Bea
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Late night message
🕑 Added 2022-06-07 05:15:15 +0000 UTCHey, guys! Sorry it took me a while to finish this one, but I hope you like it 💜
Please, don't share any NSFW content. It's exclusive for patrons.
_
[JK's pov]
JK: I know I'm a coward, because I waited for you to go to sleep to tell you this, but I think if I don't, I'll never have the courage, so there you go
JK: I've typed and deleted this message a million times and I've come to the conclusion that there's no less scary way to tell you I'm in love with you. It was a lot easier to pretend you didn't exist and it pains me to admit that all that anger I felt wasn't real anger. I think I've always liked you since the first time I saw you, and every time I see you I need all the strength in me not to lose everything. You are my best friend and I hope we can still be friends even though now you know how I really feel
TH: I can call you?
JK: No
TH: I want to hear your voice when you say you like me
JK: My heart will explode and I will die
“Hi,” I say after the phone vibrates in my hand for the third time. I don't know whether to be disappointed or relieved that this isn't a video call.
“Hi,” my heart races when I hear his voice. We stay silent for a few seconds, to the sound of our breathing, and I think I'm going to have a heart attack any second.
“Did I wake you up?”
"No, I was still awake when I got your messages," Taehyung replies.
“I think my plan went awry,” I let out a nervous laugh and bury my face in the pillow.
"Did you really think I was going to be able to ignore all that?" he asks.
“I don't know what I was thinking, I just wanted you to know,” I say, and it's the truth. Maybe I should have considered the consequences better before confessing that I was in love with him, because our friendship would hardly remain the same after that, but I've lived for so long with this feeling stuck inside my chest that sometimes I can't find room for more. For anything. Not even for myself.
“I know now.”
“Yeah, now you know.”
“Jungkook.”
“Yeah?”
“I want to see you,” my heart skips a beat when Taehyung says that.
“We can turn on the camera.”
“No. I really want to see you. I want to see you now. I know it's 2am, but can I come over?”
I hesitate to answer. I want to see him too, but my body fills with anxiety just thinking about the possibility.
“I promise not to be long, I just need to see you for five minutes,” Taehyung insists.
“Ok.”
“I'll be there in 10. See you in a little,” he says and ends the call.
I jump out of bed when I hear the knock on the door. I know it's him, and that we've been together in my room a lot of times in the last two years, but I also know the reason why Taehyung came tonight. I take a deep breath before turning the key in the lock, as if somehow breathing will quell the unshakable anxiety in my chest.
I feel my body go into complete numbness when I see him. Taehyung is wearing a black hoodie and black sweatpants, and I bet he just got out of bed, put on sneakers, and came here after we got off the phone.
"If it was any other time of day, I wouldn't mind staying here in the hallway, but I don't want to risk waking up your neighbors," Taehyung smiles, making me wake up from my trance. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, sorry,” I say, stepping back to let him in. “Do you want anything to drink?”
He shakes his head, removing his hood.
"No, maybe just five minutes of your attention?" Taehyung smiles again. In fact, I think he's been smiling since he arrived. I'm not sure, because I can't think straight.
I nod, motioning for him to sit on the bed, and take the chair in front of him. Taehyung seems to be, as usual, completely calm, and I wonder if you can tell that my nervousness is enough for both of us. He scratches his head, studying me intently as silence fills every empty space within the room.
“Is it been a long time?”
“It has been a while. I don't know since when, exactly.”
He nods, looking away from my face for a second.
"Since last Halloween?"
I feel my face heat up at the memory.
“Maybe before that, but I think at the party I knew for sure.”
"So it wasn't an accident when you kissed me?"
“That wasn't a kiss, I swear it wasn't on purpose,” I say in my defense, maybe a little too quickly. “And I thought you were too drunk to remember what had happened.”
“I wasn't too drunk,” Taehyung admits. The TV is on mute, brightening his face, and I can see his cheeks flush.
"Then why did you say you didn't even remember how you got home?"
“You started acting different after the party, you looked more like Jungkook from back in the day. I thought it was better to pretend I didn't remember anything, so you could get back to normal with me. And it worked, didn't it?”
“Like I said, it wasn't on purpose,” I repeat, trying to hide my embarrassment.
And it hadn't been. Well, not exactly.
It had been two years since Taehyung and I stopped hating each other and became best friends. Not that we used that label to define what we had, but we were always together. In a short time he had become my first choice for company for all occasions – going to the bookstore, the park, the movies, concerts, games, trips, everything. I could no longer remember what my life was like before him, and the more I tried to understand the anger I felt before that, the less sense it made. Until, during last year’s Halloween party, I finally understood what that meant.
I didn't know we were going in costumes until the last minute, and even though we hadn't agreed on anything, we were both dressed as vampires. Taehyung had dyed his hair for the first time that day, and he was so beautiful that I lost myself for longer than I feel healthy to admit. I felt what I felt whenever he was around – an unbearable need to be the center of his attention.
I don't think I've ever been in love before, definitely not with someone of the same gender, but it wasn't the fact that Taehyung was a boy that bothered me. Apart from my hours of sleep, I spent the rest of the day with him, or wanting to be with him, and until then it hadn't dawned on me that that desire to be together all the time wasn't just because he was my best friend. I wanted to be with him all the time because he was the essence of everything that mattered to me.
"So your mouth came to mine by accident?" Taehyung insists. “And then on my neck?”
I roll my eyes, because I don't know where he's going with these questions, and that's enough for him to crack a smile.
"Is that what you came for at 2:00 in the morning, to make fun of me?"
“No,” he says, laughing and shaking his head. “But I hoped you were willing to tell me the truth.
I don't know how to respond, so I remain silent. My heart is beating so fast I can't even breathe properly. Taehyung gets up from the bed and takes two steps to reach me, fitting himself between my legs. When he rests his arms on my shoulders and sinks his fingers into my hair, I bring my hands to his waist, not really knowing what's going on.
“Was it really unintentional, Kook? When did you kiss me?” he asks again, his voice barely audible, but we're so close I can hear the sound of his breathing. When Taehyung holds my face, my eyes close within his touch. I feel his mouth on mine and my whole body heats up, as if the temperature in the room has suddenly risen.
“No,” I admit, so low it's like a whisper. “I really wanted to kiss you that night.
“I really want to kiss you right now,” he says, lifting one leg at a time and sitting on my lap.
I wrap his body in my arms and he wraps his around my neck, parting his lips slowly, as if we're in slow motion. Taehyung bites and sucks my bottom lip a few times before sticking his tongue in my mouth, playing with the piercing on mine, and he seems to know so well what he's doing that it takes me by surprise. It's not my first kiss, but it feels like it, because I've never felt any euphoria quite like this. My hands wander around his waist shyly as we kiss with what feels like all the excitement in the world.
My eyes are still closed when Taehyung breaks the kiss and looks at me. His hands are cold, unlike my cheeks, which are burning. He leans his forehead against mine and chuckles, finally looking me in the eye after a few seconds of staring at my mouth.
“You haven't said yet,” he mutters. I offer him a confused look, having no idea what he's talking about. “You still haven't said you like me.”
I laugh and throw my head back, rolling my eyes.
"After all this, do I still need to say it?"
"Yeah," Taehyung smiles, holding my face. “To make it real.”
I let out a long breath and tighten the hug around his body. I feel my heart skip one, five, ten beats, and for a moment I'm pretty sure it's beating out of my chest.
Taehyung is the most attractive person I've ever seen in my life.
“I love you,” I say, because it's true. No doubt. No fear. Not afraid to be the cheesiest guy in the universe. “There isn't a cell in my body that isn't completely in love with you.”
This time, I'm the one who takes him by surprise, because I don't think he was expecting it. Taehyung puts his glasses up on his head and analyzes me for a moment, as if all the cheesiness in what I said could somehow nullify the feeling behind those words, but there's nothing in my expression to indicate that it's just a joke.
He hugs me and rests his head on my shoulder, hiding his face in the crook of my neck.
“I love you too. With all the cells in my body,” Taehyung laughs and I know he's making fun of me.
But I think it's true too.
"You're so ridiculous," I say, trying to push him away.
“I am,” he replies, cupping my face again. "But that doesn't make you like me any less."
Instead of saying anything, I bring our lips together again.
Taehyung is right.
There is nothing in the world that would make me like him less.
Comments
Nikki Kim
I feel like I'm in this place I'm so immersed and happy that I can't breathe👄🍒💜 I envy them so much 👄🫦💦🌹
J Rio Garson
Holy crap! This is incredible. You did such a great job with the animation, and the details! Jk holding onto the bed frame, his tongue piercing peeking out, the bunny lockscreen on his phone. And Tae wearing glasses(!), the way his skin is flushed, his foot peeking out from under JK's thigh on the upstroke. This is definitely a favorite! And I really liked these lines from your story - "I've lived for so long with this feeling stuck inside my chest that sometimes I can't find room for more. For anything. Not even for myself."
