SolSombraYSoldados
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JaM: Chapter 15
🕑 Added 2023-02-22 17:01:00 +0000 UTCIt's the start of Volume 3 of JaM, and there's some trouble a brewin'!
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A sudden rain squall had turned Ardenthill’s streets into a treacherous, rainbow-slick mess. Traffic snarled immediately, sending drivers down narrow and unfamiliar streets of the bustling New Hampshire town. Monserrat was one of those drivers, maneuvering her SUV with more spite than focus through eighteenth century street blocks. Anxiety was making her a more aggressive driver than she liked, but her only source of calm was at the end of her journey.
Monserrat laid on her car’s horn and pushed her way through the last big intersection between her and home. The tiny, sidewalk-less streets of Monserrat’s neighborhood were clear of cars. Rush hour though it might be, Monserrat lived in an area almost entirely populated by college students. The bulk of her neighbors were either already home for the day or working a long evening shift.
Escort work made Monserrat different, not only in terms of the time she got home, but with the ostentatious white SUV she’d been able to purchase new. Babysitting for adult babies was an amazing gig, financially. The car was in some ways a frivolous expense, but it was also a quality of life improvement that had been a long time coming. A roomy car not only accommodated Monserrat’s Amazonian physique, but also let her transport her girlfriends in comfort. It’s handy when the volleyball team goes out together too, plus the space makes all the stuff I haul around for the escort jobs manageable.
Unfortunately, her job was consuming Monserrat’s time to the point that she’d failed her own Little girl. Juggling classes, volleyball practice, and a full time job was enough to overwhelm most people. Monserrat had a polycule to spend time with on top of everything else, and a fiancé who needed special attention.
Jenna needed me today and she didn’t call. Monserrat pulled into her driveway and took a moment to compose herself. The ramshackle faux-Victorian house she and her polycule rented was distorted into something out of Wuthering Heights through the rain-spattered windshield. My baby girl knew I was at work taking care of other Little girls and felt like she couldn’t call me. Self pity was never Monserrat’s strong suit. She gave herself a full minute to wallow in her feelings before launching herself out of the car and up her steps.
Monserrat left her shoes and work diaper-bag in the mud room. Stepping into the kitchen, she found Niusha making tea. The Iranian girl was exactly the roommate Monserrat had been hoping to find. Knowing Niusha, she’d been waiting in the kitchen to minimize the amount of time Monserrat would spend fretting.
“Welcome home, love.” Niusha embraced Monserrat and pressed their lips together. It was always a delight to hold Niusha’s lithe, dance-shaped body in her hands. That evening, Monserrat didn’t feel like indulging, pulling away after a mere peck on the lips.
“Where’s Jenna? Is she okay?” Monserrat frowned to receive a cup of tea instead of answers.
“You’re really upset. Take a minute, drink some tea, and we’ll talk. Then you can see her.” Niusha took her own cup and sat at the dining room table. “Jenna can wait a few more minutes if it means you arrive in a good state to comfort her.”
Gentle guidance combined with attentive care was a hallmark of Niusha’s method of comforting someone, it’d been what Monserrat had fallen in love with the girl for in the first place. That evening, Niusha’s concern felt like manipulation and left Monserrat feeling coldly irritated. She drank her cup of tea in a single gulp – heedless of the way it scalded her throat – and took a seat across from Niusha.
“You think I’m upset? Jenna’s so upset she had to call me as soon as I logged out of my babysitting job, plus you felt you have to prep me before I go see her.”
“There’s nothing stopping you from going upstairs right now if you want to add angry energy to her worry.” Niusha took a deliberate sip of her tea. “She’s in her bedroom.”
Why am I so angry? I’m being a bitch to Niusha specifically. What’s going on? Monserrat sighed and shook raindrops off her tight curls. “I’m sorry Niusha – that was confrontational and uncalled for.”
“Thank you.” Niusha smiled. “I know you’re worried, but I’m starting to think there’s something more to it. I’m glad you want to talk.”
“Can we start with Jenna? What happened, exactly? She called me and told me she had an accident at school.”
“First of all, it was a tiny accident. She wet her panties more than her pants. If I hadn’t been told she’d wet herself, I wouldn’t have noticed the spot.” Niusha sighed. “She melted down over it, though. It took me a while to get her to stop crying. Once she did, she withdrew and hardly spoke.”
“Jenna’s such an anxious bear. Did she say what caused her accident?”
“No. When I arrived, she was glad for the rescue and used my babysitter nickname. After she withdrew, she went back to my regular name and didn’t want to engage with anything Little. I offered Jenna her plush bat, but she refused it.” Niusha shook her head. “I didn’t even try to offer her a diaper or pullup after that.”
“I can’t believe she didn’t call me. I would have dropped everything to come get her.”
“Monchi, I was one building away. You were somewhere in town. It would have taken you an extra half hour, assuming you were willing to outright abandon the girl you were babysitting, which I doubt.”
“It shouldn’t have been you! I should have been the one to rescue her.”
Niusha stared at Monserrat for a long time with a slack jaw and parted lips. “Monserrat – you’re jealous.”
“What? That’s absurd. I don’t get jealous. I’m worried that Jenna doesn’t – that she didn’t feel comfortable calling me.”
“I’ve known you for a couple of years, we’ve been dating for most of that. I’m as surprised as you are, because you’ve never been jealous with me before.” Niusha lightly laid her hand on Monserrat’s arm. “Apparently when it comes to your Little girl, you do get jealous. That’s okay, as long as we can talk about it.”
Monserrat stared her girlfriend’s hand, warm and gentle on her arm. Her thoughts roiled in confusion. How can I be jealous? Niusha and I were dating before we brought anyone else in. Neither of them had had a hint of jealousy when Niusha started dating Yadira long-term, though Niusha had been worried that Monserrat would feel replaced. Monserrat had actually replaced Niusha as her primary in the polycule with Jenny, and the transition had gone without a blip. The two of them shared Rachel freely, and Monserrat hadn’t felt a twinge when Niusha and Jenna had finally become intimate.
“I – I don’t understand. It didn’t bother me at all when you and Jenna became physically affectionate. I can think about you sleeping with her right now and it doesn’t bother me.”
“But when you think about the fact that I was there when Jenna was in crisis, that I cleaned her up and got her out of her wet panties, that it was me who bundled her up, brought her home, and made her hot chocolate…”
“Stop!” Monserrat slapped her free hand over her mouth in horror. Oh my god, I am jealous.
Niusha smiled and squeezed Monserrat’s hand. “Oh Monchi, I’m sorry I pushed your buttons there.”
“No it’s, it’s okay, Nishy.” Monserrat returned the squeeze. “Thanks for showing me how I was feeling. I’m sorry for being jealous. It caught me off guard.”
“I’m not surprised, since it’s the first time with me.” Niusha kissed Monserrat’s knuckles gently. “How can we fix this?”
“To be honest, I’d rather answer that after I talk to Jenna. Is that unfair?”
“No, since she’s at the heart of our snarl.” Niusha released Monserrat’s hand, returning to her tea. “You want to see where she’s at before you talk with me about sharing her, don’t you?”
“That’s exactly it.” Monserrat sighed in relief. “Niusha, I love you so much. Are we okay?”
“We’re very okay. This is such minor drama for a polycule that all our queer friends would laugh at us if we told them.”
“I don’t like it. We don’t usually have drama.”
“The only constant in this life, love…”
“Is that things will change. I know.” Monserrat rose from her seat and scooped Niusha out of hers. Holding her girlfriend in a princess carry, she kissed Niusha passionately and long, as she should have when she came home.
“Oh.” Niusha trembled in Monserrat’s sculpted arms, reaching up to cradle the larger woman’s cheek. “Then again, we’ve been missing out on making up. Maybe we should fight just a little.”
“If you start fights to get attention, I will give you a spanking that’ll make Rachel jealous.” Monserrat smirked.
“Nothing you just said made my panties any drier.” Niusha snuggled up to Monserrat for a long moment, sighing happily. “Put me down and go see Jenna. You can top me after she’s sorted out.”
“And after we talk through my jealousy.” Monserrat set Niusha gently on her feet.
“That goes without saying, love.” Niusha patted Monserrat on the rear and sent her up the stairs.
Since they’d become engaged, Monserrat had stopped knocking at Jenna’s door. That evening, the door felt like a bit more of a barrier. In an effort to compromise, Monserrat knocked lightly on Jenna’s door before entering. “Jenna, I’m here.”
The room was illuminated only by the dim yellow bedside lamp. Jenna was huddled in the corner her bed occupied, looking wretched. Her face was tear-streaked, but more than that, she looked genuinely frightened. At five foot three if one was being generous, and with a mathematician’s reedy build, Jenna was always a tiny thing in comparison to Monserrat’s bulky six feet. With her arms around her knees, she looked like the Little girl she and Monserrat liked to pretend that she was.
The only problem with that image was how scrupulously Jenna had avoided anything that might make her Little. Her stuffed bat, Elizabat, was on the far corner of the bed. Jenna was wearing a button up shirt and her nice slacks. Monserrat imagined her fiancé would have made the rare addition of makeup to her look, if crying hadn’t made cosmetics an impossibility.
“Monchi,” Jenna whimpered. “You didn’t come up right away.”
“I’m sorry, my love.” Monserrat took a seat next to Jenna, gratified by the way that her fiancé immediately cleaved to her side. “I was worried about you and the drive home was rough. I needed a minute to calm down so I could do a good job comforting you.”
“So that you could coordinate with Niusha, you mean.” Jenna’s tone was shockingly bitter. “Did you decide that I have to wear diapers to school, or is it just pullups? Is it going to be just baby clothes around the house? Are you going to buy a crib?”
“Woah! Hold on, where’s all this coming from? I talked to Niusha, but it wasn’t about any babysitting stuff at all.” Monserrat put her arms gingerly around Jenna, holding her lightly enough that she could pull away if she chose.
“I had an accident at school!” Jenna wailed. “It wasn’t a joke, or something to tease you about, or an oops with a sneeze that happens. I peed my pants because I wasn’t paying attention and I wasn’t in control of myself.”
“Jenna-bear, honey, I promise you that you’re not the first person – female or male – to wet your pants at ABDU, let alone universities worldwide.”
“You said I’d have to wear pullups or diapers! You said it! If I start having accidents at school, you’re going to make me be – be – be a baby all the time.” Jenna sobbed and sniffled. “Nobody will take me seriously, and why should they? Why should I take myself seriously?”
Monserrat abandoned gentle accommodation for comfort and squeezed Jenna tightly. “Sweetie, that was part of our game. It doesn’t have to be automatic like that. We don’t have to play that you’re Little at all if it’s hurting you.”
“I – knew – you’d – say – that!” Jenna forced her words out between sobs. “If I’m not L-Little we c-can’t get married.”
Merely holding Jenna tightly felt cruelly insufficient. Monserrat gathered her fiancé into her lap and wrapped her arms around the girl. She balled herself up around Jenna with her knees pulled up and her cheek tucked against Jenna’s head.
“First of all, that’s not true. I love you much more than I love ABDL play. I can’t wait to be your wife.”
“But you n-need a Little girl in your life. You s-said so!” Jenna burrowed into Monserrat’s embrace as far as possible while she sobbed.
“You said once that you needed it too, love.”
“I know!” Jenna’s latest wail made her hiccup. She twitched against Monserrat until she managed to get her breathing under control. “That’s the p-problem.”
“Oh Jenna, oh my Jenna-bear. I’d do anything for you, I love you so much!” Monserrat cradled Jenna, rocking her gently. “I don’t know how to fix this though. No matter what, I’m here for you. I’m not letting go of you until we can find a way to at least fix tonight.”
“You can’t fix it.” Jenna sniffled. “Only – only Navi can fix this.”
Navi is my caregiver nickname – but she doesn’t want to be Little. “I don’t understand. You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want to be Little.”
“I want it so bad!” Jenna whimpered. “It’s the only thing I want! Except that I don’t want to want it!”
“This conversation is going really differently than I expected.” Monserrat stroked Jenna’s back gently.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, I can’t stop being upset.”
“Shh, I’m not upset with you. Let me finish, okay?”
“Okay.” Jenna sniffled and wiped her nose along the length of her forearm.
“I thought I was going to be the one apologizing for being upset.” Monserrat smiled as Jenna lifted her head to stare at her incredulously. “That’s right. You see, I got jealous of Niusha.”
“No way. You don’t get jealous.”
“I thought so too. I was wrong. I was jealous that Niusha saved you. That she was there for my Little girl when I wasn’t – when I was out with a different Little girl.”
“H-how did you fix it? With Niusha.”
“I didn’t. We still have to talk. I came to see you instead.”
“But that’s…”
“You’re my primary, Jenna. Niusha respects that. She and I also agreed that before she and I work out the best way to share you – that I needed to see how you were doing. To find out what you need.”
Jenna slumped against Monserrat. “I need Navi. But that’s the wrong thing. I’m relying on it too much. I’m going to become a – a toy or a useless person. You fell in love with Jenna, you won’t love me the same way if I’m Little all the time – if I’m only Jenny.”
“Jenny solved a math problem that Jenna was in too bad a mood to solve herself. We’ve talked about the names we’re using, and we both agree that we’re the same person. There’s nothing in Navi that isn’t in Monserrat. Jenny isn’t missing anything that Jenna has. It’s just a matter of how we’re looking at the world in that moment.”
“Easy for you to say. Monserrat and Navi are both competent, in-charge women. Jenny’s a child. She looks at the world like a child.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” Monserrat took a deep breath, squeezing Jenna on the inhale. “Jenny is more carefree, less anxious, and more willing to rely on others than Jenna usually is – but I’ve seen you do all those things as Jenna. You don’t forget maths when you’re little, or any of your other adult knowledge.”
Jenna closed her eyes, trembling from head to toe. “Worrying keeps me safe. Keeping closed off from people stops bad feelings from happening. Not being independent is – scary.”
“What do you think marriage is, darling?” Monserrat kissed Jenna’s hair. “We’re both going to have to rely on each other, for the rest of our lives. Neither of us will be independent anymore. We’ll be interdependent, instead.”
“Interdependent?” Jenna wrapped her arms around Monserrat’s thick bicep. “What do I do for you?”
“For starters, my whole world apparently falls apart if I can’t take care of you.” Monserrat nuzzled Jenna. “More importantly, you take care of me. Like the night I came home exhausted, and you’d organized everyone to do my chores and had dinner ready. Or the time you blocked my work schedule for a weekend when I was burning out.”
“That’s not the same thing as what you do for me.”
“Of course not. We’re different people.” Monserrat put a hand on Jenna’s chin, compelling her fiancé to meet her eyes. “Jenna –I would have burned myself out without your help. That evening you made dinner, if I’d been on my own I would have collapsed halfway through my calculus homework, without eating probably.”
“But the way you take care of me is so total. I’m your Little girl, you tell me what to do, dress me, change my diapers, you save me when I get in trouble…”
“You don’t think that rescuing me from exhaustion, or correcting my ambition when it gets out of hand is as fundamental?”
“I didn’t think of it that way.” Jenna stared at Monserrat in awe, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. No sobs accompanied them, happiness had taken over Jenna’s tear ducts.
“I love you so much, Jenna. I need you.” Monserrat drew her fiancé in for a long kiss. They clung to each other desperately, while fragments of emotion tumbled from the unused corners of their discussion, inciting shudders or soft sobs.
“I need Navi.” Jenna sighed sadly. “But this isn’t resolved. I don’t know how to be comfortable being Jenny again. You have to talk to Niusha about being jealous.”
“Niusha can wait, she and I left our discussion in a good place.” Monserrat lifted Jenna by her armpits, sitting her up straight. “I need Jenny. My drive home was bad because there was traffic keeping me from consoling my Little girl.”
“If we play – I’m not going to wet my diaper.”
“I’ve never expected that from you, hon.”
“I don’t know if I can get super into it, like we did on our big weekend. It might be more like how I was when we first started playing.”
“That’d be fine. You’re rarely into the deep end of Little. I like all the permutations of Jenny.”
Jenny giggled. “Permutation is a maths word.”
Navi grinned. “It sure is. The smile on your face is a Jenny smile.”
“That’s because I’m Jenny now.” The Little girl nodded seriously. “Navi, I had a terrible day.”
“I know, Jenny-bear. I’m so sorry. My day was bad too.” Navi kissed Jenny gently. “How about I get you cleaned up, then we have dinner in your room?”
“A me and you only evening?”
“Just the two of us. Lots of snuggles.”
Jenny sighed plaintively, sagging as she finally relaxed. “That sounds wonderful. Please Navi, hurry.”
“No, no more hurrying tonight.” Navi laid Jenny gently on her bed. “I’m going to take my time washing your face, getting you diapered, and dressed. We’ll take our time with dinner too. Other than getting you ready for bed, dinner’s the only thing we have to do all evening.”
“Can I show you pictures of Bowser?”
“Did Brooke send you new puppy pictures?” Navi grinned.
“So many of them!” Jenny wrapped her arms around herself and wiggled. “They’re so silly!”
“I’d love to see them, but I wish I could meet her puppy in person.”
“She was going to come over in a few days – to – to see me Little. I told her she had to bring Bowser if she wanted to see me that way.”
“I’m sure she’d bring her puppy even if she wasn’t going to see you Little. She’s your best friend, Jenny.”
“I – I might be Little when she comes over anyway. If that’s okay.”
“It’s always okay for you to be Little. Just as it’s always okay for you to be Big.”
Jenny nodded with another big sigh. “Navi – my face is itchy.”
“I bet. You’ve been crying all afternoon. Navi’s here now. I’ll take care of you.”
The innocent tranquility on Jenny’s face while she lay quietly to have her face washed filled Navi’s heart with love to the breaking point. There was too much tender care flowing out for even Navi’s broad and ample chest to contain. Similarly, the dark cloud that flitted across Jenny’s face when Navi put a diaper under her hit like a knife wound.
Naked and spread out on a changing blanket in front of her fiancé, Jenny’s trepidation was obvious in the strain around her eyes. Navi watched in wonder as the Little girl deliberately relaxed, letting fear pass over her. She applied lotion to Jenny with the steady pressure of a massage, working it into every curve of the Little girl’s skin. Lifting Jenny’s ankles as if she was weightless made the Little girl giggle happily. A reverent smile clung to Navi’s lips while she patted baby powder into place on Jenny’s rear and crotch.
Wrapping a diaper around Jenny’s body felt like a sacred moment. Navi set the diaper tapes with the familiarity of a daily benediction. She drew her Little girl into her arms for a long hug. When it came to clothes, Jenny surprised Navi by insisting on her one-piece pajamas with the bear-eared hood. They huddled together in bed until their stomachs growled. Though Navi attempted to tuck Jenny into bed with her stuffed bat while she prepared dinner, the Little girl wasn’t having any of it.
Elizabat came with Navi and Jenny to the kitchen. Jenny had asked to have her pacifier put in discourage their girlfriends from talking to her. Based on that hint or their own empathy and intuition, Rachel and Niusha were hardly to be seen. Back in Jenny’s bedroom with reheated curry and flatbread, they browsed pictures of Brooke’s puppy while they ate. The bulk of their evening was nothing at all, simply lying softly in each other’s arms.
When bedtime came, Jenny had enough of her spark back to be happily wiggly when Navi put her on the potty and brushed her teeth. They retired to Navi’s room to sleep, trading Jenny’s twin bed for Navi’s king. Elizabat was invited along, of course, though Jenny put her aside when Navi reached for her under the covers.
Navi deftly unzipped the Little girl’s pajamas to palm the softness of her chest. Jenny gave a low, drawn out moan that ended when her lips found Navi’s bare breast. Tenderly, they explored with hands and lips until each of them shuddered quietly. It wasn’t a night for clawed fingers in their sheets, sweat-soaked bodies, or fireworks in the mind’s eye. From their covers to their lovemaking, their world was soft as velvet and warm as a sleeping puppy.
Navi drifted off to sleep as her breath synched to Jenny’s, the Little girl already asleep and drooling on Navi’s bosom. Her last thought before slumber overtook her was to wrap her arms around Jenny, holding her precious fiancé in a gentle but unyielding embrace.
Comments
I think a cool idea would to have Monserrat babysit Briana again and take Jenny along. Briana could help Jenna find a balance between Jenna and Jenny. I suggest Briana because of all Littles we know of her perspective is the one most likely to help. She knows who she really is and can become Adult Briana with just one word. You could put in another Little if you want instead but I would say a Little’s perspective is needed. Who better than everyone’s favorite,or at least my favorite, Little.
Yes definitely not a hard reset. I think Jenna is scared. She is enjoying being Jenny more than she thought she would.
It was kind of a reset on the ABDL... though Jenny did let Navi put her in a diaper which would have made her hyperventilate in chapter one, so some of the progress was retained. It's sort of like starting over in a roguelike. You get to keep your unlocks, and diapers is one of those. :D
Yes she does. It’s good Monserrat told Jenna she didn’t need her to be Jenny. She loved her before they started playing.
Wonderful chapter @Sol. I loved it from beginning to end. You started this Vol in excellent fashion. You made me feel all that Monserrat was feeling. The feeling she let her Little girl down by not being there and knowing that Jenny could have called her anytime but didn’t. Also the jealous feelings she has over Niusha coming to Jenna’s rescue. Major points go to Niusha for staying calm while Monserrat vented. I loved the conversation Monchi and Jenna had and not once did Monchi try to start something or bring Jenny out. @WickedDark you are absolutely right. Jenna had to know that it was ok to just be Jenna and not just Jenny. Monserrat had to be the one to tell her that. It looks like JaM did a reset to when they first started and that’s ok. Jenna setting some ground rules before becoming Jenny is a big thing as well. So many good things happened it’s impossible to put them all down without rambling.
This volume is going to partly be about Jenna/Jenny figuring out who she is, and how that works with who Monserrat is. She's got a good support group for sure!
Love that the story picked up where the last AB Sitter left off. I think that letting your partner know it's okay to be whoever they are is essential in relationships. People that force themselves to be someone there not ends in disaster.
