Kevin the Bored
patreon
97 Covid? That You?
🕑 Added 2023-06-23 23:50:56 +0000 UTCTheir bodies are all full of tenseness, ready for a fight but hoping to avoid it.
Sucks to be them then, because they're gonna wish this will be as simple as a fight.
"You see, I made us a little bet when we were fighting, and you lost. So now, I am going to kill one of you.~" Almost immediately there are shouts of protests that I don't really listen to.
Those protests are immediately replaced by the silence of fear as I force all of my blood to explode out of me, instantly enlarging my size with the armour making me taller and wider while my beautiful wings and lithe tentacles float menacingly behind me.
My mask covers my face and I keep a pair of pupils locked onto each of them from my gigantic eye as I point a wicket claw in their direction.
"Remember, you lost the bet because you couldn't even force me to go all out. Feel free to try and fight this, just know that you, as well as another thousand innocent for each of you will all die." My distorted voice echoes down the now once again silent street.
I had to add the last part as a precaution against them just deciding to go with the whole, 'let's die together' thing.
No Legs starts whimpering first as they all resign themselves to inevitability. Though, I see Candy seeming to resolve herself of something as her face suddenly turns very determined looking.
Heh, fuck you.
Dismissing my power now that the threat has been delivered, I give Candy a bright smile.
"Naturally, I get to pick who dies.~ If anyone else also dies then I guess I'll just finish the job and gut you all, kay?~"
There we go, that deflates her silly little thoughts of finding a less bad ending to this interaction.
Thus, I am left staring at four thoroughly broken individuals. Each resigned to the inevitability of power and hating themselves for it.
You know, I'm starting to see why Jack does this stuff so much. I'm having fun.
I still think it would get boring if I over do it though.
All things in moderation, as that one guy said at some point, and he was supposed to be pretty smart so I'll take his word for it.
They're barely even responsive as I walk up to them, only really shivering in response to my presence, though I do notice Carrot flinching, as if she was about to reach forward but held herself back.
Smart.
A few steps later, and I am staring down at Batboy, who is shivering with increasing fervour.
"So tell me, how's 'stopping' me going? Do you regret your choice of profession?" My questions are soft and friendly, as if I am just asking how his day has been.
I know the juxtaposition makes people uncomfortable, but he seems to magically grow a pair of balls in response.
"N-n-no. I c-could n-never r-r-r-regret being a H-Hero." He stutters out.
Ok, a pair of small balls.
"Neat. Any last words then, 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘰?" I ask with very little interest.
"Y-yeah. Fu-𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬!" Unfortunately, he doesn't get to finish his final words thanks to a severe case of broken neck.
Symptoms include ones head doing a full 360 degree spin, potential causes include me grabbing said head and spinning it like a fucking Beyblade.
Everyone around me flinches with a sharp intake of breath at the sound and the two females both let out a soft whimper.
I'm pretty sure they're all instinctually keeping quiet in the hopes that it will keep them safe from me.
As well, I'm done here.
Reaching down I grab the kid by the foot and start dragging him back to one of the corpse piles so I can feast before heading back to camp.
As I am leaving though, I pause next to Candy.
"Just a heads up, but if you think I'm evil then you really aren't ready for the others, 'cuz I'm the nicest of the bunch. When the others come to give you your tests? Well, I only killed one kid as a punishment and look at how much that hurt you. I'd imagine the others would be frothing at the mouth to hurt you even more than I did, wanna take a guess how they'd do that?~"
The obvious answer is that they'd force her to watch as her kids are tortured to death, maybe make her finish the job to 'put them out of their misery' or something.
Either way, the only reason I thought to give her that heads up is very simple.
I've never talked anyone into suicide before, and I do love new experiences.
I'm pretty sure that's going to be her solution to keeping what's left of her kids safe, it's the logical thing, kinda.
Eh whatever, the only one of real interest here is Carrot and that's only on the assumption that she'll be able to hurt Crawler twice.
Once? Sure, easy. But if her power still works after he's adapted then that is something impressive.
Then again, there is only one free slot left in the group... sorry Magne, but if it comes down to it, I know who I'm picking.
You weren't even my first choice after all, no hard feelings.
By the time these thoughts have gone through my head, I've only made it a few feet away from the 'heroes' and I turn around to see them still here.
What? Do they expect me to run off? I was here first!
"Oi!~ You can fuck off now, I prefer not to eat with an audience!~" I shout at them, making them glance down at the kid in my grasp and cringe.
Though, they do listen, Treeboy picking up the Vegetable and running away with Candy.
Finally leaving me once again in peace.
Glancing around, I take in the literal piles of corpses lazily strewn about and sigh.
I should really have just kept them all in one stack instead of spreading them about, even if it 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 make for a better boss arena.
Ah well, time to eat.
About an hour later, and with even more blood coating my body, I make it back to our place of residence, dripping even more blood onto the already stained halls.
By the time I reach the floor we're using, I have a smile on my face from the pleasing scent of blood filling the building.
Walking in, I only see Crawler and Hatchet Face chilling in silence.
"Yo faggots, what are the others up to?" I ask as I walk over to Crawler and start scratching his big old monster dog head, something he doesn't try to stop.
It's a shame he doesn't start purring or something though, so I don't know if he's enjoying it or just tolerating it. It's not like I can really read him, what with his sever lacking of a human face.
"I'm not a fag, and their out mostly. Jack, Siberian and Shatterbird are out testing their candidates, the other two are both in different rooms doing Tinker shit." I nod my head at Hatchet's answer and decide to check out what Bonesaw is up to before visiting Shatter.
Lord knows I won't be able to find Sibby is she's out testing people since her tests consist of three days straight of running about.
The only reason I didn't ask her to shorten the time limit for her tests with respect to the time limit I set for this game is because I am under the assumption that a lot of the candidates will simply die, leaving her with only three to actually test.
So far that seems like a good decision too, because Hatchet killed his candidate almost immediately and Mannequin's candidate is probably going to suicide, leaving only six left two days in out of eleven.
"Cool, thanks." I respond as I turn to start checking doors until I find Bonesaw, only to be stopped by Hatchet not realising that this interaction is over.
"If you really wanna thank me, you could always come over here and suck me off." His voice is a mix of taunting and just genuinely horny.
I turn around with a seductive smile on my lips and place one hand on my hip and with the other I bring my index finger to my lip, pulling it down slightly as I pretend to think about it.
"You want the cannibal who's Brute powers aren't negated by your aura to put your dick in their mouth? Sure, I'm down if you are?~"
Predictably, his face quickly changes from horny to annoyed at the implicit threat of biting his dick off.
Truth be told, if he was less disgusting from a purely aesthetic point of view then I'd have probably accepted, but, call me shallow if you must, I just am not interested in fucking ugly people, especially since I can fuck sexy people instead.
"Fuck you." He spits at me as he gets to his feet, "fine then, I'll just find someone else to fuck."
As he leaves, no doubt to go rape some poor woman, or girl, or, now that I think about it, any particularly feminine looking guy, I start checking doors.
It doesn't take me long to find the right door, evidenced by the fact that as soon as I open it I am greeted by a bunch of spider robot things with needles at the ready and pointed at me.
Looking down at myself, I see that there is also an empty needle sticking out of me and I feel some sort of fuzzy feeling overtaking me for a moment before returning to nothing, probably that knock out drug of hers.
...Guess I should have knocked.
"Oh good Doctor! Where are youuu?!" I shout into the room, ignoring the spiders that have stepped aside now that they've recognised me.
Gotta love technology. Though I don't know if their intelligence should be wholly credited to technology since I know that there's an actual brain inside the main body doing all the thinking.
Either way, I don't really care. I'm of the opinion that the thinking should be left to the people who like thinking about stuff. I just want my cheap thrills thank you very much.
"I'm in here!!" I hear Bonesaw's shout and follow it to a room that looks much like her lab in the RV, except with a lot more stuff inside, mostly people.
Good thing I already ate.
In the centre of the room is a flat, metal table with Bonesaw herself standing over it operating on some muscular guy's open brain.
"Hey Chibi~ watcha doooin'?~" I ask as I lean over the table to look the guy in the eye, noticing that he is fully conscious, just incapable of moving.
He seems to be in a lot of pain, but I think he's probably just being a pussy. I mean, you literally can't even feel pain from having your brain poked at, so either Bonesaw is doing something else to hurt him or he's just being melodramatic.
"I'm glad you asked! This is Matador, my candidate! Right now I'm getting him ready for my test! See, my test is that for the next week he can only eat blood and salt, but I don't want him to just not eat anything so I'm modifying his cuneocerebellar tract to match with what I've already done to his amygdala. That will basically just make sure he drinks plenty of blood while also making him throw up anything else he tries to eat!"
She is so excited about explaining all of this that she actually stops doing her surgery, getting a spider to take over, so that she can fully express her accomplishments.
And even if I didn't understand a few of the words just then, I get the general idea and I see that she's happy to talk about it, so I resign myself to having my brain short-circuit from big words and decide to just bite the proverbial bullet.
"Sounds fun! But if that was all then I figure you'd be done by now, not to mention just changing his diet seems a bit too easy as a test?"
As expected, her face brightens even more as she practically starts vibrating where she stands staring at me with joy before she takes a deep breath and immediately looses me.
"Uhuh! I'm also implanting synthetic neural circuits in his inferior cerebellar peduncle to cause his motor vestibular functions to always be in reverse to what the proprioceptive sensory input says it should be! I'm also modifying his trigeminal nerve a little bit so that the trigeminocerebellar tract can effect the cerebellum to cause large amounts of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin to be released every time he smiles!"
...What?
Did she just start speaking in Latin?
I should have reminded her to dumb it down for me, but looking at her dopey grin as she looks up to me for praise and acknowledgement, I can't bring myself to admit that I have no fucking idea what she just said.
Instead, I just smile right back at her.
"Woah!~ That sounds awesome!~ Very impressive of you.~" I exclaim as I pick her up in a hug and spin her adorable little body around.
As she starts giggling along with the ride, I randomly think back to when I turned eighteen and my mom talked with me about having kids.
Naturally I told her that I'd rather avoid that kind of trouble. Kids seem like a lot of work for not much reward.
And you know what? I was right.
These interactions with Bonesaw don't disprove anything.
If anything, I see her more like I saw those bears rather than as a daughter.
"Well, I won't distract you any longer then.~ Do you know where Shatter is?" I ask as I set her down.
"Uhuh! I'll get a spider to take you to her if you would like?" She is already heading back to the surgery table even as she talks and I don't have to answer before the spider that was just operating on Matador's head hops down and starts leading the way out of the building.
As I head to Shatterbird, knowing that she's testing the person I wanted to test before Magne, I can only I hope she hasn't broken her already.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
The title is cuz she ate batman, and y'know.. covid 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 came from some guy eating a bat, definitely not from a lab, no sirrrreee.
Anywho, bonesaw is cute, but lusia doesn't form emotional connections like that. Though, she also feels more than she realises, so who knows the future, I sure as fuck don't.
Like, I legitimately have no fucking idea how many of the current roster of the nine are going to die, which I think makes things more interesting.
Also, I had to spend about half an hour reading through Wikipedia pages about brains and their functions and nerves and shit, so to any of you fuckers that have ever tried to question me or point out 'mistakes', get fucked, I do my research!!
(P.S. do keep in mind, I do not get mad ever, if I ever do seem like I'm mad then I'm just messing around, the above was just cuz A), I 𝘥𝘰 actually spend a lot of time researching shit to make sure I can explain everything I write and B) I remember getting a comment recently about Contessa's shard and Jack's that I won't get into for word count reasons, but fuck you Thot, never doubt me!)
