TheVerpardess
patreon
I'm sorry :-(
🕑 Added 2017-02-06 11:20:19 +0000 UTC Hey guys... oh man I was just hopeless last month with artwork x_xI'm really sorry for the huge lack of content these past few months guys... it's been a mixture of work and depression making things difficult for me to keep up with it. While I AM getting these 2 commissions done, I have been feeling so tired and unmotivated. But I will get there I promise ^^ as well as sending out those rewards. I was hoping to get just a FEW more pictures done before sending reward links because I feel bad that I didnt get enough art done last month.
But yeah work has been making it tough to keep it up. I work 6 days a week, sometimes 7! So yeah as you can imagine I hardly get much free time right now. However, work will be getting 'quiet' again in March (once Summer ends here) so I imagine by then, I'll finally get back to my normalartistic self again.
I've also been thinking more and more about possibly leaving the whole online scene for a while... as in a year or two. DeviantART, in particular.
I had already made a new account for my original content (which I am working on behind the scenes and doing concepts for) and using my Lurking-Leanne account for everything else (Fanart, commissions, gifts) but I just cant stop feeling like my name has been tarnished by those 'certain people' in the R&C fandom. They continue to stalk my page, make statues about me and continue to indirectly bash me (whenever I check who's visiting constantly, I bet there's more if I tried looking more). I try to ignore it and just move away from it, but the more they stalk and ruin my name, the more I want to get away from it all and disappear. I've already gone from fandoms, but they STILL wont leave me alone. They even accuse me of being an 'attention & fame seeker' just for saying that I left the R&C fandom. Oh and them accusing me of 'dicating Ace' and trying to make my fan ideas 'canon'. Which is ironic considering I'm actually trying to convert most of my fan-ideas to original. Ugh. I'm just sick and tired of this online drama bullshit. I at least do a good effort to not respond to them in any way, but it does still irk me and makes me feel powerless by not standing up for myself, because if I do, then it gets worse.
I dont even do anything and they still insist on harassing me and making up crap about me.
I even went through my whole gallery and removed ratchet & clank tags from nearly all my art with Ace/verpardi. That's how much I dont want to be associated with that toxic & closeminded community anymore. And most of my art is gone from R&C groups, well, they already removed most of it for me anyway.
Will I actually leave DA and other social sites for a long while? Not sure, I guess I'll hold on for now but if I feel like it's making me become too stressed and depressed, I'll have to leave for my own sake, until things get better. (whatever happens, I'll still be on Patreon until I have no supporters left)
ANYWAY that's just dumb online drama but it has made me feel put off wanting to do much as of late. I keep feeling tempted to delete everything and hide away for a while, but at the same time, I dont want to because I have a lot of good people watching and following me too...
Even though my streams get next to nobody in them anymore, and my art gets less and less feedback (might be thanks to the bullies, not sure really) but I have been inactive so that's likely the main reason for that.
I'll try hard to be strong either way, but work does come first so things will still be a bit slow this month :-( but I will get there. I live off art, so there's no way I'll let it die anytime soon, or I'll be going down with it.
TaraM
Comments
If you ever want to talk you can always talk to me :)
You've got nothing to be sorry about. If you don't feel well enough to do any art then don't. Don't push yourself if you force yourself you will feel worse, do things when you want to. Do things that you want to do. Ignore those fucks on those social sites they're just jealous of your talent. Maybe take a break from r&c and try a new subject or maybe some ob? But don't do things to please others, do things that please you :)
