Kevin the Bored
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182 Good Things Come In Threes
🕑 Added 2023-09-20 22:32:49 +0000 UTCBrașov, Romania, January 15th, 13:24.
Sitting in a room full of heroes that aren't actually planning on fighting me is certainly a new experience. A fun one too, I think to myself as I flash another glaring hero a sunny smile, making him turn away with a scowl.
It's amusing, they are all either looking at me with contempt, fear, or a mix of the two. But I suppose that's fair enough considering a lot of them are from countries that are having to deal with the aftermath of my little playtime.
Luckily none of them are Portuguese at least, that would have ended poorly. Not for me, granted, but that's besides the point.
Now, one could wonder why none of these supposed 'heroes' are trying to arrest or kill me considering that I'm not exactly what one would call a model citizen, but the answer is actually rather simple.
You see, is this lovely little triplet of sisters known as the Three Blasphemies. They, collectively, are on the list of beings that are considered for the S-Class designation, but haven't made the cut for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure the reason for these girls not being on the list is because the European heroes have done a pretty good job keeping them from causing much damage.
Not that they managed to stop the three when they killed the President of Austria, Heinz Fischer, last year or when they killed the Prime Minister of Spain, José-too-many-names-Zapatero two years before that.
As a side note, the list is back up to six now that Qivi got added, and I'm wondering if they'll add the Blasphemies to the list if they put on a good enough showing against me.
Which brings me back to why I am here.
The Three of them tend to just roam around Europe causing a little bit of chaos and occasionally doing something political, which has made everyone think that they are working for one of the European countries to advance their agenda by using them as a superweapon.
Personally, I think that thought process is retarded. I feel like it's kind of obvious that they're simply similar to me, kindred spirits if you will, and that they are just out causing chaos, something they have achieved pretty well by making none of these nations trust each other, constantly searching for the one who controls them.
But whatever, what am I? A botanist? I don't need to waste my time thinking about shit like that, I just want to fight them.
So we sent out some private messages to various world leaders in Europe, and by 'we' I naturally mean I got Jinx to do it all. Could have probably got John or String to do it, maybe even Butterfly, but the latter is busy making whatever organisation he's making, String would send the message by blowing something up and I just trust Jinx more than John to get it done how I want it done.
He's known me the longest... Second longest after all.
The message was basically 'Hey, we're not just Clowns! We're also mercenary, so if you have a problem, such as being attacked by three angry Furies, then please consider hiring us!~'
Obviously there was more to it and it was worded differently, but that's the general gist of it. Jinx has been dealing with a lot of business for me recently, from helping be a liaison between Estrella and Uppercrust recently, to shit to do with Last Laugh, so he probably knows how to talk like a business person.
I'm self aware enough to know that my message would have been made of crayon and had like ten words and a bunch of illustrations. They'd probably throw it into the trash instead of taking it seriously.
It's so sad that people can't appreciate art.
Case in point would be George Scripcaru, Mayor of this lovely little city. Apparently one of his capes is of the precognitive sort. Not to a particularly impressive degree, but good enough to give a little bit of forewarning that The Three Musketeers are about to show up.
Which lead to me being hired for the steal of a price of nearly seventeen million dollars equivalent in Romani cash moneys, which is fifty million of whatever it is, I felt like asking would be weird.
After that, it was simply a case of giving my location to an inconvenient teleporter, and now I'm here, chilling with the local heroes as well as some out of town guys, most notably being The Suits.
Or at least, they are the ones I'm most interested in, because they are from the United Kingdom, even if they operate across Europe as well, which by itself isn't interesting, but there is another 'big' hero organisation operating out of the UK, this one being called The King's Men.
Now, the reason I care, is that a long time ago, there was a certain scary woman roaming around killing people, and she killed the then leader of The King's Men, which resulted in them effectively taking a back seat to The Suits.
Now, wouldn't it be poetic if I killed the leader of The Suits?
I can't be sure if it's because they are sharing my thought process or if it's just my general presence, but the Suits present seem rather unnerved, which only makes me smile wider.
It's a nice feeling to know that the room is completely silent simply because of my presence, everyone collectively being too scared of me to start a conversation.
It's also awfully boring.
Luckily for me, or rather, luckily for the heroes around me, another group of capes finally join us in the room, the three of them actually being local and one of them, I suspect, is the Thinker.
They pause once they've taken a couple steps inside, and the guy in the lead sweeps his eyes over the room, dilating slightly as he passes over me, sweat on his brow.
"Ahem, the Blasphemies will likely attack in thirty minutes," he starts in accented English, which would make me feel annoyed again at learning the language if not for the fact I've already spoken with Mr Scripcaru, "we do not know where they will attack from, so evacuation has been put on hold for now, so as to avoid running into them."
Not particularly impressive indeed.
The foreman brings a finger under his collar, clearly nervous before turning to face me, though he doesn't meet my crimson orbs with his own, staring just above my head instead. "It would be best if you move to the centre of the city, to be equidistant from wherever they appear. The rest of you shall spread out to help evacuation efforts once we get a confirmed sighting."
Seems simple enough.
The guy goes to speak again, but I figure that he's just going to talk about evac stuff, and I don't need to stay to hear about any of that, so I get to my feet and stretch my back, causing all eyes to snap to me, and a couple of powers to flare to life.
"My,~ how twitchy you all are.~ I'm just going to get some fresh air.~" My voice, simply teasing and playful suddenly changes, still sounding just as pleasant but with an undeniable edge of threat behind it as I continue, "one last thing though. Don't interfere in my fight, or I'll eat ya!~"
Turning around, I give them a wave over my shoulder as I let out a small laugh at the scent of fear that follows me.
Bunch of pussies.
Still, the idea wasn't a stupid one, so I do head to the centre of the city, taking the rooftops until I find a relatively tall building to perch on top of.
I am embracing the gargoyle life.
A few people notice me from below, but I just give them a wave and they simply snap a picture and leave, or wave back if they aren't rude.
A minute passes, and I'm bored, so I start picking small chunks out of the building I'm sitting on, just the size of a pea, and throwing them down at people.
I think one of them is calling the police on me, but that's hardly going to result in anything right now, and he just got pelted by small rocks for his troubles.
Half an hour is a really long time when you're waiting for something to happen, and this roof is running out of roof. They're definitely going to have a leak at least, that's for sure.
Luckily for their insurance company, I finally notice something in the distance.
With my incredible investigative eye, I pick out the subtle, tell-tale signs of the Charlie’s Angels' approach, connecting dots that even the finest of minds would struggle to do.
A street blew up.
I suppose that's my cue then. I hope they aren't as disappointing as the Portuguese were.
It only takes a routine flex to bring out my wings, an action that is basically muscle memory at this point, and with a single bound I cover a quarter of the distance, two more bounds putting the Sisters Three in my line of sight, with only one more bound leaving me only a short distance away.
The three of them are almost identical, with alabaster white skin and matching hair, with a similarly white flowing dress. The only notable different being the masks they each wear, depicting ruby-lipped faces showing a smile, a frown and a snarl respectively, with the frowning one in the middle, holding the hands of her two sisters.
However, more important than what they look like, something much more pressing catches my eye, or rather, catches my nose in this case.
They aren't parahumans, or even humans for that matter. They smell of machinery.
...Maybe I should have actually read into their files.
But I wanted it to be a surprise!
I suppose this would explain why everyone seems to think they're being controlled at least, but just because they were created artificially, that doesn't mean they aren't sentient.
"Hey there!~ My name's Lusia!~ Nice to meetcha!~" I exclaim with a smile, waving my arm at them.
Their response is decidedly less friendly, as my hairs suddenly stand on end and I dodge to the side just in time to avoid a beam of plasma that goes on to melt a hole in a good number of building behind me.
"Not the talkative types then eh?~" I joke, yet they only prove me right my staying silent and simply attacking again, this time with two beams, one from the smiler and the other the snarler.
Naturally, one more beam doesn't make much of a difference and I dodge it all the same, deciding that some tough love is necessary before we can get to the peaceful dialog.
With that in mind, my wings flap and my body is launched after them at blistering speeds, and I rotate horizontally to build up some momentum and kick the snarling one right in the side...
Only for my leg to snap in half, and before I can even begin falling, the chest of the frowner glows for a moment before unleashing a powerful and invisible blast right at me, sending my body ragdolling to the ground, where I stay for a moment, processing.
That felt familiar somehow, I just need to figure out where I recognise it from.
Guess I'll go with the scientific method then and just collect more data.
Plan in mind, I jump to my feet, seeing that the Three Blind Mice have apparently deemed me unimportant and moved on, which is just rude.
So naturally, I take the only appropriate action and grab the nearest car by it's chassis, because otherwise I'd just end up ripping a chunk out of it, and throw it at them as hard as I can, following after.
Predictably, the car is swatted aside with ease, but it buys enough time for me to reach them again, and this time I go for a punch with my bare fist, having only taken my wing out so far.
And just like the kick, my arm is what gives, breaking as soon as it makes contact and fixing itself right after, however this time they punish me by shooting a beam of plasma right through my gut, and then launching me away again.
But that's fine, because I realised why the feeling was familiar now.
It's energy redirection, at least for kinetic anyway. They're sending the force of my punch back at me, which is not very nice.
Guess I'll have to do some limit testing then.
Honestly, this feels less like a fight right now and more like a high octane puzzle, which is new.
I like new things, they're fun.
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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
It's legit annoying to me that I didn't really use her learning romanian in this chap, but I realised that with foreign capes present, the guy giving the rundown would have been speaking english, not romanian :(
Also, I am totally going to keep naming trios until I can't anymore instead of actually referring to the blasphemies as the blasphemies.
Also, I do a lot of research for most of the shit I write, and it's kinda sad that I think only once has anybody actually called me out on my statistics and numbers, because I know that the stats I give are realistic and accurate, and I really wanna shove it in some doubter's faces, but you all just seem to take what I say at face value instead :(
Can't you have a little doubt in me?
What's the point in knowing things if you can't shove that knowledge in the face of anyone who doubts you, sources in hand?
Also, literally just realised that Lusia's third stop is with the Three Blasphemies. Isn't that cool?
Comments
THE SAVAGE KITTY
Sips tea in agressive passiveness to annoy author
Scarletmenace
More yummy fights. :3 Thanks for the chapter!
