SolSombraYSoldados
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JaM: Chapter 17
🕑 Added 2023-03-22 17:14:33 +0000 UTCCould Monserrat really have human weaknesses after all?
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Out of the many social situations a person might encounter, an awkward silence was one of the least familiar to Monserrat. That she was sitting at her dining room table with her polycule – the people she most loved in all the world – made the general sense of unease all the more bizarre. That was the problem with always being the most dominant person around. When Monserrat was the one feeling uncertain, the rest of the group followed along just as they did when she was in control. And I do feel uncertain. I was jealous, and I’m still prone to feeling that way. Jealousy was an emotion for people who couldn’t have it all – or so Monserrat had once thought. That opinion sounded unbearably young to her now, becoming more embarrassing when she’d realized that she was likely at the beginning of her current stage of emotional growth.
If her ideas and emotional needs were likely to change, what business did she have getting married, or entering into a lifestyle kink arrangement? What made her any more qualified to be the guiding voice of her polycule than anyone else – especially Niusha, who seemed a lot more stable than Monserrat recently. Normally, Monchi would be the one setting the tone and agenda for a polycule meeting, but every opener she’d rehearsed in her head was either lame, problematic, or both.
“I call this meeting of the Babysitter’s Club to order!” Clarissa broke the silence with a joke, which broke the tension as a general chuckle went around the table. Monserrat’s newest lover and polycule member was seated close to Rachel – and almost certainly getting handsy under the table. As soon as Clarissa had gone through the door she’d shucked her shirt, complaining about being overheated from volleyball practice. Considering it was a fifteen minute drive from campus, Monserrat thought the source of Clarissa’s heat was more likely the girl sitting next to her.
Rachel’s laugh was accompanied by a squirm. Like Clarissa, she was making no attempt to behave. Most of her attention was focused on Clarissa’s sports bra, specifically, the bit of cleavage it showed. Though she’d started the day in an ultra-comfortable sweatsuit, she’d changed into a crop top and a pair of spandex shorts for the meeting.
Niusha, sitting next to Jenna, was already getting out of her chair. No doubt she was intending to gently corral the horny girls on the other side of the table. Ordinarily, running interference like that would be helpful, but everyone’s dynamics with Clarissa were still fluid. Monserrat’s guess was that Niusha would need time to get the other girls under control – and by then the whole meeting would be about fitting Clarissa in, again. It was important work for their group, but not what Monserrat needed from the meeting.
“Clarissa, Rachel, can I ask a favor?” Jenna surprised the table by speaking up. It had to be the first time Jenna had taken the reins at a polycule meeting – even speaking up without being asked a question was unusual for her. Niusha sat back down, and the two lovebirds nodded earnestly at Jenna.
“This meeting is hard for Monserrat. Can you please focus on her for a bit? She needs some extra consideration tonight.” Jenna spoke with clear conviction that Monserrat knew her fiancé had, but hadn’t seen outside of their private moments.
Rachel seemed as caught off guard, making a motion that looked like she was pushing Clarissa’s hand off her leg. “I am sorry – for real. We were screwing around, I didn’t realize Monchi was hesitating.” She turned to Monserrat with concern in her eyes. “What’s up, hon? You never hesitate.”
“I know! That’s only making it worse for me.” Monserrat took a moment to gather her thoughts. Each of her girlfriends waited attentively, Monserrat could feel the love projected through their gazes. With a nod, she launched into a bare-facts version of her concerns. “I got jealous with Niusha over taking care of Jenny. I’m honestly a little lost. Jealousy is something I don’t have a lot of experience with.”
“Can I add something?” Jenna smiled nervously when Monserrat nodded. Though her voice stayed cool, Monchi could see a blotchy blush in Jenna’s cheeks. “There are a couple of things that triggered it, but I think it revolves around how much time Monserrat and I have to spend together. Monchi is super busy, and I – I’ve been trying to cut back on how much time I spend Little.”
The issue had been laid bare by the last person that Monserrat would have expected to be articulate at the table. It was Jenna’s to explain, for certain, but she’d always hinted and asked others to fill in the gaps for her before. Monserrat was torn between pride in her fiancé and a roaring green-eyed monster that’d reared it’s head when Jenna described the pinch they were in. If Jenna’s Little time is limited – I want all of it. I don’t want to share at all. She curled her lip against the nearly literal bad taste in her mouth. What’s wrong with me? Our girlfriends love taking care of Jenny, and she loves the affection she gets from them.
“Is cutting back something you want to do, because you genuinely want to be Little less? Or is it because you had a scare when you had an accident?” Niusha fiddled with her necklace of brass beads, one of her most nervous tells. Another was the little black dress she’d put on for the meeting. The dress was a sign that Niusha wanted to feel desirable, which meant that she was feeling unappreciated or disconnected. Another sign I’m was failing one of my girlfriends.
“I want it too much!” Jenna sighed and rested her head on her folded arms. “It feels like an addiction. The accident was – terrible – but it’s not the root problem. When it happened, I couldn’t emotionally handle the problem on my own. I needed one of you to come rescue me.”
“Jenna, I’m not Little, but if I peed my pants at school I’d call one of my girlfriends.” Rachel reached across the table to squeeze Jenna’s arm. “I did call Monchi once, when I got food poisoning.”
“But if she hadn’t been available you would have been fine.” Jenna looked up at Rachel through teary eyes. “Niusha saw me, I wasn’t fine. I melted down.”
“I don’t know that I would have been fine.” Rachel shrugged. “I would have lived, yeah, but fine? I was really glad Monchi was there.”
“Maybe I’m too new to this to say but – Jenna, didn’t you grow up super independent?” Clarissa smiled reassuringly at Jenna. “Like, your parents let you do whatever as long as you were eating and going to bed on time?”
“You’re saying I need to rely on people more?”
“I think Clarissa means that it’s an option, and it doesn’t mean you have a problem or that you’re incapable if you choose to lean on people.” Niusha stroked Jenna’s back gently.
“We’re getting too far into my issues.” Jenna hid her face in her arms again. “Monserrat is supposed to be the one working stuff out.”
“That was really helpful Jenna, actually.” Monserrat smiled at her fiancé. Plainly, whatever energy Jenna had for speaking up in front of a group had run out. “But we can switch topics. Mostly what I wanted to do today is name my issue – jealousy – and ask for everyone’s help in calling me out on it. Or at least, for you to know so that you understand what’s going on if I’m acting strangely.”
“That’s cool and all, but it doesn’t feel like much of a Monchi solution,” Clarissa said. “How about something more active? Why don’t you, Rachel, and Niusha coordinate caregiving for Jenna together? I’ll be the mediator.”
Monserrat frowned. “Are you sure? That could be stressful for you. You said you didn’t feel solid with the polycule dynamics yet.”
“Exactly.” Clarissa grinned. “Nobody has any unresolved issues with me yet, and it’ll help me learn about how y’all interact together.” Monserrat nodded, impressed. Niusha smiled her agreement as well.
“That’s my smart-sexy new girlfriend,” Rachel said, her hands drawn to Clarissa like a magnet the moment the meeting’s resolution was in sight.
“Thanks babe, but I’m not going to show you any favoritism, no matter how amazing you are at giving head.”
“I’ll have to step up my game then.” Rachel’s eyes twinkled.
“We need to check in with one more person, though. Jenna?” Clarissa gave Jenna a soft, encouraging look. “Is it alright if I mediate for your caregivers – and do you want to be taken care of right now?”
“Yes and yes please.” Jenna sighed wearily.
Fond love bloomed in Monserrat’s heart as Jenna’s expression relaxed in a way that signaled her shift in mindset. In the next moment, a cold wind wilted that flower and sucked the air out of Monserrat's chest when Jenny climbed into Niusha’s lap. Right away, Niusha wrapped her arms around Jenny and tucked the Little girl’s head against her shoulder.
“Ushi, my heart is exhausted.”
“I can see that, sweetie. We’ll take care of you at least until you go to school tomorrow, okay?” Niusha’s look of love as she spoke, had Monserrat’s heart racing. Jealousy – and guilt at her jealousy – tore at each other until she broke out in a cold sweat.
“Monchi,” Clarissa said gently. “Would you please sit next to Niusha and Jenny?”
Moving from one dining chair to the other was dreamlike, as if the body Monserrat was piloting wasn’t her own. The worried expressions on Rachel and Niusha’s faces made Monserrat acutely aware of how powerful and intimidating she could be – and the thought that they would ever think of her that way was heartbreaking. As gently and meekly as possible, Monserrat took a seat next to Niusha, facing half-way between her and the table.
“Do you want to talk about why you’re upset?” Clarissa asked.
No, I don’t. For one thing, the reason for her hurt was total irrational garbage. More importantly, giving voice to her pain would be certain to Jenny like an accusation. Searching Niusha’s gaze, Monserrat had to re-evaluate the concern she saw there. Her girlfriend wasn’t afraid – she was worried. Rachel was watching quietly with similar concern, and intently enough that she’d stopped feeling Clarissa up. Meanwhile, Lyssa was her usual rock-solid self.
Blinking away tears, Monserrat quietly said, “I got hurt when Jenny went straight to Niusha.”
Jenny jerked her head up in anguished surprise. “I hurt you?!”
“No, love.” Monserrat pressed her forehead to Jenny’s. “I hurt me. I have to learn how not to get hurt that way, because it would be worse to take away the beautiful thing I watched you two share.”
The relief on Jenny’s face was an exquisite balm for Monserrat’s broken heart. Not that her admission had resolved the issue, even with the loving acceptance she could palpably feel from her girlfriends. What was important, was that she had a path to walk. If there was anything Monserrat prided herself on, it was being able to make progress toward a goal.
“So – it’s okay if – if…” Jenny wobbled on Niusha’s lap, torn between her fiancé and her girlfriend.
“I need to get you into a diaper and reunite you with Elizabat.” Niusha stroked Jenny’s hair gently. “But you should give Navi a kiss before we go upstairs.”
No matter how passionate the relationship, kisses eventually became routine after enough time. Like holding hands and hugging, kisses left tingling passion and entered the realm of affirmation and comfort eventually. The kiss Jenny gave Navi was had none of that calm familiarity about it. Their lips met tentatively at first, lurching into needy passion that made Monserrat tremble. Lips tingling and heart aflutter, Monserrat gazed in loving awe at Jenny. Her adoration was mirrored in Jenny’s wide eyes.
When Jenny turned to Niusha to be taken upstairs, the ego blow Monserrat took was handily deflected by her euphoria. Though Niusha took Jenny into her arms cautiously, she beamed happily to see Monserrat’s unruffled face. With a blown kiss to Monchi and an arm around Jenny, Niusha guided the Little girl upstairs.
“Thanks Lyssa.” Monserrat smiled at her friend with teary eyes.
“Somebody had to take away your supply of dumb-bitch juice.” Clarissa chuckled.
“Clarissa!” Rachel recoiled in shock.
“Here’s where we all learn more about dynamics.” Monserrat laughed. “Rach, what Lyssa said was more than okay, it was comforting. I’m going to dump all that juice down the sink along with the jealousy pills I was taking.”
“Okay.” Rachel giggled. “Feeling better, love?”
“Some. I have work to do, a lot of it. But this is a good start.”
“Rachel, can you give Monserrat and I a few minutes?” Clarissa leaned in to kiss her girlfriend tenderly.
“Yeah, but you better have time for me before you go home.” Rachel winked as she rose from her chair. “If you leave a wet spot on my shorts and take off we’re going to have some more dynamics to work out.”
“I was going to ask you if I could stay over, brat.” Clarissa grinned and gave Rachel’s butt a hearty slap. “For now, move that ass.” With a moan and her lip caught between her teeth, Rachel scurried out of the room.
As her trademark bombastic personality reasserted itself, Monserrat strode around the table and lifted Clarissa out of her seat for a crushing hug. Her best friend turned girlfriend hugged back just as fiercely, though without quite as much muscle power.
“Do you know how fucking sexy you are when you bust out your conflict resolution skills?” Monserrat gave Clarissa only enough time for a surprised gasp before pinning her to the dining room wall.
“Oh fuck, Monchi, don’t tease me if you’re going to handle me like…” Clarissa’s words became a moan into Monserrat’s mouth as she surrendered to a deep kiss. All the adrenaline in Monserrat’s system needed an outlet – which it found in roughly palming Clarissa’s crotch and back through her leggings and sports bra. Being lifted like a sexy piece of meat had Clarissa moaning like crazy through the kiss that Monserrat saw no reason to end. She kept their lips locked and tongues tangling all the way up to her bedroom, whereupon she threw Clarissa down on her bed.
“I’ve been waiting for this since I joined the polycule.” Clarissa’s voice was thick with lust. “Don’t be gentle.”
“I’m going to wreck your hot body.” Monserrat flung her shirt and sports bra to the floor before pouncing on Clarissa and stripping her of everything. Though it had been a long time – more than a year – since Monserrat had been in bed with Clarissa, her hands found her girlfriend’s favorite places on muscle memory.
The familiar flame of passion that Monserrat had been craving mingled with exciting new sparks. They’d both picked up new tricks since the last time they’d slept together, but the biggest change was Clarissa’s willingness – and desire – to submit. As a bottom, Clarissa was a delight to confidently handle – from the way Monserrat’s teeth pressed against her girlfriend’s skin to the moment where she forced Lyssa onto her hands and knees. A trio of Monserrat’s fingers plunged into Clarissa and drove the first of many involuntary shouts out of the gorgeously curvy girl.
They were snuggled together – resting but certainly not done – when Rachel knocked and opened the bedroom door. “I was SUCH a good girl at the meeting, and getting left out of this is my reward?”
“Get in here.” Monserrat grinned like a predatory cat.
“There’s plenty of room in this bed.” Clarissa motioned to Rachel. “At the bottom.”
“Oh GOD I was hoping one of you would say that.” Rachel climbed into Monserrat’s rumpled bed, squealing with delight as she was summarily stripped naked. With Monserrat pressed against her back and Clarissa sandwiching her in front, Rachel’s eyes rolled back in delight as she became her girlfriends’ plaything.
~~~~*~~~~
Much later, when the sheets had been changed and the three girls had rinsed off in the shower – they were still laying about in Monserrat’s room. Naked snuggles were a superior form of aftercare, in Monserrat’s opinion, and she was glad to see that her girlfriends agreed. She let her hands roam over both girl’s bodies with slow touches that gave comfort instead of inciting anything. As many rounds as they’d all gone together, there was little difference between stroking Rachel’s side or running her fingers through the curly dark hair between Clarissa’s legs. It was the closeness of unrestricted skin on skin that they craved.
A knock on the door drew all three women’s gazes in a synchronized, languid motion. Niusha opened the door, with Jenny tightly clinging to her side. “Navi, Jenny needs you.”
Happiness like a warm bath enveloped Monserrat. She kissed her girlfriends and quickly rose, holding her arms out. Jenny abandoned her grip on Niusha and flew into Monserrat’s arms, pressing her tear-streaked face into Monchi’s bosom.
“Navi, I – I wet my diaper because I thought it would be fun but it wasn’t! I got scared again and – I need you please. Please Navi, I don’t know what to do.”
With calm concern, Monserrat picked Jenny up and held the Little girl to her chest. “I’ve got you, Jenny-bear. Navi’s here.” Right away, Jenny tucked her face against Monserrat’s neck and quieted down.
“Thanks Niusha.” Monserrat bowed her head to give her girlfriend a quick kiss. “I’ll take Jenny to her room.”
“You can join us.” Rachel waved Niusha over. “But we’re a little worn out for anything but snuggles.”
“Snuggles sound wonderful.” Niusha stepped around Monserrat and slid lithely between the naked girls.
As Monserrat carried Jenny out of the room, she heard Clarissa say, “Do you want to talk about taking care of Jenny?”
With her girlfriends in good hands, it was time to get her fiancé in order. She took a seat on Jenny’s bed and kissed her gently, moving from her lips to pepper kisses across her cheeks. After a few minutes of being held, Jenny’s relaxed expression wrinkled into a frown.
“Aren’t you going to change me?”
“Not right away, unless you insist.” Monserrat sat Jenny up on her lap and laced her fingers behind Jenny’s back. “I think you had more to say at the meeting about being Little, but you didn’t get the chance.”
“It was too hard to keep going.” Jenny squirmed, eventually finding what apparently was a comfortable position on Monserrat’s lap. From the squish on Monserrat’s thighs, Jenny’s diaper was the most full it had ever been. Though, there was clearly plenty of capacity left in the padding. “But you’re right, I’m still scared. I fell apart like such a baby as soon as I was in Niusha’s lap. Playing with her was fun, but then I wet and cried for you like a baby.”
“Nobody here is judging you about that. We love taking care of our baby girl.”
“Maybe I’m judging me.” Jenny sighed. “That’s what Brooke said, before our long baby weekend. Shouldn’t I be worried though? Navi, how am I supposed to be a grown up girl if I’m a pants wetting baby?”
“Well, I’m not one hundred percent sure. I’ve met a lot of baby girls now, but I only see them for a few hours at a time.”
Monserrat nuzzled Jenny’s nose. “One of them could turn off being a baby like a switch – but her regular mode was baby. Others are just playing and don’t get as deep into the headspace as you do. Some of the girls do seem like they’re always babies, but I don’t know what they’d be like if they didn’t have a partner that let them be Little all the time.”
“Is that really what you want, really?” Jenny frowned, searching Monserrat’s eyes. “Do you want a baby wife?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, love.” Monserrat smiled fondly. “I’ve never had any kind of wife, and I’ve never had a full time baby. I’d be willing to try, but I’d want to ramp up slowly. What about you?”
“How am I supposed to know?” Jenny whined. “It’s incompatible with being a career mathematician, isn’t it?”
“Maybe.” Monserrat shrugged. “You could just be Little in your home life, or switch it on and off – or find a way to be Little even at work in a way that wouldn’t be disruptive.”
“But that’s crazy, like maybe actually pathological, right?” Jenny grabbed Monserrat’s biceps, staring at her with pleading eyes. “I wouldn’t be able to tell regular friends and co-workers about it. Doesn’t that make it something to be ashamed of?”
“Well, I wouldn’t want Rachel to describe what Clarissa and I just did to her to her coworkers."
"That’s not the same! You can tell your volleyball teammates about your relationship with her, everything except the sexy bits.”
“It might be the same. I could tell people how much I like taking care of you.”
“Maybe. Maybe it’s too much.” Jenny sighed and flopped against Monserrat’s chest.
“How’s your diaper feel?”
“Comfortable I guess.” Jenny sighed. “Is that weird too?”
“Not for me. I mean, some people get down going to church and handling live snakes.”
“That’s weird for sure.” Jenny’s voice was grumpy, but with a playful undertone. Monserrat grinned and tickled her side.
“Navi, staaaaap!” Jenny giggled and squirmed until Monserrat wrapped her up into a little package with her legs pressed against her chest.
“If you were one of my clients I’d say that diaper could take one more wetting before you need a change.”
“You make them sit in wet diapers?”
“I can’t be changing baby girls every time they dribble into their diapers, I’d never get the rest of my babysitting duties done.”
“The rest? Like what?”
“Feeding them, managing their moods, playing with them and keeping the house in order while all that’s happening.”
Jenny nuzzled Monserrat’s chest. “I think – hearing that made me a little jealous. I don’t want you to stop doing your job, but you were brave and told me that you were hurting so – I am too.”
“I love you so much, baby girl. It’s a lot different with you than it is with them.” Monserrat kissed Jenny’s forehead. “I’ve thought about taking you with me on a job for a while now – with you being Little. Is that something you’d be interested in?”
“Like – like a playdate kind of thing?”
“That’s a good word for it. You could see the difference for yourself.”
“Maybe.” Jenny sat up and kissed Monserrat’s lips with drawn-out tenderness. “That’s one I’d have to think about for a while.”
“Take all the time you want. Now, is my baby girl hungry?” Jenny nodded urgently.
Monserrat smiled. “Let’s get you fed, and I’ll change you after.”
“Will you sleep with me tonight?”
“I might have to, the rest of our girlfriends have taken over my bed.” Monserrat laughed and rose with Jenny in her arms.
“Navi, you’re still naked.”
“True. No fried foods tonight then.” She carried her diapered fiancé down the stairs, as the Little girl’s giggles blew happy bubbles all around her heart.
Comments
Paul Bennett
Cute and sexy chapter. I am very happy for this polycule to have such great communication and that they are able to work things out between themselves while being patient with each other.
Another chapter that makes me think monchi is the best caregiver. What I wouldn't give to be in a relationship like that lol.
