Kevin the Bored
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114 Interlude: Rachel 'String Theory' Parker
🕑 Added 2023-07-15 01:54:46 +0000 UTCLooking frantically between all the flashing lights and monitors yelling out warnings, I can't help but wonder where it all went wrong.
Everything has been going fine for the last two years, and now all of a sudden it's going to shit.
After Triggering with a Tinker power, my first couple of months were rather slow, not having the money to get the materials I needed to build what I wanted.
But then I had the amazing idea to solve that issue. My power basically lets me build anything I want after all, the only limitation being that every creation runs on a countdown timer starting from the moment I start building it, making time management and available resources incredibly important to keep in mind when I design something.
Which is how I got the idea to just start blowing stuff up, completely at random, and then auctioning off safeties, to guarantee that I don't blow you up next time.
No one want to be blown up after all, so plenty of people bought safeties from me, protecting themselves and supplying me with the resources needed to build my masterpieces at the same time.
But for the longest time now, there has been one design gnawing at the back of my mind, tempting me with it's beautiful allure, yet I have never had the resources to build it.
I was saving up for it, and I'd predicted that I'd be able to have it built some time next year, but then, someone reached out to me through my PHO account.
Now, that in and of itself is nothing new, plenty of people PM me, either to buy safety from me or in some attempt to 'recruit' me.
Pah! As if I would ever work under some 2-bit nobodies. I'm one of the greatest Tinkers in the world god damnit! I don't 'need' anyone to 'protect' me.
All those retards that thought otherwise soon learnt exactly how little I thought of their 'offers' in a rather explosive manner.
I will not have some losers treat me as if I'm just another Tinker.
Which is part of what made the PHO message catch my interest, the other part being that the messenger, Negante, had the 'Clown' tag, meaning that he is part of the same group as the Fool who has recently become something of a celebrity online.
Some of the videos on FoolsNet are really funny too, so I was willing to hear him out.
However, once he started talking about me joining him as a 'Clown', I almost ended the conversation there, that is, until he went into more detail about what joining would entail.
It was basically all positives and no negatives really, since it's less of an organisation and more just a network of influential, powerful or resourceful people.
He explained that to join the group you just need to both have something to offer, and to 'want to have fun', whatever that means. If it wasn't for the fact that I apparently passed that criteria, I'd say that it was a stupid and poorly defined entrance requirement.
Though, I suppose when the network is founded by someone crazy enough to join the Slaughterhouse Nine, it should be expected.
On the topic of poorly defined, the 'requirements', if they can even be called as such, for it's members are beyond vague, and I can't figure out if it's supposed to be some kind of test or not, because I really don't see them making a mistake like this, but if it's genuine then that's just as confusing.
I mean, really. 'You must help other Clowns in need if you are in the area or if you feel like it.' Who puts 'if you feel like it' into a rulebook?
It would be hilariously easy to only receive benefits while never doing anything for anyone else, and while Negante's later words certainly reassured me that the rules truly are that lax, they didn't stop me from feeling incredulity at it all.
According to him, 'the Clowns were founded on the idea of letting fun people have fun by giving them the opportunities or resources they wouldn't have been able to get alone.'
Either way, I'm happy to accept the benefits when all it'll really cost me is maybe a favour or two, and some time to share stories with the other Clowns.
All in all, a very beneficial deal.
As a matter of fact, after talking with Negante, who also happens to be a Tinker, for a while, we ended up talking about what materials we need for our crafts, and that lead to him saying that he is completely willing to part with literal millions of dollars if it means I'll 'make something fun' out of it all.
Naturally, after confirming that he is being honest, to which he just said: 'Oh yeah, I'm like, super rich by now,' I accepted his generous offer, and not even half an hour later I had eight and a half million dollars in my bank account, which really made me question his apparent faith.
Then again, with a member of the Nine on call, I suppose there's no reason to really fear me turning traitor. Also, it is ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ weird to know that I have one of the Nine's numbers in my phone, even if I've never called it.
A part of me wonders if Negante is just that rich that a few million isn't a big deal to him. I guess the drug trade really pays, though I have to wonder just which part of the drug trade he is in, he never gave details after all.
After that, he let me know to call March, another Clown, or Tear if I ever need to buy some hard to get materials, because apparently, while Tear has connections, only March is actually in a position to make use of them.
A bit of rooting around online tells me that those 'connections' are probably with the Elite, and obviously I called March, for reasons that don't need explaining really.
All of this lead to that idea in the back of my mind surging forward to the forefront now that the materials needed to build it are all available to me, and at that point I just couldn't stop myself.
And so, two weeks after becoming an official Clown, I had done it.
My magnum opus, the Firmament-driver, or F-driver for short.
A weapon so powerful it could shatter the moon, or at least part of it, and hit it with enough force to knock it out of orbit.
However, that all leads to now, me sitting here, in what should be a ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ base, surrounded by blaring sirens and warning noises, telling me how just about every single one of my intruder alarms is going off, and most of my defences, rudimentary as they were considering my power's proclivity towards exact timing, have been set off or otherwise destroyed.
I don't know how it came to this. Everything was going just fine, all until it wasn't.
After finishing my F-driver, I obviously wanted to put it to good use. Negante wanted something fun? I was going to give him something fun, and since it was the 2nd of July when I finished it, I had the perfect idea.
The 4th of July, Independence day.
Every American loves celebrating Independence day, and those celebrations almost always include a whole lot of fireworks.
So why not show the world what a ๐ต๐ณ๐ถ๐ฆ firework looks like?
So I sent out my demands not just to the American government themselves, but to every world leader of any significance, my demands being simple.
Work together to give me ten billion dollars, or I'll blow the moon out of orbit.
Ten billion is a perfectly reasonable amount to demand, with each of them chipping in it wouldn't even be too hard to gather, and my actions would have an effect on the entire planet, so no one country should have to foot the bill anyway.
That was two days ago.
Yesterday, my drones sent me video of a particularly determined looking Alexandria tearing through my decoy base in Wyoming with a particular energy that makes me think she's not too happy with me for some reason.
Though, she's a lot less intimidating when you know exactly what she looks like under that suit of hers, though her face is still secret, so no one knows her identity, but everyone ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด know that she has an innie, so you win some you lose some, I guess.
๐๐ณ๐ข๐ด๐ฉ!
Jumping from my seat, I spin rapidly around at the sudden noise, my surprise dimming to bitter resentment as I take in the sight of a particularly vindictive looking Alexandria.
Speak of the Devil and she shall appear, huh.
"Alexandria! Don't you know it's rude to show up without being invited, especially without even knoc-๐จ๐ถ๐ฉ!" My sarcastic words are interrupted by an unyielding hand around my throat as the 'Invincible Woman' blurs down at me, pushing me into the wall behind me.
My back crashes into my monitors, shattering them as she keeps pushing, not letting up until my back is against the wall, my feet half a foot higher than my desk and bits and pieces of my monitors digging into my back.
Looking into her reflective visor, I see my own eyes blown wide, from the steadily growing fear or the lack of breath I couldn't say, but as I see what is visible of her face set into a stone cold line, I start to worry that she's just going to kill me.
No ones around and I don't keep any cameras in here, she could easily write me off as an 'unfortunate accident' and as it gets harder and harder to breathe, I feel a primal sort of terror start to take over my mind.
I'm going to die.
This isn't how this was supposed to go.
I can't die here!
I can't-
I don't want to die.
As my vision starts to fade, I reach out, desperately trying to push her arm away, no matter how futile it is, and as darkness starts to overtake me, I barely manage to force out one word.
"Puh...lea...se." Darkness is all that follows my desperate plea.
I don't know how long I was unconscious, but when I wake up, I find myself incapable of moving.
It takes me a little while to gather my bearings enough to take in my surroundings, my head feeling fuzzy, a feeling I recognise to be drug induced, meaning I've been sedated.
Yet, when I am finally in a state to be taking in my surroundings, I am left sorely disappointed, as all that I can see is that I am in a plain, small metal box, my arms trapped in a straitjacket and my mouth muzzled.
But the part that truly makes me feel panic, is the stylised dragon coiling around a birdcage that is emblazoned on the front of the straitjacket.
Dragon.
Birdcage.
They're going to Birdcage me.
Unless I'm already in the Birdcage? No one truly knows what it's like after all, but I really, ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ hope I'm still being transported, because if ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด is all I have to look forward to for the rest of my life, then I'm going to go crazy.
Luckily for my rising panic, I feel a sudden shudder as my surroundings lurch slightly, followed by an almost blinding light suddenly peeking through a slowly growing crack in the wall.
The crack keeps growing until it's clear that it's actually just a door being lowered, allowing me to see outside of the room.
The sight does not bring me any joy.
It's a courtroom.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck!
They're really going to Birdcage me.
It doesn't matter that I'm muzzled, nothing I could say would change anything. This is just going to be another sham trial, and I'm going to get sentenced to eternal imprisonment in the one prison that no one has ever escaped.
However, right as I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack, I remember something that helps calm me down, if only slightly.
The Clowns.
I may only be new, but I'm still a Clown right?
They'll come help me, come bust me out of my transport.
They'll keep me out of the 'Cage.
...Right?
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Fun fact! When I started this fic, there were 3 people I had in mind for joining the Clowns, they are the only 3 people that I planned ahead of time to join up, everyone else was just going with the flow.
2 of those people have now joined, the first was March, the second String Theory(she doesn't have a canon name btw), both of them are characters that I know basically nothing about beyond what the wiki says, as March is from Worms sequel, that I haven't read, and String hardly has any detail about who she is.
Naturally, in typical me fashion of refusing to make things easy for myself, the third person is also a woman from Worms sequel that I know nothing about beyond her wiki, but I'll keep her as a surprise, unless someone manages to guess her, which, going by y'alls' guessing ability that you've displayed, I highly doubt is gonna happen lol
Also, PHO chap tomorrow(technically today).
Eh, for the sake of time zones, the PHO RP shiz will be happening in 17 hours from when I post this, be ready on discord if ya wanna have your name in it, cuz Imma only be playing the part of canon characters
