foilarmsandhog
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My thoughts on books and what NEEDS to change.
🕑 Added 2022-08-30 10:51:30 +0000 UTCHaving just finished my first non-audio book in a year, ( I know, great work right?) I have a few humble suggestions on the future of books, and what needs to change. Some of these will be non-negotiable, and some may be decided by committee, the members of which will be appointed by me. These changes are necessary for the future enjoyment of books and will surely met with widespread applause and possibly awards.
Here are the changes as follows:
A Character Description Page
Unfortunately, books have a habit of describing characters only once, "Gavin was a short man with knee length auburn hair, a weathered face and grey eyes that told a story". Then they (books) expect us to remember this every time Gavin appears, but that's unsustainable. Some of us leave gaps in between reading bouts, and we can't remember what Gavin looks like, so he just becomes a unformed figure in our minds, cartoonish, or shapeless, or worse, he becomes 'Mark' or 'Theo'. Look, I'm not advocating for an illustration of Gavin, but rather a page at the end of the book that would describe him in great detail, a reminder. I also think all characters should be 'weathered', as it's more interesting, but I accept that this may not be optimal (stories about babies etc.)
More pages needed in books
Have you ever noticed that you're getting to the end of a book? Well I have, because I've read several and it's really very obvious: the end of the book gets thinner and thinner. This is a problem. One can guess with a greater ease how a book will end, simply because there's only a handful of pages left. Wouldn't it be better (it would), if there were 'dummy' pages at the end, say.. 30 or 40 (it should vary), that just had 'bla bla bla' written in them, so you wouldn't know when the end was coming and then BAM it would be over. Non negotiable.
Dust covers to be abolished
My book already has a cover, why does my cover need a cover? That's like wearing two jackets. It's also downright dangerous. I frequently pick up a book, only for the shiny dustcover to grip my fingers and the book betwixt to cascade onto the floor or maybe a foot. MY foot. In addition, books with dust covers are so NEEDY, they're like "hey look at my glossy colorful jacket, so ALLURING", but then they're like "hey maybe you want that 18th century understated vibe with the name of the book in gold lettering on the spine, I can be ANYTHING you want me to be." Pathetic. Non-negotiable.
Body terminology to be extended to other parts of the book.
I like the word spine to describe the small side part of a book, perhaps this could be extended to the cover (skin), the pages (guts) and the last chapter (death) of a book. The middle of a book could be the 'belly' and the opening the 'mouth'. Negotiable.
Forewards/Prefaces to be abolished
Look, we get it, the book took ages to write, stop making it longer. To people who only read books infrequently this is annoying. Just get us too the good stuff. Books with prefaces are insecure on the quality of their writing. They're like "okay, maybe don't judge a book on it's merit, read this first and then you'll appreciate it more". No deal. If you want to do that, do it at the end ( possibly in place of a few bla bla pages) Forewards are even worse "hey my mate wrote this book and it took her ages, she's really great, you should read it" WE ALREADY ARE READING IT BOZO AND YOU'RE WASTING TIME. Negotiable, but only if the author passed away before finishing the book, or it's about a really traumatic historical event, something like that. A case by case basis, basically.
All bookmarks to have tassels.
Non-negotiable.
Books that became movies are not allowed change their cover
Let ME imagine what the 5 foot 6, feminine featured red-head weathered woman looked like, don't foist the Hollywood actor on me- stop FORCING my imagination to that of the casting director. Negotiable in certain circumstances, eg Ian McKellen as Gandalf.
All books to be second hand
Not sure how this would work, but I like the theory
If you have helpful suggestions, you may be considered for my committee, in the unlikely event of me rising to supreme leader.
-Arms
Head of committee on the future of book reading worldwide (FBRW)
Comments
I know I'm a bit late to the party, I agree with all of the above, but can we add having actual synopses on the back, instead of bits of reviews?
Observational humour is top class!
I thoroughly enjoyed this post, and reading all the insightful comments! Thank you all for a nice ending to a rainy day :)
I can relate to this more than I'd like to admit =X
Rose Main
Because I know when my book is ending I read slower so that it lasts a bit longer. I don't want to leave the new place I have been in, and I adopt the characters of my friends and apply their thinking to situations I find myself in - so like "what would ..... do2 whichever character in the book I am invested in, or who is the dramatic lead. I feel as if I need to move to a new area/town when the book is finished and the people are still living in the place I had visited in the book.
Ana Little Owl
Interesting insight. π€π€
Judith Connor
I especially like the tassels.
No worries, I know I will read it eventually, I just need to be in the right mood to read sad things :) This is so thoughtful of you, I do this for my friends but it didn't come to my mind that I could also leave some notes for complete strangers <3 In the library, I tend to choose the book that has the most underlined text and inscriptions :D
I think I haven't noticed (a lot of) books with dust covers in our libraries in fact. They get special library jackets anyway. ;) When I buy new ones, it's sometimes with a dust cover, but I always take them off so they don't get creases when I'm taking them with me to read. There are also special booksleeves you can buy to transport your books and don't want anything happen to them. Mmm, that could be a hint for FAH merch, perhaps? And FAH bookmarks. With pictures! That would be nice too!
Yes, itβs always lovely to read the inscriptions β€οΈ I also write some little notes when I donate some books like βI hope you enjoy reading this.β Oh, and sorry to hear about the spoiler in a preface. How awful π’
As an English teacher, I wholeheartedly believe all of this! ππ
Shannan
As both a writer and a librarian I find these acceptable!
Second all your suggestions, especially the character description page, put that at the front. Please also: an alternate happy ending or two at the end of tragic books.
*If I were a committee member I would also banish all the forewords and prefaces, because I've accidentally read the ending of a really good book there and now I cannot start reading because it was too sad. *Also, I absolutely adore your idea that all the books should be 2nd hand because there is so much joy when you find some inscription inside these books, whether you have inherited them from your family member or bought it from the street salesman. It can literally transport you to another time and space. You start imagining what their life looked like and what emotions they were experiencing when giving that particular book to someone special. *Pro tip - if you can't remember descriptions and characters, just underline that parts if it is not too visually unpleasant for you. And yes, they should put more pictures, maps, characters introductions and additional pages π
The dust cover drives me nuts. Utter useless for how libraries are handling books. You have some very valid points in your observations. /Approved by a professional librarian
