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Chapter 1: Isekaid as a Lecherous Maid
🕑 Added 2025-04-11 11:26:53 +0000 UTC“Huh. So the author really decided to finish it, huh? Man... what a pickle. Should I subscribe to Patreon just to see the ending?” Nathan muttered as he read Chapter 90 of The Reincarnated Villainess Assassin Only Wanted Friends, dragging his half-dead body away from a morning class that had tortured him for an hour.
The author had announced the story was complete—at Chapter 90, no less. But it was only finished on Patreon, not RoyalRoad. With the current glacial pace of weekly releases, it would take at least three more months for the ending to show up for free. It had to be a nefarious scheme to wring money from poor readers like Nathan.
Worse, there was no guarantee the author would stick to their promise of regular updates. They might even hold the final chapter hostage to boost Patreon subs. Cruel. Absolutely cruel. Still, Nathan reminded himself, the author had never once ghosted a story or gone on hiatus. Maybe they really were one of the good ones.
Even so, he stayed cautious.
“Hmm... Maybe I should just sub for a month, binge it all, then cancel. But ugh, this month’s budget’s already tight…” he muttered, scrolling through the Patreon page with a frown. Nathan was so stingy, he couldn’t even justify dropping five dollars on the one novel he’d followed religiously for two years.
To be fair, Nathan was a broke college student in his final year, so his hesitation was understandable. But still... he’d never bothered to pick up a part-time job like the author probably had. He spent most of his time lying around, complaining about life, and waiting for the day he could finally become a proud NEET. Success? That wasn’t in the cards for someone who did absolutely nothing.
Owning a house? That was a pipe dream—and Nathan knew it.
“This world is so unfair. Only the rich or the talented ever make it,” Nathan muttered as he stared out at the park from his college balcony. He believed himself to be completely average. And instead of trying to improve, he just complained about his lack of talent. In fact, if motivation was a form of talent, then Nathan was utterly bankrupt.
He could already picture himself falling into that corporate hell called job hunting—submitting dozens of resumes only to never even land an interview. Companies would ignore him outright. The agony of being ghosted after interviews felt like a slow death. And he wasn’t wrong. Being average meant a higher chance of being tossed into some HR database, labeled “reserve candidate,” and forgotten forever.
“If only I could get reincarnated into another world… If only I had some kind of talent,” Nathan sighed, fully embracing the tragic script of his life. He was convinced the world revolved around talent and money—and while that wasn’t entirely wrong, using it as an excuse not to try only proved one thing:
He was a loser.
His mind drifted to the fantasy worlds in his novels. In those stories, even if someone started from nothing, as long as they were a mage, their life would be set. Nathan could only envy them.
“If only I were handsome… or rich… or at least talented…” he whispered, staring wistfully at the sky from a bench in the park.
A bird landed nearby.
And then, A bird dropped by, dropping its droppings onto Nathan's face with pinpoint precision.
“Fuck!” Nathan shouted, wiping at his face—only to smear the mess even more. The stench hit him like a slap, and to make matters worse, some of it got into his eye.
Blinded, gagging, and furious, Nathan stumbled back into the campus, hunting for the nearest washroom. It was on the second floor.
“What rotten luck,” he muttered, sniffing his hand in disgust.
Completely missing the bright yellow “Caution: Wet Floor” sign, Nathan stepped into the bathroom and slipped magnificently—his flailing body mimicking the pictogram on the sign with 99% accuracy.
The fall kicked over a forgotten bucket filled with soapy mop water, sending it splashing across the floor. And so, Nathan didn’t just wash his head—he ended up soaking his entire body. Too bad he landed on the wrong side of his head, crashing down flat on his back. A nice bump was forming there now, and the already-rotten stench of bird poop on his face was joined by the musty reek of dirty mop water—like damp socks that hadn’t been washed in days.
To make matters worse, someone had left a smartphone charging on the bathroom floor—forgotten by the office boy. The water seeped into it, short-circuiting the device and triggering the campus circuit breaker.
Everything went dark.
In the pitch black, a whisper echoed through the air—soft, alluring, and strangely familiar.
“I choose you,” said a voice. It was sweet and seductive, like the mature onee-sans Nathan often drooled over in anime. But instead of a glowing pink aura full of warmth and love, the space around him oozed pitch-black shadows. Fear crawled up his spine.
Nathan was a chicken.
He didn’t care about the poop on his face anymore—he just ran. Bolted out of the restroom like a man possessed.
But his wet, soapy shoes betrayed him.
The moment he stepped outside, he slipped again. His body flew forward, and his head smashed through the gap under the carved wooden handrail—right between a wooden post and a concrete pillar.
To save costs and "enhance" aesthetics, the school had used cheap tempered glass for the balustrade. Nathan’s head went straight through the glass pane with a crack, and then he fell from the second floor.
Headfirst.
The world turned dark.
His skull popped like a crushed tomato on impact.
When Nathan opened his eyes again, he found himself lying in a bright white room. Sitting before him was a beautiful woman dressed in a white gown, with a golden halo floating above her head. Her hair was long and golden, flowing gracefully down her back. Two white wings curled behind her, and her—bountiful—chest strained against the fabric of her dress.
She sat, rather oddly, on a modern plastic chair.
“Greetings, wandering soul. My name is Goddess Sistielle. You have been chosen as a candidate for reincarnation into another world. Will you accept the offer?” said the blonde woman gently.
Looking around at the surreal white room, Nathan already knew what was going on. He’d read enough isekai novels to recognize this setup. In fact, he’d spent way more time reading those than actually studying—probably why his grades were so mediocre.
“Am I dead?” Nathan asked, though the smirk creeping up his face betrayed how excited he really was. He was delighted.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. You’ve died,” Sistielle replied with a serene smile. “It was quite an unfortunate death—falling from the second floor.”
“So… do I get cheat powers?” Nathan asked, skipping straight to the point. He even hissed the word powers, making it clear he wanted more than just one.
“Of course,” Sistielle nodded. “There’s no way I’d toss you to the wolves empty-handed. You’ll be granted the powers of a Level 8 Fire Mage. In addition, you’ll receive both Sword Mastery and Shooting Mastery. With that, there won’t be a single monster that can stand in your way… as long as you’re holding a sword, that is.”
Nathan was about to pump his fist in victory—but then caution hit him. He’d read enough of these stories to know better. Some protagonists got dumped into hell without a single useful skill. What if Level 8 was meaningless? What if it was like… eight out of a hundred?
“Wait—how strong is Rank 8, exactly?”
“Hm… for comparison,” Sistielle mused, “a Rank 3 or 4 mage—of any type—would never have to worry about food for the rest of their life. Rank 8 has the potential to become a royal mage. I’m afraid I can’t reincarnate you as a noble, though, so you’ll be starting out as a commoner.”
“Alright!” Nathan grinned and pumped his fist. This was perfect. No red flags. No weird catch. A powerful start and no obligations to any royalty. As a commoner, he could just become a mercenary, gather cute girls, maybe even buy a few slaves... and at night, he could—
“Please stay safe,” Goddess Sistielle interrupted suddenly, as if she’d peeked into his thoughts. “There will be swords and magic... I’m counting on you.”
“Wait a minute. Counting on me? Is there going to be a demon lord or something?” Nathan snapped out of his fantasy. His mind had already flown to another world before his body even got there.
“Well, in the future, there will be a demon lord,” Sistielle said solemnly. “And even with all the powers I’m giving you, it won’t be enough to defeat them.”
“Wait. Won’t be enough?” Nathan tensed. Now he was really wary.
“Yes. That demon lord will raise millions of immortal undead. It will devour an entire nation—killing anything that lives.”
“So… what do you want me to do? Kill them before they become the demon lord?”
“Exactly. Very good,” Sistielle said with a smile. “I wasn’t wrong to choose you. You’re smart.”
Nathan puffed out his chest at her praise. She’d meant it as a simple compliment, just being polite—but that low-hanging fruit filled Nathan with pride. Finally, someone was recognizing his worth!
“But how am I supposed to find them? Do you know who it is?”
“I’m afraid not,” Sistielle said. “However, the one who becomes the demon lord will be chosen by the Goddess of Death, Repeara. My blessing should allow you to sense anyone who bears her mark.”
“I see…” Nathan nodded. He had never killed anyone before—but hey, it was a fantasy world. He was bound to fight some bandits or pirates anyway. What was one more body on the pile?
“There’s only one person with that blessing, right? And they’re definitely evil?”
“Yes. There will be only one person who receives her blessing. And yes—he, or she, or it—will definitely be evil. Repeara always chooses the most bloodthirsty being she can find. Once you kill him, or her, or it, your task is complete. After that, you may live your life however you please. And don’t worry—my blessing will remain. I won’t take back the power I’ve given you,” Sistielle explained calmly.
Nathan blinked.
“He, or she, or it...?” he muttered. “Why not just say them?”
Then he frowned. “Ah, right. That implies it’s plural... Ugh, English is such a chore.”
“Alright! I’ll accept it!” Nathan declared. “Um… you’ve already given me a ton of power, and I kinda feel bad asking for more, but… can you make me handsome? I mean, not that handsome, but I’m not gonna get reincarnated as some obese guy in his forties, right?”
He tried to laugh it off, but deep down, he really did want to be fawned over by girls. If he ended up as some ugly old man, sure, he could probably use money to get women—but that wouldn’t be true love!
Nathan’s ego was spinning nonsense. Talking about “true love” when his real goal was clearly a harem? Hypocrite. He already planned to cheat left and right—yet expected loyalty from all the girls. In a way, he really did have the mindset of a textbook isekai protagonist.
“Um…” Sistielle glanced away.
That one sound filled Nathan with dread.
Wait... now that he thought about it, Sistielle had never said anything about his gender. Or even his race. Was he going to be reincarnated as a goblin? A beastman? A literal monster?
Panic set in.
If he wasn’t good-looking, there was no way girls would like him! He wanted to be a handsome protagonist. He wanted to be praised, admired—surrounded by princesses and cute girls. He wanted recognition, a noble title, maybe even to found his own kingdom. His shallow dreams poured into his head like water from a busted dam.
“Wait—am I even going to be human?”
“Ah! Yes, yes, of course!” Sistielle hurriedly assured him. “You’ll definitely be human! It’s just that… um… your identity has already been decided. You’ll be reincarnated as the daughter of a poor knight. So… I, uh… couldn’t really make you a handsome man.”
“...Will I at least be a beautiful girl?” Nathan asked. He was a simple man. If he couldn’t be a hot guy, then being a busty, beautiful girl would do just fine—especially if she was a white-haired bishoujo.
“Of course! You’ll be a gorgeous white-haired girl with big boobs!” Sistielle declared proudly.
Nathan’s worries vanished instantly.
“I’ll be beautiful?”
“Yes!”
“And I’ll have big boobs too?”
“Well, not immediately,” Sistielle said with a sheepish smile. “You’ll be reincarnated as a ten-year-old girl. But in the future, she’ll have quite the rack!”
“That’s even better!” Nathan cried, over the moon. Not only would he get to experience life as a loli, but his future was practically guaranteed!
“I’m glad you like it,” Sistielle replied with a gentle nod. "Alright. I will begin the transfer."
Nathan nodded and light began to envelop him.
Nathan felt a rush of excitement as the warm glow surrounded his body, lifting him off his feet. His heart pounded with anticipation.
He was being transported—to a brand new world, full of magic, swords, and adventure!
Comments
The3rd
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