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Deep Leffen Goes to Court: Part II
🕑 Added 2020-10-07 16:34:04 +0000 UTCThis is part 2 in an ongoing series. See part 1 here:
the date was august 14th 2019. i was wearing a pair air jordans, an autographed jersey from basketball legend "James (and the Giant Peach)", and my court-assigned handcuffs.
i couldn't believe what i was hearing in the courtroom. three counts of child gaming, two counts of murder, two counts of threatening to "unleash my final form", five counts of "super assault", four counts of terrorism, one count of "actually that was kind of sick" and "you want a taste of this, cowboy?", four counts of "100% he completely deserved it", two counts of "this guy, but with swords. what do you think about that?" and one count of jayrunning.
the death penalty was mentioned, and the courtroom erupted. mrs. bennington's father stood up with tears in his eyes, shouting, "Leff, you been a good friend to mah daughter and mah family, and we ain't got no complaints. i know you didn't mean to murder her (twice)." the judge told mrs bennington's father to "stfu or get out." he was angry since there were no everything bagels left when he returned to the break room.
armada, my lawyer, watched from the courtroom hallway, his arms crossed, steepled fingers in front of his lips. he was certain of my guilt, but the money i was able to pay him clouded his judgment. i asked him about my prepared statement. he paused for a minute and said, "when the sun collides with the horizon, and the world is bathed in the brilliant fire of dawn, take solace, for you will know that the world has not ended, and we will see each other in life's afterparty." i asked him what that meant, but he cut me off and told me to "stfu or get out." i could tell something brilliant was brewing in armada's mind, just waiting to be unleashed... not unlike my final form.
the jury entered the courtroom, and my body started to tremble, but i held my head high (just barely above the judge's head to assert dominance). the prosecution, led by hungrybox, approached the floor. beside him was crunch who was whispering sweet words of encouragement in hungrybox's ear. "we will call our first witness to the stand. codename: supermassive black hole." the judge roared like a lion. "you can call me myles", the witness said quietly. he walked up the stand, and the courtroom looked on. "state your name for the court," the prosecution gleefully exclaimed like schoolyard children. myles took a drink of water, and answered, "the name's robert." the courtroom seemed convinced that robert was myles' name. the prosecution leaned back in his chair and smiled. "robert, you're the best friend that leff here has. what do you think of him?"
[End of Pt. 2]
