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Slept With a Girl, Now Have a Reputation as a Creep
🕑 Added 2019-06-15 03:21:25 +0000 UTC Hey Alexander
First of all, i have really enjoyed your videos - they are an inspiration to me, and i have really learned a lot about the world through them!
Now, i want to share a story with you today that i want your honest opinion on (as well as the opinion of your subscribers). It is a story that i would like to call “slept with a girl, now have a reputation as a “creep””. I have been thinking about this for some days and i am really torn between if this is my own fault or if i have just been unfortunate enough to meet a crazy psycho chick.
So i want you to give me a straight and honest answer when you judge this story. It is quite long because i want to give as many details as possible to make the story stand out more clearly, but i hope you can stay focused throughout. Alright here goes:
I started this study major last year at University (i just finished my second semester) which i enjoy and which gives me fulfillment because i get to travel in my fourth semester which i like. As soon as i started, there were rumors about this particular latina girl from my ‘sister-major’ (the two majors are very similar, but the difference is that the other major is directed towards international students).
This girl were very open and direct in her ways of attracting attention towards herself, especially from men. People from my major had all kinds of stories to tell about her, how she slept with one of her tutors (supervisers) on one of the first parties and how she kept clinging to and touching every man that talked with her. I was obviously appalled by this, but i still found myself being a little intrigued and i wanted to meet her personally. Fast forward a few weeks later and i got that chance.
So i went to this party, and one thing lead to another and the two of us ended up dancing through much of the night. Then she started to kiss me and took my hands and lead them down to touch her ass. It was a bit weird but i liked it. We ended up making out a lot more the rest of the night and i took her home and had sex with her. She wasn’t particularly attractive (the others from my major said that she was ugly) but i still thought she was very cute and i also have a bit of a thing for latinas, so i considered myself a lucky man after that night.
A few days later we went to another party, and i got a feeling that she avoided me (i wasn’t particularly trying to seek her out or anything). So afterwards i sent her a text message (i regret this SOO much today, since this sparked the entire story..) asking her what this was about and saying that i had a little thing for her (ugh…). She responded about 5 days later saying she didn’t know what to reply and that she wasn’t trying to avoid me, which was fine. I just texted her back something like “okay no problem. If you want to, you are welcome at my place again some other time”. I never got a reply from that, so i thought “okay, done deal, no problem, move on”, which i did.
About a month or so later, i went to this christmas dinner thing hosted by the tutors, where i got to talk with many other people from the ’sister-major’. Out of nowhere she sits next to me, holds my hands and touches me very inappropriately, whilst i was in the middle of a conversation with another girl. I was shocked. She grabbed me and said “we need to talk” and took me outside. She said she was sorry that she never replied to my earlier message and BEGGED me to take her home again. She then grabbed my arm and forced me to go back to my place. I was a bit drunk and had lost all my inhibitions, so i let her. She didn’t even want to take her coat with her, which she purposely forgot at the party. We went home and had sex again.
After she left my apartment this second time, i had a very weird feeling in my stomach. I have never tried something like this before.
I saw her in the canteen the next week-day and confronted her about it. She said she didn’t know what she wants in life and that she had to think about it and text me back. Okay, hmm a little weird but alright. A couple of weeks later, i still couldn’t shake the thought of her - i have no idea what the hell that was, but i really thought the best thing for me to do was to move on. So i decided to text her one last time telling her that i thought she was very cute and that she was being too harsh on herself, which i thought was a shame. I ended it with a Goodbye. DOT. Naturally that message did not receive a reply either. After this, i moved on and forgot all about her.
Then, about two months later, i received a text message from her. It said something about that she was very sorry that she never replied (again …) and that she didn’t know what she wanted in life (again…) and all kinds of other crap that i really couldn’t take seriously at this point. I had joined an organization, which to my honest surprise, she was a member of, and they had a meeting the next day in which i coincidentally couldn’t come to because of other commitments. She said that she was afraid it was going to be awkward and that is why she felt she had to text me. I didn’t know what to reply and i honestly contemplated about not replying to her. BUT since i have this naive principle of always replying, i did reply to her the next day saying i thought we should forget about everything and start over. My reply, ta-daa, did not get a reply back…
Fast forward to the next party and she was there - we didn’t do anything this time but suddenly later that night she calls me.... I didn’t pick up the phone because i was doing something else. I thought she was going to explain herself, so i called her a few times to get her to speak. She never picked up her phone, and so i just ended it with “i saw your call, i thought you were gonna call me and explain yourself” or something like that. No reply, surprise surprise. At this point i started to really think this was very very weird, but oh-oh it gets much much worse, for listen to this:
Recently i got an explanation from one of her friends from her major. It turns out (and fasten your seat-belts for this one) she has gone around and said to just about EVERYONE in her major for the last couple of months now that i am a “creep” that “stalks” her (she got me to order her a taxi the last time we were together, so i knew her address) and “keeps texting her”, and the worst part is that everyone believes her lies and fictitious narratives and now avoids me like the plague, which really saddens me, because this is COMPLETELY unjustified behavior. Also i hear that she is trash-talking and bullying me about this with all her friends from the major.
Although i do have to dip in with a side story about my friend who took my phone once and texted her with some shit about loving her and to meet her somewhere, which i told her friend wasn’t me. BUT i take full responsibility for this nonetheless, because we were both very drunk and i shouldn’t have lend him my phone. Also i have to pinpoint that this happened very recently and a long time after she started with her lies and manipulations so it was not that that did it, it only spewed more fuel to the fire.
Anyway, the two of them has for the last three months been trash-talking me, and exchanged pictures of my texts with them (apparently these girls know how to make certain texts fit in with some weird narrative that makes me look very very bad).
I now have this unshakeable reputation in the ‘sister-major’ of being this “creep” - apparently their name for me is “Mr. Creepy boy”. I have no idea what the fuck happened, this has never happened to me before and i have no idea how to react to this. I am contemplating going to a psychiatrist for this experience, so serious i think it is…. Also i am contemplating about filing a harassment report against her, although i am afraid they will not take it seriously because you know.. i am a man...
I am afraid this reputation will follow me for the rest of my time in University….
But that leaves me to this that i have been thinking about for some time now: Is this my own fault? Should i have listened to a lot of signals (there were many as you can hear)? Should i never have texted her back when she texted me? In the end, have i brought this down upon myself, or was it a case of meeting a crazy person who decided to use me and manipulate the entire school into branding me as a creep?
What do you all think?
Comments
Michael Carleton
You need to understand that someone suffering from DID that is not aware of the disorder and the alters can be a danger to themselves and others. In a real sense, she in unable to consent to sex because there is no way for you to know if you have gotten consent from all the personalities living inside the head of the person in front of you. I would distance yourself from this person as much as you can. You might think that you might be able to help them but keep in mind that when a therapist finds they are dealing with a DID, they pass them off to a specialist. It is a hard disorder to diagnose and treat.
Michael Carleton
I have not listened to Alex's response so this comment pertains to just the letter writer's question. You seem to have a gut feeling that you are dealing with a crazy person. There is a kind of crazy person that would, I think, account for the behavior that you are seeing. It is called Dissociative Identity Disorder also known as Multiple Personality Disorder. The person you met at the party and hooked up with was an alternative personality of the girl you met in class. The core personality experiences the time the alter is active as black outs or lost time. The core personality does not remember interacting with you. The alter remembers everything. It is like the alter can see everything the core sees and hears but the core only remembers the time the core is active. When the core sees a text from you that refers to a time you were hooking up with the alter, it looks like you are trying to sexualize the non-sexual relationship you have with the core. The alter can not reply to the text because she is hiding from the core. The core would also be able to read any text the alter sent to you.
