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The Simulacrum - Chapter 91 - Part 1
🕑 Added 2022-05-19 14:56:27 +0000 UTC"Great job, everyone," Ammy announced, standing in front of our classmates in the mostly empty gym. She had already changed back to her uniform, and she looked tired yet satisfied. "The concert was a resounding success thanks to all of your hard work."
Her words were followed by a round of cheers that echoed in the empty hall despite the stage still taking up nearly a third of it. She waited for things to quiet down before she continued.
"The show took a little longer than expected, so everyone should go and enjoy the festival while it lasts."
She was underselling it a little, as in truth, it lasted roughly twice as long as originally planned. The performance was supposed to take about forty minutes, but then the girl's duet added a solid ten minutes to that, and then we had to do an encore due to popular demand, so all things considered, we ended up just under one and a half hours. It was no wonder the class rep was exhausted.
"What about the stage?" Josh inquired with a hand raised over his head, and it was my turn to speak up.
"Leave it alone, will you? We'll have plenty of time to dismantle it tomorrow; the ball's in the evening."
"The third years organizing the ball said they would help as well," Ammy added. "The fireworks start at five, so everyone should go and participate in the other classes' attractions while we have the time."
"You have some plans too, right?" I asked and poked my friend in the side with my elbow, but he only reacted with an unusually bashful grunt.
"Don't act like you aren't itching to play with your girlfriends too," one of the placeholder guys said to me with a knowing smirk, eliciting a series of giggles from the girls behind him.
"Lucky sonuvabich," another guy grumbled, his back hunched over and his hands in his pockets in a stereotypical delinquent pose. "Why does he get to have two girlfriends?"
"Stop complaining and get moving. We have to check out the fortune teller stall before they close it," a tall-ish girl reprimanded him, and the two of them soon headed outside.
They opened the flood gates, and the rest of our classmates also began to exit the gym in twos and threes, taking Ammy's words to heart. Normally I would've simply considered that standard placeholder behavior of the 'stage direction: exit scene' variety, but working with them on this project made me realize they had gone through a lot of sneaky development while my attention was elsewhere. In fact, it got to the point where I could identify them at a glance, names and all.
For example, the first guy heckling me was Steven Johnson, while the second one was John Stevenson. Putting the frankly uninspired names aside, they turned into fairly distinct entities, which had once again reinforced our theory about exposure to 'main characters' leading to placeholders getting steadily more complex over time.
Anyhow, while I was musing about that topic, the remaining three stars of today's show also returned from the tent behind the stage.
"Oh maaan. I'm so pooped!" a certain, currently slightly-less-energetic-than-usual Celestial complained as she made her way over to us. She followed the class rep's example and changed back to her uniform, and was walking a little funny. "Ow. I can't even remember the last time I had sore muscles like this…"
"Is it worse than the time you attended that tennis camp over the summer break?" came the question from Josh, and after considering it, she shrugged.
"Back then my legs only hurt the day after, not right away, so ask me tomorrow." She paused to massage her left calf, then added, "I have a brand new appreciation for background dancers."
"I told you it would turn out like this if you kept jumping around," the guy said with a smile and then nodded towards the back entrance. "I've heard class A is doing a restaurant that's only selling Christmas-themed sweets. Why don't we take a look at their menu while you rest? My treat."
Oh? That was unexpectedly smooth coming from Josh. I was curious how she would react, but my attention was hijacked by my girlfriends attaching themselves to me, prompting me to raise a curious brow in the process.
"Weren't you going to change out of your costumes?"
My question was entirely reasonable, yet they looked at me like I was the weird one.
"Why would we?" Elly asked back with an impish little smirk. "When do you think we'll ever get the chance to go on a date dressed like this?"
"For the record, I was against the idea, but it would've been weird if only I changed back," my dear assistant commented on the other side, yet it only made the princess giggle like it was none of her problem.
"More importantly, did you like our surprise?"
"Of course I did. You two were incredible. You looked amazing, you sounded amazing, you moved amazing… In conclusion, I'd say your performance was easily the best thing humanity ever produced since the invention of sliced bread."
Hearing my honest answer made the two share a strange glance between each other.
"Chief, are you being sarcastic right now?"
"No, of course not, Dormouse. I am one hundred and one percent sincere."
"… That still sounds sarcastic to me," Judy whispered to my other girlfriend.
"I don't know… He sounds genuine, but it's a bit too much."
"Maybe we're just not used to getting praised like that?" my dearest assistant proposed, and my princess repeatedly nodded with a serious expression.
"… Are you two trying to tell me I should compliment you more in the future?"
"If you take it that way, I certainly won't hold it against you," Judy noted with a coy wink. "You can leave your five-star review on Judybot's Palindrome page."
"Who ever heard of reviewing one's girlfriend?" I asked with just a hint of amusement in my voice, and this time it was Elly who spoke up.
"Reviews are important! Audience engagement is crucial for building a fan-base and creating further business opportunities. Every band in our stable does it."
"You heard her, Chief. You must positively engage with us so that companies will see that there's interest in Judybot's development, and once they invest in us, we might even finally get that new beta version with a working whistling app."
"I didn't quite follow that, but I agree wholeheartedly," Elly said in the company of a slightly confused nod.
"How about we do that later and focus on the school festival for now?" I proposed, and after a beat of thinkinh, Judy tugged on my arm.
"The Chief is right. We should leave the skit for later and get going. Even Ammy had left for her date, and we can't let her show us up."
I had no idea how she was going to do that when I had two idols strapped to my arms, but since everyone else had already left to join the festival, I wasn't going to bog us down even further by pointing that out.
"How about we check out Snowy's classroom?" I proposed on a whim. "Penny should be there too, and I promised her I would pay them a visit, so we could start there."
"Might as well."/"Sure thing!"
With that, the three of us left the gym arm-in-arm and headed for the main stairs. I waited until we were out of the gym, and once I made sure we were only surrounded by unfamiliar placeholders, I finally addressed the elephant in the room.
"So, while we're on the way, would you care to explain to me how you managed to fly your duet under my radar?"
My girlfriends shared another glance between each other, which was slightly more difficult due to us walking through a crowd while holding onto each other, but at last, Judy stated, "Logistically speaking, it was a little tricky, considering we had to work around your Far Sight."
"That's why I'm asking. You couldn't exactly put together something of that caliber in an afternoon and hope I just wasn't looking at the time…"
"No, we planned this since the day the theme of our class attraction was decided," Elly explained with a satisfied grin.
"We only communicated about the plans through text messages, because you never pay attention to those," Judy added.
"Okay, that makes sense," I admitted a tad begrudgingly, "but how did you get your own costume? And when did you even practice the songs? You were even doing the poses and the peace signs and everything."
"I did it in the bathroom," Judy told me plainly. "We know you never use your powers when someone's in there, so I rehearsed the songs while in the shower."
"As for the dance moves, we practiced those in the girls' washroom during breaks, because you also don't spy on people when they are on the toilet," the princess said with a proud little smirk, meaning it was probably her idea. "That's where we took Judy's measurements for the dress too."
"It was much easier than expected. The girls' restrooms are very spacious."
It took a couple of long seconds for all of this to sink in.
"So you two have exploited all my blind spots in my Far Sight surveillance just to surprise me. I… don't really know how to feel about that. On one hand, the finale wouldn't have been half as impactful if I knew about it ahead of time, but on the other, it makes me feel kind of annoyed that my ability could be circumvented that easily…"
"It wasn't that easy," Elly pointed out in a hurry. "Not to mention, it only worked because we knew both your habits and how your power worked."
"Also, it's not like you would change any of them just because of this," Judy added, and while I wanted to deny her comment, I really couldn't.
I mean, technicallynothing stopped me from peeping on people during their more private moments, but just because I now knew it was a blind spot, it didn't mean I'd suddenly start spying on Crowey while he was on the loo, just in case he was being contacted by a Celestial secret agent while he was taking a dump or something.
In the end, I shook my head and decided to forget about the whole topic. After all, I needed all the gray matter I could spare to etch today into my memory, so it was pointless wasting any mental energy on hypothetical toilet-spies.
Meanwhile, we reached the first floor without much issue, though we have certainly turned a few heads here and there. I couldn't blame them. Placeholders of not, seeing two pretty girls in idol costumes holding onto a single guy was probably peculiar enough to elicit some kind of reaction even from them.
"Ah, brother!"
The moment we came near the 1-A classroom, my eyes met with those of a redhead girl standing by the entrance, and she immediately perked up and waved at me. She was wearing a fairly simple, if decently frilly, French maid costume, complete with the ruffled headdress. Since their class was doing a maid café, this much was expected, but the fact she was even sporting one of those fluffy white feather dusters showed unexpected dedication to the craft.
More importantly, their class attraction was obviously very popular, as they had quite the dense crowd in front of the entrance. That is, until my sister glared at the people in front of us.
"VIPS ARE COMING THROUGH! GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU MISERABLE NINCOMPOOPS!"
...
"Chief? Would it be rude if I said that, for the first time, I'm seeing the family resemblance?"
I sent the girl on my right a sideways glance and uttered a deadpan "Yes."
"Then it's a good thing I didn't say that."
Before I could object, Penny finished dispersing the crowd in front of us by brandishing her feather duster. It was a tad rude, all things considered, but the onlookers seemed to find it amusing, so I figured it was fine.
"Come! We have a table reserved for you!"
My sister beckoned, and led us to the only empty seats in the bustling 'restaurant'. They had rearranged the desks to form tables, hidden under floral print tablecloths, and there were half a dozen girls dressed in maid uniforms with trays in hand weaving between the seated customers.
The room was also divided into two segments with elaborately illustrated folding screens. The bigger one appeared to be the restaurant floor, while the smaller thirds was the 'kitchen', though in practice it was just the area where they stored the pre-made sweets and the espresso machines they borrowed from the cafeteria. Speaking of the folding screens, they appeared to be hand-painted with pastel-colored chibi maids, no doubt Snowy's handiwork, and they even had a large logo painted close to the middle saying 'Château des Sucreries'. Probably the name of their café, I surmised.
"I saw your performance!" Penny gushed to my dear assistant the moment we sat down. "You were amazing! And these clothes look great on you too!"
"What about me?" my other girlfriend inquired, and my knightly maid sister... Knightster Maid? Maidsterknight? Meidoknightster? Whatever she was, she twitched and conspicuously averted her eyes.
"It wasn't bad..." I inadvertently raised a brow at that, and when she noticed, she hurriedly sputtered, "D-D-Don't take me wrong! It's not like I liked her singing voice or anything, and I'm definitely not jealous of her hair, and, and..."
"Say, Kiddo?" I interjected before she could gather too much steam and enter into a full-blown tsundere skit. "Could I ask you to give us the menu please?"
"Right! The menu! I'm on it!" She turned on her heel, only to freeze and turn right back. "I mean, no! You're special guests, so you're getting the chef's special!"
Before I could ask if we had any say in the matter, she stormed off to behind the folding screens, but even so, we could still hear a muffled "Snowy! Come quick! Brother is here!" from the other side.
I put her out of my mind for the time being as I glanced at Elly, and found her chuckling with an affectionate smile that turned into a beaming one when she noticed I was looking at her.
"Isn't it hard to believe she used to be an accursed Knight? She's so cute!"
"Is she?" Judy asked, and the princess doubled down.
"She is! Did you notice how hard she blushed when I put her on the spot? And she makes these funny noises whenever she's startled too!"
I glanced at Judy and sent her a look that roughly translated to ‘Should we tell her?', but she shook her head, so I decided to leave the princess in blissful ignorance for now. In the meantime, Penny returned with my other sister in tow, and the two were carrying a frankly alarming amount of sweets with them.
"Welcome to Château des Sucreries, my lord and ladies," Snowy spoke in a practiced, demure voice, and after placing the trays, she gave us a perfect curtsy. Maybe because she was surrounded by girls in maid uniforms, but my Abyssal sister was apparently completely immersed in her role. Penny, less so.
"As special guests, this one is on the house!" the redhead girl declared with an ear-to-ear smile and a thumb up. "Go ahead, dig in!"
My eyes skimmed over the variety of sweets and cakes on display, and even just looking at them gave me heartburn.
"Do we have to eat all of this?"
Snowy flashed us a bashful smile and shook her head.
"There's no need to be pressured, sir. We shall take care of any and all leftovers, so please eat to your heart's content." After a pause, she quietly added, "I recommend the pancakes."
"Then we know where we should start!" Elly declared and proceeded to divide the pile of them equally between the three of us.
In the meantime, I prodded the conversation along by asking, "Are you two having fun?"
"A ton!" Penny declared right away. "At first I didn't understand what the hullabaloo was about maids, but then Snowy showed off her uniform, and I really got into it too!" She twirled around to show off her outfit, and then added, "I was never really a fan of ruffles and lace, but they grew on me. Hey, brother? Can we add them to—"
"We are not adding lacing to your combat uniform," I stated on no uncertain terms. "You've yet to convince me about the necessity of combat hot pants either, remember?"
"Uuu… One of these days…"
Ignoring the fuming redhead, I turned to my other sister.
"How about you, Snowy?"
"Naturally. It's always my pleasure to serve my lords and ladies with all of my heart."
"She's reeeally into it…" Penny leaned over and whispered to me with one hand shielding her mouth, only to freeze up when she noticed the look the silver-haired girl was giving her. "Awawa! D-Don't take this the wrong way! I'm not saying it's bad! It's good! Getting into your hobbies is great, and you look amazing in a maid uniform!"
"Really?" Snowy whispered as she self-consciously looked herself over, and the other girl immediately tripled down.
"Yes! I wish I looked half as good in one as you do! And… and…"
While my knightlier sister kept floundering, Elly finished dividing the pancakes, even if she had to do it while barely stifling her giggles. Judy had no reservations whatsoever, and had already eaten half of her portion (she was probably peckish after moving so much on the stage), so I took a bite as well, and it was definitely one of the top five pancakes I've ever eaten. Which, considering I could only remember eating them four times so far, meant that it was… okay. Not great, not bad. Tasty, but pretty standard, but considering I was hungry, I was perfectly happy with it.
"What about you two?" I spoke up, interrupting Penny's fervent efforts to explain how Snowy could make her maid outfit even cuter if she wore her hair in twin tails, and my sisters gave me an uncomprehending look. "It's kind of weird to eat sweets while you two are just standing next to our table. Why don't you join us?"
"I'm afraid that's not possible, sir. A maid observing proper etiquette must never eat at the same table as her lord."
"Yeah, that. Also, if we sat down with you, then the other patrons will start asking for the same, and nothing will get done."
"That reminds me," Judy interjected after wiping the corners of her mouth with a napkin. "Is it all right for you to stay with us like this? Won't the others complain that you aren't doing your jobs?"
"Ah. It… doesn't seem like we're needed anywhere else, but… Snowy?"
"A maid must never shirk their duties. Let us return to our tasks."
"Aw, fine." Penny turned back to us and told us, "Just wave when you're done and we'll take care of the plates!"
"Bon appétit," Snowy added, followed by a demure bow, and they were just about to leave when I had a sudden idea.
"Say, girls? Do you want to join us for the fireworks?" The moment I said that, Judy lightly tapped my shin under the table, eliciting a confused, "What?"
"Chief, watching the fireworks together is the romantic finale of the festival."
"So? If you want to flirt, I doubt my sisters are going to mind much, and it's not like we're going to be the only people on the rooftop anyway. It's going to be one of those ‘stereotypical school life memories' either way, so why not share it with the whole family?"
"I don't mind," Elly agreed between two bites. "The more the merrier."
"Penny said she didn't want to watch the fireworks, so—" Snowy began, only for my other sister to cover her mouth.
"No, I do! Let's watch them together!"
"Didn't you just say it would be weird if we watched it?" Snowy asked in a rare display of annoyance once she managed to free her mouth, and Penny averted her gaze once more with a nervous chuckle.
"It's only weird if we watch it alone, not if we all watch it together!"
"But why?"
"Because… uuu… Wait, I think someone's calling me! I have to go!"
Before Snowy could react, Penny jumped back and dashed behind the folding screens. My Abyssal sister blinked in surprise, then after giving us another curtsy, she followed after her in a hurry.
"I wonder what that was about?" Elly mused, and instead of coming up with an answer, I reached out with a napkin and wiped the whipped cream off her nose. I had no idea how she got that there, considering I was pretty sure nothing she ate so far had any of it on them, but that was my girlfriend for you.
While I was busy with that, Judy had a contemplative look on her face, and ultimately uttered, "UST?"
"Doubt it," I responded off-handedly between bites. "Not every awkward interaction has to be the result of UST."
"But it's not impossible," Judy insisted, so I firmly shook my head.
"Don't be the dormouse who cried wolf one too many times. More importantly, what's the plan for the rest of the afternoon?"
"I want to check out Sahi's class!" the princess proposed in an unnecessarily serious voice. "I've heard they have a fortune teller booth that gives all kinds of silly advice!"
"That sounds decently interesting," Judy commented absent-mindedly, while already thinking one step ahead. "After that, if we're going to watch the fireworks from the rooftop, should we change first? It's going to be cold outside, and these skirts are very short."
"No need! We'll just have to make sure Leo keeps us warm!"
"I don't think my cuddling can offset minus six degrees Celsius."
My draconic girlfriend considered my words, then declared, "In that case, we must go and try out all the class attractions before then and show off our costumes everywhere!"
"So long as we stay indoors, I have no objections."
I wasn't wearing a skirt, so I had no horse in this race. On the other hand, took a look at my plate, then the mountain of sweets in front of us, and stifled a foreboding sigh. Considering that half of the classes did some kind of themed restaurant or food stall, I more or less resolved myself to suffer through the heartburn of the century, but if my girlfriends wanted to visit all of them, then that's what we were going to do, come hell or high water!
…
That said, I took another bite from my so-good-it's-average pancake, and silently hoped I'd have an opportunity to sneak away to the nurse's office later and borrow some antacids at some point…
Comments
Waifu-glasses
I was about to talk about how i’m looking forward of more judybot development and even expecting judybot 2.0 with brand new processor L-30 NRD chip, but i got distracted by imoutomeidoknighto so I leave it at that. i wish you all have a pleasant weekend.
Azareck
'father duster' got a chuckle out of me
