SolSombraYSoldados
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JaM: Chapter 13
🕑 Added 2023-01-04 17:00:03 +0000 UTCWe're one chapter away from the end of volume 2! There's plot happening and stuff. Also, I think we can all agree with Jenna's last thought in the chapter.
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“Wake up, Little girl.” Niusha’s face came into focus as Jenny blinked away the gummy feeling in her eyes. The halo in Jenny’s vision surrounded Niusha in a soft glow, as if she were decorated in silver. Navi is the sun and Usha can be the moon. She keeps me safe when the my sun is away.
A tremendous yawn blurred Jenny’s vision – when Niusha came back into focus, she was just a babysitter again. “Morning, Usha.”
“Looks like I have Jenny this morning. Usha is my Jenny-only name, isn’t it?” Niusha slid a hand under the covers and stroked Jenny’s side. The touch was comforting, rather than sexy.
Jenny clutched at Niusha’s shirt, her hands still weak from sleep. “Yes, only Jenny calls you that.” She giggled. “Jenna would be so embarrassed.”
“It doesn’t take much to embarrass Jenna. How about Jenny?” Niusha slid her hand further under the covers and slipped her fingers under the waistband of Jenny’s pajamas and diaper both.
“Usha, what are you…”
“Look at you with a dry diaper in the morning! Good girl.”
“Usha!” Jenny blushed and curled away from Niusha’s hand, winding herself into a blanket cocoon.
“Looks like Jenny gets embarrassed too, though it took a big thing. I know I’d be embarrassed to have people know I was wearing diapers, and even more if they checked my diapers.” Niusha peeled open part of Jenny’s cocoon and stroked the Little girl’s back.
“It’s no fair teasing me so much when I’m not really awake.”
“Sure it is. Teasing you is turning into one of my favorite things.” Niusha rolled Jenny onto her back and kissed her forehead. “Did you sleep well, sweetie?”
“I did. Wachel was really good with putting me to bed.” A thought penetrated the sleepy fog in Jenny’s brain, prompting her to frown and sit up. “Did Navi get to sleep okay?”
“She did. I put her to bed.”
“But she’s the babysitter.”
“I didn’t send her to bed like Little girl, I made love to her and held her until she fell asleep.” Niusha brushed Jenny’s hair behind her ears.
Jenny blushed and bit her lip. Scrunching down in bed and looking at Niusha through her lashes proved to be enough of an invitation for her girlfriend to lean in for a kiss. Jenny wasn’t sure if she’d intended to invite anything, but she relaxed happily into the kiss. Excited tingles raced across her lips and cheeks when Niusha deepened the kiss enough to tangle their tongues.
“You give the sweetest kisses.” Niusha stroked Jenny’s neck and shoulder, exposing her collarbone in her loose pajama top. “How much do you want to do with me? Not necessarily this morning, but in general. If it’s too early for a heavy discussion, that’s okay too.”
“I’m not sure. Jenna wants – the other day she wanted to lie down on the dining room table for you.” Jenny squirmed with excitement to see Niusha’s eyes dilate and hear her girlfriend’s breath catch in her throat.
“I would have liked that a lot. What about Jenny? What does the Little version of my new girlfriend want?”
“I like it when you take care of me. As far as my limits for sexy stuff, I don’t know. I liked that kiss, and I like trying things with you.”
“I like taking care of you.”
“Thank you for taking care of Navi last night but – Usha, I need your help. Navi’s burning out.”
“You’re right, she’s doing too much. Do you have a suggestion to help?”
“Navi and I talked about having me Little for a whole weekend – it could be this weekend. But it won’t work if she’s already taken a job. Sometimes she has two or three jobs on a weekend.”
“I know how we can find out.” Niusha pulled her phone out of her back pocket and dialed. “Hi, Lyssa? Yeah, good morning. I know it’s early but I’m babysitting Jenny and a question came up.”
Bringing Clarissa into the conversation made Jenny squirm. When she did, she realized she had more reason for being antsy than simply being bashful. The more she woke up, the more her body was letting her know that she needed to potty.
“Can you check Monchi’s schedule on that app you’re both on? If you can block her whole weekend, will you please?” Niusha smiled down at Jenny. The Little girl’s tug at Niusha’s shirt and her pleading eyes were answered with a mere head-pat.
“No? Oh, but you can request the whole time? Yeah, do that, please. She’ll have to talk to us before she schedules anything. Hmm? It’s because Jenny’s going to be Little all weekend. Of course you can. The more the merrier. Great! See you tomorrow night.”
“What did you arrange?” Jenny pouted at Usha. It sounded to Jenny like decisions had been made at the end of the phone conversation.
“Don’t worry about it sweetie. I’m coordinating with your other babysitters.” Niusha kissed Jenny as her mouth was opening in protest and rose to her feet. “You look like you’re doing a potty dance. Come on, let’s go to the bathroom.”
Even Navi had rarely handled Jenny so deftly. She took Niusha’s hand and followed her babysitter to the bathroom, feeling very Little indeed. The spell was complete enough that Jenny was only slightly embarrassed to be put on the potty and do her morning business in front of Niusha.
Hearing Niusha say, “Let’s get you into the shower,” revived Jenny’s blush. As Niusha guided her in and out of the water, scrubbed her down, and rinsed her off – Jenny wasn’t sure how to respond. Defaulting to being pliant for her babysitter carried Jenny through to being toweled down by Niusha.
From there it was easy to keep the morning’s momentum going. Between Niusha and Rachel, Jenny didn’t have to do any of her morning prep on her own. At the door, both girlfriends helped Jenny into her coat and backpack, trading her back and forth for kisses. A double-pullup-check served as a farewell from Jenny’s babysitters.
It was a good thing she’d been sent out the door early, because Jenna spent her entire walk to school as Jenny. Her brain was still a bit fuzzy in her English Lit class, though that wasn’t the end of the world. No one could expect Jenna to take the Humanities seriously.
Between her first and second classes, Jenna had exciting and disappointing news come in on the heels of each other. The disappointing news was that there would be no Monchi at lunch time. Her volleyball coach had commandeered the time for the previous night’s missed meeting.
Jenna mere minutes to be sad about missing her fiancé, when Dr. Sienna messaged her about demonstrating her work on Barnette’s Conjecture. Jenna was equal parts thrilled and terrified – setting in the end on hoping the audience would be a small one.
~~~~*~~~~
As Jenna and Dr. Sienna entered the Maths department lounge, Jenna wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. Her audience was three graduate students and two undergraduates – enough people to put Jenna on the edge of panic. The other students’ stares were eager and solicitous, but they were still stares.
Jenna’s panic must have been evident to her advisor, because Dr. Sienna had relented on making her advisee use the whiteboard to explain her result. Instead, the students gathered intimately around Jenna while she sketched out her proof on paper. It was the third time she’d carefully written out her proof for demonstration – she filled her notebook pages quickly. As she finished each sheet, Jenna tore it out of the notebook and passed it to her left.
By the third page, the graduate students had their heads together, whispering excitedly at each other over the pages. They passed the first page to the undergrads, who looked up at Jenna with uncertainty.
“The sub-graphs you see on that first paper are like building blocks.” Jenna paused in her writing to trace her finger across the first page’s diagrams. “If you can prove that each of those graphs meets the criteria from Barnette’s Conjecture, and that all larger graphs are made of only those pieces, then the whole gets proved.”
“And you did that?” One of the undergrads, a waif-like Latina with coke-bottle lenses in her glasses stared bug-eyed at Jenna. Nervously, Jenna distracted herself from the stare by imagining the girl as an actual frog.
“Not yet.” Jenna shrugged.
“What she did is find a human proof that takes the problem way past what a computer was able to search. A computational result got up to 86 nodes with no counterexamples, and that took serious mainframe time. Jenna’s proof goes to 482 nodes, no computer required.”
“This is going to be another great result for you, Jenna, and the ABDU Maths department,” Dr. Sienna chimed in, proudly.
“Thanks, Bridget.” Jenna beamed up at her advisor.
“What’s another great result, addressing her professors familiarly?” Dr. Hodge strode across the room, his lip already curled into a sneer.
“Dr. Sienna said I could…” Jenna trailed off in shock as Bridget tore the top page out of her notebook and carried it to the Dean.
“HERE’s the great result, Daniel. Do you see that? It’s a preview of Jenna’s Fields Medal.” Dr. Sienna waved the notebook page in Dr. Hodge’s face until he snatched it away from her.
The room went silent as Dr. Hodge read the page. He stormed over to the table and grabbed the other pages, spreading them out in front of him. Jenna sat frozen while the Maths Dean’s face flushed and his sneer became a snarl.
“This is incomplete…” Dr. Hodge’s mouth dropped open in shock when Dr. Sienna interrupted him with a loud “Hah!”
“Of course it’s incomplete, Daniel, Jenna’s demonstrating for these students. I have a complete copy in my office. I’ve read it five times. Jenna’s proof doesn’t prove Barnette’s Conjecture, but with some more work, her method is a very promising avenue to closing that problem.”
“She’ll never solve it. Undergraduates don’t solve longstanding open mathematics problems. As with any callow mathematician, it’s easy for them to believe they found something everyone else missed.” Dr. Hodge glared hatefully at Dr. Sienna. Bridget glared back just as intently, a triumphant smile on her face. It was the Dean who broke first, turning on his heel and stumping angrily out of the lounge.
~~~~*~~~~
Brooke’s apartment was a tiny studio on the edge of campus, with a leaky window and floors that creaked like a the groans of a hundred ghosts every time someone crossed the room. It was far too expensive for its size – a fact Brooke never failed to mention when Jenna visited – and it had a working kitchen in only the most technical sense of the word.
The apartment’s tenant and chief detractor was sitting on the floor across from Jenna with a smile on her face. She was a few inches taller than Jenna, though that still left her on the short side of average. With long black hair perpetually in some sort of braid and fashion sense she actually utilized, Jenna thought of her best friend as “the hot one”. Certainly – other than Monserrat’s notable exception – when people crossed a room to talk to Jenna and her friend, they addressed Brooke.
The studio apartment also contained a puppy, who was wiggling excitedly in Jenna’s arms as she sat cross legged on Brooke’s floor. A pet-friendly lease transcended all the apartment’s downsides and made it the rival of Jenna’s creaky old house. Equal parts delighted and horrified, Jenna squealed as the tiny brown doggie strained to lick every part of her face.
“Bowser, no, no licking!” Brooke’s indulgent tone had no effect whatsoever on the puppy. She put her hands on her hips and sighed, before reaching over to pluck the wiggly beast out of Jenna’s lap. Bowser wasted no time trying to lick Brooke – until she put a soft rope in his mouth. Without skipping a beat, Bowser switched to gnawing on the rope.
“Thanks, I wasn’t sure how to make the licking stop.” Jenna chuckled and rubbed her face with her t-shirt.
“It never stops.” Brooke chuckled. “Did puppy therapy help?”
“Yeah, all the gross Dr. Hodge feelings are gone. All that’s left is the icky memory.”
“I can’t believe how much he’s harassing you. Why’s he on your case so much anyway?”
Jenna gave an exaggerated shrug. “I don’t know. I turned him down as an advisor? He hates women? He has a feud with Bridget? Pick one.”
“D, all of the above.” Brooke set Bowser loose on the floor. He scrabbled across the hardwood floor, flattening as he approached the couch and sliding under it with his rope. “It’s cool that your advisor is finding lots of opportunities for you though. Heck, it’s cool that you have an advisor at all.”
“It’s not always cool. Sometimes I feel like I’m just a way for her to score points on the Dean.”
“I hope not.” Brooke smiled encouragingly at Jenna. “Topic switch! I can’t wait one more second to ask – you’re getting married?!”
Jenna smiled and wrapped her arms around herself, which provoked Brooke into lurching over for a hug. “It feels like a dream sometimes – other times it feels like solving a proof. Like we were always married and we’re only realizing it now.”
“That is so exciting! Can I be your maid of honor?”
“Well we’re not really doing a wedding just yet. We’re going to sign papers with witnesses. Monchi gets a witness and – I was hoping you’d be mine.”
“Oh my god are you kidding!? Of course I will!” Brooke laughed giddily and squeezed the breath out of Jenna in her enthusiasm.
“Oof!” Jenna squirmed out of the hug and scooted a foot away to give herself some hug-safety. “Thanks. I’m kind of worried about what my parents are going to say, but I have to do this. There’s no universe where not being married to Monchi makes sense.”
“You’re the softest romantic ever. I bet nobody in the maths department has any idea what a total marshmallow you are.” Brooke beamed at Jenna.
“If they knew half the stuff that Monchi and I do…”
“What was that stuff again?” Brooke smirked at Jenna’s blush. “Come on, we haven’t hung out for ages. You’ve been teasing me with a conversation about your love life over text for way too long.”
“It’s about my sex life – kinda?”
“Dish! Help your single bestie live vicariously through all your hot polycule antics.”
“I uh – don’t think you’d want to do some of the stuff Monchi and I do. It’s weird. Weird enough that I didn’t want to talk about it over text.”
Jenna felt a nervous flutter in her belly, as clammy sweat broke out across her arms. Nevertheless, she was determined to share her secret with Brooke. Not only was Brooke the third most important person in her life – below Niusha but narrowly surpassing Rachel – but she wasn’t one of Jenny’s babysitters. Trying to talk to her girlfriends about being Little always lead to feeling Little – which in turn lead to the discussion being abandoned.
“You’ve warned me about how weird it is like fifty times.” Brooke rolled her eyes. “Jenna, bestie, at this point I won’t be shocked if it involves corpses.”
“Ew, disgusting!” Jenna stuck her tongue out, briefly gagging. “You know I can’t help – picturing stuff.”
“Sorry, sorry! Tell me your thing though, really.”
“It’s…” Jenna took a deep breath, gazing at Brooke. In Jenna’s mind’s eye, her best friend was crowned in diamonds, for Brooke’s importance in her life. Putting her trust in that deep relationship, Jenna took the plunge. “It’s diapers. I wear diapers – Monchi puts them on me. I pretend to be Little – um, I act like a young girl, but still an adult kind of.”
“Okay.” Brooke was taking a moment to process Jenna’s statement, but she didn’t look upset or disgusted. “That’s weirder than furry, but I can rock with it. I’m glad it’s not some hardcore degradation BDSM thing. I always get a Super Dom vibe from Monserrat.”
“We tried a little BDSM – I guess you remember me telling you that, and this has some similarities.” Jenna smiled. “It feels like the opposite, though. The way we play is so soft and loving. Monchi and I been doing it a lot and we both love it – but I’ve kind of hit a block. I wanted to ask your advice.”
“I don’t have any experience with uh – diaper play?” Brooke looked at Jenny curiously
“ABDL. Adult baby diaper lover,” Jenna offered.
“Huh, okay, yeah. Anyway, I don’t have any experience with ABDL. I don’t know how to help.”
“You’re really confidant with dating. Whenever we talk about your stuff – you always know what you want and go after it.”
“I’m having a good time but I’m still single. I’m confidant with fucking.” Brooke chuckled to see Jenna blush at the crude word. “The second thing you said is right though. I can usually communicate what I want and need.”
“There’s a thing Monchi wants me to do – and I want to do it for her, but I can’t.” Jenna blushed, wrapping her arms around herself when Brooke motioned for her to continue. “U-using my diapers. P-p-peeing in them.”
“You’re not already…” Brooke smirked as Jenna disappeared behind her hands. “Clearly not, then. I thought that’d be part of the whole thing. The point of it even.”
“It is for a lot of people. I get grossed out – and scared.”
“Scared of pee?”
“Scared that – that Na- that someone will think I’m bad.”
“Someone? If you’re talking about Monserrat – your insanely devoted girlfriend and soon to be wife – I think you’re mistaken.”
“I know she wouldn’t, intellectually but…” Jenna trailed off, her eyes tracing the dents and scuffs in the apartment’s old hardwood floor. The idea of Navi rejecting her for using her diapers was ludicrous. Applying the same thought to Niusha or Rachel was almost as absurd. Even Clarissa – new though she was to the group, didn’t seem like a threat.
“Jenna – is it you that you’re worried about judgement from?” Brooke put a gentle hand on Jenna’s knee.
Jenna looked at her friend’s hand, her gaze traveling up her friend’s arm to Brooke’s face. Like a mathematical lemma that provided a rule to fill out a proof, Brooke’s words clicked into place. “H-how did you know? I didn’t know, until you said that.”
“We’ve been friends since preschool playdates. No one has ever judged my best friend more harshly than she has judged herself. That includes the stinky maths dean too!!”
“What do I do to fix it? I want to be perfect for Monchi.”
“Well perfect doesn’t exist outside of maths and imagination so don’t worry about that.”
“Brooke, come on. I’m seriously asking.”
“I don’t know hon, I don’t judge myself like you do.” Brooke wrapped her braid around her hand while she considered. “I guess I’d try one of two things. A spur of the moment jump into cold water, or giving yourself no choice.”
“I – maybe I could do the second one. I’ve had some close calls.”
“Is it okay if I ask what you like about this?” Brooke’s expression was curious and kind. Jenna was grateful to her diamond-crowned bestie for being worthy of her trust.
“Being taken care of like a kid is magical, especially because I’m still an adult, really. I mean, Monchi and I still – we um do the – you know…”
Jenna stuck her tongue out at Brooke, who was smirking behind her hand. “ANYWAY, I don’t have words to describe how the caregiving feels, but I love it. Niusha and Rachel have even gotten into it, now that we’re all girlfriends.”
“How does that work? I’ve never been part of a polycule, but it’s always sounded like a lot of sex. If you’re doing your ABDL play thing with three people, how often do you play?”
“It’s getting to be almost lifestyle – which Monchi and I talked about. N-Monchi puts me to bed in a diaper every night, and now U-Niusha is babysitting me in the mornings.”
Jenna scratched her head at Brooke’s curious expression. “Uh, she gets me ready for the day and picks my outfit, she’s been sending me to school in a pullup.”
“Wait – what’s a pullup? Like toddlers wear? Are you wearing one right now?”
Jenna unbuttoned her jeans with trembling hands and peeled the fly open enough to reveal the purple waistband of her pullup. “Y-yeah.”
“That’s cute! I was thinking old lady diapers, but those are kid ones – sized up. Are the diapers the same way?”
“Monchi has a job where she takes care of ABDL girls, and so she has a whole bunch of different kinds of diapers.” Jenna ducked down until she was almost curled up on the floor. “I like the ones with the ponies the best.”
“I think I can see what your girlfriends like about this. You’re always cute, but talking about this is making you exponentially cute. Is this what you’re like when you’re – uh – what’s the word?”
“Little.” Jenna shrugged. “I think I’m – like what you commented on, but more. I don’t think I can do it now, so don’t ask.”
“I wasn’t going to ask. I’ve never thought of myself as a caregiver for you, so it’d be weird.” Brooke tossed her braid behind her back and raised her eyebrows. “Huh, I’d be interested in seeing you with Monchi, though.”
“Navi,” Jenna said softly. “My name for her when I’m Little is Navi. Like her last name, Navarrete, but how a kid would mess up the pronunciation.”
“That’s awesome, now I really want to see it.” A soft whuff sound drew Brooke’s gaze over Jenna’s shoulder. “Bowser’s awake.”
“He fell asleep under there?”
“Every time. He’s like a budgie. It’s dark under the couch and he naps.” Brooke giggled and Jenna joined her.
“Here Bowser! Come here Bow-bow!” Jenna snapped her fingers at the couch. A chocolate colored streak shot out from under the couch, hitting Jenna’s lap with all its wiggly force. She laughed and patted the puppy as best she could, though the sheer intensity of his hyperactivity made her hands miss more often than not.
“I’m so glad he loves you.” Brooke smiled fondly. “He’s going to be my buddy for a long time.”
“It’s too bad he has to grow up, he’s so cute this – augh!” A growing wet splotch on Jenna’s thigh gave her the focus to grab Bowser and hold him off to the side. The little brown puppy stared at Jenna in adoration as he hung in the air, piddling on the hardwood.
“Oh shoot, I thought taking him for a walk before you got here would have prevented that. I’ve got him, Jenna.”
While Brooke hurried Bowser to the puppy pads in the corner, Jenna fled to the bathroom. A washcloth soaked in water and soap transformed the small, smelly wet spot into a large lemony wet spot. With the smell of Bowser’s accident gone, Jenna was able to pretend that her pant leg was clean.
“You okay in there?” Brooke leaned on the bathroom doorframe. “Sorry again about the puppy-piddle.”
“It’s okay, Bowser can’t help it.”
Brooke chuckled. “You know, you’ve got even less excuse now.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve had puppy pee on you. It’s not the end of the world, is it? Using a diaper should seem like no big deal now.” Brooke’s self-satisfied smirk made Jenna roll her eyes.
“I don’t think it works that way – Ugh. Maybe. Shut up.”
“Honestly Jenna, you need to get over yourself a little.”
Brook nodded firmly at Jenna’s incredulous expression. “Someday Monchi is going to get really sick and you’ll have to deal with her barf, or worse. You’ll get a pet and have to house-train it. Pee happens.”
Jenna laughed and wrapped her arms around Brooke. “This is what I come to you for.”
“Brutal honesty?”
“Yes. From somebody who knows me better than I know me.”
“Likewise, bestie.” Brooke squeezed Jenna gently.
Jenna bonked foreheads with Brooke before slipping out of the hug. The two of them walked back to the living room with Bowser scrabbling excitedly around their feet.
“I’m going to be Little all weekend for Navi – and my other babysitters.” Jenna glanced away as she spoke.
“Sounds intense! You’ll have to tell me how it goes.”
“Aren’t you going to tell me I should – do the thing while we’re having our weekend?”
“It’s up to you, dork.” Brooke scooped Bowser up and flipped him upside down, pacifying the puppy with tummy rubs. “I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, but I’m not in your head.”
“You’re probably right.” Jenna smiled ruefully and picked up her backpack. “I should get home, it’s my night to make dinner.”
“I’m glad you visited! What do you think about me getting to see you being Little sometime? Feel free to say no. I’m super curious to see how you’re different, but I’ll live if I can’t.”
“I think – yes, but not this weekend. I’ll find a good time.” Jenna grinned. “And you have to bring Bowser.”
“No fair, that’ll change the results of the experiment. I bet you’ll be nuts over him when you’re Little.”
“That’s why I want him there.”
Jenna ruffled the puppy’s ears, squeezed Brooke’s arm, and said her goodbyes. All the way home, her thoughts roiled around what Brooke had said, bouncing between imagining herself wetting a diaper and Brooke seeing her Little.
I wish my brain knew what to do with any of this. Before I go Little I could ask Monchi to make me use my diaper – but that might break something. Why can’t people be as straightforward as Hamilton cycles in cubic 3-connected bipartite planar graphs?
Comments
Paul Bennett
Very true.
It could be! At the very least she got some great advice from her bestie.
Paul Bennett
Another cute chapter. Thanks for sharing. I have a feeling that this penultimate chapter laid the ground work for an anxious little to overcome her own insecurities about wetting a diaper. However time will tell.
That works.
Kind of! :D I didn't plan for volumes on JaM at first, but after chapter 6 I decided I wanted this to run as a longer story. From there I decided to cut it into Novella-sized chunks so we'd have some nice story resolutions every 6-8 chapters.
So you are like George Lucas when he wrote Star Wars. He wrote the entire Triology down and then cut it up into 3 movies. You write out a story, cut it into parts, add some things here and there, trim off the edges and presto diaper chango you now have 3 enovels.
Jenna is afraid because she's an anxious bear. :) At all times, Jenna/Jenny has an anxious quality. As for volumes, yes, JaM will get split into pieces for ebook publication. I also want to have some nice arcs that fit within volumes, even if the story is mostly continuous. JaM: Volume 1 ended with chapter 6 (And the marriage proposal). JaM: Volume 2 ends with Chapter 14. (And... you'll see in a couple of weeks!) We may have a break of a few weeks between the end of V2 and the start of V3, as I don't quite have enough of an idea of where I want to go with the next step in Monchi and Jenna's relationship. My new series of one-shots will fill the Wed gap when JaM is on hiatus.
I would agree with Jenna’s last thought if I could understand it. Math is Greek,Latin and Ancient Egyptian all rolled into one for me. I liked the new chapter. I liked the idea that Jenna had to ask Monchi to make her pee her diaper before becoming Jenny. I don’t understand why she is afraid. Using her diaper wouldn’t upset Navi or anyone else in her poly at all. I think Monchi would love to take their Little time to the next level. Excited to see a protagonist emerge and looking forward to seeing what happens next. In your preview you mentioned coming to the end of Vol 2. What did you mean by that? Are you going to be cutting this story in separate books like you did with LSB?
