Maou Razonica
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Chapter 22: Coming Out
🕑 Added 2024-05-18 13:09:09 +0000 UTC_________________
Name: Haell Zharignan
Species: Human
—Mutations—
Human Heart: Level 7
Human Brain: Level 10 (Max)
Human Skin: Level 6
Human Eyes: Level 5
Human Flesh / Human Bones / Enduring Musculature(synced) : (All) Level 5
Dextrous Hands: Level 5
Flutter Feet: Level 6
Adrenaline Gland: Level 4
—Soul Feats—
Reincarnator
_________________
[Human Brain has reached its current maximum level. It will not gain any further levels until it has evolved. Do you wish to evolve this Mutation? Y/N]
I achieved my first level 10 Mutation just in time for my tenth birthday. I was well ahead of the curve, but certainly no unheard-of prodigy. It was still an amazing feat, and my lack of supreme talent only made me more proud. I’d tear down all geniuses with sheer perseverance and effort.
No.
I declined to evolve my brain for now. I had a plan, and it involved having all of my Mutations at the precipice, and then evolving them all at once with a suitable enhancement. The enhancement would be a matching material; an eye for eye, a leg for a leg, and so on for all of my available Mutations.
Now, would this actually work?
I had absolutely no fucking idea.
I was basing it off of one illustration on the Angelic Scriptures, a book that was definitely full of bullshit. But, I was desperate, and this was my one lead. I was gambling on my guess of the method used to create the ishkawtans and the fountans being correct.
It was dangerous, it could kill me, but I was willing to bet it all for a chance. A chance to actually achieve all of my dreams.
I’ve already died once. What is one more?
For now, however, it was a day for celebrations. We were gathered at the rooftop of a high-end restaurant in the upper district. Me, all my four friends, my grandfather, my loving parents, and the rest of the Puh-P-P-P-Piss Hunters. It was a more private affair, just as I wanted.
Human servers and waitresses set the table, and we sat around the large circular construction of rare and ancient wood. There was a turntable at the center filled with cakes, meat, and every other kind of meat. Underneath them were various enchantments that emitted different kinds of temperatures and humidity, keeping all the food at their individual perfect conditions.
I blew on the cake candles and wished everyone a happy birthday. Laughs and gifts followed, and I finally received Moonwash’s fully enchanted gift. It was a beautiful training sword with a sliding switch.
That was how switches typically worked for enchantments, the main repository was just directly disconnected from the circuit in order to turn the item on or off. The lights and air conditioning at our home worked the same way.
I gave it a few swings, and ended up damaging a few very expensive windows because of the wind shockwave it produced. My parents assured me it was fine, and I felt very happy for the gift I received.
I thanked Moonwash and treasured the sword forever.
~~~
I dressed myself in my full regalia. From a flowing black and red dress that I treated myself to for my birthday last week, to makeup that seemed to submerge parts of my face in the deepest of shadows. Necklaces writ in Morsian hung from my neck, the both of them conveying ‘Victory’ and ‘Freedom’ respectively. I completed the look with a headband that Angerly gave me as a present yesterday. A pair of horns that stood tall and proud atop my head.
Perfect.
I grinned, staring at my own reflection. I looked dangerous, I felt powerful, like I could take on anything in the world. I felt just that bit more confident than a moment ago, if only a little.
I should thank Angerly for how perfect her gift was. I allowed my mind to wander, staring at the pink walls of my room. Angerly couldn’t have ever known how much her present meant to me, because the empire had no concept of demons at all. No myths, nor legends, not even rumors. I didn’t think the native cultures had any idea what a demon was either.
This was very strange, considering that we were ruled by literal angels. But of course, whatever inexplicable parallels our current reality might have to the fiction and folklore of Earth, there was no reason at all for an entire species to work like how the humans had envisioned them back in my homeworld.
In Angelism, the common belief was that people would return to the Angelic God’s side once they died, should they be found worthy. Heaven. Otherwise, they would be cast off into the void, uncaring, unfeeling, unexisting, for all eternity. Hell.
This was why the people of this place were so adamant in either killing or reforming the heretics and ‘rebels’. From their perspective, we were only making things worse for ourselves, for the eternity that would follow our short mortal lives. And if we were too far gone to be cast off into hell anyway, then we might as well die now instead of causing any more disorder before we go.
Having reaffirmed who the enemy was, I gave myself one last glare, before turning away from the mirror with a grin plastered on my face.
One foot in front of the other, I made my way through the spacious hallways and towards the dining area. The door creaked open, and I saw my parents and grandparent, waiting for me with welcoming smiles.
I almost retreated and ran away right then, but my pride would not allow me to do so. This was the most nerve-wracking thing I’d ever experienced and I had died once before. But I was stronger than my fears and my worries, so I did not shrink away from the family meeting that I had called.
“Hey!” I greeted them cheerfully, forcing a smile on myself.
“Hey Haell! So excited to see what you’ve in store for us today!” Mom smiled back.
“We’re here for you no matter what.” Dad nodded.
“This better be good!” Grandpa upped the pressure by a lot. I chuckled at his antics. I was made even more nervous despite knowing that he was joking, although the jovial tone was also reassuring in its own way.
The chair creaked along the ground as I took my seat. I opened my mouth to speak, but found that I did not hold the proper words. I took a few minutes to churn over my thoughts, and my family patiently allowed me to do so.
“Loss for words? Why, I was lost for words once when I first killed a monster in–”
“Dad,” my own dad spoke. “Please. Not the time.”
He laughed. “Yeah. I know. Just fucking with you.”
“Golex!” It was my mom who shouted.
“Oh, sorry Mahka. Just friggin with you.”
“I… I think that’s worse…”
“I want to become a demon!” I shouted over them. When in doubt, just jump right in!
“I like it! Follow your dreams!” my grandfather instantly responded. At least Grandpa’s on my side!
“I…” Mom thought it over for a few seconds, settling back into her seat. “I’ve never heard of a demon before…”
Dad took a minute, before he decided on what to add. “Can you tell us more about it Haell? So we can better help you.”
“Well…” I pondered where best to start. “Demons were mythical creatures from my home. Earth. You know how I’m a reincarnator. These demons didn’t really exist… but they were very cool, so now I want to become one by changing my species!”
Mom and Dad shared a look. Grandpa spoke first. “Interesting. I’ve heard about these demons… from the only other reincarnator I knew. One from the same world as you, even! What are the odds! But curiously… she described demons as real and actual beings that tempt and lead humans astray. Why are you talking about them like they’re fictional?”
I knew he was talking about the Empress Shanayah. He was in her party hundreds of years ago. Grandpa didn’t really want to talk about it, but he’s famous, word was bound to reach my ears eventually.
I shrugged. “I mean, they’re superstitions. People say that demons are around, but like… where? It’s all just beliefs upon beliefs, and while I thought they were pretty cool, and I even changed my body to match, and I certainly considered myself to be a demon by then… the mythical idea of a demon from hell with magic bullshit just… didn’t exist?”
“Oh, now ‘hell’ I know!” Mom exclaimed. “But isn’t that the void you are tossed in if you don’t follow the angels or whatever? There are people in there!?”
I laughed. “No. My world’s hell is a little bit different…”
I went on to explain more about Earth’s demons, their usage in cultural and religious texts, as well as how they were depicted in contemporary works. From evil wicked entities, to cruel violent monsters, to sophisticated schemers, to humans just in a different color scheme.
“Okay… I have a lot of questions,” Dad started, being deliberately gentle in his wording, “but first and most importantly, Haell. Why do you want to be a demon? A lot of how they are depicted seems… well, kind of bad? And evil?
I felt a lump in my throat at the perceived rejection, but I knew it was a very reasonable thing to ask. I’d long agonized about how I would even broach this subject, and I had a comprehensive response ready.
“That… is how most people view it, yes. It has… a lot of negative connotations. But for me it’s always been a symbol of freedom. To rebel against all odds, even against the divine. It is a form that represents power. It is a form that has been attributed to me since I was a child, called a demon for the things I liked and how I behaved. I felt such great shame for it for the longest time, until I realized that I am indeed the demon they feared and hated, and I like it that way. I didn’t want to go to their churches, I didn’t want the life of a slavering wife that’s stuck at home caring for a bunch of goblins, I don’t like them. The people in my circles. The people I was obligated to be around, instead of me choosing to be with them. They were boring. Our interests never aligned, I was never interested in which bone they sprained this time, or where their fucking child puked. I didn’t like the silent pressure to give them my money for no fucking reason, or to attend stupid events where I’ll only feel miserable. I didn’t want to jeopardize my friendships because they were stoners or gay or whatever else my folk were fucking afraid of. Which I am both of those things by the way, Mom, Dad. Or well, at least one of them. I’m definitely not stealing drugs from Baston or anything behind your back… That was weirdly specific, but I swear I’m not! I’ve just thought about it, is all…”
I paused to process my own words. I lost track of my own ramblings at some point.
“I'm sorry Haell,” Mom started. “That your parents weren't weren't half as good as us!”
"Not even a fourth!” I happily provided.
“An eighth!” she countered.
“Tenth!”
“Not even my pinkie toes!”
“No, no. Not at all.” I laughed, thankful for the reprieve.
“It goes without saying as well, Haell,” Dad added. “But it’s fine that you’re gay. And the drugs… Well, we can’t stop you when you’re older. But be safe, keep in mind who you do it with…”
“Yes, Dad. I know all that stuff. I’ve lived it once. Also, I’m bi is what I meant to say. Not gay.”
“Ah, well, that’s fine too.” He smiled, but he was still clearly very worried about the next part. “So, about becoming a demon…”
I remembered what I’d forgotten to add earlier, so I hurried to shout it out. “Demons are also just really cool! I want to look like one. It’s… it’s freeing! Euphoric! And then I want to be as powerful as that appearance would suggest and more!”
I slammed my hand down onto the table, producing a piece of parchment that depicted my idea of a demon. Humanoid, with blood-red skin, goat-like eyes, hooves instead of feet, very muscular, long curving horns, wings, and even a thick and strong tail! Not the ones like those of a succubus, which was fine and all, but it always felt like that of a lower tier demon to me. I wanted to be the big and strong and dangerous ones!
Mom, Dad, and Grandpa leaned over to look at the drawing I’d produced. I didn’t do it myself of course, it was Moonwash who made it in a way that was even better than whatever it was I had in mind.
“Well, I like how it looks!” Mom said.
“If that’s what will make you happy,” Dad agreed. “It’d be hard to get a good biomancer to begin with, but… Well, actually, it’s your dream right? You want to work for it? You’re gearing up to become an adventurer, yes?”
“Oh, no. I want to change my species. Not just cosmetics. I’ve already done that before!”
All three sets of eyes turned towards me so fast, Grandpa’s gaze most intense of all.
“Ah! But I do intend on becoming an adventurer!” I quickly amended, giving my grandpa a thumbs up. “A real one, very adventurous, not a glorified traveling preacher!”
Grandpa laughed, though the glint in his eyes remained. “That’s good! But what’s this about changing your species.”
“Oh, well, as mentioned, I want to become a demon through and through with all the power that entails. Humans are… Well, you guys are cool. It's as good a species as any other. But I want to be a demon instead.”
“Oh, but biomancy doesn’t work that way, Haell,” Mom explained. “It won’t change your species, or your Mutations. It might even lead to them not working properly anymore…”
“Ah, yeah. I figured. I’ve asked around, learned some stuff.” Mom and Dad had lots of books, and I certainly wasn’t just training my combat prowess. I got some good at-home education too. Plus whatever I pick up from the rest of the Piss Hunters. “I have a theory though…”
Mom’s eyes sparkled. “A theory! My baby’s got theory! Come on, hit me with it!”
She had leaned over the table, eyes boring into my own. I chuckled. “Okay, mom. Uh, do you have an Angelic Scripture here?”
Dad raised his brow. “Changed your mind, Haell? You want to do Angelism? We’ll still love you either way, of course. But I got the opposite impression with your whole presentation here.”
I rolled my eyes. But in a fun and loving way. “Species change has been done before. The angels have done it. No matter my feelings on the matter, there’s no reason to not reference their work.” Granted, I didn’t really look at the scriptures for the longest time, because I thought it just sucked ass and I didn’t really want anything to do with it. At all. Ever.
That was a tad narrow-minded, and I ended up closing off some pertinent information for no reason.
Grandpa grunted as Mom left to fetch the book. He’d seemed pensive ever since I mentioned changing my species. Well, he does love humanity… And I do think that’s fine. Just… I want something else for myself.
Mom returned, and gave me the Angelic Scripture. I searched for the proper page, which took a few minutes, more… goddamn this book is thick. Eventually, finally, I found the picture I was looking for.
“See here? The gifts the angels are giving to the first ishkawtans and fountans? Well, they look remarkably like eyes or ears and shit, right? I’m thinking that… they’re using the same system for altering Mutations, but instead doing it all at once to trigger a change in species.”
“Haell!” Mom shouted. “That’s… Okay, that’s brilliant and maybe it does work that way.” She muttered to herself for a few moments, lost in thought, until she finally remembered that she was supposed to be screaming. “But that’s fucking dangerous!”
“Language Mom!” I joked.
She clamped a hand over her mouth.
“I was joking…” I’d also cursed so much during this entire conversation already. Mom’s just letting it go because of how clearly important it all is to me.
She chuckled. “I’m the one who keeps saying that. So that was completely fair. That being said, I really cannot stress enough how interesting–I mean dangerous this all is. The process you’re talking about, Mutation Squared, has a laughably low success rate, and it typically results in the Mutation becoming unusable somehow. Now compound that with doing all the Mutations at once, including that of vital organs…”
“I know all that, Mom.” I sighed.
“Right, so… You want to do it though?”
“Yep.”
“But why?”
“I’m confident.”
She blinked. “What?”
“I said I’m confident?”
“No, no. I get that. But, I mean… why? Like, is there something about you that makes it viable, do you think?”
“Maybe? I feel like I can do it. I feel like it’s the only way forward. This has always been my dream and my soul yearns for it!”
“Dreams are important, and I fully support you in your dreams. But this seems wildly dangerous…”
“...I want to try though. It’s all I’ve ever wanted! Or well, it’s what I wanted the most! And I know it’s dangerous, but that’s why I’m asking you to help me. I definitely don’t wanna die or be crippled for the rest of my life, but I already got a second shot at it! At life! I wanna achieve it all this time! I want to try!”
Tears were spilling out of my eyes by the end of that rant, and I hurried to wipe them away. Mom grabbed me before I could and pulled me into an embrace.
“Oh, Haell… I know. I know that you were someone else before. Perhaps we all were, but none of us remember. You do, though. You’re my brilliant child. So, if this is truly your dream, then of course you can pursue it, and of course we’ll help you. Just, please don’t leave us? Please.”
Dad had crouched over to us at some point, joining the embrace.
I hugged the both of them tight, crying my eyes out as I made the promise.
“I won’t die. I’ll successfully become a demon!”
Comments
ZephanyZephZeph
Yeah, she came out in all the ways. I wish my otherkin friends could come out in a similar manner, being trans is difficult enough. But, she has awesome loving parents that she finally confessed some of her past to, as well as who she is on the inside. Lots of feelings from this chapter.
