LazyPurple
patreon
A meaty update + you were not charged the past 2 months!
🕑 Added 2020-03-28 20:59:53 +0000 UTCHello friends!!! I'm happy to be posting here again! Firstly, I'm sorry I didn't post at the start of the month - I wanted to have some cool custom-model previews to show, but due to the virus my model-maker has been super short for time... it goes without saying that life's pretty wild right now, BUT I do have two quick sequences here I'm proud of and I hope they give you a taste :) (the slow-mo stickybomb explosions are my favorite)
About not charging patrons these 2 months - as you know, these projects are always at the forefront of my mind and I want nothing more than to make them the best they can be. However, January+February were pretty terrible for me. This post is not a pity party, but at one point I was having weekly depressive episodes that would throw me out of work for days. I've since started therapy and it has already helped me so much - I haven't felt this much resilience in my work for months! So don't worry - I'm feeling better than I have in a long time and am back on a healthy daily grind to make something y'all can be proud of supporting.
My thoughts on the creative process: As my productions skills improve, I push my expectations up to match them. This is how I think things should be and I'm not complaining, BUT that means all sorts of extra bunk when working in SFM. The biggest problem with SFM is that certain decisions... can't be undone O_O. The worst example of this is that if you want the camera to cut to a new angle properly, you have to "blade" the clip into two different clips. Seems normal yeah? The problem is that these clips now have NO RELATION TO EACH OTHER. They share no information and one change in one clip can't be communicated to the other clip without janky copy-pasting. If you want to cut the camera, you have to be 100% sure that you are not going to backtrack. In other words, many decisions in SFM are "destructive" - they delete information. This creates a pretty oppressive workflow where you have to calculate every move you make - a challenge I'm up for, sure, but not one I'm capable of when I'm already feeling down from something else.
On top of all this, animation is not my passion :'D. I wish I was stronger for it, but some things you're just not born to enjoy lol. I'll be relieved to stop animating complex scenes and put my time/energy towards more consistent content (around the level of complexity as my "behind the scenes" videos), but until this series is over you can bet I will keep putting my best foot forward!
Your understanding and patience means everything to me ;-; thank you a billion, I will never take your support here for granted
Comments
Knusperfrosch (Christina S.)
Source Filmmaker sounds like the tool made by the Devil to drive people to insanity. I remember how I downloaded it once, and opened it... and looked at all the menues without having a clue what most of them did... and then screamed a bit... and decided to give up. So, Lazy, you are definitely braver than me.
LazyPurple
Amen to there being no "right way," we're all trying to figure it out on the fly these days aren't we lol. Thank you for those powerfully kind words, honestly it means so much to me
Mogo
It's relieving to hear that you aren't just sitting inside your anxieties and are always trying to fix it. Life is challenging in unprecedented ways in this completely bonkers new world we live in and there's absolutely no Right Way to live that applies to everyone. I support you not just because I like what you do, but I like who you are and the kindness that comes naturally to you. And whenever you move on from SFM, I know that much remains true, and is worth supporting.
LazyPurple
🤧 aaaaaaaaaa that's so kind of you! A failed month feels like a lifetime to me but I will try to keep it in perspective!
LazyPurple
Thank you timber ;-;
LazyPurple
I definitely have thought about it... the thing is that for every fault SFM has, it makes up for it by being built for TF2. As long as I eventually scale down what I do in SFM, it'll be a happy process again... SFM and ambition just don't mix lol
LazyPurple
Thank you!!!
LazyPurple
Don't worry, my good vibes are the property of the people 😎
LazyPurple
Thank you!! That's all I can ask for
JustaFleshWound
Have you ever considered switching to a different 3d software like Maya or Blender? Usually every time production issues come up it's something inherent to SFM, not the actual process, and I feel like you could learn new software relatively quickly and save a lot of heartache.
154Charlie
We all appreciate ya to death, I'm glad your feeling better and getting productive again! Remember, you're talking to fans that waited years and still got on board with a Patreon. A couple months is nothing so relax. :)
Hey, it happens, you’ve always gotta put yourself first. Don’t rush things, take you time and relax, we’ll all be waiting with open arms
Take all the time you need, we will support you no matter what!! ❤️
I am glad to hear that you're doing better. Never stop sharing your good vibes my dude.
Hey lazy you do great work man and great works requires great patience! We are here for you LazyPurple! Im here in case you ever need to talk too!
Ardate
You're one of the most resilient people I know, no matter what you'll pull through everything. You're doing great lad ♥
LazyPurple
<3 thank you
Inwë Meneldur
Take your time, Lazy. We'll all still be here when you're ready
