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Turn Gaming Into A Career...
🕑 Added 2021-04-14 20:49:10 +0000 UTC1. Turn gaming into a career and you'll never need a vacation.
2. Discover that it's hard to enjoy a hobby when your life depends on it.
3. Realize that you've lost your only escape from work and don't have the time to find new ones.
4. Take a vacation, you'll need it.
5. Try to clear your head and re-discover what makes you happy.
6. Develop a fondness for black tar heroin.
7. Sell your children's toys for drug money.
8. Fall asleep for 6 months.
9. Wake up with the realization that you are suffering from the effects of gaming withdrawal. 10. Research "gaming withdrawal" on Wikipedia.
11. Learn that gaming withdrawal is a real problem that affects hundreds of millions of child gamers each year.
12. Spend even less time with your family in the coming days in an attempt to research more about cool things on the internet.
13. Assuming you don't discover a quick solution, decide that a complete overhaul of your lifestyle is the only solution.
14. Remember that the only source of validation in your life is gaming skill, and start to wonder if it's even possible to get validation in other ways.
15. Remember that quitting gaming will most likely make you worse at gaming.
16. Consider taking college courses in the sciences in an attempt to secure a high-paying job.
17. Realize that the sciences are difficult.
18. Realize that you actually might be too stupid to learn anything other than gaming.
19. Temporarily turn to religion before discovering that it sucks.
20. Spend more time with your family and friends and let them know how much you appreciate them.
21. Agree to go to church with your mother, but get kicked out for gaming during communion.
22. Experience an epiphany.
23. Realize that meaning in life is socially constructed. Only you get to decide what makes life worth living.
24. Give up on the whole self-improvement thing as you realize that you can find happiness in pretty much anything that's illegal.
25. Try your best to maintain a lifestyle that will keep you alive, as that's the main prerequisite to living.
26. Experience one last, intense craving in the months leading up to your 30th birthday and miss the rush of playing video games.
27. Adopt a dog and dedicate yourself to his happiness.
28. Beat the shit out of your dog almost daily.
29. Die of lung cancer.
30. Have your dog die of lung cancer.
31. Bury yourself next to your dog and try to remember what made him happy.
32. Discover that you're dead and try to get un-dead.
32. Go to hell and try to make friends with various demons.
33. Ultimately realize that the demons are better at making friends than you are, and are way better at gaming.
34. Go to sleep and wake up to find yourself in a tutorial phase for a new game titled "Life."
35. You're given the option to skip the tutorial, but you decide not to.
36. Realize that you missed a lot of important details of the game that you didn't realize on your first playthrough.
37. Discover that the game is much better when you focus on improving the lives of those around you, and being kind to everybody you meet.
38. Find out that the final boss at the end of the game is yourself, and that victory depends upon fully discovering who you are.
39. Realize that every choice you make is an endorsement of the kind of person you want to be. Choices add to your stats and determines how your character develops over time. Developing your stats is an important task if you want to take on the bigger challenges in the game.
40. Find out that the game is much more fun when you take on bigger challenges, and when solving those challenges help those around you.
41. Discover that others are much better than you at the game, and that's okay. The point is to play at your own pace and enjoy it, not to beat others.
42. Find out that there is a way to cheat in the game by using a "save game" breakpoint to manipulate your stats to level up quickly.
43. Use the cheat to reach level 250+ and get ready to have sex with hot babes.
44. Realize that the cheat codes were poisoned. Your body is riddled with tumors and you are filled with regret on your deathbed.
45. You're given the option to rest in peace, or restart the game.
46. You hover over the "restart the game" option briefly, before deciding you've lived enough for a lifetime.
47. Sleep well, Prince.
