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My local community is doing a dance project about preventing violence against women. I don't want to prejudice anyone's opinion by sharing mine first but please tell me, what are your thoughts about this poster. I want to know if they are the same as mine.

🕑 Added 2019-09-03 08:06:40 +0000 UTC

Comments

Jennifer Coopman

There is a version of the Duluth Model's power and control wheel but for female abusers against men: http:/dvservices.tripod.com/id41.html. It's not quite as detailed, and I can't tell if the behavior descriptions were determined in the same way the Duluth Model determined theirs, or if the makers of this wheel just copied some of the Duluth Model's and assumed it would be the same for men? Speaking of, Duluth Model says the reasons they don't focus on female abuse of men is: men are still the majority of abusers, since women are often victims, it's hard to tell if female violence is abuse or just self defense, men's abuse of women has traditionally been encouraged by society, whereas women's physical abuse of men is not encouraged by society, and lastly, they say that the societal damage of me getting physically abused by women is trivial compared to the societal damage of a woman getting abused by a man. I think abusive behavior by women toward men I S encouraged by society ( what's that Carrie Underwood song again about destroying his car?) Is it considered trivial because women's abuse tends to be social/emotional rather than violent? If another man keys your car, you'd probably punch him. I wonder if there are some men who equate destruction of property and adultery the same as physical violence, and that's why they think it's ok to be violent to women, since those are usually the kind of abuses women perpetrate? Or am I wrong about women being more emotional/socially abusive rather than physical? I wish Alexander would do a video on this.

Female violence towards men is also an issue, especially destruction of his property, betrayal of his trust, and defilement of the bed. Some men are violent towards women, but the focus is almost always skewed against men, and is vastly under-recorded by what women do. The violence continues in the courts upon divorce.

Ryan Stallard

This starts to get interesting in other cultures. For example, in China, the police consider physical domestic disputes a family matter and would refuse to get involved. I would also add there's a difference between violence and intent to cause permanent harm (which unless alcohol is involved, I'd guess is pretty rare).

Total bullcrap. It is NOT prevalent

Blair

I agree it's anti-male and a ridiculous exaggeration. I also share your sadness, if it's sadness you feel, that men and women are splitting further and further apart. Healthy, committed, long-term, mutually beneficial relationships are rarer and rarer, I think. I wish it weren't so.

Blair

I agree the "gendered drivers" section is REEEEALLY skewed.

Blair

Regarding the poster Alex is showing us, the idea that domestic violence is "Driven by gender inequality" is feminist nonsense, at least in advanced liberal western democracies. The four 'drivers' they state are quite mixed up. Also I would not take their word for it on any statistics they provide. Scrutinize the methodology closely. My ex-wife was violent with me on multiple occasions, and the violence only went one way in our relationship. I had NO CLUE the extent to which women commit domestic violence until I went through it myself and then got educated about it. The buses on the route I use to commute to work recently featured a poster advertising for 5 charities that all help victims of domestic abuse. The poster said "We believe survivors", and exclusively showed silhouettes of three females - a girl, a woman, and an old woman. As a male who was punched multiple times by his wife - which I bet many would have found hard to believe - what I took from that poster was that the charities are anti-male prejudiced and are being ideological and political, which is not appropriate. Why wouldn't they say "We serve survivors" or "We help survivors", rather than "We believe survivors"? Also, they're broadcasting that they expect their clients to be females, which is neither a welcoming nor inclusive message - particularly for such a woke area as Seattle - to a male like me.

CJ Canton

Domestic violence against women is a huge problem, I think we all know someone who's suffered from it. I just don't trust feminists to tell the truth though so I wouldn't trust those statistics without double and triple checking them

Some women AND some men experience domestic violence in their relationships. However, as usual, the hosts of this event have blinders on and are only looking at one side of the story. There is no way you could get me to attend such an event! If any one asked me, I would tell them that I'm not attending because they are not looking at all of the facts.

Kyle Worden

1 in 3 women experience domestic violence in a relationship. 1 in 4 men experience domestic violence in their relationships. There is a discrepancy, but it is being portrayed as a female only issue. We can’t exclude 25% of the male population because it happens more to women. Everyone has the right to be protected in an abusive situation, despite what gender they are.

Kent C Johnson

It doesn't seem to be encouraging dialog, does it? My daughter was a successful Military Police Investigator in the US Army (obviously a feminist, right?). In her Army career she responded to 37 domestic violence cases. She says 2 of those were legitimate cases where the woman was involved in an abusive situation. Those are her statistics. The other 35 cases were obviously more nuanced but nuanced communication is off the table.

The real issue is: are the facts used to push a extremist feminist agenda or build a constructive solution to the problem? It is difficult to know here, as it sticks to facts. Though the fact that they emphasized "gender" in the poster makes me worried...

Michael Kiddy

It portrays men as monsters. It’s not pro-equality, it’s distinctly anti-male. What kills me are the silhouettes at the top. In this day and age, what man drags his wife or girlfriend around by her arm like that? Or expects her to bow down to his commands? That’s a ridiculous exaggeration. The murder statistic, while unfortunate, seems to be discouraging women from ever dating or marrying a man.

I never know how to react in these occasions, because on one hand there is an issue, the statistics are clear (yes there are violence against men too, but it is on a totally different scale). On the other hand it sometimes depicts the men as all equally violent and abusive which feeds into a stupid gender war. Dismissing it as "it happens to men too" or "not all men are like that" gives the impression that some legitimate concerns are overlooked and it also feeds into frustration on the feminist side and the gender war.

Alexander Grace

Yeah? I got an email notification about it but I don't see it now. Weird. Here's what you wrote:

Communicate With Confidence

My thoughts? It's just feminist propaganda. It's non-sensical. And their "Gendered drivers of violence against women" section is complete bullshit. Truly masculine men don't go beating up women. Lost, helpless, hopeless men do.