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The Simulacrum - Chapter 94 - Part 1
🕑 Added 2022-07-07 15:51:14 +0000 UTC"Welcome, future young master, and I wish you a Merry Christmas."
"Good evening, Melinda," I responded to the curtsying maid a tad late, slightly baffled by the plushy reindeer headband she was wearing.
Before I could ask what that was about, I noticed the sound of hurried footsteps coming my way, and just as I turned to face it, my girl-catching-reflexes activated on their own, right as Elly lunged at me with her arms open.
"Leo!"
"Whoa! Easy there, princess. You've almost knocked me off my feet."
My draconic girlfriend, currently dressed in a light green dress with red hems that certainly fit the holiday décor of the foyer, let out a silly giggle and squeezed me even harder.
"I can't help it! I missed you!"
"It's been only a day," I objected a little half-heartedly and carefully peeled her off my torso.
"One and a half days," she corrected me with a smirk, and I decided to leave it at that.
"How are things in the lounge?"
She considered her answer seriously, then said, "Unexpectedly cozy," before she once again attached herself to me, and we started walking arm-in-arm. Melinda also wordlessly fell in line behind us, and it was only then that I realized that I lost my chance to ask about the reindeer headband.
"At first I was a little nervous," Elly continued to speak even as we walked, drawing my attention back to her. "You don't have parents, so meeting Judy's mom and dad was the closest thing I had to introducing myself to my in-laws. It was a little nerve-wracking, but they turned out to be really nice and friendly."
"Really? I figured Clarke would have some reservations…"
"He's actually getting along really well with dad! They were talking about all kinds of manly things… I think. I was mostly talking with Judy and her mom."
"Speaking of her, how is she?"
"Judy? She seemed fine. I was a little scared back then, but I think she fully recovered." She paled, as if remembering an old trauma, then after shaking her head she hastily added, "Next time it's the three of us doing it together, we really have to be more careful. We also need to find a sturdier chair."
"Sure, but let's leave it at that," I told her in a low voice. "We have an audience."
Elly let out a flat "Oh." and covered her mouth with her free hand.
Needless to say, we had another weird noodle incident after our big Christmas date, and let's leave it at that. Judy was getting a bit too much into this whole lewding thing, so it hopefully served as a learning experience for her. If not, I was afraid one of these days we had to hold an intervention.
But speaking of the holidays, it was the twenty-sixth today, and after spending the entirety of Christmas Eve in the company of the girls, we've got an invitation for a big family dinner from the Dracis couple. Furthermore, it not only involved us, but also Judy's parents and my sisters as well.
Because of this, I'd worked my fingers to the bone on Christmas Day to get everything prepared for the big kerfuffle steadily approaching the horizon. As a matter of fact, the reason why I was late for this party was precisely due to being busy hammering out some kinks in the Not At All Nefarious Secret Plan™ and preparing contingency measures. Sure, I could've finished them after today's dinner, but I figured it was best to get it done early so that I could enjoy the atmosphere without anything gnawing at the back of my mind.
If we're at that, the Dracis mansion certainly had the holiday atmosphere down pat. It wasn't as overblown as Judy's home, but it easily made the lack of sheer quantity up using quality, with huge garlands and hanging decors one would normally only find in shopping malls and community centers, and every single window had elaborate Christmas wreaths with twinkling electric candles on them.
"I bet Judy's mom really liked the décor," I noted a touch absently, and Elly immediately perked up.
"Yes, she did! She's been sharing tips with mom and Neige since they arrived."
"Just as expected… but now that you mention it, were my sisters behaving themselves?"
The princess spent an unexpectedly long time considering her answer, ultimately settling on a diplomatic, "There was some initial friction with Sebastian, but I don't think it was serious."
"With the old man? Well, that doesn't bode well…"
"Hey! Don't be like that!" she suddenly scolded me with a pout. "It's the most wonderful time of the year, so no foreboding is allowed."
"Yes, yes, I know…"
"Come on, Leo! Where's your Christmas cheer?"
"I think I left it in the bottom drawer back home. Do you want me to get it?" Instead of answering, my girlfriend only pinched my side, forcing me to surrender right away. "Ow! I'm kidding! I'm stocked full with all kinds of cheer, I swear! I'm just saving it for the dinner!"
She definitely had a retort on the tip of her tongue, but it was just around this time that we reached the door leading into the lounge, so we were interrupted by Melinda forcefully getting ahead of us so that she could open it. On the other side, I found the familiar room about as lavishly decorated as expected, with a large potted Christmas tree in the middle. Combined with the gently smoldering stone hearth in the back and the soft glow of all the twinkle lights, it created an image just out of a postcard.
"Oh, look! Big cubbie is here!" Judy's mother noticed me first, and she gave me a wave. She was still calling me that, while dubbing my sister the ‘little cubbies'. Anyhow, she had a nice yellow dress on her, and I had to admit it was weird to see her without any mittens or miscellaneous cooking utensils in her hands.
Following her comment, the rest of the group seated around the fireplace all turned their heads as well, and Judy practically jumped to her feet and power-walked over to me before attaching herself to my other arm.
"What took you so long?" I raised a puzzled brow at her accusative tone, and she soon explained, "I've had to spend a whole hour listening to mom and Emese discussing holiday decorations and food." My other girlfriend let out an amused chuckle, and my dear assistant's eyes snapped at her at once. "Don't you dare laugh about it. You abandoned me ten minutes in."
"I didn't. I had important things to take care of," Elly responded without looking her in the eye.
"Then why didn't you take me with you?"
The princess either couldn't answer or, more likely, didn't want to, as she dragged her feet until we arrived at the sitting area, where the conversation naturally moved on in another direction.
"Arriving last to a family dinner is bad form, my boy," Sebastian remarked with an insincere smile, so I gave him one of my own in return.
"I know, but I was pretty busy. Last-minute preparations for the big even tomorrow and all."
The incognito dragon let out a soft "Hmph," under his breath, and I took the momentary lull as an opportunity to make a headcount.
The sitting area had three chesterfield sofas arranged around the glass-topped coffee table in the middle. On the middle one sat Emese, wearing a tasteful lilac gown, with Sebastian standing behind her and playing his role as the Dracis steward as usual. The sofa on her left was occupied by Judy's mom, and it was only when I came closer that I noticed that Ichiko, in her fox form, was taking a nap on her lap. The last sofa, by process of elimination, had my sisters sitting on it, wearing matching black and white dresses, and while Snowy was the same as usual, Penny appeared a little uncomfortable, no doubt thanks to being in the proverbial dragon's den. I imagined she would take some time to completely get over her prejudices and apprehensions.
"Where's Clarke and dad-in-law?"
"They went upstairs," Emese responded with an amused smirk. "Hubby wanted to show him the trophy room. Boys will be boys, right, Gwyneth?"
"They sure are," Judy's mom replied between giggles.
"So, where do we sit?" I asked, a touch perplexed. While the chesterfield sofas were big, they were designed for three people, and since all of them were already occupied, we couldn't sit down without things getting cramped. Now, logically speaking, we could always just take a seat next to our family members, individually, but something told me the girls would've preferred sitting together.
"Just a moment."
As if reading my mind, Sebastian clapped his hand twice, and the small servant entrance in the back opened up to let the familiar, yet still nameless twin maids in. He gave them a few instructions, and as they left the room again, he turned back to me.
"Seating should be arranged shortly. In the meantime, can we discuss an alarming piece of news that came to my attention recently?"
"Sebastian? Is this really the time and place for this?" Emese commented with narrowed eyes. "It's Christmas. Didn't you argue with Penelope enough? How about we leave this business for another day?"
"I'm afraid we can't exactly do that, considering the grand auction is going to be held tomorrow," the old man rebuked her and faced me again, only to pause when the twin maids returned, carrying another, identical sofa like it was nothing. We waited for them to place it down, and only after I sat down with the girls did he continue with, "As I was saying, we just received the catalog for the auction this morning, and I couldn't help but notice my spear on it."
"It's not your spear! It belongs to us!" Penny interjected, earning her a sharp glare from Sebastian.
"As I had already explained, you've forfeited the right of ownership when you lost it in combat. Now it belongs in my collection," he corrected her, only to then pivot and stare at me, "Or it should be, yet it is somehow up for auction by an 'anonymous seller'. Care to explain what's going on, my boy?"
"What does brother have to do with it?" Penny butted it again, and while she shrank back a little when Sebastian focused on her again, she quickly recollected herself and pressed on. "I-It was taken by Bel of the Abyss, wasn't it? Why are you asking brother?"
Once again, I had to marvel at my sister's ability to obliviously make my life harder than strictly necessary. I considered dismissing the topic, but neither Penny nor Sebastian seemed like they would drop the topic just because I asked nicely. Thankfully, I have half-anticipated that a situation like this would arise, so I had an answer up my sleeve.
"He's asking because I was the one who put it up for auction," I said as casually as I could, and it not only surprised the two, but even Elly. I had no idea why, as I gave her a quick primer on my plan over the phone the last time we talked. Anyhow, I didn't want to keep anyone in suspense, so I explained, "It's a fake."
"Fake?"/"Is that so?" the dragon and my knightly sister spoke at the same time, and I nodded along.
"I put it up as bait."
"Oh! I get it now!" Penny instantly perked up and pointed a finger at me. "You made a fake Ascalon, so when that Bel bastard sees it, he will think he's the one with the fake one, and then because Abyssals are arrogant and foolish, he would show up at the auction to check it out, but then you spring a trap and catch him!"
She was a fair bit more excited than strictly necessary, yet before I could react in any way, all of it evaporated and she hastily turned to the girl sitting by her side.
"Awawa! W-Wait, I didn't mean all Abyssals, only the bad ones! Like that Bel guy! He's the worst!"
"Hm?" Snowy was apparently more engrossed in the two mothers' discussion, who decided to retreat into their own little world once it became obvious Sebastian wouldn't listen, and it took her a second to realize Penny was talking to her. She slightly cocked her head to the side, visibly puzzled. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What were you talking about?"
"It's that brother is planning to entrap Bel, but then I said—"
"Kiddo, stop," I cut in with an exasperated frown. "As amusing as it is to watch you flounder around with your foot in your mouth, there's no need to dig your own hole just to jump into it. Just let it go."
"... Fine," my redhead sister grumbled under her breath, and since Snowy was getting ever more confused by the second, I sent her a glance saying, ‘It's nothing important, don't mind us', and just like that, she returned her attention to Emese's gingerbread decoration tips.
Meanwhile, Sebastian digested my explanation and drew my attention by raising a critical brow at me.
"So, you're telling me the weapon on auction is but a replica."
"Yes. A well-made one, if I say so myself, including all the superficial and useless enchantments. Nobody should be able to tell it's not the genuine article unless they brought it to an expert artificer. Or tried to stab a dragon and it did nothing, but it's not a likely scenario."
We locked eyes for a couple of seconds, then he let the tension drain from his shoulders and concluded the topic with a quiet, "After the dinner, I wish to talk with you in private."
"Sure. I have a few things to say as well."
"Are you done?" Judy asked on the side, and slowly shook her head. "Chief, you really need to work on separating your work and your private life."
"No, I don't. It was just a small misunderstanding we resolved. Every Christmas family dinner is required to have at least one such point of friction by law."
"Don't be silly, Chief. Who could uphold such a law?"
"The Christmas Police?" I jested, and Elly let out a chuckle.
"I just imagined a policeman in a green elf costume," she explained herself, and I decided to nod along like what she said made perfect sense.
"Those are the undercover Christmas Cops. The regular ones wear blue."
"Do they take you to Christmas Jail if you break the Christmas Law?" the princess picked up the pace, and this time it was Judy who responded first.
"Don't be silly. There's no such thing as Christmas Jail. At worst, they take you into Christmas Detention if you fail a breath test."
"Really? Did you hear that, Leo? You must absolutely make sure you don't get caught! You don't have nearly enough Christmas cheer in your bloodstream."
"You're right. We have to elevate the Chief's holiday spirits, or Christmas is ruined. It could be potentially worse than the War on Christmas!"
"Hey, don't gang up on me like that! I'm full of all kinds of cheer and merriment and whatnot, I'm just not showing it right now."
"Why?"
Elly leveled the question at me, and lacking a better answer, I muttered, "I'm shy."
That comment earned me a couple of skeptical looks, though as far as the parents were concerned, it seemed like nothing could break the wholesome smiles they were giving to our little skit. But speaking of parents…
"We're back!" Papa Dracis announced from the top of his lungs, as usual, drawing everyone's attention to the pair of fathers entering the lounge. He was in his usual ensemble, while the mustachioed man behind him wore a sharp, black business suit.
"Welcome back, sugar bear. How was the tour?"
"The trophy room was... impressive," Clarke responded to his wife's question a tad uncertainly, but Abram didn't seem to mind, as he quickly made his way over to Emese's side.
"Guess what, honey? Clarke promised that he'd show me his fishing know-how!"
Elly perked up at once.
"Really? Are we going on a fishing trip?"
"Not right now, I reckon," I said to dampen her expectations. "It's December, remember?"
"We can always just take a flight to a nice fishing spot around the Tropic of Capricorn," came a sudden proposition from Sebastian, and I could swear I saw a hint of mischief in the corner of his eye. "I believe the weather should be quite balmy in Australia during this time of the year."
"How about we think locally first before we head overseas?" I interjected to keep the discussion a bit more grounded, but to little avail.
"Leo's right, dear," Emese agreed with me, only to turn around and say, "We should borrow a yacht and go to the open sea."
"A marvelous idea, honey! We couldn't really do that before, being a sitting duck out in the open waters and all, but with the Knight problem taken care of, we should definitely try it!"
"What was that about sitting ducks?" Clarke cut in with a troubled frown on his thick brows, and Judy came forth to supply the answer.
"Elly's family had a long feud with an organization of magical knights, and they used to try to assassinate them, but Leo mostly resolved the conflict not too long ago."
"Assassins," Judy's dad echoed me, closely followed by a 'Are you sure they aren't gangsters?' kind of look, so I told him, "Don't worry, it's just supernatural politics and such. It's fine now. All the Knights are accounted for, and there won't be any more attacks like that."
"What about Morgana and Agravain?" Penny butted in innocently, so I directed a flat stare at her.
"Everyone is accounted for," I emphasized, and even though my knightly sister still didn't get it, Snowy thankfully came to the rescue and whispered something into her ear, after which she had the proverbial bulb light up over her head and proceeded to conspicuously pretend she didn't say anything at all.
"I think what the Chief was trying to say," Judy interjected, picking up my slack while I was focused on Clarke, "is that there's no reason to have a fishing trip right now and that we could all do it in the spring, once the weather is better."
"I'm personally more familiar with the local waters, so I would prefer to stay on the island," her dad backed her up, and so the Dracis couple quickly gave up on their plans to buy a cruise liner just for fishing. I was also pretty sure they were just joking, as while they were certainly wealthy, they weren't that cartoonishly rich.
"Since everyone's here, I believe we should head to the dining hall," Sebastian proposed, and I took the opportunity he presented on a silver platter to move things along by rising to my feet at once.
"Come on girls, let's go. Things are guaranteed to get busy again starting from tomorrow, so let's enjoy ourselves today. You know? Merry Christmas, God bless us, everyone, and all that good stuff."
Despite my best efforts, the princess was still giving me a disapproving look.
"It's better, but still doesn't have enough Christmas cheer."
"Be careful, Chief," my other girlfriend poked me. "If you are not careful, you are going to be put on a blacklist by the Christmas Intelligence Agency for suspected anti-holiday behavior."
Glancing down at the girls, I took a deep breath and responded in the only way befitting the situation.
"Christmas Intelligence Agency? Bah, humbug!"
Comments
Enrico Snipes
Don't jinx it Leo
