Kevin the Bored
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83 Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica
🕑 Added 2023-06-11 16:58:33 +0000 UTCA couple of days after swapping bikes with a random stranger and I found myself in a little town called Clayton and as I was trying to think of something fun to do I came across a rather interesting bit of information.
Just a short drive westward lies an even smaller village called Cimarron. Now, Cimarron doesn't really have anything interesting to offer by itself, but what 𝘪𝘴 interesting is what lives just next to the village.
Bears.
I'm going to go fight with bears. Why? Because it's funny.
Maybe I'll get a pet bear. They're black bears so they aren't the biggest of the bunch, but they are still bears and just thinking of the looks on people's faces as I ride into town on a bear brings a smile to my face.
As I was making my way over, it didn't take me too long to realise that the bike I traded was modified to be better, which in hindsight explains why he was so eager to accept the trade.
Dude clearly loves bikes. I'd wager that he's just happy to be given a chance to give his bike modifications all over again, this time with the knowledge of what he's already done so he can do it even better.
Alas, I really don't know bikes so I have no idea what's really different besides that fact that it just feels better to ride.
What I do know however is that I just got an idea for something extra fun to do.
Cimmaron is only a small little place with less than a thousand people living there so they don't really have a cape scene. All they have is a single hero called Wrangler and a little branch office of the PRT that has literally only a single squad of troopers.
So I'm going to spice things up a little and bring some excitement into these boring peoples' boring lives by being their first ever villain.
Naturally I won't actually be trying, because the Hero's power is basically a party trick. Instead I am going to do my best to 'tame' as many bears as I can and ride them into town.
I don't know what I'll do at that point. Maybe just rob a convenience store or something.
Oooh better idea! I'll rob the PRT squad.
They probably don't have much cool stuff, but they should at least have some guns and maybe a couple of containment foam grenades.
Who knows, stuff could be useful at some point.
After I reach the village, I don't actually bother to stop. Instead I just keep driving on by, taking a road that goes through the forested mountains which hold my future pets.
A short drive later and I am feeling fairly secluded, like a serial killer could come by and no one would hear me scream
How scary.~
Laughing to myself at the silly thought of some random normal trying to kill me, I pull off the road and steadily drive into the wild wilderness for a bit until I'm sure no one passing by will be able to see my bike.
Then I just turn off the engine, park it and get off, straightening out my cool punk jacket as I set out to find a bear.
Or bears, I guess. Plural would be better in this case.
Sniffing the air, I start meandering my way towards the smell of rancid meat.
One thing I'm grateful for about my enhanced senses is that it's only when I actually taste things with my tongue that it is really repulsive.
Like, I could walk past a bakery and recognise the smell as a bakery, it just won't feel even the slightest bit appetising to me.
If I were to taste anything in the bakery however, then everything is just the same disgusting, vomit inducing garbage.
Point is, I can track down animals in a forest without feeling like I'm smelling a literal garbage dump.
As I'm walking, I try to admire the sights of nature all around me. From the towering trees and the beams of sunlight shining through the gaps in their foliage to the varieties of colours decorating the forest floor from many different types of flowers.
With the birds in the distance singing their overlapping songs, like a choir of life itself.
But honestly it doesn't do anything for me.
Trees are just trees. You've seen one you've seen them all. The sun is shining down on me? Yeah, it has a tendency to do that if you haven't noticed.
Colourful flowers? Eh, I've seen a colour palate before so they're nothing new, and the birds are kind of annoying to be honest.
I don't doubt that in singularity I might actually like that part of nature, but there are so many overlapping bird songs that it's just annoying.
There's a reason you only listen to one song at a time when enjoying music, any more than that and it's just overwhelming sound.
Eventually, after about a half hour of wondering around, during which I catch a squirrel and snap it's neck for later. I eventually manage to follow a scent trail through some incredibly thick vegetation that has completely ruined my jeans until I find myself face to face with exactly what I am here for.
"Bear!~"
My pleased exclamation causes the resting bear's head to snap up and stare at me.
"Hello Mr Bear!~" I wave with a smile, but I guess bears don't like that because it immediately gets to it's feet and starts making weird clicking noises at me and showing it's teeth.
I don't exactly speak bear, but I decide to attempt what feels like the equivalent of adding an 'e' to the end of every word and calling it Spanish by making random clicking noises back at him.
He apparently likes that even less and gets to his feet and roars at me.
Ah well, I figured we'd have to do this the hard way anyway. It's not like I have any particular bear interaction related powers.
Without the slightest bit of fear, I walk up to the bear that is only a little bit taller than me, black bears not being particularly large bears.
When I get closer to it, It brings both of its arms down to strike me, all the while moving it's jaw to bite into my neck.
I just ignore his attacks entirely and move my forearm forward to catch his bite.
Both his paws hit me first and while I can certainly feel the wight behind them, I don't take so much as a step backwards from the hit and when his jaw closes around my forearm it's sharp teeth don't even break skin.
"Sorry Yogi, but I'm a bit too tough for that to work.~" I almost laugh all over again at the impulsive decision to call the bear Yogi, after the old cartoon character.
It doesn't really matter though, because just like how I don't speak Bear, Yogi doesn't speak Human, so there is something of a language barrier that causes him to just keep attacking me.
Deciding that passiveness isn't going to make him tame, I grab one of his paws and swing my arms over my head, lifting his entire body over me and slamming him into the ground.
Then I just sit cross-legged in front of him before he gets his bearings and put one of my hands on his head, holding him in place.
"Bad boy~ think about what you've done.~" I say in a singsong voice while the bear growls and paws at me, struggling to move.
Alas, I am too strong for a mere mortal beast such as this to fight back against me, so it's head doesn't move so much as an inch away from my grip.
It takes longer than I thought it would, but Yogi eventually stops struggling.
With a smile on my face I lift my hand away and jump to my feet, eagerly awaiting my new bear friend.
But to my immense disappointment, once Yogi starts moving again he just got to his feet and immediately started attacking me again.
Why are things never easy?
Heh, stupid question. It would never be fun if everything was easy.
Ah well. Hard way it is.
Before his paw even makes it through half of its swing, I blur forward and bury an impossibly strong uppercut into his gut, literally folding him over me despite the fact that he must weigh about three times as much as me.
With a shrug I drop him onto the ground besides me, only this time I kneel down so that my face is right in front of his and I allow my eyes to transform and my ribbons to sway threateningly behind me as claws grow to cover the tips of my fingers that dig slightly into his head.
Then, 𝘐 growl at 𝘩𝘪𝘮.
Frankly I surprise myself a little at the deep and guttural sound that reverberates from my throat but I keep it up until Yogi starts making a sort of whining sound that I take as submission.
This time when I get up, he doesn't try to fight me again and just remains lying on the ground, breathing steadily as his beady eyes track me.
Reaching behind me, I untie the squirrel tail that I wrapped around one of my jean's belt loops and offer it out to him.
Cautiously and slowly, he starts sniffing and gets up to his feet, all four this time rather than just the two from earlier, and he hesitantly reaches his mouth forward to the squirrel.
Seeing me not oppose him, he grows confident and bites it out of my hand, crushing it in half and swallowing it in two bites. As he does so, I crouch forward and start stroking his neck before I lean forward and wrap my arms around him, hugging his thick neck.
So fluffy.~
"Aren't you just the cutest little beastie. From now on your name is Yogi and you are a part of my, uhh. What was it called again? Sleuth? Right? I'm pretty sure that's what a pack of bears is called right?"
Naturally Yogi doesn't respond to me, but I'm pretty sure I'm right anyway so it doesn't really matter.
Now, let's go see if we can't find ourselves a few more friends. The more the merrier, as they say.
Quite a while later and I am realising that I might have gotten a little carried away.
The sun has already set and started to rise at this point and so far I have gathered probably too many bears.
I mean, they keep trying to fight each other and stuff. At least the new ones do, then I have to come in and beat them up to make them stop.
Even more annoying is that it's not like they can tell me if they're hungry or not, so I've just starting killing any other animal we come across and throwing the carcasses at them to eat if they want to.
I'm also naked from the waist up due to numerous bears ripping into me. I might be unharmed but my clothes are most certainly harmed.
I'm just glad they only go for the upper half of my body, because the legs of my jeans are basically non existent at this point thanks to all the foliage, leaving me in basically just a pair of jean shorts and nothing else.
Ah well, I have spare clothes in my bike, which is where I am now heading.
I'm going to change into a costume and then lead my bear army into the little village and probably do a lot more than provide a 'little bit of excitement' like I intended.
Meh, I'm sure it will be fun regardless.
I mean, I have managed to gather eleven bears, which is quite a lot of bear.
At first I was trying to be thematic with the names, with the first after Yogi being called Winnie, then Smoky, then Care, Teddy and Paddington.
But eventually I kind of ran out of pop culture bears, and I can't remember the name of Yogi's companion bear, so I just started calling the rest of them James, cuz they have cute little ears that remind me of when the little brat has his moments of being small and cute.
When I reach my bike, nearly a dozen bears at my bike, I find that a bird is chilling on it and when I walk up to it, it flies onto my shoulder and chirps at me.
How cute.~
𝘚𝘯𝘢𝘱
Alas, today is bear day, not bird day.
With a dismissive gesture I throw the bird behind me at the squad as I start changing into my prison costume, except rather than my normal mask, I put on a bear mask I got back at Clayton when I first heard about the bears.
My original idea was to wear the mask and pretend to be a bear, see if I could blend in with them or something, I don't know, I'm bored, not a scientist.
Either way, this feels like it will be an interesting day.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Bear.
This is supposed to just be a brief thing to look into what Lusia's life is like when she's not doing plot things, it's generally just dumb shit like this lol.
Anyway, the Elite arc is over, so next chapter will be the official start of the third arc! I honestly have no idea how this is going to play out as I once more have no plan whatsoever, but let me tell you something (insert Jon Bernthal meme here) I am exited for what is going to happen.
Should be fun! (hopefully)
Comments
Lucy Edwards
honestly I had a similar thought except as a skyrim player lol
Scarletmenace
I love how she basically acts like a fallout player. Luring dangerous creatures into settlements to see what will happen, occasionally doing something good on a whim, to killing/eating people on also said whim.
