Kevin the Bored
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95 Violence Isn't The Question
🕑 Added 2023-06-21 13:29:17 +0000 UTC"You know, this really isn't how I saw this going." Is all I manage to say before I have to jump to the side in order to avoid a pair of wooden roots extending from one of the kid's arms.
The roots slam into the ground, completely ruining my game of solitaire without so much as a care and quickly wriggling and writhing like tentacles as the move to chase after me with a sweeping motion that I jump over with a flip for style points.
However before I even touch the ground I am forced to spin and twist my body mid-air in a dizzying motion that barely allows me to avoid a half dozen bullets of plasma.
Man, these people are so unfriendly. It's not like I was planning on hurting any of them.
When I finally do manage to touch the ground, I once again have to dash to the side, as the next moment a pair of roots burst out of the ground like spears right where I was standing.
I only even knew it was happening because I could hear them digging through the ground to get to me.
However, Candy seems to have predicted my dodge and I don't react in time as an inconspicuous ball lands next to me and in a flash of dull light there is suddenly a perfectly carved, circular hole in the ground right next to me.
Luckily it was only close enough to affect me from my left shin up to my waist and it didn't even effect me as much as it did the ground. It erased my skin and burnt through most of my muscles, showing a lot of bone but it's an injury that is fully healed before I can even think to worry about it.
Seriously, I just wanted to make a fucking phone call!
Ah well, I guess we're fighting then.
Root's power seems to let him turn his arms and legs into tree roots that he can extend and control to a pretty decent degree, making him probably the second most annoying of them.
Batman can just hear things well or something, I don't know, I forget boring people.
Carrot girl's costume reminds me of March, but her power is supposedly quite interesting. According to the information we managed to gather before announcing ourselves, her power is a pretty high level Striker one that allows her to 'break' things.
No idea how effective that is, but Crawler picked her as his candidate, so I guess we'll see if it's strong enough to hurt him whenever he bothers to go out and do his tests.
Lastly is the woman I came here for, Candy. She's a Tinker who's speciality is 'handheld objects'. So if you can fit it comfortably in one hand, like a grenade or, looking at the state of her hands after Mannequin's test, an actual hand, then she can make it.
Such as a matter annihilating bomb or whatever the fuck that was. It could be a weaponised teleportation thing but honestly it doesn't really matter since it doesn't seem to be capable of killing me in one hit anyway, which means I'll be fine in the end.
It's clear that I'm going to have to beat them up before they listen to me, since they're so set on being pointlessly dramatic.
So, strategy.
Win, I guess. Not like I should have to think too hard to beat weaklings like these guys, the only thing I have to really worry about is Candy because, as they say on the forums, 'Tinkers are bullshit'.
Root's extended limbs once again attempt to crush me and I think about cutting them or jumping over and using my ribbons for manoeuvrability. I can practically see how it would work out too.
I'd jump over, Candy would shoot at me but I'd use my ribbons for unexpected manoeuvrability to dodge and launch myself at her before she can change from her guns to something else.
But I decide to make this a bit more fun by challenging myself a little. That means for this fight, I will limit myself to not using any of my extra limbs.
You know what? I'll make it a game. If you make me use my powers beyond just my body, then I will be lenient with my 'test' but if I best you with just my body then I will do something mean.
With a happy smile and a nod of the head, I drop to the ground, my legs bending enough that my knees touch the floor, with me head doing the same from how far back I lean until I am just laying on my back.
The next instant, a pair of tree roots pass over my head, barely high enough for me to avoid them and without even using my arms, I quickly launch myself back to my feet with a rock clenched in my hand and dash forward.
As expected, Candy has swapped out one of her guns for some kind of device that she wastes no time throwing at me, however I throw my rock at the same time, just with much more force.
The two objects collide in the air and let our a concussive blast that sends Candy flying back a few feet with a scream and leaves Batman crumpled to the floor holding his bleeding ears.
Heh, what a loser, I think while also bleeding from my own ears.
Treeboy tries to buy Candy time to get up by blocking my path with a pair of roots while the other two attempts to grab me.
I just decide that now is a pretty good time to test exactly how strong I am now by throwing a punch at the first of the advancing roots and a wide, spinning kick at the other.
They both explode in a shower of splinters and despite being happily surprised at how easy that was, I don't stop moving.
I guess working out daily really does help huh?
The roots in front of me have formed a wall, but like the reckless woman I am, I just barrel into it with my arms crossed over my face.
Thanks to the force I push off the ground with, I burst through the wall of wood with complete ease, and time seems to slow down as before my sight is even cleared of splinters I notice a hand reaching for me.
Aha, you can't catch me that easily Miss Bunny 2 Electric Boogaloo.
Striker powers tend to only work through direct contact with the hand, so in a blur of movement, I reach past her hand and grab her forearm directly, giving it a little squeeze and breaking it with ease.
"AAAHHHH!" Normally, screams of anguish and pain wouldn't so much as make me flinch, but I find myself pausing at the sound.
Because, that is not the scream of a girl.... that is the scream of a boy.
As the realisation crystalises, I let go of the arm and spin around, only to see a splayed out hand mere inches away from my chest.
It's too close for me to do anything about it without breaking my rules and I barely have enough time to look past the hand where, through a small gap in the splinters of wood still raining around me, I catch sight of a pair of determined, angry eyes staring at me.
Heh, well played.
I'm honestly impressed.
Maybe that's why I decide to keep to the game, or maybe I just really do hate losing.
Time suddenly seems to speed back up as the hand rushes forward and makes contact with me and the next thing I know is incredible, all encompassing 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯.
I feel as every single bone in my body simultaneously shatters, except her power is apparently more in depth than that as I feel my skin crack, my muscles tear and my organs rupture.
Every single piece of me breaks beyond what any normal person can survive and despite the pain numbing my mind, possibly the worst single instance of pain in my life, only one random thought passes through my head.
𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘊𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘳.
My sense of space vaguely tells me that I am falling to the ground, both of my eyes being a bit too non existent right now to do that part of their job for me.
Alas, I am not a normal person, and I recognise the feeling of my body stitching itself back together without issue.
But even then, 𝘰𝘸𝘸. That shit hurt. A lot.
Which is why, as soon as my sight returns to me and I see Carrot approaching me again, I don't hesitate to grab the ground either side of me with my hands and launch myself at her with straight legs that crash into her shins and bend both of them backwards.
She 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 as she falls to the ground but I ignore that as I focus on getting back to my feet, an effort that is helped along by Candy who shoots something in my side that sends me flying away, allowing me to land straight on my feet, as right as rain.
"Get away from her you Bitch!!!" Candy shouts at me as she rushes forward to stand between the two of us and I can't help but mentally roll my eyes.
Like, seriously. Why are they taking everything so damn seriously? What is this, an Indian drama?
It's a 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, people get hurt, that's how it is. No need to make such a production out of it.
Now, the only ones left are the naturist and the objective. Batman is useless for anything other than being a distraction and Carrot literally can't stand against me anymore.
"Root." Candy says, even though she remains staring at me, like I'm some kind of wild animal that will attack the moment she looks away... not that she's entirely wrong really.
"Take the other two and get out of here, I'll hold her back." She commands, making me roll my eyes in real life this time.
Some people watch too many movies.
Before Root can even say anything in response to that however, he is interrupted by Carrot herself, who pushes through her pain to shout out.
"No! We won't leave you behind! No matter what!" My god, just kill me now.
Why is it so damn difficult to make a fucking phone call?
"Don't be stupid! We can't beat her! Just go already!" Candy returns and I am sorely tempted to check my watch, not that I have one, it just seems appropriate.
"I refuse! You've done so much for us, I refuse to let you die alone!" Batboy chimes in, annoying me even further.
I wasn't even planning on killing anyone for fucks sake, though I'm starting feel tempted.
"I don't care what you want! Just live! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦. I'm begging you!" It's not like I even have a lot to say, it will just be like, a five minute conversation.
"DON'T ASK ME TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT MY MOTHER!!!" No Legs' desperate scream brings about blessed silence as Candy finally looks away from me to stare at her daughter(?) in shock.
"W-what?" Her shaky voice sounds out in the silent street, quickly followed by the two boys adding their own pieces.
"You've always been there for us, whenever we've needed you, you always made us feel safe, like we found a home."
"How could you be anything other than our mother?"
Candy's starting to tear up but I'm just getting even more annoyed.
Like, hellooo? I'm still here dipshits.
"Ahem!" I loudly clear my throat, reminding them I'm here and ruining the moment completely, "forgetting something?~"
At my words their faces all go through a series of emotions that I frankly just can't be bothered to decipher and I decide to jump ahead of whatever they're going to say in the hope of avoiding wasting even more time.
Hopefully the beating they just received is enough to get them to actually 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 to me this time.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Cliffhanger 2 electric boogaloo!!
I'm going to the beach again today I think, also I think I've only got like, a couple of days left before I'm going back to boring old England, but at least I will only be there for like half a month anyway, so there's always an upside I guess.
Also, I would like to reiterate just in case anyone has any problems with what I am writing, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I'M DOING! Like, I'm just pressing buttons here, whatever happens happens and I post it.
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ChaoticThief
Silly girl candy is a snack
