Kevin the Bored
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34 Interesting Conversation 2 Electric Boogaloo
🕑 Added 2023-04-24 22:23:59 +0000 UTCAfter spending some time sitting around, bored out of my mind, the door to my cell eventually whirred open after maybe an hour to show yet another faceless PRT trooper pair.
"Please follow us." One of them says, motioning for me to follow, which I do, not bothering with saying anything with such a lacklustre audience.
A minute later and I am sitting in a slightly larger room with a single metal table welded to the floor and a chair on either side of it, with a small stack of them in the corner.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this is an interrogation room, so I take a seat on one of the chairs and kick my legs up onto the table as I relax and wait for my interviewer.
Honestly, I'm kind of disappointed so far, not only does my prison uniform not have the classic black bars, but this interrogation rove doesn't even have the classic one way mirror.
They have no respect for tradition here.
Thankfully, I don't have to wait too long before the door is opened again and I am pleasantly surprised to see the persons who enter.
First through the door is Bungee, leader of the local Protectorate. He takes the seat opposite me with only a small, friendly smile as greeting.
Following him is a woman that I don't recognise from sight alone, but a bit of deductive reasoning, mostly around the fact that I have met all the other women in the local Protectorate bar the dragon, and she doesn't look very draconic.
Thus, I figure that the lithe Asian woman is Kitsune, with the power of 'fox fire', which from what I can gather is just normal fire but blue.
Interestingly enough, Kitsune's costume is similarly casual and mundane like Bungee's is, though her mask has more decal than his, being a detailed fox mask covering her upper face, allowing me to see her neutral frown.
As I am observing them, so are they observing me and as Kitsune gets a chair from the corner to join Bungee opposite me, we seem to enter a little game of who speaks first.
Naturally, I like to win my games, so I wait for them to start, however they appear to be pretty willing to wait as well.
It takes a minute or so of us just looking at each other before one of them speaks, though I get the feeling that it was more because it's their job rather than because they couldn't handle the silence.
"I'm curious Tear. So far you activities in this city have been limited to", here he pauses, letting the silence linger as he circles one of his hands, as if trying to find the words, "𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 vigilantism." He finishes.
Nodding along with his words, I glance to Kitsune as Bungee takes a breath to keep talking, noting how she seems to be ignoring the situation entirely, leaning her head back and staring at the ceiling.
However, I do notice when her eyes glance down to meet my own and we hold a stare down for just a moment before she goes back to studying the ceiling.
"But now, all of a sudden you seem to turn away from your life of vigilantism, doing a poor excuse of robbing a back just to surrender as soon as a Hero showed up. Why is that? Guilty conscience get to you?"
Bungee's finishing words get an unexpected laugh out of me as soon as he says them, and I can't hold back the ridicule in my voice as I respond to him.
"Guilty? Hah! What a laugh, guilty. What do I have to be guilty of?" I ask with mocking, blatantly ignoring what happened with mom, but that was a one time thing so it doesn't count.
But other than that? What have I done to be guilty of? Killing murderers and criminals? They should be paying me.
...Then again, I guess there was that one guy right after mom... and those two after him.. also what I did to Equaliser might have been a bit much.
But other than all those things! I'm practically a saint!
"You've murdered over a dozen people in the nearly two months you've been active in Columbus." He says, voice dry and accusing at the same time.
His words hang in the air for a moment as the both of them look at me expectantly, Kitsune raising a single eyebrow in a way that makes her amusement abundantly clear.
In lieu of responding, I decide to ardently study the wall to my right, however, Bungee isn't done speaking.
"And that's just the confirmed kills, there are another few dozen murders you are under suspicion of, making for a total of around forty dead. That's an average of more than one victim every other day."
Hey now, a girls gotta eat.
Heh, I'm 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 not saying that.
Apparently I didn't hide my amusement at my own thoughts well enough if the sudden tightening around their eyes is anything to go by.
Ah well, might as well roll with it. With that in mind, I relax back into my seat, and favour the pair of them my own amused stare.
"Well, what can I say?~ I only killed bad men~ the sum total of lives lost this year has probably actually gone down a little bit by getting rid of them~ so you are welcome~ feel free to thank me anytime.~" I say with a visible smirk, raising my arms to cradle the back of my head in a picture of relaxation.
Bungee frowns at my response, clearly not having as much fun as I am.
I mean honestly, the excitement is getting to me a little.
Logically, I know that nothing much is really happening right now, or liable to happen for a short while yet, but the anticipation is 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 me here.
At least in the cell there wasn't anything to remind me of what's to come, but here it's all I can think about!
𝘊𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬
Ahhh~
Everyone's eyes snap to my hand, hovering slightly beside my head with a freshly broken middle finger.
Oops, guess I got a little too excited again.
"Well anyway!" I say, changing the subject, "weren't we supposed to be talking about my vicious crime of robbing a bank and the subsequent surrender therein?~"
However, contrary to my desires, the exact opposite happens as Kitsune surprises both of us by speaking up for the first time.
"Not just yet, I have some questions of my own." She says, earning a hard stare from Bungee that tells me that this was not revised.
Seeing as I'm not really in a position to say no, I just incline my head in response, something she only really waits for out of politeness.
"Would the names Taylor Laborne and James Laborne mean anything to you?" She asks in a tone that makes me think she is pretending to not care about the answer.
Then again, she could be pretending to be pretending, I don't know this woman.
But anyway, I have never heard those names before in my life, so naturally I choose to lie.
"Oh yeah, didn't they write the declaration of independence?" I say with the kind of confidence only seen in the terminally stupid.
Neither of them laugh at my joke, instead seeming to just choose to ignore it.
"How about Markus Finch?" She continues.
"That's the guy who discovered milk right? Wonder what he was doing down there?" Comes my blasé response.
However Kitsune powers through my bullshit and speaks again and her next words stop my thoughts dead.
"What about Ashley and Lusia Abel?" She asks, and the first thought that comes to mind is that I can't show a different reaction.
The second thought that comes to mind is that pausing to think is a differing reaction and so my third thought is to say something stupid again.
"Didn't they star in Ilsa the She-Wolf?" I say, accidentally insulting myself.
I know I wanted to say something stupid, but why the fuck was 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 the first thing that came to mind?
I sure hope this isn't some Freudian slip, otherwise I'm going to have to head over to the Nazi capital of America to have some very awkward conversations.
More importantly than fucked up cinema, why the fuck is she asking about me? And what was with the other names? Something like asking lots of questions so you ask without thinking?
Seriously, what does my original identity have to do with anything?
But no matter how much I want to know, I know that I can't ask, lest I risk more suspicion.
With that in mind, I open my mouth, only belatedly realising that I completely missed whatever facial expressions Kitsune made while I was monologuing, making me panic slightly about letting something slip.
"Come on~ give me something harder.~" I say, my practiced voice brining me a measure of calm as I fall back into the role of Tear the Clown, deciding to just forget about that and think about it later, when I'm not with company.
Thankfully, Kitsune takes a back seat once again, leaning back with a hum and letting Bungee take over again.
"𝘈𝘩𝘦𝘮, right then. Back to the beginning. To get straight to the point this time, for what reason did you want to surrender yourself as a villain?" Bungee says, his voice stern, as if he isn't expecting me to say any more random shit.
Luckily for him, he's right, since answering this question is literally the only reason I'm here in the first place.
"Simple." I say, taking my feet off of the table and leaning my elbows on it instead. "Security."
"Security?" He parrots in confusion.
Raising my arms slightly in a half shrug, I lean back into my chair as I respond.
"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I might have kinda accidentally slightly annoyed a gang or two just a teeny tiny bit~ and now I fear for my own life~ I certainly can't fight them myself after all,~ so I thought, who could keep me safe from the dastardly villains? Who 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 keep me safe?"
Here I make sure to give the pair the finger guns as I keep talking, purposefully allowing a slight, barely noticeable quiver to enter my voice, knowing that the better I hide it the more believable it will be.
"I came to the conclusion that the only way I'm not dying was if the brave Heroes protected me, but I was unwilling to risk bureaucracy getting in the way of my immediate safety, and figured a cell here was better than anywhere out there~ and so here I am!~"
Step three of operation: Virgin Circus is a go!
As a side note, the name is about it being my first proper 'play', it is not a statement on any of the 'actors'' sexual activity.
"You think the gangs are coming for you? Seriously enough that you would rather be in a prison cell than out on the streets? Do you have a reason to believe you are being hunted, beyond just the simple facts of what you've done?" Bungee asks, rapid fire.
Nodding my head, I answer the only question that wasn't rhetoric, barely managing to keep the laughter out of my voice as I do so, since it is very ironic for me to be answering this.
"Yup~ I have a friend who's good at keeping an ear to the ground and I trust them when they brought up my mortal peril.~" I say, dying of laughter on the inside.
Obviously I know that they are out to get me. Hell, I know exactly 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 and likely 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 they are going to come for me as well.
It's only natural, since I'm the one tipping them off.
With a great sigh, Bungee gets to his feet, Kitsune following his lead.
"Someone will be here shortly to ask you some more in depth questions. In the meantime, do you have anything else you'd like to say before we go?" He generously asks.
I think for a moment, putting a finger to my chin as I ponder what I could ask for that they would reasonably give me, until I come to the obvious conclusion.
"I wouldn't mind a deck of cards to play with so I don't die of boredom?" I ask.
"I'll see what I can do." Bungee responds with the smile of an angel before turning to leave.
However right as he is about to cross through the door, I call out to him, making him stop.
"Hey wait! One more thing. Do you think I could get some clothes with the proper black and white stripes?~ I just want this to all feel more authentic you know?~"
He just huffs and leaves without responding, closing the door behind me.
Left alone with my thoughts, they eventually wonder back to the near future.
𝘈𝘩𝘩𝘯~ I can't wait.
𝘊𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬!
