Skwrlwrld
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Quick (Long) Update
🕑 Added 2023-12-08 05:39:49 +0000 UTCHey, all! Skwrl here! I just wanted to take a minute to once again say thank you all for your support this year. This past year has been a struggle to say the least. I wish I could say different, but I don't see it as a totally bad thing. Hardships are what make us stronger people, and though the start of the year I hit some really low lows, I've seen some high highs in other areas.
Earlier this year, I large rift in my friend group had caused me and many others so much frustration, depression, and paranoia. There was a point where I almost went off the deep end into what I can only equivalate to a schizophrenic episode. Thankfully, I am healthy enough now and know that I'm not prone to that at all. However, the level of distrust I had for my friend got close to that point; I felt that I had no one I could trust. Nobody who could grapple with that sort of situation and how it all transpired or relate to my scenario. I'll spare the details, but it was a point in my life where I felt the weight of everything being slammed down on my back again and again. My dream job, my hope for a financially stable and enjoyable future, stopped scheduling me. My spring semester was disastrously affecting my mental health. My sleep schedule was the screwiest it's ever been. Tried therapy to get some sort of narcolepsy diagnosis, and slept in through my last two meetings. And worst of all, not only could I not trust my friends; they couldn't trust me.
I admit where I've messed up. I've lied and hurt people I'm close to and though it was never my intention, it fucked us all up. It was a bad situation. Seeing so many of my friends I spent so much time with and connected with so much become bitter enemies and create factions, and any attempts to mediate the situation were met with frustration and hatred, it broke my heart. It gave me shortness of breath and heart palpitations just thinking about it at work. As much as I tried to shut it out, it stressed me beyond comprehension. But I ultimately had a choice to remain neutral and respect their wishes. Instead, I fell into the well of hatred and anger that led us to choose sides and resent the people we still in our hearts loved dearly, and I regret it to this day and probably will for years to come.
The positive of all this is that despite it all... things got better. I grew into myself this summer, and spent lots of time in introspection, reflecting on myself and my actions. Despite the difficulties this semester, I managed to get through and stay focused long enough to pass. I've made every effort to reconnect with my old friends, and amazingly, people have started to feel comfortable with each other again. It finally feels like things are as they should be, and I can be grateful for what I've got now.
That was a really long way of saying... thank you all. From the bottom of my heart. You're support through the year means so so much to me. You are the people who keep me alive and breathing. You are the people I have even when I feel like I have nothing. I may not show and I damn well don't post enough to make it worth it, but even still you guys are so important to me and the dream I have for the future. I wouldn't be where I am without you all, and I'm looking forward to making more art, animations, comics, and plenty other creations for you all for years to come.
Stick around til then, and Happy Holidays.
