Kevin the Bored
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50 Magic is Fun
🕑 Added 2023-05-10 22:51:08 +0000 UTCWaking up, I feel refreshed and ready for another long drive, but I decide to walk around a bit first, to see if there's anything I want to buy with this bag full of money that I just so happened to find in my room with me.
With that plan in mind, I get my backpack that has all my stuff, with my costume buried at the bottom and I get dressed in a nice rosy red sundress that matches surprisingly well with my re-dyed auburn hair.
Not my usual style I'll admit, but a sundress takes up less space in my Bag of Belongings™.
I don't really feel a need to bother with disguises, because while I did admit to being a cannibal, I never admitted to being Lusia Abel and they never saw my face, so I'm probably not being looked for.
Especially since I'm under the assumption that 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 are under the assumption that I killed, uh, me.
What a weird sentence.
Anyway, with that done, I grab both of my bags, the money being too plentiful to transfer to a single bag, and head out of the room to check out of the motel.
I take the car with me further to the centre of town, where all the shops are and find an out of the way place to park it again and start my roaming once more, only taking a few handfuls of cash instead of the whole bag, because that would be stupid and I am well known for my good decision making.
Note the sarcasm.
Though I do bring my other bag, so I'm only leaving behind my money. I make sure to lock the car and then double check it before I leave, just in case.
Ah well, a life lived on purely good decisions sounds boring as hell.
If shit doesn't go sideways every now and then, then where's the fun?
Gotta have a bit of unpredictability in your life.
Humming to myself as I wonder around, I take note of how few people there actually are, maybe a couple dozen or so in sight around me, despite being the literal centre of the town.
The difference between here and Columbus is certainly notable, though I think it might be even more jarring once I reach the city of oversized apples.
Or is that singular? I know the city got it's nickname from some guy ages ago who noticed a big apple or something, but I have no idea if there was only the one.
Why do I even care?
With that last random thought, I am brought back to the real world as I spy something interesting.
A magic shop!
There's an idea, I spent so much time and effort learning magic tricks and slight of hand yet I've only ever used those skills to cheat in poker.
With a smile on my face, I enter the little ramshackle store, making a little bell jingle as I do so.
I am immediately greeted by a plethora of novelty items, from finger traps to marbles to- is that a whoopie cushion?
At the end of the store is what can only be described as a stereotypical old magic store owner.
The old man meets my eyes from behind a counter, his fancy suit and bowtie matching his widows peak receding hairline as if he was born to sit where he does now.
"Yo!~" I greet as I walk up to him, raising one arm in a two fingered wave.
"To what do I owe the pleasure young lady? Have you an interest in the arcane?" The old man replies, straightening in his seat as he does so.
"Eh, not really." I bluntly answer, making his eyebrows twitch, "I do like cards though, mind selling me a deck or four?"
With a wry smile he seems to flip a switch, clearly realising that I don't really care about the whole 'spooky kooky magic' shiz.
"This 𝘪𝘴 a shop young miss, I'll be happy to sell you whatever you desire." He says as he leans to the side slightly and grabs four decks of cards, placing them on the counter.
"Whatever I desire?" I ask with a mischievous smile, "in that case, I want to buy your bowtie."
His face twitches slightly more violently this time as he clearly struggles to keep his face professional.
"I'll be happy to sell you whatever has a price tag." He corrects, nodding down to the decks of cards, though I do note that he hasn't scanned them or typed anything into the till like you normally would, but I don't think further on it as I am having fun messing with him.
Silently and deliberately, open the little plastic covers that hold the price tags for the things on the counter and take one of them out, his eyes never leaving mine the whole time as I move forward and attatch the tag to his bowtie.
Both of us stare at each other in silence, neither one of our faces so much as twitching as I lean back and pretend to look around for a moment before jumping slightly, as if shocked to find something I was looking for.
Then I point to his bowtie, and in a voice lacking any inflection I speak.
"Ah. A bowtie. Exactly what I was looking for. I'd like that one please."
He doesn't respond and we hold eye contact for a moment longer before his irritated voice sounds out.
"Get the hell out of my shop." He says without heat, his face contorting into one of amused irritation.
I just smile and let out a short chuckle in return, before actually looking around for anything interesting to buy.
"Uhhh, I'd also like one of those" I say, pointing to what basically looks like eyeliner, but I assume is more used for face paint stuff, "and some of that too." I finish, this time pointing at the silly string behind him.
What? I might find a use for it, who knows?
Better to be prepared than not.
"Anything else?" He asks after gathering it all and I ponder for a moment, checking around the store for anything that catches my eye.
Fortunately, I do happen to see something interesting, and I add it to the pile of stuff with a grin.
"That will be $28.37, after tax." He says even though he still hasn't rung anything up, making me raise an eyebrow.
"First off, I don't pay taxes. Secondly, how do you even know how much it is? You never put the things in the machine." I say, gesturing to the unused till.
"Young Lady." He huffs, "I have been working here for thirty five years. I know every price like the back of my hand. I can do the math in my head. If you don't trust it, feel free to count."
When he finishes speaking, he turns to see me staring intently at the back of my own hand.
"Huh, there are more veins there than I though there were. You must look at your hands a lot then, to know the store so well."
I briefly enjoy the way he stares uncomprehendingly at my rather odd response, but I don't wait for his brain to catch up, and just smack a handful of cash that I didn't bother to count but is probably more than enough down on the counter.
"Welp, I'll take your word for it Mr Geriatric. See ya!~" I say, quickly gathering my stuff and turning to leave, fast enough that I only hear is shouted response once I'm one foot out of the door.
"I'm not that old!!"
Heh.
With that out of the way, I set out to have some fun before the long, boring drive ahead of me and make my way to the most travelled part of the little town.
There are a good dozen or two people walking around here, so it seems good enough.
First thing I do is walk up to a parked car and take out the eyeliner pencil and proceed to use the wingmirror to help me draw two clown tears, one under each of my eyes, then just for the added distance I add the classic long triangles above each eye.
With my face successfully clownified, I move to the middle of the street, thankful that cars are supposed to keep to the edges to allow more walk space here.
Now, I know that wearing the tear makeup is probably not a good idea, but I'm not in costume and am genuinely just doing magic, so no one will make the connection.
Probably.
Hey, that's why I added the triangles anyway! My mask...
...Damnit, my mask does have a triangle above the left eye.
Eh, oh well.
I'm sure it will be fine.
Focusing back on the world at large, I notice that some people have taken notice of me and I give them each a wide smile before equipping my brand spanking new, genuine magicians top hat.
Turning to the people closest to me, a young couple from the looks of it, both with brown hair and average features. No doubt when they are older they are going to live in a suburban house with a picket fence, a dog and two point three children.
"Greetings friends! Lovely day don't you think? How about a magic trick to make the day even better hmm?~" I exclaim, moving in front of them, but not so much that I am blocking their way.
After all, if you're too pushy then it will make people instinctively want to say no. If you don't give them a way out of an encounter, then they will seek one, even if they would otherwise enjoy said encounter.
They briefly glance to each other, unspoken words being not spoken, before the woman, probably about a year younger than me, pushes her boyfriend forward a little bit, volunteering him to speak.
Naturally, he has little choice then but to acquiesce, not that he seems particularly upset by the fact.
"Sure, I've never actually seen any magic in person." He says with a smile.
"Excellent!" I cheer with exuberance, enjoying myself.
"In that case!~" I say as I bring out a deck of cards and fan them out in front of me, "pick a card, any card~".
He does and I quickly close the deck and speak up again.
"Now, memorise it and show it to your girlfriend but don't let me see! Good! Now slide it back in the deck, anywhere you want.~"
He does so and I shuffle it in a manner that seems very thorough, but really isn't.
Then, with a flourish, I flick one card out of the deck and catch it in the air, holding it to myself for a moment before I dramatically reveal it to the pair.
"Is~ 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 your card!?" I proclaim, head held high with pride and smile wide.
"...uhhh, no. It's not." The guys says awkwardly, clearly having debated with himself simply lying and saying I got it right.
What a nice fellow.
"Aw shucks!" I exclaim disappointedly, kicking the ground with a pout on my face.
Right as they are about to say something else however, I suddenly snap my finger and raise my head, as if I just realised something amazing.
"Wait a minute! Of course I don't have your card!~ After all, I can only imagine that your heart only belongs to 𝘰𝘯𝘦 woman." I say with understanding before turning to the girlfriend.
"Would you mind checking your pockets? Maybe your left one? Just as a wild guess with no basis in fact?" My voice clearly shows that I already know the answer.
Yet, as expected, she frantically checks her pockets before pulling out an ace of hearts.
"Was that your card?~" I ask pointlessly as the guy just nods dumbly, clearly impressed.
Then the girl suddenly jumps him and kisses him, clearly affected by my words of romance.
Man, aren't I just the best wingwoman?
After they both calm down a bit more, the guy turns back to me with a smile and a look in his eyes that I just know tells of his appreciation for my act.
"That was impressive, do you accept tips?" He asks with a smile that I reciprocate as I take off my top hat and flip it in front of him while I whisper under my breath.
"Oh, I can accept more than just the 𝘵𝘪𝘱."
"What?" He says, his hand pausing where it is depositing some notes in my hat.
"What?" I echo, refusing to acknowledge the words that slipped out.
For the next couple of hours, I spent my time practicing my magic tricks, gathering quite the crowd and actually making a decent bit of money.
Hell, I could probably actually make a living just from doing this.
Not a very lavish living granted, but a living nonetheless.
Ah well, you know what they say, places to be, people to kill.
Not that I have anyone in mind, but I'm sure something will come up eventually.
