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JaM: Chapter 9
🕑 Added 2022-11-10 03:18:55 +0000 UTCBetter late than never! Jenna discovers something new she can do in Little-space.
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Jenna was sitting in the Maths department lounge, but she could have been on Mars for all that she was aware of her surroundings. Under Jenna’s pen, precisely drawn dots were connected by perfectly straight lines. She was in a perfect Zen moment of concentration on graph theory. Each stroke of the pen lit a fire of understanding in Jenna’s mind. Darkness retreated from those brilliant flames, revealing something beautiful and important. The shape of the theory was still vague, but Jenna was confidant it was there.
Though excitement buzzed in her brain, Jenna kept her deliberate pace, refusing to overwhelm herself. The breakthrough would come, it was only a matter of time and concentration. A rumble intruded on her consciousness, resulting in a line that wobbled from point to point. The flame that line lit was barely a candle, sputtering and dim. She took a breath and raised her pen again.
“I said, Ms. Michalski, I hope you’re ready for your midterms. I’d hate to see you wasting time on doodles if you have real work to do.” Dr. Hodge loomed over Jenna, his lean face as sour as ever. He had a terrible gropey energy to his long limbs that made ice in Jenna’s chest whenever he got near her.
In focusing on the Dean of the Maths department, Jenna lost all her lights. The beautiful construct in her mind foundered in darkness and broke apart, vanishing before she’d been able to understand it. While there was still fear in her gut at being cornered by Dr. Hodge, Jenna’s irritation was even more profound.
Sarcastic anger animated Jenna’s tongue before she could consider her words. “I’m sorry Dr. Hodge, I didn’t realize you were speaking to me. I know you hate it when someone is interrupted while they’re working.”
Dr. Hodge’s face went gray and rigid. His right arm flexed, pulling a fist out of his pocket. Jenna’s heart fluttered in distress. As mild and fair as her words had been, she deeply regretted them. Jenna was paralyzed between twin impulses to raise a hand to defend her face, and her terror at making a scene.
“I’m sure he was just expressing pedagogical concern, right Daniel?” Dr. Sienna stepped up next to Dr. Hodge, bracing her hip firmly against the table Jenna was sitting at and putting herself almost between Jenna and the Dean.
Dr. Hodge turned a dire look on Dr. Sienna, but his fist relaxed immediately. Moments later, his face settled into a condescending smile. “Of course. Ms. Michalski is one of our top students. I simply want her to succeed.”
“I think everyone in the department feels that way. She’s already contributed to our reputation.” Dr. Sienna’s smile didn’t touch a single muscle around her eyes.
“Great to get that sorted,” Dr. Hodge said, his voice dripping acid. “I should get back to my corner office. I need to prepare for my symposium keynote.”
“Oh that’s right! The Sanderberg conference. You know, I was completely unaware of it before you mentioned you’d been invited to speak. It’s wonderful to have a Dean who’s reputation reaches into even obscure conferences.”
Though Dr. Hodge’s smile never wavered, the heat of his glare could have boiled lead. With a curt thanks, he turned on his heel and left the lounge. Dr. Sienna took a moment to smooth her no-nonsense hair bob and sit against the edge of the table. Jenna’s heart was still pounding from the exchange, she could taste acid in her throat.
“Are you alright, Jenna?” Dr. Sienna had composed her face. She squeezed Jenna’s arm with a hand that was barely shaking.
“I’m fine, thanks. You know, maybe I shouldn’t come to the maths lounge. There will be plenty of time to get to know people when I’m in graduate school.”
Dr. Sienna sighed. “Jenna, it’s your decision, of course. But please, don’t let people like Daniel push you out of our profession. If brilliant women like you can’t make academic connections, the Daniels will run the department at every university.”
“That’s a lot to put on me, Dr. Sienna. I didn’t ask to be an agent of social change. I hate politics.”
“You can call me Bridget.” Dr. Sienna, Bridget, sat fully on the table and sighed at Jenna. “I know it’s not fair. It’s not right for me to ask it of you, except that it would be even more wrong for me not to ask. Both for the women that will come after us, and the amazing career that’s ahead of you.”
“I’ll think about it. I’m going to go home for today though.”
“I don’t blame you. You look a little green around the gills. I’m sorry, Jenna. I wish I could do more. If I had video of that interaction, I’d take it to the Vice President of the University.”
“What would she do? The video would show him asking me a question and taking his hand out of his pocket.”
“This University is more woman friendly than you think – but you’re right.” Bridget rubbed her temples. “Do you have someone at home who can give you a hug?”
“Yeah. I live with my fiancé, actually.”
“You’re engaged? Congratulations! You’re not planning on starting a family right away though, are you?”
“Well my fiancé is a woman so…”
“Oh. I’m sorry for – managing you. I think this is the most you’ve ever opened up to me. I didn’t even know you were seriously dating. I’m sorry for my reaction. I appreciate you sharing, really. I’m not – good with social norms.”
“Me either. I’m learning how to get better – my fiancé helps a lot with that.”
“You’re a lucky lady.” Bridget’s face showed some downcast emotion, regret, sorrow, or another thing.
Jenna had a sudden vision of Monserrat elbowing her to prompt her to ask about the person she was talking to. “Are you married?”
“I was going to be, once. It didn’t work out.” Regret was easy to read on Bridget’s face that time. Jenna smiled as encouragingly as she could manage. Lingering dread from the Dean’s threatening presence overshadowed her attempt at comfort somewhat.
“Sorry to hear that. Maybe you’ll meet someone else.”
“Maybe. You’re a sweetie for comforting me, especially after this afternoon. Head on home. I’ll see what I can do about getting more witnesses in the lounge when you’re around, alright?” Bridget patted Jenna on the shoulder.
“Thanks. That might help.” Jenna slid her paper and pens into her bag and hesitated for a moment next to Bridget. To her professor’s great surprise, and some of her own, Jenna gave Bridget a quick hug before fleeing the lounge.
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Attempts to recapture the flow she’d had in the lounge at home were useless. Jenna gave up after her third page of shaky graphs. Each attempt at her maths puzzle had her looking over her shoulder for a tall, angry Dean.
With no one else home, there wasn’t much to do. Jenna couldn’t summon the energy to start a new book and settled for getting ahead in her English class instead. The deary literary analysis her professor had assigned was a great medium for suppressing the afternoon’s bad feelings.
Hiding in her room had Jenna dehydrated and lightheaded from hunger. She was slow to respond when Monserrat walked in on her, but bounced out of her chair as soon as she realized who had arrived.
“Monchi!” Jenna threw herself against her fiancé’s indurate abs like an ocean breaker.
“Hello, love. Did you have a rough day?” Monserrat’s athletic arms wrapped around Jenna like a warm, weighted blanket.
“I did a little bit. How did you know?”
“You held on pretty tightly after that bouncy hello. Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s fine now – probably. It’s more Maths department drama, but Bridget – um, Dr. Sienna is helping me.”
“You’re on a first name basis with her now? Look at my darling fiancé, climbing that ladder.”
“Gross, I hate politics.” Jenna stuck her tongue out.
“It’s still early in the evening, but I’m getting some Little vibes from you.” Monserrat stroked Jenna’s hair. “Do you have time to take a break and be Jenny?”
“Oh yes, please.” Jenna felt tension flow out of her in a rush as she snuggled up to Monserrat. She didn’t know if Monserrat or Navi had something in mind for the evening or if it was a spur of the moment suggestion. In the moment, Jenny didn’t much care. She didn’t need to do anything at all as long as Navi was with her.
“Homework got old huh?” Monserrat looked over Jenny’s desk, before picking the petite girl up. Jenny threw her arms around Navi’s neck and rested her head on her caregiver’s shoulder.
“I had a thing I was doing in the lounge before Dr. Hodge got icky. He broke my concentration, and I couldn’t get it back. I was just doing my Lit homework for something to do.”
“You’re such a good girl, Jenny.” Navi radiated comfort and safety. The praise felt luxurious, relaxing Jenny until her earlier fright was an unimportant memory. Navi putting her down on the bed was less than ideal, though. Deprived of her snuggles, Jenny whined at Navi.
Navi only chuckled at Jenny’s whine. “I have to get you properly dressed, Little girl. If I check your panties, am I going to find them clean or dirty?”
“I don’t know.” Jenny shrugged in unconcern.
“You don’t know?” Navi raised her eyebrows.
“I’m not in trouble if they’re dirty right? I only get in trouble if I lie about it. I don’t remember how they are, and I don’t care.” Jenny smiled up at Navi. The slight frown on Navi’s face made Jenny realize that her statement sounded a little bratty. Quickly, she added, “You’ll take care of me either way, right?”
Navi’s frown smoothed into a look of adoration. She stroked Jenny’s cheek tenderly. “That’s right, my love. Give me those pants and panties then.”
Without waiting for Jenny to comply, Navi unbuttoned the Little girl’s pants. Jenny lay back and let Navi strip her lower half. There was a Jenna part of her that wanted to peek down and check the panties herself. Her big self wanted to hide her panties too, or at least be ready with arguments if they weren’t pristine.
Jenny’s awareness of her Jenna voice was muted, she sidelined her big-self’s concerns without much effort. It was almost a disappointment to be praised for keeping her underwear clean, in fact. That praise came with a pullup instead of a diaper. Though she was feeling Little enough to prefer the heavier padding, Jenny was in no mood to direct things.
The fuzzy tights that Navi put over Jenny’s pullup made up for the lack of a diaper, especially when Navi added a fuzzy sweater to the ensemble. Finally, she was back in Navi’s lap, burying her face blissfully in her fiancé’s neck. Torn between nuzzling or kissing Navi’s neck, Jenny decided to alternate.
“Is my Little girl feeling frisky?” Navi slid a hand up Jenny’s leg to cup her padded rear.
“Not exactly.” Jenny considered. “I think I could though. I don’t want to choose. I want to do whatever my Navi wants to do.”
“Even if it’s a bit of an experiment?” Navi tilted Jenny’s head up for a tender kiss on the lips.
“Do you want me to use my pullup?” Jenny asked dreamily. In the back of her mind, Jenna was screaming in panic. Having traveled a long way into being Little, Jenny could barely hear her big-self’s freakout.
“You seem awfully calm about suggesting that. Do you want to try it?”
“I dunno.” Jenny shrugged. The warm water down her pullup had been fun, but confusing as well. She was curious about the idea for sure, but not enough to overcome the general passivity that suffused her.
“If you decide you want to, you can go ahead and I’ll take care of you.” Navi kissed Jenny on the forehead. “It’s a different experiment that I have in mind. Can you be a good girl and sit on the floor for me while I get some stuff for you to draw with?”
“Okay!” Jenny slipped obediently off Navi’s lap. Drawing sounded fun, as an excuse to be cute for Navi. She didn’t have any anxiety about her lack of art skills, the more clumsy the drawings were, the more Navi would think they were cute.
Navi wasn’t gone long. Instead of a coloring book and crayons or markers, she had a stack of blank printer paper and two felt pens. Jenny looked at Navi expectantly, hoping she’d be given more direction than a blank page.
“This pen has a fat tip, it’s for drawing dots. This one has a thin tip, you’ll use it to draw lines between the dots.” Navi took the cap off each pen to demonstrate them before setting them on the paper.
“But what am I supposed to draw? An animal or something?”
“Just dots and lines. Any way you want. It doesn’t matter what they look like, as long as you do a lot of them. Can you do that for me, sweetie?”
“Sure, that’s easy.” Jenny picked up the larger pen and scattered a dozen dots across the first blank page. Using the finer pen, she connected them into a wiggly blob, making sure that each dot was connected to only two lines.
There were lots of ways to draw dots and lines. Jenna was an expert on rules for drawing diagrams with them. She’d always found it fun to impose rules on abstract drawings, even before she’d been introduced to graph theory. On a whim, she discarded her blob and began a new sheet with some of the most elementary diagram rules.
Creating simple starburst shapes was effortless and satisfying. In Jenny’s Little state, she recaptured the wonder of the first time she’d explored those diagrams, feeling the pleasure of solving those puzzles anew. On the next page she added a rule to expand her network of dots and lines to more complicated chains of dots that looped back on each other.
While Jenny paused to look at her latest page, Navi pressed something into her hand. It looked like a juice packet, squeezable plastic with a nozzle at the top. Sipping at the nozzle surprised Jenny with applesauce. The uncomplicated sweetness of the apple drew a happy sigh out of the Little girl.
Between sips of applesauce, Jenny drew a scattered grid of dots. She could see Navi at the edge of her vision, radiating safety and comfort as always. The fat pen was too big to easily spin in one hand, but the thin one was well weighted to spin around her thumb. All the while she drank her applesauce and played with the pen, Jenny’s eyes were locked on the paper in front of her. The dots were becoming more real, turning into spheres in her mind’s eye.
After Jenny’s third slurp at the empty packet, Navi gently took the applesauce away and pressed a pacifier to Jenny’s lips. Wrapped in a warm, tight hug, Jenny’s world shrank to the size of her bedroom, with her doted paper at the center and Navi all around her.
With unhesitating certainty, Jenny drew perfectly fluid lines between her dots. In her mind, the spheres linked to each other with delicate crystal rods. Her hand raced across the paper until it was covered in a web of lines, none of them crossing another. It was beautiful, but wrong. Not crossing lines was only one of the rules. The diagram in front of Jenny didn’t follow every rule in her head.
She dotted and webbed another sheet of paper, and another. By the fifth sheet, she was discarding them after drawing only three lines. The spheres in her mind linked up faster than she could connect them on paper, locking into beautiful, but still-incorrect networks.
There was a pile of papers sitting next to Jenny’s stack of blanks when she drew a trio of lines that didn’t send her mental model into a dead end. Reverently, she drew more lines, slowly drawing each one perfectly. Five steps ahead, the spheres in her mind connected, always right, always satisfying. Jenny drew the last line and stared at her creation in awe. It was flawless. There was context to it that belonged to the Jenna part of her, but Jenny was Jenna-enough to know that it was right.
Delighted, she held the paper up to Navi. Her caregiver was sitting nearby with a book in her hands. She looked up right away at Jenny’s drawing and smiled. “The lines are really well done. Are you happy with it?”
“It’s perfect! I did it right!”
Proud satisfaction glowed on Navi’s face. “Is it the thing you were trying earlier?”
“It is, it’s…” Jenny had a moment of vertigo as she let Jenna’s complexity back into her thoughts. Instead of losing Jenny to Jenna, the Little girl felt her big-self’s knowledge within arm’s reach. Her elated eureka moment was something Jenna and Jenny could both encompass and share.
“It’s not just a thing, Navi, it’s a partial proof of Barnette’s Conjecture! It’s perfect and pretty and I have to work out the computations later but it should work to at least four hundred and eighty two dots!”
“Why that number?” Navi tilted her head bemusedly. “I’m a little confused if I have Jenny or Jenna right now.”
“Because it’s two hundred and forty one times two.” Jenny rolled her eyes at Navi’s dumb question. Answering a question that specific was going to take ages because Navi didn’t know the basics yet. There wasn’t time for Jenny to explain the background of the whole conjecture with the urgent discomfort she was feeling between her legs.
A heartbeat later Jenny realized what that discomfort meant, and clapped her hand over her leggings in a panic. “Navi I have to pee!”
Navi giggled. “Jenny for sure then. I didn’t realize you could do maths like that in her headspace.”
“Navi! Help! I’m going to have an accident!” Jenny blinked tears away, pressing as hard as she could on her padded crotch.
“Sorry!” Navi scooped Jenny up and rushed her to the bathroom. “You had me off balance there with combining maths and Jenny.”
Jenny was annoyed enough to want to fire off a snappy reply, but she needed all her concentration to keep from wetting her pullup. Despite her efforts, she worried that she’d leaked a bit. Luckily, Navi didn’t investigate Jenny’s pullup. She had Jenny’s tights and padded underwear around her ankles and the Little girl on the potty before even closing the bathroom door.
It was a double relief for Jenny to relieve herself, soothing her physically and emotionally. Jenna’s anxiety about wetting herself melted away as the pressure in Jenny’s bladder did. Without maths to focus on, her Jenna thoughts faded away again. The Little girl left on the potty was back to uncomplicated happiness.
“All done, Jenny?” Navi asked.
Jenny nodded. “I’m ready to be wiped.”
Navi’s brows shot up, though her surprise was swiftly replaced by a big grin. Jenny relaxed against her caregiver as Navi cleaned her. Instead of having her padded panties pulled back up, Jenny stepped out of them at Navi’s direction.
“I think you may have pottied a little in these, Jenny. We’ll call that my fault for being slow with getting you to the bathroom. Can you wait here while I get you a fresh pair?”
“Isn’t it almost time for my bedtime diaper anyway?” Jenny nuzzled Navi’s chest, clinging to her fiancé’s shirt.
“I don’t think you want me to put you in one on the cold bathroom floor. Are you okay with being taken back to your room with no bottoms on?”
“I’ve seen our girlfriends naked a couple of times. It’d be fair if they saw me.” Jenny thought that made perfect sense. Jenna had some anxious reservations, but the fairness of it mollified her. As usual, Navi had a great read on her girl’s emotions. Without further ado, she picked Jenny up and carried her back to her room.
Lying on her back on a changing blanket, Jenny was treated to Navi taking her top off. Her caregiver’s rippling muscles were gorgeous enough as they were slowly revealed. When Navi’s full breasts bounced free of her bra, Jenny gasped in delight. In short order, Navi was all the way naked and stripping Jenny’s shirt off as they lay together on the bed.
“Do you always play with me when I’m getting diapered so I’ll like diapers more?” Jenny ran her hands idly over Navi’s taut belly.
“Um – kind of. I’m not trying to be manipulative. It’s also just a good time to do it before I cover up a very sexy part of you.”
“I’m glad you do it that way.” Jenny scootched up to kiss Navi on the lips. “I want to like diapers more and more. I already like them a lot.”
“Yeah?” Navi’s voice was hesitant, as was the way she stroked Jenny’s side.
“They’re sexy and safe because of you.” Jenny summoned her golden sunbird into her mind’s eye and pressed her body against Navi’s. “I like it when we make love before bedtime, and it happens a lot now that I’m getting a diaper every night. Can we do it soft and gentle tonight?”
“That sounds wonderful.” Navi brought their lips together, wrapping Jenny in her arms and legs. Safely restrained by her fiancé’s powerful limbs, Jenny arched her body against those bounds to press her softness against Navi.
Beginning with Navi on her back, they took their time. Jenny’s mouth wandered from Navi’s lips to her cheeks and neck, whispering tenderly across soft skin. With every new place she kissed, Jenny slid her body across Navi’s supple curves. Navi’s hands were caressing Jenny with the force of a massage, stroking across her sides and back.
Those hands found Jenny’s rear and thighs, spreading her open to ride Navi’s sturdy thigh. She grew slick as she rocked on Navi’s leg, tracing her hand down her caregiver’s belly to find answering wetness to stroke.
Navi pulled Jenny’s body to her own. They pressed together, damp with sweat and panting. Jenny rocked her button against Navi’s solid muscle while her fingers kept the same pace up and down her lover’s slit.
Soft moans threaded their way between panting breaths. Jenny gasped as Navi gripped her intensely and possessively. Her mouth found Navi’s breasts and her fingers curled inside her caregiver’s sex.
A sustained rumble quivered through Navi’s muscles, her ecstasy taking her in a long cresting wave instead of an explosion. While she was still trembling, Navi picked Jenny up and put her on the changing blanket.
Needy whimpers from Jenny became expectant moans when Navi lifted Jenny’s legs and buried her strong jaw where they met. Delicate strokes of Navi’s tongue finished what Jenny’s slow pulse against Navi’s leg had started.
A shock like a wind gust broke over Jenny as she clawed at the changing blanket. Navi’s strong thumb slid across Jenny’s wetness and pressed briefly against her ring. The contact was so intimately transgressive that it stole Jenny’s breath for another shuddering climax.
The two of them came together for delightful cuddles, neither of them counting the time. When cold air was finally able to intrude on their glowing skin, Navi put Jenny back on the changing blanket. She lifted the Little girl’s ankles to wipe her clean.
It was such an echo of minutes ago when Navi had tasted her, that even Jenny had to blush. She put the warmth of that blush with the rest of the dirty, wonderful things Navi had done to her in their ABDL play.
Padded, pajamaed, and in Navi’s arms, Jenny let out a satiated sigh. “How did you know I’d be able to solve the problem when I was in a Little mindset?”
“I didn’t. The attempts you had on your desk had an agitated look. I only thought that it’d help you relax for trying again later.”
“It was incredible. I was able to concentrate so much I forgot about everything else. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Navi sighed happily. “I’m so proud to be with you.”
“Proud?”
“I know you have anxiety about our sex life, but you’re fairly fearless when it comes down to it. You’re brilliant, like actually a genius. I love you so much, and you love me back. I feel like I won the jackpot, Jenny-bear.”
Jenny closed her eyes, her golden bird soaring far above the clouds until they were a mere smear of white below her. She was closer than ever to Navi’s sun, blazing in her own golden light to answer her fiancé’s radiance. The whole universe stretched out before them, endlessly full of joyful futures.
“My words aren’t good like yours – me too. You’re my everything.”
“I have something to ask.” Navi pulled a blanket over them and settled Jenny against her chest. “Part of the reason I didn’t take you to the bathroom right away is because I thought you were trying to have an accident as part of the game. You’ve been flirting with the idea, but how do you actually feel about it?”
“Did it turn you on?”
“That’s – that shouldn’t matter for your answer.”
“Of course it should. I like doing things that turn you on.” Jenny nuzzled the underside of Navi’s breasts. “Like when I found out you like being touched right here…”
“Don’t you start again, I have another early morning.” Navi pulled Jenny up to place her head firmly on Navi’s shoulder. Jenny giggled.
“Please answer. Was it a sexy idea?”
“It was.”
“I think I can do it for you someday. I’m not sure when. It’ll probably be a surprise for both of us.” Jenny giggled again. “Maybe I’ll do more maths when I’m Little and end up having an accident. It was close today.”
“Just thinking about that used to hurt you. Is it okay now? You seem relaxed.”
“I’m trying not to think about specifics.” Jenny said, shooing Jenna’s anxieties away. “If I let myself think about it, I still get scared and grossed out. I’m working on the second one. For the first one – I didn’t know how safe I could feel until there was Navi.”
“Now you’re trying to make me cry before bed?” Navi’s arms closed around Jenny, pressing the breath out of her.
“Oof! I need to sleep with you tonight. Please?”
“Of course. I wasn’t going to let you go.”
“Never let me go.”
“Never.”
Comments
Very true. Sometimes punishments are just part of the “game” played between Littles and their Caregivers.
That’s how all the best punishments start - oh no, please no, not thatttttt. Then next day they kill the cat move - stare you in the eyes and knock the lamp off the table. Lmao
That’s a good way to do it. Start it out as punishment then Jenny comes to enjoy it.
It may have to start as a punishment. Jenna has pretty extreme physical reactions to even talking about wetting. That could add a fun layer of embarrassment later, when Jenna has to admit it's not a punishment anymore.
If there's one turn-on my readers have in common besides diapers, it's edging. :D If I had any doubts about that, the scene of Jenna watching her girlfriends have sex made it super clear. <3
I was fully expecting it, but I’m loving the edging that you’re doing with us all in this story. You know what we all want, and you keep teasing and inching in that direction, and then, nope, not quite yet 😇 it’s torture, but the best kind 🙈
She should just try it to see how she likes it. She sorta liked the warm water in her diaper. Maybe she will like it. However if she doesn’t like it at all or not very much Monchi can use it as a punishment. Restriction or denial of potty privileges can be cool.
She's very ambivalent about it. Wants to do it for Monchi, but is afraid of what it'll be like.
Guess we will find out. I enjoyed reading about her near accident but surprised since she ask Navi if she had to use to when she put her Pull Up on.
Jenna can for sure see the advantages of handing stuff off to her Little self. <3
Jenny almost ended up with the not interrupting her flow to pee part. Will her love of solving maths problems overcome her anxiety at wetting? :D
Paul Bennett
Too cute, in a delightfully good way.
This was so cute! I’ve actually taken this approach before - if a coding project is stressing me out, I’ll lean into my little side and come at it from that direction - pad up in an extra thick dip, soft onesie, sippy cup, paci, stuffies for backup. Im also much better at naming things in littlespace 😇 and I don’t have to interrupt my flow to pee! Thanks for the chapter! 🖤🖤
Good Chapter. I had a feeling when Jenny came out she would help Jenna figure out her problem. Jenny is becoming more and more prevalent each time she comes out to play.
