English Teacher KP
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Patreon Early Access- I Wrote a Thing...
🕑 Added 2022-05-04 14:41:47 +0000 UTCHello! As you already know, I will be doing a "Homemade Dynamite" reaction later today, but I wanted to share another exclusive first. I wrote a poem/short story that I will eventually share on YouTube and Instagram (I think). I wanted to give you guys early access.
For context, this piece of writing is based off of an event that actually happened. When I was in the 12th grade, I had my first and only sleepwalking experience which ended with me walking directly into my closet door. I couldn't stop thinking about this incident the other week...partly because I was feeling very sad about the passing of my friend/ex. I started thinking about how it all seems like yesterday and how quickly time passes. I also started thinking about the symbolism within my sleepwalking experience. I hope you all enjoy--
The Spider Spell
His breath is hot on the back of my neck, but
his watch is cool on my bare stomach.
I push the blanket off of myself and
untangle my legs from his and reach down to the purple carpeted floor.
I sit up, pulling my shirt back on.
On the edge of the bed, I sit. Transfixed.
Am I
awake?
Is this real?
I look back at him– his hazel eyes are closed. Still sleeping, I guess.
He looks innocent when he sleeps, I think to myself, not at all like he did before when he–
I grin devilishly at the thought.
He’s handsome. Black waves for hair and hazel eyes.
I can still feel the scruff of his beard on my delicate summer skin.
But now I’m sitting on the edge of the bed.
Suddenly, my attention is drawn away from my lover’s slumber.
I look at my closet door; it’s covered in posters…mostly of Marilyn Monroe,
The middle poster demands my attention…young Norma Jean posing on the beach.
So beautiful.
So heartbreaking.
So–
Wait…what is that?
It’s a spider. There’s a spider on Marilyn.
Right on her tummy.
A black spider blends into the black and white picture quite well. I almost didn’t notice it.
It’s a pretty spider.
Big.
Really big, actually.
Is he moving?
He is black, but the surface of his body is textured somehow. His three dimensions stand out against the flat of the poster.
I want to touch him as he must be magical, right?
Why else do I sit here on the edge of the bed so transfixed?
Surely, the spider is casting the spell throughout the room.
I stand slowly.
I begin to walk.
Slowly.
I mustn’t scare him away.
As I approach Marilyn, I am immersed in her black and white world.
I feel her pain.
The spider grows bigger; he’s covering most of her now.
He won’t bite me.
I don’t think he will bite me.
I reach out slowly, and my limbs feel hexed.
Who’s controlling my actions now?
I reach to touch him…to touch the pretty spider devouring Norma Jean, but
I can’t reach.
I must move closer, I suppose.
I take one more step.
Then another.
Then–
The black and white world is gone. Everything is black now.
I panic.
Where am I?
“Baby! Oh my god! Holy shit! Are you ok?”
Whose voice is that?
It can’t be my lover.
He is sleeping.
Nevertheless, I feel myself being pulled up from the carpet by two strong hands.
I feel his cold watch.
“KP! Baby, you ran into the closet… I think you were sleepwalking!”
The voice feels distant, and everything is still black.
But where did the spider go?
Is Marilyn ok? Did he eat her?
I’m scared. My heart is racing.
My lover’s arms do feel nice, though.
It’s just so dark.
Maybe if I open my eyes.
How do I do that when I’m still under the spider’s spell?
I try,
but they’re glued shut.
Just concentrate, I tell myself, You can do this. You can break the spell…
just count.
One.
Two.
Three.
The spell is breaking; the glue is coming apart!
Four.
Five-
My sticky eyes shoot open, and I–
Wait…this isn’t….
Where is my lover? He isn’t holding me anymore.
Marilyn is gone, too.
Everything is different now.
Hardwood floors and responsibilities replace the fuzzy, purple, care-free carpet of my childhood.
He’s gone.
He’s really, really gone.
And I guess I am, too. In a way.
Emptiness fills my soul and the very air around me.
Where did the time go?
How did I get here?
Just a few steps before this, I was seventeen.
Just a few moments ago, I was half-naked in my lover's arms.
Now
Now
Now, I’m here–
The victim of a spider’s spell.
Comments
English Teacher KP
I'm so sorry for your loss! It's so difficult. I feel like I'm still working through my grief every day. Thank you so much for reading 💜💜💜
Camila Dejesus
This is beautiful! I feel your emptiness. A few weeks ago I found out a longtime friend of mine had also ended their life. It's been really hard since then. i remember when you did the Forever Winter review, and I understood on paper the emotions you felt. But now I just keep thinking about us in school, and it breaks me that I can't freeze time. I'm sorry you're going through this <3 But your art is beautiful
English Teacher KP
Thank you so much! The "hexed" line is it favorite line!
English Teacher KP
Thank you!
Wanda Smith
I love this....it's a bit unsettling. I particularly enjoyed the phrase "lover's slumber" as well as your use of "hexed".
Iolita Kovatchki
I love this!
English Teacher KP
Thank you so much!
English Teacher KP
I'm so glad you're back!!! Thank you so much!
Great poem English teacher Kp!! Also in back!!
Lindsay Bennett
So beautiful. Thank you for sharing 💖
English Teacher KP
Let me know what you guys think! Please don't repost anywhere! Love you guys!
