Kevin the Bored
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3 Decisions decisions
🕑 Added 2023-03-24 12:46:35 +0000 UTCIf you asked Noah what it was like working for the PRT, he would tell you that he's just glad he was born in Ohio, because even if the job of being a PRT director was a massive headache most of the time, he could at least take solace in the fact that he doesn't have to deal with half the shit the other directors complain about.
Hell, it wasn't that long ago that poor Armstrong had to deal with that 'Boston Games' incident, and what a shitshow that was.
But not here in Ohio, other than those Orchard assholes, most of the capes 'round here tend not to be so violent. The only downside of that is that it means the villains aren't killing each other, leaving our Hero to Villain ratio almost as bad as Brockton Bay, and isn't that just a scary thought.
However, the other shoe always has to drop, and the report on the table in front of him tells Noah that his days of relative peace are under threat of coming to an end.
"So what you're telling me is, a probably cape powered cannibal is on it's way to Columbus, and we know nothing about them?"
Noah looks around the room after he's finished speaking, taking in the sight of his advisors and heads of various divisions of the PRT, the only cape present being the leader of the local Protectorate, Bungee.
"Well, I wouldn't say we know nothing, I've already gotten our Thinkers on the job of finding out as much as possible-"
Before the young upstart, Duncan, can finish his sentence, Bungee cuts him off with a wry smile, "'Our Thinkers'? Just say you asked Cousin, no need to act like we have Watchdog on call."
It takes some effort for Noah to keep a straight face at the pinched expression Duncan makes. Honestly though, the young man tries far too hard to make himself sound more important than he is. 'Our Thinkers' he says.
We have one thinker, Cousin, and he isn't even that good at reconnaissance since all his power does is tell them about whoever they make contact with, from body type to their favourite food. He makes a great therapist but in the world of capes all he is really good for is violating those 'unwritten rules'.
As an aside, he chose his name because he claims that only a cousin could possibly know so much about you even when you don't remember shit about them.
Duncan's voice startles Noah out of his thoughts, bringing his attention back to the meeting at hand.
"*Ahem* Point is, we do not know nothing." Duncan says with mild embarrassment that bleeds into irritation as Bungee once again speaks up before he can say more.
"Then would you mind telling us what we Do know, instead of wasting our time?" Bungee could not be more obvious in his goading and Noah idly wonders why he is so upset with Duncan.
Pushing down his irritation, Duncan acquiesces and starts properly briefing us on what we know about this supposed cannibal.
"What we know is that their first victims were likely a mother daughter pair living in Utica. The two of them, Ashley Abel, the mother and Lusia Abel the daughter, disappeared one week ago today, Miss Abel didn't show up for work and was later reported missing, to compound with this, one Markus Finch was also reported missing at around the same time and his truck stolen.
"Following tire tracks of Mr Finch's last known location we were able to discover the culprits general direction, following which Mr Finch's body was discovered dismembered and thrown into the foliage beside the road. The body was at least three days old by the time forensics found it and they say that his limbs were ripped off of the body and his torso was also opened in a similar fashion, though only his heart was missing. From this at least we can give a tentative Brute 2 for being able to rip limbs off with sheer strength."
A few of the people present wince slightly at the gory description, and some even turn green as they open the manila folder and see the photo's taken by forensics.
"Further down the same road, another pair of dead were discovered, a father and daughter this time. They were both found dead in the same room with the same cause of death, a crushing of the neck, once again proving that Brute 2 is a minimum. However, only the daughter, one Taylor Laborne, was mutilated, having one of her legs ripped off.
"From the information available, I believe that our cannibal must have triggered some time between one week and one month ago, following which they engaged in cannibalism, likely devouring Miss Abel and her daughter in their entirety, but it is possible that only the mother was eaten and that the daughter was kidnapped instead-"
Noah can't help but interrupt at that last bit of information.
"Wait, what do you mean kidnapped? Where could this information possibly have come from?"
"Ah, that," Duncan says with a snap of his fingers, "after Mr and Miss Laborne were found and this case opened, I sent Cousin to Miss Abel's flat, since their disappearances happened at around the same time as Markus Finch's and he discovered that while the flat had been cleaned, there was still some blood left on the walls and carpet and he used his power to confirm the identity of who the blood belonged to, however there was only Miss Ashley's blood left and none of the daughters, meaning she might have been unharmed."
With that out of the way, Noah signals for Duncan to continue, which he does with a nod.
"As I was saying, it is likely that Miss Ashley was completely eaten, and then Mr Finch was only half eaten, following which the Labornes were hardly touched in comparison. This leads me to believe that the first instance was out of starvation, either physical or mental, but with the later victims, I fear that they are becoming more... picky."
The already sombre mood quickly plummets as everybody realises the implications of a picky cannibal.
After all, if they only want specific parts, then they will have to kill more people to get their fill. Quite the frightening prospect.
"This new cape is clearly still figuring things out, it would be best if we can put a stop to them as soon as possible. Do we have any idea where they may be now?" The head of the troopers demands.
"Ah.. about that. Judging from the age of the bodies and the direction of the vehicle.. it's quite likely that they are already here, in Columbus." One of the techies hesitantly responds.
Following which, orders are given and plans are made, after all, it's best to capture this new cape while they are still young and making mistakes.
Still, Noah couldn't help but worry. Even now, that monster is walking around his city and all he can do worry and fear about what heinous acts they could be committing right this very moment.
The only comfort he can find is the hope that they will have this cannibal behind bars by weeks end.
...
Man, even ice cream tastes like shit.
Wait, do you think you can make human flavoured ice cream?
It shouldn't be too hard actually, to make a blood slushy or something.
Eh, I'll think about it later.
It does really suck though, see, after I arrived in a city, Columbus, the first thing I did was find some place to sleep, which was as simple as finding an abandoned house and breaking in.
But after that, I finally took a moment to just 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 and relax. Naturally, that was when I had a 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘳 panic attack.
I guess I was running on adrenaline or something, maybe shock. I mean, I 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 my 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳!
How fucked up is that? Then what, I just went about my day? Killed another guy then two more for what was basically no reason whatsoever.
I think I was just in shock or something, maybe. It's not like I really regret any of it, well, I regret killing my mom obviously, but I didn't really do that consciously, so it doesn't count.
However, I am a little.. miffed? That I was so casual about becoming a murderer. I mean, I always knew I was fucked up, my mom knew it as well, even if she never liked it. But to accept being a murderer so easily? Well, if I had any hope that there was still some humanity inside of me, it's safe to say that hope is lost.
Well, no point in dwelling on things I don't like to think about. Instead, it is more important that I figure out what the fuck am I going to do with my life now?
I mean, I can hardly even be called human anymore and I don't exactly have someone I can leech off of anymore to live like a NEET.
Not that I want to now that I have 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴. No, I want something 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. I'm just not entirely sure what exactly it is that I want yet.
Well, let's go over what I need. First there is food, which has a whole lot of problems attached to it, then there's shelter and preferably some luxuries as well, Wi-Fi, comfy clothes and furniture, shit like that.
Now, most of that can be solved with money, though I think it will probably be easier to get the food myself, unless you can just, like, buy body parts from hospitals or morgues or something.
Now, money. How do you make money? You get a job. Fuck working some shitty normie job though, I have 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴. I 'ain't gonna be some desk jockey.
So, how does a cape make money? I could join the protectorate. I have no idea what they get paid, but going off what they offer to the Wards and the probably considerable 'hazard pay' as well as the fact that the incentives have to be good enough to stop people from turning villain, I'd imagine they are paid well.
There is only one problem with that however, you see, I really, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hate being told what to do. I value my freedom above all things, hence why I refused to get some shitty job beforehand, because I didn't want to work nine to five and that is enough reason for me.
With that in mind, working for a, most likely heavily regulated, governmental organisation is probably not something that would work out long term.
Like, I have had a job once, working in a Sooubway and I lasted all of two weeks before I was contemplating suicide and decided that it'd be best to quit.
Well, I say quit, but I decided it would be more fun to get fired instead, so I just started giving free shit away to everyone who came in, I still remember those times fondly, 'Oh, you only want a six inch sub? Sure, but would you like a free muffin and maybe a few cookies? I'm getting fired so it's on the house.'
Unsurprisingly, everyone was rather receptive of my aggressive charity. Aggressive because if they would refuse I would just keep offering shit until they accepted something.
Ahh, fun times.
With all that in mind, it seems I will have to use the other method for capes to make money, which is to say, crime.
A shiver of excitement spreads through my body at the thought.
𝘈𝘩𝘩, 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘥.
