Kevin the Bored
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175 I Just Want To Talk
🕑 Added 2023-09-13 21:38:41 +0000 UTCSome Desert, Nebraska, December 29th, 09:09.
I have discovered yet another issue that I simply forgot to think about.
See, I've been running around in this desert with my dog for at least an hour by now, but there is one vital thing I forgot to consider when searching for a giant invisible cube filled with Tinkers.
Namely, that it is invisible.
So while I am sure that it's in the general area, it's not like they're just gonna open up and invite me in, that would defeat the whole purpose of hiding away like rats.
Ah fuck it.
With a disgruntled shrug, I force a ball of blood out of my chest, about the size of a volleyball. I almost call out to Cerberus to duck before remembering that there's no point and simply throw the sphere into the air above me instead.
I let it arc for a bit, but once it is about fifty metres in the air, I send a thought to my disconnected blood, and with a light bang, the ball explodes into tiny but sharp shards, sending thousands of needles piercing the surrounding land.
Naturally, being the idiot I am, I was staring right at the ball when it exploded, so one of my eyes also got needled.
Ow.
Yanking the needle out, I observe my surroundings with one eye, the other now being on a conveniently sized kebab stick.
Everywhere around me is a field of small, dark red spikes. All except for one spot a small distance away. Well, small for me. Over there, my needles instead seem to have bounced off of an invisible wall, spreading out some hardly perceivable ripples seemingly in the air.
Popping my eye in my mouth like a lollipop, I turn both of my eyes to the invisible wall and smile over my snack.
"Found ya,~" I say, my voice a playful singsong.
However, as soon as I start in the direction of the forcefield, a sudden gust of wind blows past me, likely the result of a large object suddenly attempting to fly away if the dust patterns are anything to go by.
"Oh no you don't.~"
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Many people have wonders as to the nature of the ever elusive Toybox before, yet very few have any idea what it is like, even fewer still those who are not also Tinkers.
The Toybox is a megastructure. A perfect cube over a thousand metres wide and long, filled with such a diverse plethora of technology that even Dragon would blush upon seeing it all.
However, despite the vast swathes of technology, each piece decades to centuries more advanced than what the human race is currently capable of, the Tinkers who dwell inside are not feeling the level of security that they should.
They are surrounded by uncountable weapons, from guns to lasers to tech that manipulates space and time, even a massive forcefield that surrounds the structure, granting not only invisibility but also protection strong enough to withstand a nuclear bomb or two.
However, despite all of that, none of them feel safe as they gather in the control room, sweating nervously as they stare at the various monitors depicting the outside desert.
Or, more importantly, the infamous pair wandering said desert seemingly aimlessly.
Their defences are secure, yes, but their greatest defence has always been that no one could find them, and even if they could fight against the duo outside, what would be the point?
As an enclave of Tinkers, they are naturally well informed, and anyone who knows anything is well aware that both of the Monsters outside of their door are nigh unstoppable by themselves.
Pair them together and all they can do is stay quiet and hope they give up and leave.
"Do you think they'll leave?" One of the eight Tinkers present, Clockwork, says, his voice wavering and filled with nerves.
"I don't know," the current most senior member, Pyrotechnical, responds, studying the monitors with the same intensity as everyone else.
"Do you think they're here for us?" Clockwork asks again, seemingly dealing with his nerves by asking questions.
"I don't know," Pyrotechnical responds again, a growing irritation starting to overshadow his nervousness.
The duo outside seem to pause, the scarier of the two, Tear, seeming to give up, giving the group of Tinkers some hope.
"What would they even want with us?" Clockwork asks again, pushing Pyrotechnical over the edge with his pointless questions.
"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" He yells, turning to his fellow Tinker, "I'M WATCHING THE SAME SHIT AS YOU! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING YOU DON'T SO STOP ASKING ME!"
"Uh, Pyro?" The nervous voice of the second most Junior member, Keeper speaks up, drawing Pryotechnical's irate attention to herself.
"WHAT!" He yells as he turns to her, to worked up by Clockwork's incessant questioning to control his voice, only for his face to falter as he witnesses the expressions of everyone else in the room.
With robotic movements, he turns his head back to the monitors, following Keeper's shaky finger to see what she is pointing at.
It seems that Tear, still a decent distance away, has conjured some sort of ball in front of her and thrown it into the sky.
Before anyone can even begin to question the orb's purpose, it explodes in the sky, sending fragments scattering throughout the area, and a separate monitor helpfully informs them all of an impact on their shields.
"Shit." None of them know who said it, but they all agree with the sentiment as the madwoman's blazing red eyes snap in their direction.
"UP! UP! GO UP!" Pyrotechnical yells out, but Big Rig was already smashing commands into the console before he even spoke, having the same thought.
However, it seems that their efforts were pointless as the megastructure they call sanctuary proves entirely incapable of escaping the Clown.
They barely make it a dozen feet off the ground before the woman had launched herself at them, impacting the barrier feet first, following which a torrent of blood explodes out of her body, forming numerous tendrils that each turn back to dig into the earth.
At the same time, either by chance or design, the woman's madly grinning face happens to land right in front of one of the cameras, allowing for everyone in the room to get a clear view of her fingernails growing, seemingly covered in a layer of bloody distortion.
With her new weapons, Tear does not hesitate to slam her hand into the forcefield, piercing through it as if it was warm butter and grabbing a hold of the true structure within, after which even more blood pours out of the woman, forming even more tendrils that each dig into the vast surface of the cube.
The collective of Tinkers can only ignore the flashing lights warning of the shield integrity lowering and watch with gape jaws as the insane Clown proceeds to do the impossible.
With a might heave and an explosion of blue energy the woman reels back, dragging the entire Toybox back down to the earth like it isn't the size of a small city.
"This isn't possible." A voice complains before the room is shaken by a mighty crash!
There are enough stabilisers built into the building that the room doesn't shake them too much, but the shock at the display of strength they just witnessed in combination is enough to knock a few of the weaker willed members to the ground, which is to say all of them.
"D-do you-" Clockwork starts, only to be cut of by Pyrotechnical.
"I swear to fucking god Clock, if you don't shut the fuck up..." He lets the threat linger, not because he didn't have a threat in mind, but because of what is happening on the screens before them.
The woman who just pulled them out of the sky is standing on the ground once more, her face inches away from one of the cameras as she knocks on the walls.
"Helloooo?~ I am looking to purchase goods and engage in commerce.~ Can you please let me in?~ Pretty please?~" As much as her words are phrased like a question, it's clear to them all that there is only one real response.
"W-what do we do?" The newest member, Augment, asks, having only joined up two weeks ago.
"Isn't that obvious?" Glace responds, her voice almost as cold as her specialty, "we do what she says and hope that she doesn't do anything worse than rob us."
======
What's taking so looooooong.~
I just want to purchase wares and maybe make a deal or two, why did they have to try running away?
Shouldn't they be inviting new business in, instead of trying to leave?
Unless maybe they just didn't see us here? In that case, it's a good thing I got hold of them before they accidentally left.
...Ah, who am I kidding. Just because I don't want to accept it, that doesn't mean I should ignore it. They were just running away from me.
How annoying. There are downsides to being so renown I guess, people just see you and give up.
It sucks.
I wonder if Eidolon gets it? He's the strongest after all, maybe all he really wants is a good fight, to stretch his muscles for once. Then again, he is a boring hero, despite being powerful enough he could easily take over a country and rule as king, which is what any sane person would do with his power.
"Her Cerberus, do you think they're gonna let us in or should we just prove that we're not vampires and go in without an invitation?~" I ask, but Cerberus looks at me like I didn't just ask a perfectly reasonable question.
However, before I can answer my own question, the wall in front of me folds away into itself, forming a rather large doorway that reveals seven figures, which is odd, since I smell eight.
But that curiosity is answered as the wall continues to fold away until I am given a clear sight of what is undoubtably a giant ass robot suit, like, the size of a building big.
Eh, it's honestly not as impressive as I thought it'd be, probably just because of all the shit I've already seen. Still cool though, but I'm more interested in looking at Stacy, who seems particularly nervous even among her quivering fellows.
It's almost like she's hiding something from them or something, such as being the cause of my visit, but that would just be silly.~
I'm also not at all surprised that they're all pussies, because nerds, obviously. I bullied enough of them in high school to know that they don't grow any balls until they start making 80k a year.
Well, that's what my mom said, I never actually met any techies that made that much, so I can't be sure.
I got distracted, where was I?
"I assure you, there is no need for violence, Miss Tear," some woman says, her cold tone almost hiding the fear wafting from her, "we are fully willing to cooperate, just tell us what you are looking for and we will se what we can do."
Haaah, sometimes I wish things will go back to how they were, before I was super cool and powerful. Back when no one knew me or respected me, because this is just boring.
I don't want you to just bend over and give me whatever I want! That's boring.
Trying to push past that, I give them all a cheerful smile as I respond.
"Mah mah, you say that like I'm robbing you!~ I'm just here for business, same as anyone else you deal with.~ That being said, mind if we go inside se we can talk shop?~"
Predictably and annoyingly, my words completely fail to disrupt the tense atmosphere, and despite following after them with a completely relaxed gait, both of my hands in my pockets and doing my best to seem harmless, they only seem to grow more afraid.
I don't get it, I just can't win.
If I try and scare them they shake like leaves in the wind, but if I try and appear harmless then they get even more scared?
Like, I get the logic of the whole, 'it's scary because it doesn't seem scary but can still kill us' but what the hell am I supposed to do for them to not be afraid of me?
Well, I could probably work it out, but not on a first meeting.
How annoying.
Oh well, I'll just get what I want and leave then. Fighters are more fun than Tinkers. They at least have some balls.
=================
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Unga bunga Lusia is learning the downsides of being terrifying. And yeah, her acting like a completely normal person makes her waaaaay scarier. Think Homelander right? He's scary cuz he just seems like a dude until you look into his eyes and there's just something wrong about him.
Also, Toybox in canon lives in a seperate dimension, but the guy who made that was 12 in canon which would make him 9-10 right now, so I figure he'll trigger in like a year, and have taken creative liberty to what the toybox is gonna be like before then.
More on that next chap prolly.
Comments
Scarletmenace
Unga bunga moment indeed. Loved it :3
