Kevin the Bored
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1 A Murder Adventurer's Adventure
🕑 Added 2023-11-29 20:05:41 +0000 UTCSitting in the, frankly unreasonably, comfortable chair with my feet resting on the unnecessarily fancy desk, I play around with an exquisite knife, rotating it through my fingers as I wait for it's owner to return. This knife is just one of the many weapons littering the room, each as impressively crafted as the last.
I'd have taken one of the spears down to play with, but unfortunately my body is only fifteen years old now, so I'm too small to spin one around while sitting down without breaking something.
How depressing~.
Honestly, it makes me glad that my old friends aren't here, they'd never let me live it down.
I have no idea why I can't die, or rather, why I never lose my memories when I reincarnate, but I'm not going to complain about it. It certainly allows for plenty of fun.
And speaking of fun, I can hear a pair of footsteps approaching, one of whom is radiating an unmistakable aura that tells me they are exactly who I am looking for.
...I hope they're the words before violence kind of people, because if even one of them is a high level adventurer, then I'm kind of fucked if they decide to attack first and ask questions later.
A level 4 would definitely be able to overwhelm me, no matter my skill. A level 3 could probably kick my ass too, but I refuse to believe I'd lose to a level two, that would just be beyond embarrassing~.
The door swing open and I put on my best smile, opening my arms in a wide 'V' shape.
"Welcome home, Dear! Would you like dinner? A Bath? Or, perhaps, me?"
Despite my jovial greeting, the woman I was waiting for, a fair skinned beauty with short red hair and an eyepatch over her right eye, only responds with a cautious countenance and a suspicious glare.
The other one is also a beautiful woman, but with tanned skin, absolutely massive honkers barely even hidden behind just some bandages, sarashi, I'm pretty sure is the term. The only other thing she's wearing is a pair of hakama pants and nothing else, though she also has an eyepatch, only on her other eye.
However, unlike the red-haired beauty, she doesn't just glare at me, but actually draws the naginata on her hip and points it at me! So rude! So scary~!
And I know who she is too, Tsubaki Collbrande, a level 4 adventurer. In other words, I've got to push my charisma as hard as I can, because I won't win a fight, and this room doesn't really have any easy exits to run away with.
"Who are you and how did you get here!" Tsubaki Big-Tits demands, but I don't like having her sword pointed at me, so I 'flinch' hard enough to drop the dagger I was holding and immediately duck under the desk.
"Scary~!" I yell out, putting my hands over my head and peaking out over the table at them both, the most pitiable expression on my face that I can muster. "Please don't hurt me, Miss Big Boobs~!"
Oddly, she doesn't react to the nickname like I'd have expected, but my actions did their job of easing the tension in the room, making her hesitant to attack, and causing the other woman's lip to twitch slightly in amusement.
Wonderful. Use morals to appeal to the big boobed Amazon, and amusing behaviour to appeal to the sexy red-head.
With a basis for peace being established, now I just need to answer their inevitable questions, asked more calmly, and we both win.
"I'd rather no one start a fight in my office," says the sexy red-head- argh! I just got Kushina flashbacks! I hope she isn't as hot-headed as that annoying woman, "but you will tell us who you are, how you got in here, and why. Now."
Such an authorities tone~.
"So demanding~, what ever happened to pleasantries? I'm feeling just fine, I've had a pretty good day, thank you for asking, how has your day been?"
My words only cause her to glare harder, and I give the appropriate 'eep!' and jump in my spot, covering my pink hair with my hands again.
"Hai hai! My name is Hanabira!" I answer, deciding to go with my name from when I was born in Konoha since this is a world that allows anime-like hair colours, so I've got my dashing good looks back now. Much better than normal worlds where my lovely pink hair fades to a pinkish-blond.
"I got here by walking! There really wasn't a lot of security, so breaking in wasn't hard, kinda shameful honestly," Red-Head's eye twitches, and I take a deep breath.
This is it, the moment I've been building up to, and that I have spent the last fifteen years reluctantly preparing myself for.
Getting to my feet, I vault over her desk, ignoring the way Big Boobed Sword Lady tenses at my approach, and I come to a stop before the red-head. I stare into her eye for a moment and she stares into mine, seemingly surprised by my sudden seriousness.
They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and I know for a fact that the saying has a measurer of truth to it. And what I see in her, is exactly what I was hoping for.
And so, with a slight smile on my face, I fall down to one knee, resting one fist on the floor and the other on my chest as I bow my head down to her.
"Goddess Hephaestus. I, Hanabira Haruno-Senju, humbly request to receive your blessing, and become a member of your Familia."
The room falls into silence, but I do not look up, nor do I really find the silence worrisome like a normal person probably would. There are plenty of other options in the end, she is just my preferred one.
Eventually, the silence is broken by Hephaestus' sceptical voice. "You... you broke into my office, so that you could request to join my Familia? Doesn't that seem contrary to you?"
"Not at all, Hephaestus-sama. I have no Falna, yet managed to sneak into the Tower of Babel and further still, into your office with none the wiser. My intention was merely to prove that I am a capable person, and that you would regret not snatching me up now."
"Oh really? My Familia is a crafting Familia, being sneaky is hardly a point of entry, why would I regret not having you join me?"
Hearing her words, I finally look up at her and give her a true, genuine smile, filled with about the only feeling I am capable of experiencing, as I answer with the confidence of someone who knows indisputably that what they speak is fact.
"Because I will be the strongest."
I know that Gods have some ability to discern when us mortals lie to them, so I know that she knows that I at least truly do believe what I say, and I can tell that it does wonders in the ways of convincing her, but it's still not quite enough.
Luckily, I already know why, as well as the fact that it's not a problem.
"Even then, my Familia is for crafters. If you want to join, you have to present me with something of your own creation; I will only accept you if it impresses me."
"I know. I may not be a smith like yourself, but I have no doubt you'll be interested in my talents."
"And what talents would those be, if not smithing? Enchanting?"
"Close. I call it Fuinjutsu, or Sealing Techniques." I can see the interest in the eyes of the Goddess of the Forge, and I proceed with my speech, feeling like a car salesman, except that I'm the car...that's a weird analogy. "I can turn a slip of paper into a fireball with an explosion seal. Or I can make a magic seal to deny someone the ability to access their mana."
I can already tell that she's sold, the moment I prove my claims at least. But for what I want, I don't want her to just accept me, I want her to treasure me. At least to some degree. I want to have the leeway to act as I please for the most part, hence why I wanted to join a smith, instead of an actual Adventurer Familia.
Luckily, I have my trump card.
"Best of all, I believe I could create what could become your Familia's greatest product."
"That's a bold claim to make," she says, and it is. I am talking to a literal Goddess after all. just the arms hung up around us are proof enough that she's unmatched. But I'm not forging weapons now, am I?
"I can make a storage seal," her eyes widen as she quickly catches on to what that means, and I elaborate on the details before she can ask, "all I need is ink and some good paper, and I can make a seal that can store anything, even preserve them if you want. With my seals, expeditions would no longer need to bring a carriage full of shit down with them, they'd be able to carry everything with just a scroll or two full of my seals."
I don't need to mention how lucrative storage seals could be. Especially since it's only the big Familias going on deep expeditions that would need so many supplies, meaning they can market up.
I do realise that storage seals could put a lot of supporters out of business if I make too many, but why would I give a fuck about that? Sucks to suck.
"Do you have proof?"
With a smile, I pull out a simple storage seal. I don't have any chakra in this world, and the amount of mana a normal human like me is capable of producing is limited without Falna, even with my soul being as powerful as it is. So I can't make anything big or useful yet.
Not until I get Falna. Luckily, all I need is a proof of concept, and then that Falna will finally be in my hands, and I can finally make some real progress after years of being a weak little human. At least, by my standards anyway.
With a puff of smoke, a rose appears on my palm above the seal, and I quickly wrap the sealing paper around it's stem and offer it out to the Goddess, a smile on my face.
She takes the offering, and inspects the sealing paper for a moment, not that she'll find anything of interest, since the paper is too weak and the seal will be washing away now that it's been used. Then, after staring at the rose for a moment, she gains a look of determination, and turns back to me.
"Take of your shirt."
"...What?"
///
Turns out, one has to get shirtless to receive Falna, as it apparently needs to be applied to the recipient's back. I don't really mind, I've never had much of a problem showing off my body, and neither of the other two seemed to be the shy type.
Still, while it felt a little strange, Falna wasn't too different to the various energies I've felt before, just purer, really. which is to be expected given, y'know, Goddess.
But as I sit up from my spot lying on my belly, I see the Goddess, or rather, my goddess now, staring at a sheet of paper that supposedly contains my 'Status' on it in apparent shock. And I can't deny that I want to take a peek, I've never actually had my abilities listed out in an actual Status before, it's like a video game.
"G-Goddess?" Tsubaki says, noticing her- our Goddesses frozen face, snapping her out of her trance.
Immediately, she whirls around to face me, nearly pushing me back down with her intensity as she shoves the paper into my bare chest.
"Explain!" She yells, making my eye twitch at the resemblance to Kushina. I really hope her yelling doesn't become a frequent thing around me, I dislikes needless commotion, "Why do you have so many skills!"
I'm honestly not surprised by her surprise, even if I had expected a literal Goddess to have more composure. From what I know, most Adventurers start with blank sheets, and even First-Class Adventurers rarely have many actual skills, usually less than a dozen, counting Development Skills.
Shrugging my shoulders, I take the sheet and inspect my Status.
|||
Hanabira Haruno-Senju
[Level 1]
STR: I-10
END: I-10
DEX: I-10
AGI: I-10
MAG: I-10
Development Abilities:
-Ninja (S)
-Fuinjutsu Master (B)
-Fortified Mind (D)
-Abnormal Resistance (E)
-Insight (E)
-Spirit Healing (F)
-Magic Resistance (H)
Magic:
-Chakra
Skills:
-Sage: An Enlightened being. All stats are doubled when activating Sage Mode
-Stubborn Soul: A Soul that never washes away. Magic cast is strengthened when recognised by the Soul.
-Chosen Path: A single Path forward has been chosen. All Ninja related abilities are massively strengthened. All non-Ninja related abilities are massively weakened.
|||
"Oya, why are my stats so low?" I can't help but ask, inwardly glad I don't have any skills like Murderer or something incriminating.
"That's your question!?" Hephaestus cries out, Tsubaki looking on in confusion. With a shrug I hand the sheet out to Tsubaki so she can be in the know as well. It doesn't really reveal anything that I wouldn't brag about anyway, so I don't mind.
"Well yeah, I mean, I kinda figured most of this stuff, so it's not really surprising. But my stats shouldn't be so lame~. It's embarrassing for a Sage to have such shitty stats, y'know?"
My Goddess gapes like a fish for a moment, all the while Tsubaki seems to have frozen, before she shakes her head and reluctantly answers my question, clearly wanting me to get to the explaining part quickly.
"Everyone starts with ten in every stat, that's just how it works. Same as when you level up, all your stats return to ten and your old stats become like, hidden modifiers."
Huh, interesting. Kind of annoying though, because now that I know that, there is no way in hell I am not maxing out every stat before letting myself level up. Gotta be optimal when there are so few levels. The highest Adventurers are only like, level 7 or something.
"A'ight, that's fair enough then. So, whaddaya wanna know? My three sizes are-"
"I don't care about your sizes!" My Goddess yells out, only to huff when she sees me smirking at her. "Just... Let's ignore the skills for now. I've never seen the Ninja development ability, but I can guess that it's in the same vein as Swordsman or Blacksmith. My question is, how the hell is it rank S!"
"Because I'm an amazing Ninja, obviously," I answer with a careless shrug.
The best part is that she can't really deny that, because it's true. Development Abilities grow with use and skill, the only way I could advance my Ninja rank is simply by being a good Ninja.
But even if she can't deny it, that doesn't mean she has to accept it. "I don't think you understand what an S rank means, do you?"
"That I'm awesome?"
"No. Well, kinda, I guess. But no, that's not why it's important. To my knowledge, there hasn't been a single Adventurer with an S ranked Development Ability, ever. So don't dodge the question. How is it so high levelled?"
Seeing the seriousness of her gaze, I just give her a smile and answer with a voice so serene that it could only have come from a Sage. "You already saw, didn't you? I have chosen my Path."
She holds my stare for a solid minute, before eventually letting out a sigh and seeming to unwind, tension leaving her body.
She's much calmer then, as we spend the rest of the day going introducing ourselves to each other, with me doing the most introducing, while also explaining how I want to function in her Familia.
All said, I'd say it has been a successful endeavour.
Now all I need to do is go murder some monsters to get started on the old endless grind.
Lucky for me, I happen to be something of an old hand at Murder.
///
A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Got this plot bunny and decided to write it out. I seriously doubt I'll touch this again, at least not until I finish Tear it Down and the Bleach one with Hana in.
Comments
Lucy Edwards
lmao
Duy
ayo this is actually interesting
Scarletmenace
Yummy murder magician
