Kevin the Bored
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151 Prep 2 Electric Boogaloo
🕑 Added 2023-08-20 07:38:01 +0000 UTCNew York, New York, November 11th, 15:37.
Uppercrust is a businessman.
As such, he finds few greater joys than watching a business deal come to fruition.
Eight months ago, a half mad cannibal clown walked through his office doors, with nothing to her name and no backing beyond her own personal strength.
This woman offered him a deal, a 'business opportunity', as she called it.
Now, a mere eight months later, that same woman has been acknowledged as one of the most powerful Parahumans in the country, and has built up an organisation with enough weight behind it that it would be fair to say she has eclipsed Uppercrust himself in terms of influence.
It's hard to say exactly how many 'Clowns' there are now, but they have at least three Tinkers, and they would only stay with good enough funding, meaning they also have plenty of money to throw around.
More proof of that is her Last Laugh venture. Uppercrust only supplied the paper trail to legitimise everything after all, the money all came from her.
Privately, Uppercrust would admit to having a laugh when he watched 'Callidora Clemente's' interview on the opening of her first arcade.
She never explicitly told him that she intended to use the new identity herself, but she didn't exactly hide the fact either. Though, Uppercrust can admit that he would struggle to recognise her as Callidora Clemente if he didn't already know about it.
Which brings his thoughts back to the deal they made back then.
When she came in, talking about how she was going to found an organisation not unlike Toybox, just without the requirement of being a Tinker, Uppercrust truly didn't expect for her to accomplish much in the field.
Granted, he did expect to see some success, but not so much and certainly not so soon. But having met and helped her as she was still setting it up, Uppercrust is in a perfect position to benefit from her growth.
For one, any business between The Elite and any Clowns is to be done through Uppercrust, giving his word far more weight to his 'fellows,' but Uppercrust has been enjoying the other part of their reworked deal.
Namely, just how much it is pissing off that ๐ต๐ฉ๐ถ๐จ Bastard Son.
Of all the leaders of the Elite, Uppercrust proudly considers himself to be the closest to a simple legitimate businessman. Bastard Son happens to stand on the exact opposite end of that spectrum.
His branch isn't used to hold territory or to make money or keep piece. They are simply the tip of the spear to either soften up areas before The Elite move in in force, or to combat any significant opposition.
But Uppercrust has never liked their presence. The fact that they are acknowledged to be nearly as bad as the Slaughterhouse Nine is proof enough of their lacking tact.
That is another thing that he knows pisses off Bastard Son. The fact that whenever anyone thinks of him and his men, the term 'second-rate Slaughterhouse Nine' tends to come up, and he hates being in their shadow, even if he'd never admit it.
He was already upset when Uppercrust used Tear to soften up Denver, instead of him and his, but when Tear later joined the Nine? And subsequently destroyed it from the inside?
Well, suffice to say, he is not happy with the idea of Tear's latest business proposal, no doubt feeling that he is once again being one-upped by the Nine as she is effectively half way to putting him out of a job, doing exactly what he does, just better.
Because Bastard Son's power is to imbue an impossible, god-like level of skill in seemingly random objects that his subjects can use in innumerable ways as tools and weapons. Effectively, he is an attack dog with an army of attack dogs.
But Tear seems to have figured out a method to pass some of her own power down on to normals as well, except while she can not give the same skill that Bastard Son can, the upgrades she can give are just as impressive, if not even more so.
All without it having any Master-like effect like Bastard Son's power does.
Uppercrust doesn't know all of the details of the procedure, having only been able to get the information he does have by claiming that he would not sign anyone up to a procedure he did not understand.
According to Tear, she has some special organs that allow for her power, and that she can grant a portion of that power to others through surgery, something she discovered by allowing a fellow Clown, Chibi, formerly Bonesaw of the Nine, cut her open and experiment on her.
A truly terrifying thought, and all the more proof of her madness.
The only part of the process that she was happy to discuss in great detail was how, to do the procedure on so many people, there was a need for a large number of her organ, something she accomplished by cutting it out and regenerating it over and over again.
Once again, proving her madness.
Apparently the only reason she could do this without dying was because she had Cerberus, formerly Crawler, with her, allowing her to feed her regeneration to her hearts content.
This time proving both of their madness.
The result of all of this, is that there are now hundreds of people, all working in her Last Laugh arcades as both normal staff and subtle security.
After all, the modification is enough to make one's skin resistant to blades and small arms fire, though anything greater will still hurt, even if it won't be as lethal as it should be. Combine that with the strength boost, and you have a somewhat mass producible procedure for giving people a Brute 2 rating.
The only side effects being a heightened preference and appetite for meat and a slight darkening of the sclera.
Apparently it's because the power is diluted, and giving any more would force the subject to eat human flesh, much like Tear herself, which would not be optimal.
Naturally, as recompense for finding so many people who are not only willing to go through the procedure and to work for her, but perhaps even desperate for it, causing them to be loyal to her, Uppercrust requested that some of his own men get to be enhanced as well.
Having slightly grey sclera instead of white and an increased appetite is hardly a steep cost to pay in exchange for two dozen low-level Brutes.
All things considered, Tear is starting to impact the big picture, making moves that are going to shake up the entire political landscape of the cape population.
So with everything that she is accomplishing, Uppercrust can't help but be curious as to what she is up to right now...
==========
"Jaaaaames!!~" I exclaim as I kick his office door open, a disgruntled Jack behind me, to scared of me to say anything as I ignore all codes of conduct, "I ran out of moneyyyy!! Gimme some? Please?~ Pretty please?~"
Being the rude and unfilial child that he is, the brat only spares me a disdainful look before going back to poking and prodding at a weird looking slab of meat.
It doesn't smell good, so all I can say is that it isn't human.
But I really did run out of money. I only have less than ten grand left, and I had tens of millions last time I checked. The only reason I know I ran out is because Numberman, the smug cunt, personally called me to let me know that my card declined.
What an asshole, right?
So, despite Last Laugh being mostly set up, I still need some more money to finish everything off, though that still won't be done for another month or two, longer if I don't get any money.
Which is why I immediately launch myself to James' feet, lying on the ground as I hug his leg.
"Pleaseee?~ I only need a few million!~" I beg, but his response is to just kick me off his leg.
How rude.
Fine then, if begging won't work.
Jumping to my feet, I grab the weird meat ball on his table, only a little bit bigger than a softball, and I bite it in half, swallowing it in two mouthfuls.
Eugh, tastes like grass, and not the good kind.
Jack and Chibi, who is sitting in the office part of the office, rather than the lab part where James and I are, both stare at me slack jawed, while James looks both very annoyed and also on the verge of laughing out loud.
So with a smug smirk, I wipe the juice that got on my lips away and speak again, this time sounding a lot more hoity toity, rather than pleading.
"Gimme money or I'm gonna eat all your weird science stuff!~" I declare, righteously.
"...What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asks with a laugh and a roll of his eyes.
But I just give him a shrug and stare at him until he finally just sighs and moves over to his desk.
It was never really a question of whether or not he'd give me money. After all, I put him in this position exactly for this reason in the first place, so that there would be someone making a shit tonne of money that would be willing to give me some whenever I needed it.
He wouldn't be where he is right now if I wasn't sure he'd be willing to work as a second bank for me.
Doesn't mean I can't have fun though.
As James takes his seat and opens up a laptop so he can wire me money, I move over to the couches and jump over the back of the one Riley is sitting on, landing close enough that our shoulders are pushing against each other as I lean against her.
"So how have you been Chibi?~ I hope I haven't caused you to feel overworked?" I ask, making her shake her head with a smile.
"Not at all! Well, it ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ get a little bit repetitive, but I found myself doing better with each surgery, and I sort of enjoyed just mastering a single operation, instead of just doing whatever comes to mind like normal." She says, all smiles and cheer, completely the opposite to James who's become so grumpy.
It's probably just puberty, but suddenly finding himself having to deal with an expanding drug empire probably hasn't helped things.
A ping goes off in my pocket and I check my phone to see that I just received thirty million dollars.
Neat.
What a dutiful and filial child he is.
Totally worth making him a little grumpier of a person.
Still, I don't bother acknowledging the transaction, and instead just keep talking with Riley.
"I'm glad to hear it!~ Were you able to do what I asked with Uppercrust's lot too? And what about the 'advanced' option?" I ask, immediately regretting it as she gets the face she gets when she's about to say a lot of really long words.
Well fuck, time to turn my brain off for a minute then, I just need to catch the cliff notes.
I wonder if Uppercrust will even notice? Probably not right away, but I figure he'll know eventually.
I doubt he'll care though. He's a businessman after all, it'd be hypocritical to be mad at me for doing business shrewdly.
Besides, it's only fair, since he totally scams me whenever he hires me. He knows that I don't care about money, but also that I like having enough to spend.
So when he should be paying tens of millions to hire someone like me, he only pays millions, and we both just pretend that it's normal.
That's probably also part of why we get along so well, since our relationship brings him more money and me more fun. A win-win.
Tuning in back with the real world, I turn my brain back on just in time to catch the tail end of Riley's words.
"-but the 'advanced' option still has the same issue, and I'm not sure if I can fix it. Maybe with a sufficiently potent biokinesis power I could work something out, but as it is, I just can't do it." Riley says, finishing her tirade.
Er, 'but' is generally used in opposition, as a way to connect two countering points, so if the advanced option is a bust, then that probably means the other part is all good.
Eh, it doesn't really matter in the end if it worked or not, so I don't care enough to ask for clarification.
Not to mention, it'd hurt her feelings if she knew I wasn't paying attention.
"I'm pretty sure there are some human traffickers around here somewhere, Orphid? Orpid? Something like that anyway, I know it began with an 'O' at least. But they basically make whole new people from what I remember. Just sorta nab a dude, then one guy fucks with their mind with a Master power to turn them into perfect slaves, then the other guy fucks with their bodies to do custom orders for rich assholes with some weird fuckin' fetishes, and that's coming from ๐ฎ๐ฆ, so you know it's ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ๐ฅ."
I've only actually managed to see one picture of someone suspected to be a 'product' of Or-whatever, and it was fucking messed up, even for me. Like, they had a normal sized head and neck, and normal sized hips, but everything in-between was fucking ๐ฉ๐ถ๐จ๐ฆ, like, 500lbs huge, and since their legs were jut not there, I doubt they could physically move by themselves.
That's all without even mentioning whatever the fuck they did to her skin, because that picture did ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต have any human flesh in it.
Anyway.
Riley looks slightly uncomfortable, probably because her mother figure is talking about weird fetishes with her, and James is just silently laughing off to the side, while Jack simply seems confused about why I'm acting the way that I am, but is clearly too scared to voice her confusion.
How fun.
"Oh by the way, I've decided that we're going to be having a proper meeting with every Clown in a couple of days now that Travel has mostly finished setting up the waypoints needed. Attendance will be mandatory, I'll send out a message later with details. It'll be fun!"
The only reason for it being in a few days instead of now, or last week, is because the venue is still being built, since I wanted something suitably dramatic, another reason why I ran out of money.
Ah well, it'll all be worth it in the end.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Is this chapter bad? I honestly can't tell if I even put everything I wanted to put in it in it, cuz I wrote this chapter backwards. Like, I did the lusia bit, then ran out of things to write before the minimum word cap and did the uppercrust thing, then put that first.
Point is, there was a lot of stuff to talk about, and I feel like I didn't get everything in as cleanly as I wanted it.
Doesn't help that I'm gonna go to bed after writing this.
Also, to be clear, it's not that I ran out of things to write, it's just that the next stuff imma write is gonna be the meeting, and that should have a whole chapter.
I'd say I'm looking forward to it, but that would be a lie. There are 15 Clowns. I have to write a social interaction between 15 people, all of whom are severely fucked in the head. I really must hate myself
Comments
Lucy Edwards
lmao, at least you now have the added benefit of knowing that you made me happier than I was 5 minutes ago :)
Veronica
Now I'm here instead of scribblehub, with the same problem as yesterday.
