Srsli
patreon
101: Tempura
🕑 Added 2025-10-21 17:08:56 +0000 UTCAs I walked through the market, I was in awe of everything around me. There were so many stores with amazing fruits and vegetables. It was a buzz of activity, and the air was heavy with the smell of roast meats and smoke from all the food vendors.
It was really difficult to pick where I wanted to go first, but food won out.
I approached the closest stall to me and saw what looked to be a variety of roast meats on sticks, including several that looked to be sausage or something wrapped around the skewer. I couldn’t choose, so I got one of everything he had and walked away from the stall with five sticks in hand.
The first was the sausage-like meat around the skewer, and when I took a bite, it was amazing—incredibly juicy. The meat was almost ground up and mixed with onions, garlic, and some other seasoning, then pressed around the stick.
But the juiciness was incredible!
The next two were more classic roast meat on a stick. There were no vegetables; the first appeared to be a fatty piece of Buvul, while the second one I wasn’t really sure what it was.
What I did know was that it was absolutely delicious. Like the first one, it was super juicy, with an incredible smoky flavour.
Once I’d finished all the meat sticks, I was about to go right back to the same stall, but I was immediately reminded of how many options I had and that I should pace myself when, as I was turning around, I spotted another stall that looked to be selling some form of fried fish.
I suppose I could buy a bit of everything and store it?
But it would be better to figure out how they do it and make it myself. After all, I had absolutely no shortage of meat right now.
As I was heading to the next food stall, I was distracted on the way by a seafood shop that had something I’d never seen before. They were like the lake bugs I’d tried in the past back in Boltron.
These were almost fearsome-looking; they had very large claws, easily the size of my hand, dark green with a hard shell that seemed to be covered in sharp edges, almost like blades.
“Ah, young sir, you’re admiring the Razor Crabs, I see,” the shop owner said with a smile.
“They look dangerous,” I said in awe. The whole crab would’ve been the size of my head.
“That they are, if they manage to catch you with their claws—but the taste is absolutely divine,” the man responded jovially.
“How do you cook them? They look too hard to eat,” I said, looking up at him.
“You boil them! Flavour your water with salt, pepper, spices, onion, some fresh chilli, and some fermented bean paste—which we also sell—then, when you’re ready to serve, you thicken it up with some root starch,” he explained, listing off the ingredients as I listened intently.
That all sounded doable. I had everything on me except for the crab and bean paste.
“How much?” I asked.
“Two silver per crab, and twenty coppers for a jar of the bean paste,” he said.
“Would you give me a discount if I purchased a lot of crabs?” I looked down to see how many he had.
“Oh? And how many would you like?” he asked, clearly getting a count himself.
“Ten, and two jars of the bean paste.” If I could get it for fifteen silvers and a spare bean paste for testing later—
“Hmm, what say we do seventeen for the crabs and paste?” he counter-offered.
“Fifteen,” I said firmly, trying my best to channel my inner Milo.
“Deal,” the man said with a large smile, holding out his hand. After a quick shake, he began preparing boxes.
“Oh, that’s okay,” I said. “If we can dispatch them now, I can store them all.”
“It’s important to eat these fresh. Usually you kill them just before you put them in the pot,” he said, looking at me.
“That’s fine. I have a storage that freezes time and keeps everything as fresh as when it goes in,” I explained.
“That’s handy. Very well, give me a few minutes and I’ll have it all ready for you,” he said, putting on some heavy gloves as he reached in to grab the first one out.
Sure enough, a couple of minutes later he had ten very large crabs sitting ready for me and two jars of a brownish-green paste.
“Now, a word of advice—that paste is very strong. You don’t need a lot of it in your mixture,” he said. “And don’t eat it straight, or it’ll be very unpleasant.”
I stored everything and, after thanking the man again, left his stall to carry on.
The next place that caught my eye wasn’t a food stall, but instead looked to be selling everyday equipment—cooking equipment! As I walked up to the table, I observed all the pans hanging off hooks behind the owner, with small utensils displayed up front on the table itself.
“Hello, young sir! Come to buy a gift?” he said jovially.
“Oh, not a gift, no. I was actually hoping to buy a large pot—preferably as large as you have,” I responded, looking around, but I couldn’t see anything that fit what I was after.
“Hmm, we don’t really have anything out here, but how large are we talking?” he said, rubbing his chin.
I pulled out one of the crabs I’d just purchased. “Large enough to fit ten of these, plus all the liquid and ingredients to go with it, with enough space for it not to boil over.”
The man’s eyes widened at the sight of the crab, but he rapidly turned all business.
“I don’t have anything that size here, but back at the shop I do have some pots large enough to fit what you’re after. They’re not cheap, though—a lot of metal goes into them,” he said.
“That’s fine. I can pay. How large are we talking, and how much?” I asked.
The man used his hands to roughly show me the size of the pot, and it looked to be exactly what I was after—a really large stock pot that I’d be able to boil the crabs in. But more importantly, I believed I could fit an entire junior-phase spider into it as well.
“Cost will be three silver,” he said firmly.
Honestly, this was far cheaper than I was expecting, and in the past I would’ve handed over the coin then and there. But after finding out how many times people had taken advantage of me without me knowing, I decided to push my luck.
“I’ll buy it if it’s as you say. I’m currently staying at the adventurers’ guild—any chance you’d be able to drop it off there this afternoon?” I asked, and his eyes widened.
“You don’t look like much of an adventurer,” he said with a chuckle—and this was when Crisplet decided to come out of the brazier, immediately grabbing the man’s attention.
“Oh wow, okay, I stand corrected,” he said with a chuckle. “No problem, I’ll have someone deliver it to the guild. Your name?”
“Trevor,” I said happily, looking forward to the new pot.
“Just Trevor?” he asked.
“Yeah, just Trevor. Don’t worry—they’ll know who I am. We made a small entrance yesterday,” I said with a laugh.
“Wait! That was you…” the man said—much louder than he meant to, going by the fact he started with a shout and ended in a hushed whisper.
“Maybe,” I responded. “I’ll have your silver when you show up, and I’ll give you a tip for delivery as well,” I said happily, reaching out to shake his hand as a deal was made.
Once I left, I couldn’t help but finally make my way to the place where I thought they were serving fried fish—but what I found instead was fried everything. They had vegetables, tubers, fish, chicken, Buvul, boar—you name it, they’d fry it all right there in what looked like a super light and crispy batter.
I wanted to restrain myself but failed horribly, and in the end I purchased one of everything—to the lady’s surprise—but at two coppers a piece it was a bargain! Once it was fried, it was just lightly salted and then served with two sticks to eat it. After the demonstration on how to hold and use them, I took my first bite.
It was absolutely divine. The outside was so crispy with a light salt flavour, while the inside was hot and fluffy. I swore there must’ve been something else to it—it tasted too good. When I asked for the recipe for the batter, she just laughed, telling me it was a family secret.
“Could I buy the recipe from you?” I asked hopefully.
“Not a chance, lad. I’ll pass it down to my children when they take over.” Then she paused. “Mind you, I have a daughter about your age…”
I quickly accepted my losses. I stored all the ones I hadn’t eaten yet—maybe I could figure out how to make it with Milo’s help later on—but mostly I just wanted to keep them hot and fresh to eat later.
I noticed a store along the edge of the market with a sign out front saying Magical Equipment. It wasn’t a stall, but it was clearly open, so I made my way over to see what they had. I’d like a better knife one day, but I knew I couldn’t afford it right now.
As I entered the store, the older-looking clerk behind the counter didn’t greet me but just looked at me a bit confused before finally saying,
“Can I help you?”
“Oh, sorry. I’m just looking—I was hoping to find an extra-sharp knife,” I responded.
“Oh? And what do you plan on doing with this knife?” she said.
I wasn’t entirely sure, and I didn’t want to respond with just cooking. I didn’t have most of the scales, and the dragon ones were all connected still, as we were unable to cut through the hide to separate them despite removing the meat.
What I did have on me, though, was a couple of drake scales in my storage ring, so I pulled one out. “I was hoping to find a knife that could carve runes into very tough material like this.” I held out the scale to show the lady.
Her eyes widened when she saw it. “Drake scales?” She said in almost a whisper.
I stored it again—now that I knew she understood what I was after, I didn’t want to attract attention unnecessarily.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m not sure we have any carving equipment here that could mark a rune onto a scale. We have several knives with the regular sharpness enchantment, but I do apologise.” She half-bowed. “That said, if you’re looking to sell any of those scales, we’d be interested in purchasing them,” she added, sounding much more friendly.
“Not at the moment, sorry. Thank you for your time,” I said, leaving the store. Crisplet decided to leave his brazier at this point and follow beside me.
I would like to spend another day exploring the market, but for now, I’d head back to the guild and see if I could enquire about finding that kitchen.
***
A short walk later, I was entering the guild hall, which was likewise bustling with activity. I approached one of the counters, entering a line where I was waiting my turn to speak with an assistant, when from behind, someone roughly knocked into me, pushing me backwards.
When I steadied myself, I looked up to see someone now standing in my spot in the line.
“Excuse me, I was standing there,” I said politely. I really didn’t want to cause a scene, but Liane had been telling me I couldn’t let people walk over me.
“Now you’re not. Shut it, kid,” the man said.
I felt my temper rising, but apparently I wasn’t the only one, as Crisplet came out of the brazier and rapidly expanded in size, turning a deep volatile red as a powerful heat emanated from him.
The man’s face paled as he looked eye to eye with a raging inferno that was Crisplet.
“What is happening here!” a voice called out above the growing crowd of people who wanted to see what would happen.
The man who’d pushed in spoke first. “This kid’s picking a fight, trying to push in!”
Crisplet’s heat intensified, causing the man to step back. That was when I saw Patrick push through the crowd of people, making his way to us.
I whispered to Crisplet, “Tone it down just a little. We’ll sort it out.” Following my instructions, the heat dropped a little, but Crisplet didn’t change size.
As Patrick took in the scene, he seemed to realise what had really happened almost immediately.
“Trevor, what happened?” Patrick asked.
“Sorry, sir. This man pushed in front of me, and Crisplet took it as a hostile action,” I explained.
“You should control your beast better,” the man snarled.
“Ulgar, shut your mouth. You’re incredibly lucky it was this companion of his who took offence and not the other one—or I’d likely be cleaning a corpse off the floor today. You’re dismissed. If you want to bully other members, do it elsewhere, not here,” Patrick said firmly.
“But—” he started to say.
“No excuses. I’ll organise a meeting tomorrow to evaluate your performance in the guild with Joanne. Now leave. If I see you back here today, you’ll be removed from the guild.” The firmness in his tone left no room for argument, and after a dirty look, Ulgar left the guild hall, a couple of his party members following him.
“Sorry about that, Trevor. We don’t tolerate that behaviour here, but it doesn’t stop people from trying. What did you need help with today? Also, could you…” He gestured to Crisplet, who was still watching the door that Ulgar had left through.
“Crisplet, we’re okay now. You can come back to the brazier,” I whispered before turning to Patrick. “I was hoping to get access to a kitchen, actually.”
As Crisplet shrank back down, Patrick’s face lit up. “You might be the first person to use it in years, but there is actually one on the third floor where you’re staying!
“Follow me! Let me show you.”
Comments
Robert
Razor crab butter!!!! Oh! What color will the crab be when it is cooked? Red is awesome, but I'd be delighted for something... ✨ Magical! ✨
Hammy
Welp, here hoping that idiot doesn't do something dumb, like try to attack Trev or ya, corpse removal will be needed.
Alex V
Oh no, Trevor got crabs!
T J Ward
Not yet, if its something people want I'll look into setting it up, but you're the first to ask :D
Jonathan Robichaux
We don't have a discord yet do we?
Metafy
Thank you for the chapter!
