Kevin the Bored
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54 Too Tired to Think of a Title
🕑 Added 2023-05-15 11:41:23 +0000 UTCThe question of finding something to do is actually a whole lot easier to solve than you might think, thanks in no small part to the Teeth.
You see, the Teeth are a gang of anarchists and sadistic psychopaths, mostly edgy teenagers and young adults really, lead by the Butcher.
And while the Teeth themselves aren't really too much to write home about, the Butcher certainly is, as their power is simply that should they be killed, their consciousness, as well as any powers they have, will be transferred to their killer, then that killer becomes the new Butcher and leads the Teeth.
Thus, the cycle continues, likely indefinitely.
Thankfully, the powers that get carried over get watered down slightly, otherwise they would be hella powerful with all the super strengths they have stacking with each other.
Right now they are at Butcher XIII, who only recently succeeded the position, which is nice, because it means he might not be too insane yet.
After all, the Butcher has the voices of all the other Butchers in their head, and just considering the fact that Butcher one and two managed to drive Butcher three to suicide in a πΈπ¦π¦π¬ just by themselves, having a dozen similar such voices probably won't be doing anyone's sanity any favours.
Then again, Butcher three was the only hero of the lot, so they were probably extra mean to him and his heroic sensibilities.
Either way, the important part is that you π₯π°π―'π΅ π¬πͺππ π΅π©π¦ ππΆπ΅π€π©π¦π³. Something made difficult by the fact that they will gladly kill you, and are in all likelihood fully capable of doing so, especially if you are holding back.
All in all, they are one scary motherfucker who nobody really wants to risk fighting.
...I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.
The Teeth like to bounce between Boston and New York on more or less a monthly basis and it just so happens that they were in Boston when Butcher XIII took the helm a couple of weeks ago.
In other words, they are due to arrive here in the ensuing days, and nobody is particularly happy about it, especially since the new Butcher will be wanting to make an impression, so as to give himself a reputation beyond his namesake.
Not that it will really make a difference. He is the Butcher and everyone knows exactly what that means and that's all that really matters.
Which is why I pinged a message off to Jinx asking him to let it be known that parahuman muscle is in the city and available for hire, even against the Butcher.
I've decided that it is about time I earned some honest money.
Naturally, by 'honest' I just mean money that is being given to me willingly but eh, semantics.
That was after I got back to my hotel from my earlier escapades with what's-her-face and the other one.
Now, it is the day after and I have an πͺπ―π΅π¦π³π·πͺπ¦πΈ.
I'm practically bubbling at the thought as my excitement gets the better of me.
It's just that I've never been to an interview before, and it's going to be with Uppercrust of all people, the leader of the local branch of the Elite, which is the single biggest criminal organisation in America!
ππ³π’π€π¬
Ahhh.~
I shudder from a healthy mix of pleasure and pain for a moment as I calm down from my emotional high.
Right. Focus.
I do want to give a good impression after all.
I want my Clowns to have a reputation of being reliable.
Ok, maybe reliable isn't the best word. More like π¦π§π§π¦π€π΅πͺπ·π¦.
I want people to know that if they hire us, then whatever they hire us to do will be done, just possibly at the cost of a little bit of chaos,
It's all about setting a precedent.
Take the Slaughterhouse Nine for instance, everybody knows that they are just a bunch of murder hobos who will in all likelihood torture and kill everyone they interact with.
But! There was that one time, funnily enough also involving the Teeth, over in the Nazi capital of America, Brockton Bay, when there was a bidding war for the Nine's services in killing the other bidders.
The Teeth won the bid and the Nine killed some heroes for them, then they showed how they felt about being told what to do by wiping the Teeth out, down to just the Butcher who they drove out of the city, which was their powerbase at the time.
Doing so, the Nine set a precedent.
You π€π’π― hire them, only with the understanding that once they have killed whoever you want dead, they will be coming for πΊπ°πΆ.
In other words, it's a stupid thing to do if you aren't planning on killing yourself immediately after making the offer.
Now, I actually happen to want me and my Clowns to be invited to things and to be interacted with, so I can't set that kind of precedent.
Instead, what I want people to think when considering hiring my Clowns is that we πΈπͺππ get the job done, whatever it is, the only price being a decent chance of the location experiencing a little bit of chaos.
Well, that wouldn't be the π°π―ππΊ price, obviously there would still be the money getting used to hire us, but that doesn't sound as cool.
So I am very excited for this meeting as it is an opportunity to set a precedent for my Clowns in the minds of the capes of America.
With all of that in mind, I made sure to wash my new mask (I had to get a new one after Cu crushed the old one into a fine powder via introducing my face to tarmac, it looks the same as the old one) to ensure that I am as presentable as possible.
This leads to now, as I am arriving at the meeting location, which happens to be a simple looking office building in a less populated part of the city, at four in the afternoon.
It's kind of lame that we're not having the meeting at midnight and in an abandoned warehouse with dusty crates and cobwebs under the full moon, but whatever, there's always next time.
In the interest of not being stupid, I didn't actually wear my costume the whole way here, instead I brought a it in a bag and came in normal clothes, only changing about a block away.
This is why I am shouldering a messenger bag over my classic prison outfit that has some tasteful wear and tear thanks once again to Cu, for smacking me about.
Of course, to finish the look, I am still shoeless.
With a pep in my step, I walk fearlessly through the front door of the building, noticing how it does indeed seem like an unused building, if not for the faint tracks on the floor where dust has been moved.
However, no one pops out to greet me, which means that this is either a test or a power play.. maybe both.
I decide to move forward with the assumption that it's a test, because if it's a power play then I will deal with that when the time comes. It's not like I particularly care about power plays, it honestly seems a little silly, making someone wait and for what?
So you can be all 'muahaha, you stayed over there 'cuz I told you to muaha'.
A light chuckle tries to leave my throat at the image and I don't stop it.
I do however, start scanning the area with my better senses rather than my eyes, starting with scent.
Almost immediately after focusing on the sense, I smell the odour of a parahuman nearby, but I think they must have been chilling in the room for a while because the scent trail doesn't really lead anywhere.
That problem is solved once I π³π¦π’πππΊ start focusing on my hearing.
One thing I've noticed about my enhanced senses, is that just using the word 'enhanced' feels like an understatement, something that is proven true once I start to take note of the sound of a heartbeat.
Turning in the direction of the heartbeat, I find nothing. Just an empty wall with a couple of chairs sitting against it.
Some kind of Stranger? Invisibility powers most likely, limited to sight, maybe other things but probably not.
Or it could be something else, like a projection of some kind, or maybe it's actually Uppercrust's power at play.
As these speculations pour through my head, I keep starting directly where I feel like the mystery person's eyes should be, and I feel my grin start to stretch wider as I notice the sound of his heartbeat picking up.
Not moving a muscle, I continue staring in their direction, while keeping an ear out for any other heartbeats, until a whole 5 minutes pass and they finally crack.
The space in front of me peels away in a kaleidoscope of colours and in the blink of the eye, there is now a woman standing in front of me, right where I was looking.
She is dressed in a simple black suit, with pants despite gender stereotypes, with a matching black domino mask that covers down to the tip of her nose, framed by her short and curly brown hair.
At her appearance, I jump backward slightly and bring my hands up to cover my mouth in 'shock'.
"Woah~ where did you come from!~" My voice sounds out, like a baby experiencing the wonders of object permanence for the first time.
Unfortunately, being the boring 'π±π³π°π§π¦π΄π΄πͺπ°π―π’π' that she is, she ignores my remark entirely.
Instead, she simply straightens out her jacket and turns on her heel.
"If you would please follow me." Her voice sounds rehearsed, like she's practiced the line so many times that it no longer holds any life.
"Happily!~" I exclaim, bouncing after her at a carefree skip as she leads me to an elevator.
She enters first, and I notice how she doesn't stand in the middle of the small box like I'd expected her too, choosing to be closer the the edge instead.
I make the assumption that it's because she is uncomfortable with being around me, something supported by her heartbeat that betrays her calm façade.
Naturally, my response to this is to simply stand right next to her, such that our shoulders are touching and I feel a sudden increase in her heart rate the moment we make contact.
Something tells me they are well informed about me, because I doubt she's just a natural coward.
Ah well, reputation is more valuable than gold to a cape, so I'm not going to complain.
"No elevator music?~ Isn't that against the Geneva convention?~"
To both of our shock, she actually does respond this time, though clearly it was a speak before you think kind of moment.
"I don't know if elevator music was a thing when the Geneva convention was signed."
Her body tenses once she realises she accidentally spoke to me, like I'm some animal that's going to attack her or something, but I pretend not to notice and decide to be nice for once and do a little educating.
"Ah ah~ someone doesn't know their history.~ While the Geneva convention was first signed back in 1864, that was only the first part of four, with the latest being back in, like, '49 and elevator music started being a thing around the '30's, back when the empire state building first opened it's doors."
She is unable to stop herself from turning to me in blatant shock and I bask in her surprise. Clearly she's had the image of me in her head as some kind of rabid animal that can't even understand algebra for some reason.
Good. This is the whole point of doing this in the first place. To establish a precedent, that even if we may play dumb sometimes, we shouldn't be seen as idiots.
"Which means, it is totally possible that not having elevator music is prohibited by the Geneva convention.~" I finish, amused by her poor attempts to remain stoic.
Unfortunately, before I can say anything else, the elevator pings, signifying our arrival and jolting her our of her reverie and back into 'serious boring business' mode, squared shoulders, straight backed and a face carved of stone.
The elevator's doors slide open to reveal exactly who I'm here to see.
ππ±π±π¦π³π€π³πΆπ΄π΅.
