Kevin the Bored
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91 Interlude: Chad Magnus Wolfgang
🕑 Added 2023-06-17 16:03:52 +0000 UTCColumbus, Georgia. April 4th, 17:34.
"Magne!" Turning to face whoever's calling my name, I see one of the troopers jogging down the hallway to catch up to me.
"Can I help you?" I ask, hoping that this isn't going to be like when fans in the street ask for autographs or whatever.
Especially since we are inside the PRT HQ for this city and it would be incredibly unprofessional of him.
Thankfully, my worries were for naught.
"The Director wants to see you in her office, apparently it's urgent." After finishing relaying his message, he waits for me to nod my head in acknowledgement before turning around and leaving.
Annoying.
Whenever the Director says something is 'urgent', it means that you have to drop whatever you're doing in favour of whatever's 'urgent'.
Guess I'm not going to get to try out the early release of the new GTA IV just yet then.
Orders are orders though, so I do as instructed, hoping for the sake of my gaming hours that it isn't going to be about what I think it might.
A short walk later and I am entering Director Jonas' office to see that she is not the only one waiting for me inside.
The Director herself is seated behind her busy desk with her Deputy-Director at her shoulder and two of my colleagues in front of her. Mimic, the leader of our branch of the Protectorate and Candy who, despite her cape name sounding like that of a strippers, is the one who keeps watch over the Wards are both standing at attention and don't even bother to greet me as I enter the tense room.
Great.
Why can it never just be good news?
"Magne, good. We can get started then." The Director starts the moment I close the door behind me, "two days ago we got word that the Nine is likely to be nearby thanks to the destruction of Attalla matching their modus operandi. However I have just gotten word of a potential sighting of Hatchet Face, meaning that it is likely that they are here. I'm sure I don't need to explain how bad that is for us?"
Awesome. Just what I wanted to hear. A psychotic band of serial mass murderers are here, most likely to commit even more mass murder.
...Is it too late to resign?
None of us say anything and our silence is enough of an answer for the Director to continue.
"Good. Now, the last time anyone got a good look at the Nine while living long enough to tell the tale was nearly two months ago which, considering their general pattern is worrying as it means that there is likely something that has been occupying them and anything that can hold their attention is likely to be bad for us. Worst case scenario is that Bonesaw has been cooking up something extra mean."
Of course. Because a raving band of killers isn't enough, so now we probably have to deal with some kind of horrific bioweapon.
I really hate this job, but on the bright side at least it comes with a dental plan.
Not liking the negativity of the conversation, I try to inject a little bit of positive energy in the hopes of balancing things out somewhat.
"Maybe it's the best case scenario instead and one of those crazy ass bounty hunters finally succeeded?"
Everyone knows that no bounty hunter will ever succeed but we all nod our head to acknowledge the impossible possibility. It's the least we can do, to hope.
"That would be a pleasant surprise, but we must prepare for the worst anyway. It's unlikely that Bonesaw will have some airborne bioweapon to unleash, as that wouldn't fit into Jack's sick little games, so our only real course of action is to prepare for what we know."
As if on a rehearsed cue, Deputy-Director Harrison moves forward and hands Director Simmons a thin dossier which she opens on the table in front of her, allowing us to see a picture and short analysis of Jack Slash.
"First among them is obviously the leader and sole permanent member, Jack Slash. His power is to extend the cutting edge of any blade to indeterminant limits. A single swipe of his knife can cut down whole crowds, but the projected blades aren't any sharper than whatever they are projecting from, so some decent full body armour is enough to counter him. It's everyone else that's the problem.
"Second is the most dangerous of them all, Bonesaw. As a surgical Tinker she is specialised in all things biological, making her not just a threat to us but to the world at large. Containment is preferred and if death is the only option you'd better hope you hit her with something strong enough to annihilate whatever viruses she has stored inside of her.
"Third is probably the scariest one, the first truly powerful villain to show themselves as well as the only being to ever truly injure Alexandria. The Siberian. Completely immune to all damage and capable of tearing through anything and everything as if it were soft, wet tissue paper. If you see her, you are to flee immediately, as containment and extermination are both considered impossible.
"Fourth is that last of the truly dangerous ones. Crawler. A monster that is the unholy mix of a dog and a tank. He can take anything you can throw at him and if you do manage to hurt him, then you'd better hope it kills him, because it won't work a second time. Containment is preferred, avoid lethal shots unless you're sure it will kill. We don't need to be making them any stronger.
"Fifth is Hatchet Face, dangerous only due to his power nullification aura. Keep a distance and only get close if you can fight a low Brute. Sixth is Shatterbird. We'll likely know when they are going to start moving due to her. Macro control of silicates, namely glass. Sneaking up on her is unlikely if you can't fly. Aim for containment or death.
"Seventh is Mannequin. We all know the story there, just don't allow your feelings to get in your way. No matter who he used to be, if you get a shot, you take it.
"Lastly is Chuckles. An insane clown with super strength in his arms and torso and super speed in his legs and head. Just kill it if you see it, containment would be a waste of resources."
With that done, Director Simmons takes a breath, leaning back into her chair as the reality of what we're facing truly sets in.
These are villains that even the Triumvirate gave up on trying to stop, not wanting or willing to risk losing our greatest to stop them when there are so many other threats out there.
What a fucked up world it is that we live in.
Before I can even finish lamenting our fate, the Director speaks up again, as if she just truly, genuinely hates the idea of us having a single happy thought.
"One last thing, a little over a month ago that new cape that was making the news seemingly disappeared. At the same time there was a small village that was wiped out to the last in typical Slaughterhouse fashion in the same area she was expected to be, so it's possible that there will be a nineth member, which is both good news and bad news.
"Good because it would mean they won't be recruiting, bad because they won't be recruiting. Also she's basically just another Crawler, so just treat them the same."
She's almost dismissive of the threat at this point, probably overwhelmed beyond the point of giving a fuck. After all, what does getting set on fire mean if you've already been shot in the head? You're already dead so it just doesn't matter.
Same principle here. Half of them are enough, anything after that and it just starts getting redundant really.
And I don't think them not recruiting is really good news. I see why it could be considered such, but like she said, it's just as bad as it is good. After all, if they aren't recruiting then what would be the point in sparing anyone?
I'd like to be spared if at all possible.
"Remember," her voice takes on a whole new level of seriousness as she stares us down with eyes that offer no argument, "these are all psychopaths with Kill Orders on their heads. If you see a chance to take one of them out, bar Bonesaw, then you take it. Understood?"
A round of nods follow her words, earning not quite a smile, but at least less of a frown from the obtuse woman.
I swear, bureaucracy can suck the joy out of anyone.
"Good. Mimic, I expect you to run a debrief for the rest of our Heroes, Wards included. No one is to do any patrols alone and if possible stay in groups of three. Am I clear?"
"Crystal, Ma'am." A sharp not follows mimics assent before the Director curtly gestures to the door.
"Good. Dismissed." She says and I don't hesitate to obey, quickly speed walking away to the dissatisfaction of the others present.
Not that I really care, it's not like I have a position with any extra responsibilities like the other two. The only reason I was even in the meeting is because I'm usually the one who leads our tactical operations against the villains.
But honestly, I just want to play some video games, because if the Nine really are going to show up, then I will probably be way too busy to play any, not that the console would even work once Shatterbird decides to ruin everyone's day.
Well, that or I'll just die, in which case I doubt there are video games in the afterlife.
Even more reason to get some gaming in now while I can.
With that in mind, I power walk back to my room, ignoring everyone who tries to speak to me on the way.
If it was important they'd stop me. They didn't so clearly whatever they had to say didn't matter.
In no time at all, I make it to my sanctuary and hurriedly close the door behind me. I'd lock it, but I'm not allowed to.
Not a minute later and I am just about to power up my console when my attention is stolen away by the sound of rushed knocking followed by my door being barged open before I even give a response by some trooper.
"Oh what now?" I impatiently ask, only for the trooper to respond by simply closing the door behind them without turning away from me.
Alarm bells are immediately going off in my mind but before I do anything I watch as they move their hands up to their helmet and start taking it off.
It's hard to tell genders with the PRT trooper uniforms being fully armoured head to toe but once a curtain of long, stark white hair flows out, pale and dull like a melancholic snowstorm, I get the feeling that they might be a woman.
However once she takes the helmet all the way off, I can only tilt my head in confusion.
The woman is wearing what can hardly be called a mask. In reality it's literally a piece of paper that has been stapled to her forehead and chin, both the staples clearly visible.
On the sheet of paper is some crudely drawn shapes that vaguely resemble the face of a clown, as if it was drawn by an actual child.
It's so out of left field that for a moment I forget to be alert about the intruder.
That is, until she raises one of her arms up high and waves it with her whole body, making me think that it actually might have been her that drew the 'mask'.
"Heya! How's it going?~"
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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
What do you think of this guys name? I was really tempted to call him James, even typed it out, but then I decided enough was enough and that I could call someone James later, so I just decided to give this guy all the cool guy names, cuz why not right? I can do what I want, I am God here.
Also, I should check if there's a character death tag on this site, cuz there is gonna be a lot more character death from now on lol
Comments
Lucy Edwards
got the idea from deadpool XD
Scarletmenace
Poor chad. I know that feeling. Also lol, stapled mask.
