Kevin the Bored
patreon
124 Scary World
🕑 Added 2023-07-25 22:38:48 +0000 UTCOkay, so it actually took longer for March to read through several detailed psych profiles, including the persons habits and favourites foods and basically everything about them than I thought it would.
As a matter of fact, she's still reading through it now even after we've arrived at Portland.
I'm doing my best to ignore the mocking look Lucy is sending me about my poor show of timing.
When we reached the edges of the city, there was an isolated van waiting for Crawler, with the back open and the driver sitting there with a blindfold on, which he obviously took off once he felt the van dip down from Crawler's entrance.
He doesn't know what he's transporting, doesn't even know if it's a person or an object. All he knows is where to wait and where to go.
Which is really more for his sake than any of ours. We don't particularly care about being seen here, especially since Alexandria is already expecting us anyway, but that doesn't mean the Elite want anyone to know that they've abetted the Nine.
Obviously, people will be less reluctant to work with us once word gets out about the Nine being no more, though I'm pretty confident that some wannabes will try and revive the group.
This is a world with dumbasses that worship the Endbringers who literally do nothing but destroy a city every other month. Cultists and retards, the lot of them.
Either way, we made it to Portland just fine, and there was a transport there waiting for us, this one I decide to drive myself, just so there are less people involved.
We waited for Crawler's van before taking off of course, because I had to open the back and actually ask him if he wants to join the fun, and subsequently become a Clown.
Naturally, being the good boy that he is, he accepted right away, eager to please the one person he has ever felt to truly understand him.
He needs a new name though, and I can't think of anything. Maybe just Dog or something, Hound?
Nah, that'd be lazy.
Point is, we're all heading to where String's transport will be soon enough, even if not all of us are participating.
This is a strictly Clown only operation, and Burnscar is way to boring most of the time to be a member. She's only fun when she's surrounded by fire, but even then, she's mostly just fun to watch, without fire she's just too mellow, so I figure I'll give her to James or something.
Or maybe to that mercenary? I remember Burnscar saying something about having a friend who joined up with some mercenaries. If their leader is fun enough then they could even add to my Clowns, who knows?
Bonesaw however is just too broken right now, so she obviously won't be any help, at least not without forcing a mask on her for a quick fix, but that's not what I'm looking for here, and she's a Tinker anyway, and this is a short notice kind of thing.
Which just leaves me, March, Crawler, Lucy, or Nutcracker, if she accepts the name and Murder Bear, or Queenie. I don't know what her actual name is, and she can't tell me yet, but I prefer Queenie.
Honestly, the only reason I invited her into my Clowns is because she's funny, because her power's pretty weak. Out of all Clowns, she probably scores the lowest in the 'have something to offer' measure, but she makes up for it with how fun she is.
Either way, that makes for a clean five on five, and frankly, even without March giving us a plan, our line-up vastly outmatches their own.
I could probably solo them, depending on how Prometheus' power works against my regen, same with Crawler really, and honestly, maybe even Lucy too.
...Man, we're going to annihilate them so hard it's not even funny, it's going to be like hitting a disabled, legless puppy that was just hit by a car, with a fucking train.
Just, completely unnecessary overkill, which is actually kind of funny now that I think about it, especially since it's happening to Alexandria.
Speaking of, I asked Harley about some power related stuff, namely how March and Lucy could pop the Siberian for some reason when I, and literally everyone else that has ever fought her, could do nothing at all.
Her response was enlightening to say the least.
Apparently, there is a term rarely used in power classification, known as 'all-or-nothing,' which is honestly rather self explanatory, just like a lot of power classifications.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out what 'Mover' or 'Thinker' type powers would do.
But all-or-nothing powers, as the name implies, either work perfectly, or not at all.
The list of capes confirmed to have all-or-nothing powers that she was able to get for me was very short, and included the expected duo of Eidolon and Glaistig Uaine, the Faerie Queen. Because obviously the 'I have all the powers' assholes would have all the powers.
Ironically enough, one of the entries for all-or-nothing powers was Gray Boy, the single most terrifying cape to ever grace this earth and one of the founding members of the Slaughterhouse Nine.
His power was particularly scary, enough that he was feared more than the Siberian, probably more than the fucking Simurgh, depending on who you ask really.
They're both a whole different kind of terrifying. The Simurgh corrupts your mind, turning your own thoughts against you, against your friends and there's really nothing you can do about it.
She's a subtle kind of scary. A terror that hides in the back of your head, always watching.
Gray Boy, well; in true Slaughterhouse fashion, he completely lacked any of that subtlety, and I honestly can't decide which is scarier, though I'm actually leaning towards Gray Boy.
If you're listening Simurgh, please don't take it personally, I didn't mean anything bad by it, he's just really- you know what?
Fuck that, never mind. If I'm literally pre-emptively apologising in my head to the Simurgh about maybe insulting her out of very real fear, then I think she's clearly the scariest of the two.
...I really hope she isn't reading my mind right now. Not that I wouldn't want you here! I'm sure you're lovely! Ok, fuck.
There is a reason you don't think about the future and past seeing telepathic psychic Endbringer that uses people as chess pieces in moves that last literal years before they come to fruition.
Lucy could be a fucking Simurgh bomb for fucks sake, and at some, pivotal moment in the future she could just suddenly snap, all because some guy was fucked with by the Simurgh, and he talked to someone else, who made someone else kill themselves, causing someone else to go crazy, all to effect someone who would say something to Lucy that would trigger her at some specific point half a decade from now.
...Yeah, the Simurgh is the scariest.
Moving on, before I accidentally drive myself insane without her even actually having to do anything, Gray Boy!
His power is that he traps an area in a space-time loop. Now, that seems simple on the surface, but that just means you're not considering this properly.
A common example, considering his company, is that he would kill someone, probably in some brutal manner, and then he would use his power on them.
That person, from now and possibly for eternity, as none of his bubbles have popped yet, even years after his death, will relive that experience of death, over and over again, without stop.
To make things somehow even worse, the people's minds don't get reset. There are people out there in his bubbles, that no one can move and are thus just, out there, who have died literally hundreds of millions of times, if my math is right.
Apparently, they go insane pretty quickly, but then it keeps going and they get their sanity back, only for it to break again, over and over again, a loop inside of an equally horrific loop.
Unfortunately for him, he was alive back when the Faerie Queen was roaming about, and she ended up killing him, 'claiming' him for her court. I wonder if he's the only all-or-nothing power she has, or if she's got more?
There's a reason she's the bogeywoman of all capes after all.
Needless to say, I really don't want to get into a fight with the Faerie Queen, and that is purely because of Gray Boy, I'm not all that afraid of whatever else she would have available to her.
Back to the point at hand, the Siberian was an all-or-nothing projection, and since when one all-or-nothing makes contact with another, the two effects cancel each other out, that means that you just need to tap her with a perfect power and she pops.
It just so happens, by pure fucking chance, that both Lucy and March have access to all-or-nothing powers, which, in hindsight, explains why Crawler couldn't adapt to Lucy's power.
Apparently there was even another two new additions to the list of all-or-nothings, one being some girl called Flechette in NY, who apparently triggered with March, which is interesting, and a fresh trigger, like less than a month ago fresh, who can stop things in time over in Brockton Bay.
Point is, without at least one of them, I'd have had literally no way to deal with the Siberian, so that's nice, I suppose.
Eventually, we do reach our intended location, right as the sun is starting to rise.
March has finished reading through the information Harley sent, but we decided it'd be easier to just explain the plan once, so we were waiting to arrive so that she didn't have to go through it all again for Crawler.
Crawler's van was leading us until now, and he does a full U-turn once we arrive, making me smirk in amusement as I see him put on his blindfold again as I drive past.
Our windows are tinted too, so it's not like he can see our faces either, and I find it incredibly amusing that he's in the presence of so many powerful capes, that have a combined kill count in the thousands, and he doesn't even realise it.
As far as he's concerned, he might as well be dropping off drugs for a pick up.
Crawler get's out of the back with no problem, and the dude starts the van, still without taking his blindfold off, and drives away.
It's a good thing we're in such an open area, so it's not like he has to do anything but drive in a relatively straight line for a bit before he can take the blindfold off, and by design we are in a location that isn't going to see any traffic.
Getting out myself, I leave Riley in the back of the van, and without any fire Burnscar is very agreeable, so she acquiesces to staying inside without any issues.
I even leave my phone with Burnscar so she can play games if she gets bored.
Bonesaw probably won't even realise any time has passed between Jack's death and whenever I get around to actually fixing her.
Shame I'm busy right now, but I can get on that right after this.
Which just leaves the five of us sitting down in a field, well, four of us are sitting down; March is standing with a pointing stick that she got from somewhere, standing next to a foldable board thing, like an easel I guess, with some empty papers on it and a pen, looking like she is truly ready to give the lecture of a lifetime.
I have no idea where she got the stick from, or the easel or paper or pen, but I think it's funnier like that, so I don't ask.
Realistically, she probably just asked for it to be added to the van before we got there, my mind unhelpfully supplies, ruining the immersion.
This is why I hate being smart, you can't just enjoy the simple things.
Snapping me out of my thoughts, March smacks her pointer stick into the palm of her hand, and I just know that she's grinning behind that mask of hers.
"Right then boys and girls! Listen up because I'm only go to say this once!" So says the pubescent girl to the mass murdering monster tank dog, the serial killing cannibal, the girl with a kill count over a thousand and a modified bear human designed for murder.
What a world we live in.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Once again, March was supposed to have a speaking role here, but I got too carried away with writing about gay boy and angle of fuck you, cuz they're both scary af, and that's fun.
They are easily the two scariest beings on the planet, imo.
Also, I find it hilarious that March, a 13~ year old girl, is going to be bossing around two infamously powerful and insane capes, as well as another two girls who, while less infamous, also have really high kill counts, especially lucy, thanks to bonesaw
