Kevin the Bored
patreon
56 Butcher XIII
🕑 Added 2023-05-17 18:11:07 +0000 UTC𝘚𝘭𝘶𝘶𝘶𝘳𝘱
"Must you drink so loudly?" Sighs Elevator Girl, who I now know is called Hideout, from my side as I loudly suck my drink through a straw.
As it turns out, it 𝘪𝘴 possible to turn people into slushies and I have been thoroughly enjoying the fresh flavour.
It's been a few days since my meeting with the Elite, time which I used to advance my culinary repertoire, and the Teeth finally showed themselves yesterday.
Thus, my contract has officially begun and I am technically no longer unemployed. So.. yay, I guess.
Anyway.
Right now, and for the past few hours as well, I have been sitting on this roof with only Hideout and my cards for company.
Apparently Hideout is only here to use her power to hide me until the Butcher shows up, though I think she's also here to make sure I don't do anything 'untoward', like robbing the place I'm supposed to be protecting.
I don't even know what it is that I am protecting, though I'm guessing either guns or drugs, or maybe both. But Uppercrust is apparently convinced that the Butcher knows about this place and is likely to hit it today, thus my presence here.
He's also made it plenty clear that Hideout is only here to keep me company until Butcher shows up, and that I will be on my own at that point.
I happen to be perfectly fine with that. If anything, I prefer it this way.
After all, I have a number of new muscles to stretch and I've been doing a lot of practicing and experimenting with my powers and have a whole lot of new tricks to test out in live combat.
But that's for when they actually show up, for now there are more important things to focus on.
"For your information, yes I 𝘥𝘰. Slurping is a sign of appreciation and the louder the slurp the greater the sign of appreciation.~"
Hideout just huffs from where she sits beside , keeping an eye on the road below while I focus on my game of solitaire.
The pair of us are sitting inside of her power, which basically allows her to 'draw' out a ring on the ground which makes anyone inside of the ring invisible to anyone outside of it.
Pretty nifty for making sure no one sneaks up on us, though I think I would be fine without her.
Not that I mind the company.
"What are you even drinking anyway?" She asks, not turning her head away from the street.
Deciding both to fuck with her and that it would probably be best if I'm not honest anyway, I answer blandly, with the kind of tone you would expect to be used if I was saying 'water', only water is not what I say at all.
"Vinegar."
She nods her head disinterestedly for a brief moment before freezing as she properly comprehends what I said.
Her head whips around to face me fast enough that I would be worried for her neck if I actually cared for her wellbeing.
"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵!?" She half screams, still conscious enough of the situation at hand to attempt to keep her voice low even through her shock.
I carefully lift my head from my game and stare her dead in the eyes, something that makes her have to try and hide a slight flinch, no doubt due to the crimson tint of my own eyes.
"It's vinegar. 𝘗𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘺." I practically spit, my tone daring her to question my choice of beverage.
As it is, she merely sits there for a moment, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as she tries and fails to come up with a response.
A moment later her problem is solved for her as I burst out laughing, her little consternated face being too much for me to handle as I fall to my back, holding my sides with one arm and pointing at her with the other so that I am literally pointing and laughing.
Predictably, she flushes and turns away, focusing back on her job and pretending to ignore me.
Once I get my laughter back under control, I sit back up and go back to my game of solitaire, which I've almost won.
"I jest, I jest~" I say to the irate woman, appeasing her slightly, only to annoy her again with my following words, "It's actually just the tears of orphans.~"
I hear her huff and from the corner of my eye I can see that she is once again focusing on the road even as she opens her mouth to continue with out conversation.
"If-" She starts, only to be immediately cut off by the sound a pair of loud engines rocketing towards our location.
Both of us snap to attention and stare down the street, one of us with weariness and the other anticipation. I'll give you three guesses as to who's who, but the first two don't count.
As I was hoping, we are both greeted by the sight of a pair of trucks that look like they belong in a Mad Max movie, what with all the spikes and skulls turn the corner on the end of the street, barrelling down towards us with music blasting out that is barely even audible over the incredible thrum of their engines.
Well, let it be known that no one ever accused the Teeth of being subtle.
Damn. I am suddenly brought short by an intrusive thought and I spare a single regretful glance to my cards. I was so close to finishing too... heh, that's what she said.
Shaking my head clear of my mental whining, I decide to quickly go through what I know of the capes I'm about to face. Uppercrust has a lot of information and all but forced me to listen to it all.
The spoilsport doesn't understand the concept of spoilers. It's much more fun if I have to actually figure out the powers myself.
Either way, I know what I know and what I know is that there are currently only six members.
First there is Spike, he can turn himself into a pincushion. The method to countering him seems to basically be 'don't hug him'. He probably also has a minor Brute rating, but not enough that it really matters.
Then there's Hemorrhagia. I have no idea how it's supposed to be spelt, and to be honest I kind of forgot how to pronounce it properly. She can control blood, but not a lot of it and has some kind of self biokinesis.
She's basically just a person with armour and weapons that she can change as she wills it, and it doesn't matter if she can control blood if I just rip her head off.
After her we have Slasher, and I imagine that he only added the -er on the end of his name to avoid association with Jack Slash, because not even the Teeth want to be associated with the Nine, especially after they kicked their asses out of Brockton.
He can just turn his arms and feet into blades that aren't really all that much better than normal swords.
Pretty weak to be honest and I'd imagine that if he manages to survive today that he wouldn't have lasted all that long anyway.
Then there is Animos, probably the only one of them that is in any way dangerous. His power is that he can transform into some werewolf looking thing, but that alone wouldn't be too impressive.
What makes him a credible threat is that his howl, when transformed, temporarily disables the powers of anyone within it's cone of range.
I don't really know how that works on Brutes like me and frankly I don't intend to find out.
There is another stooge cape, but apparently they don't come out much. Uppercrust says that it's either that they are a Tinker or that they are just too green.
Then, saving the best for last is of course the Butcher themselves.
The more you think about the Butchers powers, the less you generally want to fight him.
Naturally, this means that I get more excited as I mentally go through the list.
First there's the pain blast and while it can induce cardiac arrest in normals, I'm sure I will be able to handle it. Then he can see hearts and arteries and stuff through walls, though apparently not through Hideout's power.
That's just form the first two Butchers, the third was the only hero of the lot and he supposedly had some kind of danger sense and that only leaves ten more to go.
He can make an wounds he inflicts to fester, which is really just an extra 'fuck you' in my opinion. He can teleport short distances, though he explodes every time he lands, so it's not exactly stealthy.
He can shape matter in limited amounts, so there's no real point in trying to disarm him. He can make those near him go into a mindless rage and he's also immune to pain.
Then, finally, he has super strength stacked at least six times over. Though since the Butcher only passes down watered down versions of the powers, it's not as incredible as it sounds, but still a high tier brute.
Most likely stronger and more durable than me without my armour.
Ah, I just realised that the current Butcher's original power was one of those Brute ones, so maybe he will actually be stronger than I thought.
Oh well. There's always the mucus membrane if his skin proves too tough. Thanks Jason.
By the time I've finished reviewing what I am going up against the Teeth in question have all clambered out of their cars and formed a small mob on the street below us.
"Well?" I hear from my side and as I turn I see Hideout gesture to the crowd below, swinging her arm out as if she is presenting them and giving me the kind of look you would give a dog when it's refusing to drop something.
"Yes 𝘮𝘰𝘮." I say with a roll of my eyes as I walk up to the edge of the roof, standing with my toes dangling over the edge.
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out a vital instrument for my plan of action.
"Why are you putting on glasses?" I hear from behind me.
"Shut up. It's all part of the plan." I say before ignoring her and focusing.
Indeed, I truly am a genius, I have no idea how I come up with all these amazing plans.
Maybe I actually am a Thinker after all?
Shaking my head clear of thoughts, I allow my excitement to well up and suffuse my being.
A smile grows on my face and I take a deep breath and hold it for a moment.
As I let go of the breath, I take a step forward, immediately plummeting to the ground.
About halfway down, I twist forward and kick back, pushing off the building behind me to launch myself forward, directly at the Butcher.
However, despite coming from behind, right as I am a few feet away, they suddenly snap around to face me, but by that point I am too close for them to do anything about it.
But right as my fist is about to connect with their face, they simply disappear, as if they were but a mirage.
Having already seen this coming, I don't hesitate for a second to change targets.
I hit the ground with a roll and as soon as I get my feet under me, I launch myself forward once again, straight at Animos who is already transformed and has his maw open, no doubt about to scream at me.
Unfortunately for him, he never gets the chance as my knee impacts his jaw, closing his mouth with an audible 𝘴𝘯𝘢𝘱 and sending him flying to the other side of the street.
Before I can feel any satisfaction from it however, I suddenly feel extremely hot and it actually takes my brain a moment to register that I am flying through the air.
It's only when my face smacks into the ground that I properly understand what just happened.
Slowly pushing myself over onto my back, I lift myself up with a groan, resting on my elbows.
I am greeted by an angry looking Butcher approaching me with a steady gait.
Heh, you fool, you have activated my trap.
It is time for my ultimate plan to come into effect.
"Wait!" I shout right as he is within arms reach of me, making him pause. "You wouldn't hit a girl with glasses, would you?~"
He responds by kicking me in the face.
-----------------------------
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
I kinda fucked up. That cape she met in the club? That was supposed to be an important plot point, cuz that cape is important-ish. but Tear blew it by getting fucked up and now I don't know how to fix it. :(
