Kevin the Bored
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108 Chess (Credit to Toyah99 for the idea)
🕑 Added 2023-07-05 06:50:55 +0000 UTCColumbus, Georgia. April 10th, 14:20.
It ended up taking a couple of hours to track down all of the people Lucy needed to kill, though to be honest I might have marked too many people for her.
It's not like she was counting, but there were likely a few extra.
Honestly, I'm a little upset, because her kill count has just surpassed my own in a single night, how unfair is that?
I've only killed like, three or four hundred people with my own two metaphorical hands after all. Though, if we count indirect kills then I guess I'd probably be in the five digits by now.
That salt drug is waaay more effective than I really saw it being, there's probably not going to be too many people left alive by the time we leave.
Ah well, not my problem.
What ๐ช๐ด my problem however, is White King.
He's the only one of the four candidates left for me to test, and I have just the test in mind for him.
You see, he's a Master, and his power is one of the ones that cause Masters to be the most feared classification. He can turn anyone he touches into a loyal minion.
Pretty impressive really, but only if he wasn't stupid enough to announce himself as White King and start ruling a gang.
If he'd just stuck to the shadows and used his power on people already in positions of genuine power, rather than some stupid gang lords, then he could have been the most competent information broker on the planet.
Or he'd try and overshoot and go for world domination and thusly die a horrible death.
There are far too many powers in the world for anything short of omnipotence to be able to rule it.
Anyway, with his power in mind, and after a short power nap, I spent my time rounding up even more people, thirty two to be exact, and then spent another hour or two preparing them for their roles.
Which all leads to now, as I lead White King to the stage I set up inside of a warehouse.
When we walk through the doors, we are greeted to the sight of thirty two men and woman, standing opposite each other in two groups of sixteen, both formed up in two lines of eight. Some of them in the back rows wield weapons, but no one in the front does.
The most notable thing being how the people on the left are all wearing black while the people on the right are all wearing white.
"Aaand here we are!!~" I exclaim as I gesture grandly with my arms, "I have brought chess to life!~ Your test is simply to beat me in a game!~"
Truthfully, I don't remember ever actually playing chess. I mean, I ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ I've played it at some point, who hasn't? But that would have been ages ago and only a couple of times anyway when I was a kid.
So while I can remember what all the pieces do, I still don't really know how to play. To be honest I'm sort of just banking on him ๐ข๐ญ๐ด๐ฐ not knowing how to play.
He doesn't say anything in response, but I suppose that is sort of understandable. He is kind of fucked up after all.
For one, Bonesaw has done some work on him. I have no idea what, but he looks like he's been living in a cave for decades, and he's also missing an arm, courtesy of Hatchet Face no doubt.
Seriously, that Brute has no class whatsoever. Then again, I'm pretty certain he only really wants to kill capes, so I guess it works for him, but his tests are generally just, 'you stand still and let me whack you,' and if they don't then he kills them.
Shaking my head to clear it of needless thoughts, I gesture to the stairs leading up to a walkway on either side of the room, allowing us both to have a birds eye perspective of the match.
"You go over there, you're white because white is right, of course.~ It certainly has nothing to do with your cape name, that wouldn't make any sense.~ Plus, I'm the bad guy, and everyone knows that bad guys wear black.~"
He still doesn't say anything, but he does glare at me once we are both in our positions standing over the trembling crowd of terrified individuals.
"Now! Before we begin, allow me to explain some things.~ Firstly there is the King piece!~ Since there isn't really anything special about them, but all the other pieces want to protect them anyway, I have chosen a pair of children to play King.~"
Said children are probably both around eleven or twelve, and one of them looks like he's going to piss his pants again while the other genuinely just doesn't seem to understand the situation. They must be incredibly sheltered.
"Then there are the Bishops!~ Each of them are religious, three Christians and one Muslim, and they each had a sceptre as their weapons, because everyone knows that the Pope only has that mace thing to smack people with it.~"
Those four kind of suck, they just keep praying and, I guess, hoping that some God will smite me down or something.
"After them is the Knights!~ They have swords!~ Moving on are the Rooks!~ I couldn't think of anything witty so they have some rocks!~"
Those ones are pretty obvious. I mean, Knights had to have swords, though finding four swords was surprisingly difficult, so I just grew and cut off four of my claws. They're sharp enough to work. For the Rooks however, I just picked the first thing that came to mind, so rocks it is.
"Then in the front row are the Pawns!~ Following in the theme of the Rooks, I decided they should match their name, thus all sixteen of the Pawns are Pornstars!~ Isn't that fun?~"
Realistically, finding sixteen Pornstars in one city and in a few hours is an impossible task, but the thing is, it's really easy to be a 'Pornstar'. All you have to do is star in a porno, no training required.
Besides, it's always good to add even more diversity to FoolsNet. At this point, the site is really strange. You can find videos of Porn, Rape, Murder and other brutal and gory things, but there's also what is basically a 'kids' section where it's all just stupid and silly pranks.
Like that time Negante replaced a couple restaurants' mustard with yellow paint. Simple, silly and harmful. Yet it's on the same site where you can watch a man slowly be taken apart, detailed explanations being given on each organ as it is pulled out of the body.
James must be really bored if he's doing anatomy lessons, but I don't doubt a couple of desperate biology or medical students have watched the video, which is funny to think about.
Ah, I've gotten side-tracked.
"Finally, there is the Queen piece!~ As the strongest of them all, it's only natural that they have only the most fitting of weapon for their royal position!~ The Queens both have a shotgun.~"
It makes sense if you ask me, plus it's funny that everyone is either unarmed, or has a melee weapon, and then there's just these two bitches with a shotgun each.
With that out of the way.
"Let the game begin!~" I exclaim with barely hidden anticipation.
Whitey glares at me for a moment, before looking down at the 'board'.
"Knight to C-3," his incredibly rough, baritone voice sounds out after a moment of thinking.
He sounds like a wild animal clawed at his throat. Honestly, it sounds like it's painful for him to talk.
I assume that's Bonesaw at work then.
The sword wielding man walks forward, having to shimmy past the 'pieces' in front of him to reach the C-3 square, drawn on the floor in crayon by yours truly.
"Pawn to E-5."
I actually had the foresight to put the tile names on each individual tile, so that the 'pieces' don't have to do any thinking to figure out where E-5 is.
"Pawn to D-5," is his response, allowing our two Pornstars to be within reach of each other.
Neither of them can look the other in the eye though, and it takes me a moment to remember exactly why, but I quickly shake my head to clear it of the distracting thoughts on a certain non consensual orgy I coincidentally happened to have witnessed.. three hours ago.
But enough of that, I should focus on the game.
"Pawn to C-6," I say, trying to open the board up a little more.
"Knight to F-3," he responds, doing much the same but more aggressively.
"Pawn to B-5."
"Bishop, E-3."
"Pawn, B-4."
"Knight, A-4."
"Queen, A-5."
"Queen, D-3," he counters, trying to match my Queen piece with his own, not realising his mistake.
"Bishop, A-6," I state, threatening his Queen, while protecting the Bishop with a Knight piece.
"Queen to B-3." I smirk at the slight panic in his tone as he hurriedly moves his most powerful piece to safety.
"Pawn to C-5," I say, hoping for things to start being more exciting as I put one of his Pawns in a position where it can choose between two of my own Pawns to take.
"D-4, take E-5," he says, doing exactly as I thought he would.
However, this is where things get interesting.
Because this isn't a board game and these pieces are very much real, and I have explained to each of them that 'taking' a piece means killing them.
Which is why, when his Pawn swings a fist at my own, ready to beat them to death, my own Pawn ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ๐ด it, and starts fighting back.
I, as well as everyone else, watch with mild amusement as the two men duke it out, getting blood all over my carefully drawn grid as they relentlessly beat the shit out of each other.
Luckily for Whitey, his Pawn comes out on top after managing to literally get on top of my own to strangle him to death.
Still, he is visibly exhausted and hurt from the fight when he walks back to E-5, the corpse of my Pawn left a couple of squares away.
However I do not allow myself to be drawn into the flow of violence and immediately take a piece, instead I move to trap his Queen, guaranteeing that it dies on my next turn.
"Pawn, C-4."
"Rook B-1," he calls out, confusing me greatly as it doesn't seem to help him with anything.
But I'm not exactly an expert at chess, so I could be missing something.
Either way, my move is obvious.
"Pawn takes Queen," I say with a lazy smirk, only for my expression to freeze on my face a moment later.
๐๐ข๐ฏ๐จ!
The sound echoes out in the warehouse for a moment, bringing silence with it until a wet slapping sound drags everyone's attention to the body of my Pawn, now with a big hole in his chest, courtesy of the smoking barrel of the opposing Queen's shotgun.
...Right. That's a thing.
Damn.
I ignore Whitey as he moves another pawn, lost in thought.
Welp, I guess it's time to throw away chess rules then. Real life really isn't so binary after all.
"Queen take A-4." Now, normally that would be a bad move, trading my Queen for a Knight.
However.
๐๐ข๐ฏ๐จ!
Another shot rings out as my Queen blows open the sword wielding man's side, yet that is not all.
The shotguns are buckshot for a reason, his Queen just didn't have good enough positioning to make use of it. My Queen does not suffer that problem.
Due to this, the gun's buckshot not only kills the knight, but it also kills his Queen, or at least it leaves her bleeding out. It also peppers the three Pawns slightly further back, causing them to all start bleeding, but they were lucky enough to avoid anything lethal looking.
"Your turn," I mock with a smirk on my face that only grows as he growls at me.
The game continues to devolve from there, with more and more pieces dying, one particular Pawn even managing to beat down a Knight, only to get his face later smashed in by a Rook, before eventually the King is taken.
Annoyingly, I had to... encourage, shall we say, my Queen to actually 'take' the 'piece', but it all worked out in the end, and I sent the survivors off with a smile, keeping my word about letting them live if they played along.
No need to punish good behaviour after all, everyone knows that.
"Well, well, well," I start as I walk up to a frustrated looking Whitey, "looks like you lost.~ Guess that means it's punishment time, right?~"
He doesn't answer verbally, but I can basically infer all the horrible things he wants to say just from his glare alone.
"Don't you worry too much.~ The Punishment is more of a second chance really.~"
With my words and a simple gesture, I have him follow me out of the warehouse and into the next one over, revealing another group of people, split exactly the same as the last, with he same weapons, except for one small difference.
This is only a group of thirty.
"It's time for chess two, the electric boogaloo!~" I exclaim as I turn to face Whitey, leaning forward until my face is just beneath his own, where I tilt my head an unnatural amount to look up at him, "only this time,~ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐จ."
Oddly enough, it reminds me of a movie that came out not to long ago, Zathura, in that if you die in the game, you die in real life.
Eh, whatever.
It's time to play.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Hehehe, snuck in another electric boogaloo baby!!
Anyway, I would like it to be known that I did legitimately play a game of chess in this chapter. I was playing as Tear and if I lost then Tear would have lost. Luckily for me, I won, because White King is supposed to die here, so I would not really have known what to do if I didn't get to give him a punishment.
Though I kinda had to throw away my chess match once my pawn got a shotgun blast to the chest. Also, yeah, White King is dead. I ain't gonna do another chess match next chap, but she beat him once, she can beat him again.
Also, once again, credit to Toyah99, cuz I was legit planning on going to sleep when I read his comment and got the sudden inspiration to write all of this.
Comments
Lucy Edwards
Hell yeah man, I'm surprised it didn't come to mind XP
Toyah99
Glad to see that I was able to inspire you. I just saw the chance and thought, 'Yeah, that is something Tear would probably think is funny.'
