Kevin the Bored
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33 Sun Tzu is Wise
🕑 Added 2023-04-23 21:47:14 +0000 UTC"I..."
The tension in the room is palpable as the Heroes await my grand proclamation.
"Surrender!~" I chirp, completely ruining the mood of the room as my arms keep raising until they are in the classic surrendering pose, while my tails dissipate, returning to my body.
Silence befalls the room for a moment, only broken by the man I recognise as Epic's deadpan voice.
"...what." He says as I hop down from the counter, leaving my cards there.
"I surrender~ you have bested me truly~ your Heroic visage is simply too intimidating for a small little villain like me, so I have surrendered in my cowardice.~"
I say before dramatically holding a hand to my chest and doing a half spin, collapsing on my back as if I just got shot by an arrow in a Shakespeare play while throwing the handful of cash I grabbed earlier at Epic's face.
Truly, my acting is impeccable.
Unfortunately the moment is ruined by the Alexandria wannabe who huffs out a breath and puffs her chest out, as if she did something.
"As you should. Now don't resist." She says as she pulls out a pair of handcuffs, and I do not resist, allowing her to pull me to my feet and start dragging me out of the bank.
Epic finds his way to my other side, making for a rather impressive escort that I probably couldn't escape even if I wanted to.
Good thing I don't want to escape then.
"So, is this a trap?" Epic says, garnering my attention and making me smile wryly, "because this feels like a trap."
ππΆπ΅ π΅πΆπ΅ π΅πΆπ΅.
Clicking my tongue at him, I do my best to give him a look of distain, which is difficult when being woman-handled, raising my head to look down on him, even though he's taller than me.
"Did you not pay π’π―πΊ attention to the great Sun Tzu?~ If you did you would know that he said "The wise warrior avoids the battle.", I am simply being wise~ Sun Tzu says so."
Epic snorts before quickly straightening out and pretending he never broke composure.
"I think you might be misinterpreting his words slightly." He says with audible amusement which I mirror.
"What is there to interpret?~ He says it's wise to avoid battle, I just avoided a battle and thus I am wise.~" I say, my logic beyond refute, as proven by Epic who does not refute it, simply shaking his head instead.
We make it outside the bank and are immediately assaulted by the stares on a large number of people, including the flashing of cameras from some people who I assume to be press.
Almost without even thinking about it, I go to wave, only for the cuffs around my wrists to clank behind me back, stopping me and making both the Heroes heads snap towards me.
Under their cautious stares I just shrug one arm before leaning slightly closer to Epic and whispering to me.
"Psst hey, my hands are kind of occupied, would you mind waving to my fans for me?~"
Epic's face, or what I can see of it, turns to stone, metaphorically, as he wills himself not to make any kind of expression. A brief look over my other shoulder tells me why as the girl boss is giving him a rather intense glare.
Looking forward, I talk to myself under my breath, purposefully speaking loud enough that they can barely hear me anyway.
"Such an intense glare~ I bet she could make bank stepping on people and making them call her mommy.~"
Epic's composure breaks as be barks out a single laugh before regaining control of himself, Ashurbanipal (what a mouthful) meanwhile responds by gripping mar arm hard enough that I'm pretty sure it would have turned to mush if I was a normie.
Haaah~ so easy to rile up.
Conversation pretty much dies out there and it's not long later that the PRT prison transport shows up and Ashpal literally throws me into the back of it, my foot catching on the edge of the van for a moment and from the feel of it, fracturing slightly, not that I so much as flinch.
I could probably sue for that, not that I know anything at all about laws or how they work.
I've never been one to be told what to do in the first place anyway, but needs must I suppose.
A short and rather uncomfortable drive later and the doors open once again, only this time it's to the sight of a dozen PRT troopers decked out in their full gear.
PRT troopers look even more intimidating than the SWAT teams do, with their featureless full face masks and black body armour, not to mention the fact that they are visible armed.
Right now half of them are pointing foam guns at me that shoot out the PRT's famed containment foam, designed by Dragon herself it is said to be capable of subduing the toughest of brutes with how sticky it is and the fact that it hardens almost immediately, leaving anyone sprayed with it stuck for a good while.
Speaking of being stuck, there are also three Heroes standing there with the two lines of troopers.
Two of them are obviously Epic in his red suite and Banban in a more grey and boring bodysuit, both flyers just with Epic having lasers while Ashu has to beat people with her fists like a true girl boss.
The other cape present surprises me slightly, as if I'm not mistaken, it is Bungee, the current leader of the Columbus Protectorate, even though his power isn't that strong.
However he makes up for that by being smart and skilled, or so I've heard.
Really, he doesn't look that intimidating, wearing a casual brown pants and belt combo paired with a simple white tee and matching brown jacket.
Even his mask is unassuming, being just a simple looking lower face mask.
If I saw him on the street, I probably wouldn't even know he's a cape.
Well, that's obviously a lie since all capes smell barely palatable, so it doesn't really matter what he looks like.
Still, his power is a tricky one, but it should also be easy to counter if it comes down to a fight, since his power needs physical contact as only his hands spawn the weird glowing pink substance that apparently has 'both the properties of rubber and gum'.
Not to mention his power isn't exactly subtle, so I'm sure it'll be fine if we do end up in a fight, not that that's the plan.
Whistling at the display, I poke my head to either side, as if looking for someone important.
"My my~ don't tell me that you're all here for little old me?~ I'm honoured.~" I chirp down at them, much to their apparent dissatisfaction.
Except for Epic of course, he gives me a quick smile instead, the charmer.
"Indeed we are Tear, now if you would please follow us, Ashurbanipal and Epic will lead you to a cell." Bungee says, motioning with his head for me to start walking, which I do.
A pair of troopers follow us as the two Heroes flank me, bringing me through several grey halls before arriving at an elevator.
The elevator itself is smooth and clinical, looking very high tech, something that is further enhanced by the grid of lasers that suddenly shoot out of it's sides and wash over our bodies a few times, presumably scanning us.
"So fancy~ it's like a James Bond movie.~" I whisper, garnering opposing reactions from the pair, each with one of my arms in their grasps.
The elevator seemed to just close and open, the ride was so smooth that I hardly even noticed that we moved.
'Banipal gives me a shove and I start moving out of the elevator, entering another hallway, this one lines with at least two doors on either side that I presume are holding cells.
But not only that, there are also a metric fuck ton of laser's that are gridding and scanning the whole hallway.
Honestly, it's a bit much.
"There are probably more efficient bug zappers you know?" I say with a strained voice.
Seriously, I compared it to a James Bond movie earlier, but that would be a sever underestimation. There really are way too many laser's here.
"Acro might have gotten a bit carried away designing it." Epic says with a wry smile, only to wince as Palpal elbows him in the side behind me.
"Don't engage the villain." She says, making me think that someone really needs to wrench that stick out of her ass.
"No need to get jealous Ashibanipani~ you'll always hold the number one position in my heart.~" I say to no response.
Dang, I was hoping for at least some kind of reaction. Then again, I don't really know what face she's making behind her visor, so maybe her eyebrows are twitching madly and she's just hiding it really well?
Imma go with that, because it makes me feel better about myself.
We arrive in front of a cell and the door swishes open on it's own, revealing a small room, probably only six foot by six foot with a bed that is little more than a mattress placed on a slab of folded metal while the 'toilet' could more be compared to a urinal dug into the ground while the walls are all a dull grey.
How inviting.
The walls are also incredibly thick, as a glance to the doorway shows me, easily a foot and a half thick.
To my surprise, the pair of heroes both take a step backwards while the two troopers both move forward, one of them unlocking my cuffs while the other takes off their helmet, revealing them to be a woman.
I would have been surprised, since the full body armour doesn't really give away gender, but I could smell the woman all over her.
That was a strange way of phrasing that.
After my hands are free, that trooper wonders off, doing whatever, while the now helmetless woman opens her mouth.
"Enter the cell." She says, voice taciturn and to the point.
Shrugging my shoulders in response to her professionalism, I do as told and walk into the cell, only to be surprised again as the woman walks in with me and after receiving a bundle from the now returned trooper, closes the door behind us.
Alone in here with her, I can't think of what I should be doing so I panic slightly and say the first thing that comes to mind.
"Don't tell me you've got a thing for bad girls?~ But we've only just met~ I'm not ready!~ But if it's you..." I say, squirming and cupping my cheeks as I twist around myself.
I feel a great deal of satisfaction watching the woman struggle to retain her professionalism.
"Strip." She commands, clearly falling back on her training to avoid having to think.
"My~ so forward~ well, if that's what you want.~" I say as suggestively as I can, doing my darndest to be seductive.
With this game in mind, I start slowly and sensually peeling off my clothes, making sure to make as much of a show of it as I possibly can.
Once I start to smell the her blood rushing to her face, I count it as my win as a faint blush starts to form right as I begin stepping out of my underwear, revealing my incredibly sexy body, and that is a completely unbiased opinion I will take no criticism.
"Like what you see?~" I whisper with a wink as I run one of my hands down my chest, the other poised on my hip as I lean slightly forward to properly accentuate my assets.
Unfortunately, she simply powers through, relying on professionalism to ignore my words.
She hands me a change of clothes. A pair of boring grey coverings consisting of a loose pair of pants and an equally lose tee.
After carful deliberation, I decide not to potentially delay my grand show just for a little fun here and put on the outfit without any further teasing.
"You may keep your mask, but I must inspect it first, so please put this on and then pass me your mask." She says, handing me a bag which I put over my head without fuss.
Heh, jokes on you, I have double layered masks!
No point in revealing that though, so I do as told, handing over my mask and putting it back on under the bag once she is done checking for whatever she is checking for.
That done, I take of the bag to see the woman collecting all of my belongings and knocking on the door, only stopping to get the bag back from me before she speed walks away.
Funny.
Unfortunately, I don't get the chance to say anything after that as the door slams shut in front of me, leaving me alone.
Not really knowing what to do, I just stand there for a moment, before simply sitting down on the 'bed'.
Boredom quickly sets in and I flop backwards, hoping to get some sleep to pass the time quicker.
Ten minutes later and I am coming to terms with the fact that I just got myself locked up alone without even a deck of cards to play with.
How lame~ who thought this was a good idea?
This sucks.
