Icecreamassassin
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From Ruins to Renewal
🕑 Added 2021-08-23 16:02:45 +0000 UTCThis has been one hell of a year to weather. Heck it's been insufferable weather as well. We thought 2020 was a tough year and then 2021 said "hold my beer".
This year has absolutely pummeled our team with a veritable grapeshot of challenges. With the removal of Ic0n from the team, Pickysaurus having to step back from a lead role due to RMI (repetitive motion injury) concerns with constant keyboard and mouse usage for both work and the project, Sirjesto's current challenges that have taken him away from the norm to people's loss of family and pets, downturns in health, pressures at work, and more; it's amazing we are even still standing at this point.
I will admit that in between spurts of productivity I have felt pretty downtrodden in recent months. Some folks have stepped up to take on more responsibilities and help out to fill the void in various areas, but it's still quite disheartening to hit a stride and then immediately have to readjust expectations because a key person has had to step back and I have to pop into damage control or project management mode and leave my own development tasks undone while I re-attribute tasks and reassess priorities with the remaining team. Not to mention the time involved in teaching some folks certain tasks to bring them up to speed.
Earlier this year I gave the green light for our voice actor director to start casting, thinking that it would be the motivation we needed on the writing and implementation teams to finish quest writing, editing, and implementation, but then fate yanked the rug out from under us and gave us a set back on team involvement. Luckily the slow down has affected all areas evenly, even in voice direction, so luckily we still are more or less in line with our timetable, just an extended version of it instead.
I have always said to myself that "what I am doing here cannot ever feel like work, it has to be done as enjoyment and fulfillment, because as soon as it feels like work, it becomes a job, rather than a passion." I'll be honest, it's been very hard to not feel like this has become work at times, especially in recent months. I've tried pushing through to just get things done, since we're not in a creative development arc as much as a nuts and bolts 'slap it all together' mode, but that very quickly changes the status quo in how I feel about the project. Logistics are a killer to creativity and inspiration, and ultimately to my productivity. I often feel like I'm dragging and have too much to do both in real life and the project...
But then something simple happens; a comment from a fan on how amazing they think Legacy is and how they just can't wait for Odyssey, or a small wave of inspiration hits that makes me think "wow, it would be amazing if we can take the story in that direction and do that." or just a few notes of the music we have for Odyssey starts to stir the vat of inspiration again and gets the creativity flowing once more, maybe a few fans asking questions or having a hypothetical discussion about what could be in store in Odyssey; all just rekindles that spark.
It is ultimately a challenge to keep pressing forward while the troops are falling down all around you. Some step up to support the walking wounded, or take up the fallen flag to continue pressing on, but it's an up hill battle to be certain. I often wrestle with the existential quandary of "Is my current state of mind the way it is because of the challenges presented by our overall team situation? Or have I simply been doing this for too long?" or "Should I just go back to my tower and do my own thing rather than managing a large team on a massive project?"
In the end, very little in life gives me quite the same giddy feeling as the prospect of creation in this world; the thought of the results of a finished product, the passing thought on some clever scene exchange between characters, a bit of inspiring music that brings to mind the motivations of the main antagonist, seeing active discussion between some team members who are producing results; all things that remind me that this is something good, and I am at the heart of it, not only beating onward to keep it alive, but also being fed by the very things I'm supporting.
Just like the towers of Nirn, some may fall but so long as there are others left behind, it won't completely crumble, and there are always those aspiring to create entirely new towers to reinforce the framework of the Aurbis so that creation can go on.
Comments
-Zee-
I know I'm a bit late to the party, however, but I just saw you had a Patreon when I decided to try my luck with putting together a new Skyrim playthrough and there was an updated Legacy, I had to come by and see if you needed a new Surveyor. I am a disabled vet who is unemployable and not able to get around well. I can't tell you how much what you all have put together means to me, you bring life to a game and adding a reason to check every nook and cranny as well as every weapon everyone carries to see if it might have a place on the rack. I wish I had the ability to deal with more mods that fit into legacy so I could see even more- there were a lot of patches in the official patcher I didn't have the mods for. That, and the quests you added into the mods made me stop and go wait, what? Then have fun doing those too. I haven't made it all the way through. Mostly issues with me needing to fix my load order and really fix the errors (it's on me) your work is great. Mostly why I'm starting things again. I found out some things I was doing wrong the last few times. Anyway. Keep up the great work!! We appreciate what you do and it brings joy and to people that really need a focus and a way to distract from pain and other issues. What you do is wonderful. Thank you very much, ICE.
Thank you so much you guys! I really appreciate it. I've started a new playthrough and my younger 13yo son has also started playing! So its been a kick to watch him explore the legacy content and his look of surprise when I say "legacy added that" to something he finds lol.
