Maou Razonica
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Chapter 40: I am Demon.
🕑 Added 2024-05-18 13:31:40 +0000 UTC_______
[Prehensile Tail]
[Violent Stomach]
[Rapid Stinger]
[Pheromone Gland]
[Mate-Seeking Nose]
[Sensitive Split Tongue]
…
_______
I still had new Mutations to choose, from a nigh endless list that left me paralyzed with choice. It was a good thing that the process turned out to be literally intuitive as I could think of energy beams for example, and immediately the options would be narrowed down, from lungs that would allow me to breathe fire, to a third eye that could shoot out lasers. I spent an inordinate amount of time in our basement, just thinking of all the possibilities, from extra layers of flesh and fur, to new appendages both dextrous and rigid, to even those that would allow me to fly, perhaps as high as the outer reaches of space. I even checked if there was anything that could further alleviate the issue of my menace mana running amok in my mind just to know my options, but other than a very few Mutations that could aid in mental defenses, there were none that directly addressed mana congestion in the body.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There were a lot of Mutations that addressed that specific problem, actually! But they were all mana founts and repositories. That's what they were for. That’s what someone was supposed to do if they wanted magic within them. Not have their hearts produce it, as I did. That was a known recipe for disaster, which I only narrowly avoided by being awesome.
…And by having a brain built specifically for it. I didn’t get to choose my Demon Mutations, so that was really lucky, but I also liked to think that my efforts had somehow played a part in that. I did not wish to lose who I was.
I looked through my options for a while longer, and I found that the options got progressively fewer the more outlandish my requests were. There was a lot of variety on display, though I felt that few came close to the quality of my current Mutations, but that was to be expected since it seemed like whatever I picked would start back at level 1. I’d have to grind them all to level 10 and beyond, what a pain.
But I was more than happy to peruse and fantasize about all the tools I could use to violently murder and kill.
…That was definitely the menace mana talking, but not entirely. I had to admit that to myself. I was already very interested in becoming stronger, and I would not be shy about using whatever power I was able to obtain.
I had to get used to this and soon, and the first step was to acknowledge it as a new part of me. For all intents and purposes, my violent urges had skyrocketed, and the balance of my body had been altered. Just as brains were not truly blank slates, and how the chemicals that govern emotions differed inherently from person to person, so too have my instincts changed.
I was now a demon.
This was what I wanted, and I would have it no other way.
~~~
“Woah!”
“That looks so cool!”
“You… really did it…”
“Haell’s the best! Best demon!”
“You need to tell me about your new capabilities later. And especially about the process. This opens so many new possibilities, and insight into our very systems…”
“I’m so proud of you!”
“We both are, Haell. I’m glad you made it.”
My friends and my parents greeted me with joy and excitement, and their support easily drowned out whatever the menace within me had to say.
Grandpa was there too, and he had some choice words about how I had surpassed what the angels had achieved, and without committing genocide to do it!
Luine waved at me and I waved back. I felt there was something more to her silence, and I had an inexplicable urge to annoy her about it, as well as a refusal to apologize for my earlier actions.
Clearly in part the influence of menace mana, and I was building a better profile for what that entailed exactly.
I apologized to the woman, and said nothing more.
~~~
I went back to my room for some much needed privacy, and then I saw it.
Right there, in my mirror, staring back at me was a demon. With blood-red skin, goat-like eyes, imposing horns, and more. It was all I ever wanted, from one life to the next, and I had fucking succeeded!
"FUCK YES!" I whooped, jumping up and nearly reaching the very tall ceiling with a burst of power that left my hooves in pain, but I didn't care about that at all because I was so fucking happy.
"Holy shit. Holy shit I've done it. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
I ran around screaming, thankful for how big my bedroom was. I rolled around the floor, I wiggled lioe a worm on the mattress, there was just so much unrestrained joy in my body that I had to fucking move lest I explode from sheer fucking ecstasy.
"FUUUUCCCCKKKK!!"
I stopped myself from crashing into my mirror out of sheer joy-driven fury, but it was a near thing. This was the best day ever of my two entire lives!
Eventually, after devils(that’s me!) know how long, I collapsed back into my bed. Only now did it truly sink in that my dreams had come through, harder than they had the first time. Something else sunk as I languished on the mattress, feeling understandably tired from all the excitement of the day. The cushions underneath me dropped deeper than usual, and the frame of the bed creaked.
Ah, right.
My size largely remained the same, but my body was definitely remade. I did not get bigger, but in exchange my flesh, bone, and everything else became more dense. That was the typical trade-off, a giant’s flesh was technically easier to slice through, but there was also far more of it. They were heavier and stronger, but I was lighter and more agile. There were more complicated differences, but there was a tradeoff. I wanted to be bigger someday, but not giant big, and I was sure that’d come no matter what I did. I was only fifteen.
I could still hear the excited murmurs and gossip of the people I loved from beyond the door. Rather, they had snuck closer to the hallway leading to my room for some fucking reason. Are they trying to assassinate me while they think I’m weak? Are they laughing because they think they’ve already won? If so then I can lay traps and turn the tides of battle on them!
Waves of violent urges crashed through my being, but I did not get up from my bed. It was too comfy even now that it wasn’t actually of the best consistency for me.
I closed my eyes, and accepted all the treacherous thoughts that filled my mind. I did not blame myself for any of them. I would only be terrible and wrong if I even acted on any of these new urges without thought.
I knew exactly who I was, what my values were, and my new species reflected that. I was left with the proper tools to overcome myself, no matter how much of a wild fucking animal I inherently was.
I was a demon through and through.
~~~
I sat at the dinner table with everyone in the know; My parents, Moonwash, and Grandpa. I told them all about how my evolution into an imp went, and I even mentioned some of the achievements I’d earned and the choices I’d get to make regarding some new Mutations. Moonwash was very interested about that last part, and I promised to brainstorm things together with all of them later, but especially her. This was not a choice that I intended to rush.
I confided with them about my new problem with the menace mana coursing through my veins. It was a malicious force that literally spilled out of my skin. There was a constant miasma around me that wasn’t truly visible, but a lot easier to feel than other types.
I was pretty sure that menace magic was a derivative of curse magic, it felt very similar to the dagger that once forced me and Moonwash into conflict. From my own veteran experience of possessing menace mana for but a meager few hours… I felt like this new magic was in a constant state of being half-active, instead of being largely inert like most other forms of mana.
“That’s… going to be a problem,” Dad said. “That menace mana, inside of you, coming from your heart. It’s just like…”
“A goblin!” I finished for him cheerfully. “That’s exactly what I said!”
“You’ve got some absurd synergies though, Haell! I’m sure you can overcome it. We’ll figure it out!” Mom cheered me on, believing in me.
“That’s right! Those damn angels were never able to achieve results this good in trying to make new species! Shanayah would be green with envy! This is even better than a shepherd!”
I swallowed the piece of ham and beamed at my Grandpa. “Exactly! I should also be largely immune to mind magics! And most importantly, well…” I flexed my body, feeling just utter joy in the movement. “I love it.”
“I’m sure you do! I would’ve loved something similar myself, way back in the day. But I’m glad you would be free from those influences!”
My eyes widened. I realized something. For so long I had wondered just why Grandpa kept on fighting for the Angelore Empire when he had so many criticisms of them. But could it be… “Were you… did you get mind controlled…?”
“Nah. Maybe a little, but my actions are still my own. I’m pretty sure, at least, that I was never directly mind-controlled by the two shepherds that were in my party. Spending time with them was just kind of… Well, they influence you just a little bit more than your typical friends I guess.”
“Ehh… I don’t think it’s that mild, Gramps…” I shuddered, remembering how it felt to just be in their presence.
He chuckled. “You’re weak, Haell! Or at least, you were. Of course a sub-level 10 would be swept away underneath their very presence! They never even touch those levels, being born over level 10!”
“Oh. Huh. That makes sense. But my new brain will protect me now!”
“Maybe it will also make you smarter,” Moonwash deadpanned.
“Oi!” I snapped, nearly causing myself to choke on some steak.
Stupid steak.
I considered my grandfather’s earlier words a bit more as I continued wolf down my seventh serving of steak tonight. I would be far angrier in grandfather’s shoes, and I couldn’t help but think that it’s because he’s compromised that he was so willing to let it go. However, all I really hated was the fact that the influence came from outside. I certainly accepted the effects of my new heart and mana easily enough. I accepted my new instincts. I didn’t believe I was being brainwashed.
Because if the influence came from an organ within my body… then how was that any different from the various hormones and chemicals that already affected my emotional state?
No, it wasn’t any different. They were the same. I’d already decided on that.
My nature has become far more violent and dangerous, but it’s no less… valid than whatever nature I had before.
Perhaps very little has changed, even. I was always a menace!
~~~
I found myself back at our basement the next day, carrying pots filled with saplings, and cages that held oversized rats. Moonwash had come down here with me, but we didn’t intend to try and kill each other today like what happened before. Instead, my friend had told me that she was very interested in researching my new menace magic, along with the many new Mutations that I got. I was obviously just as interested, because these new Mutations were literally attached to my body. I had to learn them at some point.
“Wicked Magic has many applications,” Moonwash said. “As a directly damaging force, it tends to manifest as something that would tear apart whatever it’s able to hit.”
“Yeah. I’ve seen that.”
“Let’s see if menace magic is the same.”
I gave her a nod, and felt the mana within my very blood. The amount within my body had increased, worsening the mental effects, but it was still something I could handle.
I gathered the mana above my palm, and it responded to my will with an eagerness I’d never experienced before. The mana shifted and roiled, until it took on an imaginary smoke-like form, and from within that unreal miasma, I could almost perceive a single evil smirk. It laughed and whispered such sweet thoughts of treacherous domination that were hard to ignore. I gulped and guided the mass of mana with the help of my horns, and then activated the magic within. The same miasma that I’d been staring at manifested for real, a formless and cunning gas that wished for naught but pain and suffering.
It hummed in an ominous tone. It whispered through my bones and raged inside every beat of my heart. It was scarily not unpleasant.
“It’s something like telepathy…” Moonwash plugged both her ears with her fingers. “I could hear it even now. It’s not really sound as we understand it. It’s not even real.”
We continued with the experiment, and I shot the magic toward a nearby sprout. A purple mist settled within it, and after minutes of watching, the plant slowly sagged, losing life and luster.
Next, we tried one of the rats. The same purple mist settled on it, but this time there was an immediate reaction. The small animal shivered, swiveling its head every which way, as if there were threats lurking in every corner. The rat squeaked and squeaked, until it fell over dead.
“Interesting,” Moonwash said. She opened the cage and inspected the corpse. “It died from a heart attack I presume. Try it on me next.”
I gaped at her. I nearly activated my Demon Eyes. “Are you insane? We just saw what it could do!”
“I would assume that it induced terror and panic, yes. But that was a rat, a weak creature, likely stuck in very low levels, if it could even earn any. I doubt it’ll affect me in the same way. My emotions aren’t… the same as most people. And I can lack fear in a lot of ways. Not that it’s perfect or absolute. I used to think that it was, but you trying to kill me disabused me of that notion.”
Uh… that took a turn.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not especially.”
“I… I want to though. I feel like, well, you’re always there, and we help each other, but I can hardly understand you, you know? Out of anyone in the group. So if you’re fine with it, I would like to talk about… you.”
“I see. Well, what more do you want me to tell you?”
The wording was a bit harsh, but I knew she only meant to ask exactly what she said.
“I… hmmm… How do you feel? Because you always seem curious, and it’s… hard to read the emotions in your face or in your tone.”
“I feel fine. I feel sad. I feel happy. I… know what you mean, yes. I do understand how other people act. Normally. I can smile and cry and everything if I want to, just like them.” She demonstrated exactly that, and my eyebrows rose. The expressions looked very exaggerated and fake, like what you’d see in cartoons, but I didn’t comment on it. “I do not get it, honestly. I can do the expressions, yes, but I don’t really feel the need to most of the time. And from what I understand you don’t really think about it?” I nodded. “If I feel happy or sad then I… feel it. That’s it. Why… how would your face and body move by itself? Why does your tone change, how can you do it so unthinkingly? I’ve… never quite experienced that. It’s exciting. Maybe your new magic will finally give me that experience.”
“Okay. That makes sense now. And you certainly don’t have to emote if you don’t want to! But… shit, I’m an idiot, why didn’t I just ask you? All these years? Fuck. So, uh, Moonwash. How do you feel right now?”
“Excited. About your new magic and interesting Mutations. Sad. That you’re going to leave. Because I can’t experiment on you anymore. That last one was a joke.”
“Ah! Ah. Yeah… Sorry, but I need to go on my long ass training arc! Get stronger, strong enough so I can beat back all comers! Those who’d want to go after my demonic body! Use me as a material… Maybe force me to make more.” I shuddered. “I’ve heard about it from Grandpa. It’s happened before…”
“I see. I understand.” And she did. “But how does that connect to leaving us?”
“Oh, well. Shit. It would be better if I remain hidden, you know? I intend to go far from civilization for a while, rough it out in the wilds.” Albeit with some help.
“I still don’t understand why we’d have to part. Can’t I just come with you?”
I blinked. “Ah. Well. Maybe? I guess? But… this would take years, Moonwash. Years away from civilization.”
“I know. You just said that.”
…
“You’d really be fine with that?”
“Yes.”
“...Well. I guess that makes sense.”
Another pause.
“Can you use the menace magic on me now?”
“Nope!” I declined.
======= ======= ======== ======= =======
AN:
And that’s my and Haell’s answer! It’s no more mind control than the endorphins and oxytocins in your body! And of course a change in species would come with new instincts. This is what Haell willingly chose, whether she understood or not. Rejecting humanity isn’t just a reskin.
Now, I do understand that it’ll be a very difficult adjustment for Haell. It must be so strange for such a kind soul to suddenly have all these… these… violent urges!
That is the next arc. Saint Haell adapts to having become a demon.
Comments
Maou Razonica
I'm not sure there is one. Or well, there *is* and it's common. But that's what mana founts and repositories are for. You're not *supposed* to have your heart produce it, it can't be contained! Maybe I should edit and make Haell check. Tommorow cos I woke up and I should not be awake.
ZephanyZephZeph
Why in the everloving hells isn't she immediately using the mutation +1 on a mana regulaing organ? Like, there is a hormonal imbalance effect your mind, and then there's willingly not taking something designed to fix that problem that you can trust it to do so. Also let's go Moonwash, always by her "gal pal" 's side
