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Basketball Hoop Man
🕑 Added 2020-12-30 20:58:20 +0000 UTCIt started to become clear to me by the seventh hour that the attractive gentleman before me was not a man at all, but some kind of “basketball hoop man” with a slender, metallic body and a hoop for a face. By the eighth hour, I came to realize that "basketball hoop man" was, in fact, more man than me and half the woman I hoped to become. He had approximately one more hoop head than I had and far fewer appendages. Yet, despite all of our differences, I couldn't help but feel that he was a basketball hoop and I was not.
By the ninth hour, I started to conclude that perhaps I should have heeded my father’s advice that antifreeze is not nearly as delicious as it sounds. By hour ten, I was almost certain that I had found the answer to the age-old question of what would happen if you drank an entire bottle of anti-freeze because you thought it would make you a better e-gamer. And by hour eleven, people took me even less seriously than before, questioning both my credentials as an e-gamer and an e-athlete.
The referee’s whistle drew our attention back to the game's outcome. I had hit Basketball hoop man in the hoop by accident. He seemed unfazed by the incident, but I could tell I had hurt him emotionally. The ref declared the game a draw and I went back to the locker room to chat with the boys. I grabbed a bottle of antifreeze to rehydrate and wash the taste of antifreeze out of my mouth. I felt sad. As I slumped against a locker, the team approached me from behind in a circle, linked arms, and chanted "please don't let him die."
It was at that moment, I knew something wasn't right- Basketball Hoop Man was nowhere to be found. I began to worry that the effects of the antifreeze would never materialize and wondered if I got a bad batch.
I went over to the bathroom sink to wash my face. I took one look in the mirror but I did not recognize the reflection as my own. What I saw in the mirror was Basketball Hoop Man, but with my visage, his body, my voice, and his genitals.
"What are you doing in my locker room? " I called out.
"You got beat," he replied. "I know," I replied with defeat.
"Now get out of here," I yelled.
"I'm not leaving your side, buddy. I made you that promise the day you were born, and I don't intend to break it."
"Just please go. I'm not okay," I shouted.
"I know you're not. But you will be. I promise"
I smiled and felt a tear roll down my cheek.
"I really miss you, Dad. It's been hard without you here."
"I know. But I've always been there for you. You have to know that."
"I do."
"You'll be better soon. And once you get over this slump, you'll be stronger than before. You'll be kinder and gentler to others, since you'll know how hard life can be. Promise me you won't lose hope."
"Okay, dad. I promise," I said wiping tears from my eyes.
"And if you ever need to see me again, just a dab of antifreeze will do the trick."
As I walked out into the twilight of twilight, a glint of gold caught my eye, and I saw that, somehow, instead of a basketball hoop standing before me, it had turned into a beautiful, golden basketball hoop. Somehow I knew my dad was watching over me, and everything was right again with the world.
