Kevin the Bored
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110 This Mini Arc Has Gone On Way Too Long
🕑 Added 2023-07-10 04:29:17 +0000 UTCA/N: Sorry for not uploading for three days, I'm not ill or anything, I'm just getting hella bored of this. Seriously, Fuck Columbus, I am never going to step foot in a Columbus ever, this is the second time something like this has gone on too long to be fun in Columbus :<
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Columbus, Georgia. April 11th, 17:49.
"Woah there!~" I exclaim as I duck under another energy spear, placing my hands on my head as I do so, "be careful!~ You could hurt someone!~"
Devi simply summons another spear in lieu of responding, while Asura draws his weapons with grim determination clear on his face.
That, at least, is something I like about case 53's. Their bodies are all fucked up looking, so they can't really have secret identities, causing a lot of them to not really bother with masks, and Asura has three heads, so I can read him thrice as well.
I mean, that's not really how that works, but oh well.
Asura holds a different weapon in each of his reddened arms, and he doesn't hesitate to introduce me to each of them as he approaches.
Since they're weak, I don't bother drawing forth my power as I fight them, simply using my base strength and skill as I first dodge a spear, coming from his upper right hand.
Then, as I step back from that, I have quickly raise my left leg to step over a low swing from his lower right's longsword. As one of my legs is still in the air, I have to lean back until I am parallel to the ground in order to avoid the Egyptian khopesh as the sword goes for my neck from his lower left hand.
At the same time, the axe in his upper left arm and the mace in his middle right come swinging down at me simultaneously and I finish my fall, placing both hands on the street behind me, so that I can bring both of my bare feet up to block his strikes.
The mace does almost nothing to me, while the sword barely leaves a scratch that immediately heals without a single drop of blood being spilled as I stop both weapons in their place.
Which is when the dagger in his middle left hand comes swinging at my unprotected legs.
With no time to get to my feet, I bend my arms slightly and push forward with a short burst of strength, sending the sword and mace away so that I can spin like a break-dancer and kick the dagger to the side, only to get blindsided by an energy spear and sent bouncing across the road, coming to a stop a short distance away and quickly jumping to my feet.
"Phooeey!~ That almost didn't not hurt!~" I shout up to Devi as I pat myself down of dust, momentarily bemoaning over the hole in my new top.
I wonder if I can bulk order these? They're just novelty clothes after all.
Or I could just get some professional ones done, but eh, it's kind of funny how I have to keep robbing novelty stores. Not that I wouldn't be willing to pay, but for some reason they never want to accept my money.
Weird.
Still, focusing back on the 'fight', I realise something.
Movies really are bullshit.
I mean, I knew on an intellectual level that spinning around a bunch and matrix dodging isn't really the most effective way to fight, but it's still upsetting to see just how ineffective it is.
Ah well, I guess I'll just have to fight properly then, even if it's not quite as cinematic.
Having said that...
I notice Devi preparing to throw another spear as Asura stands still, not willing to push the offensive, and I get an idea.
The spear is launched at me, and I respond with a light jump, twisting my body so that it is perpendicular to the spear as it passes beneath me.
Except, I don't just let it fly by, instead, I reach out and π¨π³π’π£ it, using it's momentum to help me spin around so that I can throw it back at her with twice the speed.
A small circle of air is displaced around the spear as it breaks the sound barrier, slamming into her stomach not a second later and sending her flying backwards until she impacts a building.
A moment later, I touch the ground once more, staring in the direction of Devi with a sheepish grin on my face.
"Aha, oops? I honestly wasn't expecting to throw it that hard, ehe,~" I say as I turn back to Asura, scratching the back of my head as I do so.
"Bastard!!" He yells as he charges me down.
As I wait for him to reach me, I can't help but roll my eyes at his overreaction. It's not like she's dead, I can see her moving from all the way over here after all.
Well, whatever. Time to fistfight someone with six arms and six weapons.
My grin returns full force as he reaches me, weapons ready.
I have always said that I love new experiences.
His spear once again is the first to thrusts at me, but instead of letting myself be pushed into an unfavourable position, this time I just bat the spear aside with a simple backhand.
The two swords follow, raising at me in a cross slash, but I just kick the Egyptian sword back, parrying it with ease, and twist my body slightly to cause the longsword to miss.
The axe comes next, with the mace and spear following it, but I am far faster than him and my arms move in a blur, parrying each strike and forcing them all to go wide as I don't even move a single step.
But even with how clear it is that he has no chance, Asura doesn't let up, sending strike after strike as his many arms become blurs of lethal intent.
Yet, I do not lose my casual grin as my arms move even faster, parrying each strike and occasionally twisting to avoid what I cannot parry.
Unfortunately, the fight quickly goes from fun to boring as it gets easier and easier to keep track of his movement.
With a sigh, I wait until I have enough of an opening, and when I do, I parry with a bit of extra strength, causing his arms to be blow wide, leaving him exposed to a counter attack.
My hand snaps forward, impacting his chest with a crushing palm strike that audibly cracks his ribs as he is sent flying backwards, joining his partner in writhing around on the ground.
Seeing neither of them getting up any time soon, I look down at my hand with exasperation.
I knew there was a decent chance that this wouldn't be as fun as I was hoping, but it's still disappointing nonetheless.
Eh, whatever.
With a sigh of boredom, I start wandering off, heading for Bonesaw.
We, and by 'we', I mean Mannequin, did manage to finish setting up the trap factories before Mannequin went and kicked it, and we'll be leaving in like, four days, so I guess I'll get us started on turning the city into a minefield.
Then I guess I'll just go and sleep for a few days.
There's nothing really fun to do here anymore.
All the capes are either dead, boring or hiding in a hole somewhere, and frankly speaking, senseless slaughter got boring real fast.
Still, with that thought in mind, I reach Bonesaw soon enough, finding her in her lab again, doing something with some machines that I don't know the names of.
I think Sibby's out chasing Carrot around by now, so she's alone when I get there.
"Heya Chibi!~ How's it hangin'?~"
My words cause her to look up from her Tinker stuff, and upon seeing me she gains a bright smile that really makes her look like the child that she is, rather than the demented mass murderer that she.. also is.
Hell, if I didn't know who she was already, I'd probably assume she's just some happy go lucky kid.
But as she bounds over to me, leaping up to give me a hug, forcing me to catch her, I can acknowledge to myself that she is adorable enough that her crimes against humanity can totally go overlooked.
"Tear! What are you doing here? Did you need something? Wanna see what I'm doing?" Her rapid fire questioning causes me to chuckle slightly as I hug her back.
"I'm here about our plans here. Remember what I said about leaving traps all over the place? Well, we'll be leaving in a few days, so I figure we can start laying them down now, I just need your help in getting the 'workers' to do their jobs properly."
Her eyes sparkle as she looks up at me for a moment before jumping down and scurrying off to another corner of her temporary lab.
It only takes a moment before she is back with a syringe, which she quickly drops in my hands before running off again. Inspecting it, I see that it's one of those ones that are kind of like a gun, with the 'barrel' part opening up to put in whatever is getting injected, and you only need to pull the trigger while it's touching skin to inject it all, rather than the more manual approach.
By the time I'm done inspecting it, I look up again right as a small thud sounds out.
Looking at me feet, I see a rectangular box filled with small tubes, each about half a pinkie finger in size and filled with an ominously green liquid.
Before I can even question it, the Chibi drops another identical box on top of it and takes a step back, holding her hands behind her back with a smile as she bounces on the balls of her feet.
Children are so energetic. The fact that Crawler makes jabs at me being over energetic just makes me feel like he hasn't ever actually interacted with Bonesaw, which I find hard to believe, because I highly doubt she could hold back her Tinker desire to study his body.
Eh, maybe she just takes samples while he's asleep or something, or maybe she's too focused on Tinkering whenever they interact, so she doesn't get to show him her childish side?
Either way, it doesn't matter and Chibi drags me out of my thoughts after a short moment of silence.
"These should do the job for you! Each dose is enough for one person and there are three hundred and sixty doses!" After her exclamation, she simply stares at me, clearly waiting for praise.
It's just... she hasn't told me what exactly they do yet.
There is an awkward moment of silence as we stare at each other, both waiting for the other to say something before I break the silence.
"Errr... right.. three-sixty doses... you, uh, you mind telling me what the doses do?"
I'll admit, the deer in headlights look of consternation she gives me is incredibly amusing, but the blush that rapidly starts to spread to her ears is just adorable.
Her cuteness is practically a weapon of it's own.
I'm pretty sure there was a guy in the Nine at some point called 'Nice Guy', who's power basically just made everyone dismiss him as just a guy doing nothing odd, no matter what he was doing.
Raping someone? That's just Nice Guy, don't worry about it. Killing a child? He's just passing by, nothing wrong to see here.
Point is, people looked at him and then decided he couldn't be a threat, and I feel like Bonesaw could totally have a slightly weaker version of that power just by default, with how cute she is.
Ah, I'm getting distracted again.
"Ehem," Bonesaw says, clearing her throat to hide her embarrassment, "the drug will basically just makes someone really susceptible to commands for a couple of minutes, and they'll keep following the command for about three hours afterwards."
Giving her one last smile, I ruffle her hair, getting only a minor protest from her in response, and pick up both of the boxes with one hand, still holding the syringe in the other, before I head out, giving Bonesaw a wave as she gets back to doing whatever.
No point in waiting after all, might as well get started now. It's not like I have anything better to do right now, and there is a lot of ground to cover.
I also only have one syringe, so I sure hope none of them have AIDS or something, otherwise they will all probably end up with it.
As I am making my way over to the factories Mannequin borrowed, a sudden thought occurs to me.
The suggestiveness of the drug only lasts a couple of minutes... that means I'm going to have to repeat the command to each of them one at a time doesn't it?
Haaah, the things I do, just to set up a funny joke.
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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
In case it isn't clear, I am also getting tired with this shit. I mean, I didn't even write anything for like, 2-3 days because of it, taking my patrons down from 8 chaps ahead back down to just the promised 5 (and if you know me well enough by now, you know that I don't break promises when it comes to uploads.)
So yeah, this min arcs probably gonna end next chapter, and I might just brush over some things. That's exactly what I wanted to avoid doing, which is the reason it's gone on so long, but frankly I hardly care anymore, and most of the things that would be happening have already happened, so meh.
Comments
Scarletmenace
Glad to have ya back!
