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The Simulacrum - Chapter 96 - Part 2
🕑 Added 2022-08-24 17:32:34 +0000 UTCGrand elder Xinji definitely had seen better days. With his eye swollen, clothes ripped, and his fancy top knot undone, he was in quite a story state. It was marginally surprising, as our designated bad guy for our theoretical arc, I expected a bit more from him. But then again, he was ganged up on by two Knights at the same time, so maybe it shouldn't have been 'that' unexpected. It's easy to forget, but the Knights in prime were supposed to be serious bad news, so in retrospect, losing to two of them was probably a foregone conclusion. On the bright side, he didn't look too badly injured, so I figured he should still be capable of fulfilling his role in our play.
The old man was dazed even after Raven Boy dragged him onto his feet, but his one visible eye cleared up the instant he laid it upon me.
"You! You're responsible for all this!" he bellowed in a shaky voice, and in return, I shook my index finger in front of his face.
"Au cotraire, Xinji, dearest of all my distant acquaintances. You have brought this all upon yourself. Or at least most of it. Two-thirds at best, I think." A beat later, I snapped my fingers, still in front of his face, and melodramatically twirled one hundred and eighty degrees on my heel. "Why don't we all figure out the exact percentage together?"
"Preposterous!" the old man yelled and strained against Raven Boy, but didn't have enough strength to break free. "Vile fiend! Devil!"
On a whim, I raised my finger again to stop the proceedings, then reached into my breast pocket and pretended to take out an invisible phone. After miming for a few seconds, I raised my hand to my ear.
"Hello? Hm? Oh, hi Mister Kettle! How are you doing? Oh, you want me to relay a message? Sure!" I paused here and hummed to myself, pretending to be listening, then let my hand down and looked the grand elder in the eye. "Her, Mister Pot? Mister Kettle says that you are a dipshit of monumental proportions, that should check the mirror every once in a while." I paused again, then nonchalantly added, "I think it's good advice. You have something black and purple and swollen on your face around here. You should really pay more attention to your appearance before appearing in public like that."
"Weren't we about to discuss how this is all this guy's fault? Shouldn't we get on with it?" Raven Boy commented on the side while reaffirming his grip on the struggling man, and I sent him an appropriately scathing glance.
"Don't you dare tell me what to do, boy! I do whatever I want, whenever I want!" After a moment of consideration, I Phased into the midst of the idling, confused contestants, and shook my head. "It's so hard to find good slaves nowadays, am I right? Hey, are any of you interested in a job opportunity? I offer a full dental plan and lots of warm hay when you sleep on the floor, and you only have to dedicate your bodies, lives, and eternal souls to me. It's a bargain, I tell you!"
While I was speaking, the crowd around me jumped back, forming a cautious circle.
"Nobody? Really?" I shrugged and Phased back to the old man's side. "Well, it's their loss, right? So, we wanted to discuss how this is all your fault, right? Let's get on with it!"
I could see Raven Boy fuming on the side, but I didn't care, and instead I patted the grand elder on the shoulder.
"Of course, if you would be so kind and hand me over my box, I could be persuaded to drop this line of inquiry and simply leave. Who knows? Maybe you could even salvage this whole conspiracy faux pa of yours. So, what will it be? Are you going to take the easy way?"
The disheveled old man stared daggers at me, and at last, he hissed, "I have no idea what you're talking about! There was no such item sent in for auction."
I held the tension for a while longer, then melodramatically sighed.
"The hard way it is. Why do they never take the easy one? It's mind-boggling..."
"What is this item you speak of?" Roland interjected.
"Oh, nothing you should worry your smart little head over, I assure you," I answered with a laid-back voice. "It was only an old relic of mine that took quite some effort to track down, yet just as it was handed over to this clown over here, it disappeared as if it fell off the face of this planet."
“Ye caused aw thes chaos an' destruction... fur a box?” Mr. Minotaur blurted out, and I clapped my hands in delight. Leading this conversation by the nose was quite fun.
“It was a very precious box, my dear Sir Duncan,” I corrected him with my best middle school English teacher impression. “Very old. Has lots of sentimental value. Also may or may not contain nearly unlimited semi-phenomenal cosmic powers.” I waited for a beat to let that sink in, then abruptly Phased behind the big guy and firmly poked him between the scapulas. He jumped like my finger was red-hot iron, but by the time he turned around to swing his axe, I was already a couple of meters to the left, pacing. “More importantly, I already told you I didn’t cause anything. This is our beloved not-so-grand elder’s little sandcastle. I just decided to come by and knock down a few of the towers.”
“So you are implying that the grand elder planned the coup?” Roland cut in, trying to keep the conversation on track and my attention occupied. That said, I was under the impression he was trying to keep me monologuing so that the Squires could evacuate the injured, yet I didn’t see any movement in the back. Maybe they were plotting something else? I really hoped so.
Anyhow, I promptly Phased back to the old man’s side and responded with a delighted, “Precisely!”
“And he’s also responsible for the Restricted Zone erected on the combat field,” he continued in a more skeptical tone.
“You hit the nail on the head again!”
“What about Brother Agraiwain and Sister Morgana then?” Arnwald spoke up next, sounding decidedly impatient.
“I’m… only taking thirty percent responsibility for that. Closer to twenty-five, really.” I sent a glance at the grand elder, and after meeting his eyes for a few seconds, I exhaled a melodramatic scoff. “What’s that look for? You were the one who conspired with these two, and I just mildly hijacked your original plan! I refuse to take more than twenty percent responsibility for this, you hear me? Take it or leave it.”
His eyes were giving me a classic ‘What the hell are you even talking about? I didn’t say anything!’ kind of look, but before he could voice the sentiment, Arnwald beat him to the punch.
“What do you mean by ‘hijacking’?” For further emphasis, he repeatedly pulled on his bowstring, though he didn’t take aim at me. Maybe it was a nervous tick? Anyhow, since I didn’t respond right away, he let out a low growl and asked, “What have you done to Sister Morgana?”
“And Agrawain!” Penny added from the back, barely taking the time to look up from her artifact. I was wondering what she was still doing with it, but I couldn’t ask Judy at the moment.
“Yes, him too!” the oldest Knight hastily amended, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Hey, Sir Raven? How does it feel to be reduced to an afterthought?”
“Still better than listening to you,” Raven Boy grumbled, and this time I laughed out loud. As much as I disliked the guy, I had to admit he was doing an amazing job when it came to playing the role of a disgruntled minion being forced to follow the orders of someone he absolutely hated, even against his will. He was a true method actor.
“I don’t think it’s strictly relevant to the original conversation, but in case you’re that curious, let me quickly exclaim!”
At this point, I clapped twice, for no other reason than showmanship. It still made everyone tense up, like they were expecting a spotlight would beam down on me from the sky or something. Note to self: figure out how to achieve that effect with an enchantment, as it sounded fun. But back to the stage at hand, I once again began pacing while gesturing with my hands. After all, as the villain, it was my sworn duty to monologue.
“You see, my dear little cavaliers, I was busy minding my own business, when I noticed that this here old man of questionable wisdom was conspiring with these here knights in sour armor. Since it looked interesting, I decided to pay them a visit, but in the end, it turned out the whole ordeal was an awfully droll affair. I would’ve probably never bothered with these three, if not for the sudden and inexplicable sublimation of my box. Since I didn’t have the time to visit every single person on the guest list, I decided to visit Dame Gorgon and, since I knew they were going to make an appearance here anyway, I figured I might as well mix business with pleasure and have them nicely ask for my property. I figured it would be at least entertaining.”
“He caused all this havoc just for his entertainment?” a voice whispered in the back, coming from one of the filler contestants, but since everyone was listening to me with bated breaths, I could still hear them.
“No, of course not! I mean, these two were going to show up here anyway, I only asked them to do me an itty-bitty little favor while they’re at it. Not to mention, if I was doing this for fun, I would've brought popcorn. I don’t have any popcorn, therefore this wasn’t done for fun. You see? Logic agrees with me, right, Dame Gorgon.”
“Yes, it makes perfect sense.”
“No, it doesn’t!” Raven Boy hissed, but she didn’t respond.
“As for the rest of this frankly amusing situation, why don’t we ask Xinji? I’m sure he’s just bursting at the seams to finally explain how he set this whole thing up, right?”
“That’s right!” the old man yelled the moment I gave him the opportunity.
“You see, he’s… excuse me, could you repeat that?”
“I said, I will tell you all exactly what happened! This, I swear on my name of Feilong Qiancang Xinji!” he exclaimed, standing tall and almost managing to throw Raven Boy’s hand off.
That… was really unexpected.
“Please, do tell! The suspense is killing me,” I said with open arms, genuinely curious about how he was going to try and wriggle out of this situation.
“It is true, that I have made contact with these two.” He roughly gestured in the direction of the two Knights beside us, then continued with, “However, I did it all for the clan! As the grand elder of the clan and the most senior member of the family, it is my duty to guard it against threats in the shadows! The wild dog on the road is better than the tiger hidden in the shrubs.”
There was a beat of silence, but then Roland whispered, “It probably means something along the lines of ‘the devil you know’.”
Arnwald let out a sharp breath in response, so I figured he might’ve asked what the old man meant. Judy was probably involved in the conversation too. Anyhow, the grand elder didn’t wait for them and continued his explanation.
“I had known for a long time that the Luu and Rồng families were conspiring in secret, bidding their time while waiting for the opportunity to betray the clan and undermine the union generations of clan heads have worked to establish!"
"What?" one of the contestants in the back blurted out, half in surprise and half in outrage, but the grand elder only scoffed at him.
"Face it, junior; your house is a den of serpents, whether you want to admit it or not!"
"Okay, I'm getting a little lost here," I whispered under my breath, and my dear assistant came to the rescue at once.
"{They are smaller clans working under the Feilongs. One is the leader of the Mongolian families, while the other is the last remaining Draconian family in Vietnam.}"
"Oh. Neat."
Meanwhile, the old man continued his speech without paying any attention to my mumbling.
"They are like snakes hiding between the reeds; a cowardly lot too afraid to face the tiger, yet too treacherous not to bite its flank once it turns away.”
I had absolutely no idea about any of this, but based on the number of Eastern Draconians nodding in the background, it apparently made perfect sense to them.
“They were a danger to the clan I could not overlook, yet our clan head refused to take action against them until they would show their true colors. For this reason, I have spent a decade bolstering their confidence and making them careless enough to show their fangs in the open, only to then strike them down and make an example out of them!
Over the years, I made them believe that I was ready to betray the clan head and usurp his position and that by helping me, they would gain their independence. I spent years of my life on this scheme, prepared the perfect stage, and even tricked our ancestral enemies into playing a part in ensuring the jaws of the trap would snap firm and true… any then youdestroyed everything!"
"… Oh, excuse me? Were you talking to me?" I commented half-heartedly, and even pantomimed a yawn. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What did I miss?"
"{Grand elder Xinji explained that he tricked the seditious clans into taking action.}"
"I've heard that, I was just being… Ah, never mind," I muttered in a voice I thought was inaudible, but seeing that it still turned a couple of heads, I forcefully cleared my throat and exclaimed, "Nah, I'm kidding! Of course, I paid attention to how you entered a magical world through a wardrobe, killed the Jabberwocky, and then sailed off to the West with the rest of the elves. It was all very epic and meaningful." The old man only continued to stare daggers at me, so I shrugged and added, "So, are we getting to the point where you tell me why you took my box and where you hid it?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about!"
"With all due respect, mister… er… Bel, I believe?"
Surprised, I glanced to the side where my eyes crossed with those of a middle-aged Asian woman. She was short and fairly lean, with a tidy bob-cut, and she the way she was grasping her hands in front of her chest told me she was quite nervous. She was also mildly familiar, but I only recognized her when she introduced herself.
"I was the one responsible for organizing yesterday's auction, and I can assure you, I have not seen any articles that match your description." Instead of answering, I only tilted my head to the side, at which point she hastily sputtered, "B-But, of course, that doesn't mean the item was not delivered to us. It is entirely possible it was lost during the administration process, and it's still in the vault."
"So?"
"So… um… If you so wish, I could let you into our vault and you can see it for yourself that we are not in possession of your item."
"You can't do that!" the grand elder suddenly bellowed. "We cannot allow this vile fiend into our abode!"
It seemed like the woman was about to object, but I cut their argument short with an annoyed scoff.
"No need. I already looked around the place, and there was nothing interesting there. Well, except for one thing."
At this point, I gestured at Raven Boy, and while his reaction time was abysmal, he still grudgingly reached to his side and, with a flash of colorless light, he procured a spear from his magic bag. It was easy to tell who could recognize it, as those people inhaled sharply the moment it came into view, with our Knights looking the least startled out of all of them. After a beat, Raven boy unceremoniously threw it towards me, and I once again put my weapon-catching training to good use by grabbing it out of the air and theatrically twirling it over my head before holding it out for everyone to take a closer look.
"You see, I was under the impression that this was a one-of-a-kind collector's item. Imagine how utterly devastated I was when I realized there is more than one copy in circulation! I was almost as disappointed as when I realized that the limited edition White Lotus card I permanently borrowed by a famous collector was, in fact, a reprint!"
"I don't get it. What is that?" one of the younger Draconians in the back asked, and Roland, oddly silent until now, took the opportunity to take center stage again.
"It is Ascalon, the first and most famous dragon-slaying weapon of the Brotherhood of the Most Heroic Bloodlines," he stated solemnly, only to then smirk and add, "Or rather, a near-perfect replica of it."
"A fake, you say?" I asked, pretending to be alarmed. "Is it really? That would be even worse. Like, bootleg pocket monster card worse! Who would even do something like that?! That's just evil!"
"{Chief? The Knights are ready to start the mass evacuation. They are only waiting for the right opportunity to start.}"
To my ears, that sounded like 'Please give them the opportunity now', and so I did.
"Ah, but are you sure this is a fake, Sir Roland?" I abruptly asked as I pointed the spear-tip at the still restrained grand elder, and his face immediately slacked with shocked realization. "I think we have a very easy way to test this."
"No!" Xiao yelled on the side as I slowly inched towards her grandfather.
"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, tiny one. If it's really fake, then it's just going to be a tiny little stab through the heart. He's barely even going to feel it. And if it's not, then—"
"Ooooh!"
Before I could finish my sentence, I was interrupted by a loud roar that sounded kind of like a jet-engine, except to my shock and confusion, it was coming from the mouth of odango girl. Not only that, her whole body was shining with magic so much it hurt my eyes to look at her, and she was getting brighter by the second.
"No, Xiao! You can't do this! You must not!" the old man at the tip of my spear roared with an expression a hundred times more urgent than when he was staring at the spear-point of Ascalon.
"Operation go! Go, go, go!" Roland yelled in turn, with two fingers pressed against his left ear.
"What is even—?"
"You can't control it! Stop!" the grand elder's voice drowned out even my thoughts, and he frantically yelled and flailed, trying to get out of Raven Boy's hold. "Somebody, anybody! You must stop her! She's not old enough yet to—"
Then, the old man suddenly disappeared. As in, into thin air, right in the middle of a sentence. He wasn't the only one either, as a good ninety percent of the people still in the amphitheatre also vanished, leaving only our four Knights and a still roaring odango girl on their side, while our side still had all of our numbers.
After the first surprise, I quickly far-glanced at the grand elder, and found him inside a purple zone covering the entire underground complex. He was frantic, yelling about true dragon blood and demanding to return, but he was already restrained by Sahi's hands. She was accompanied by Pascal and Ammy, while the Squires in the back were doing their best to usher everyone out of the mine/cave/whatever.
It took the gears in my brain an awfully long time to figure out what just happened, but once I did, I was tempted to pat Roland on the shoulder. Or, at least, I presumed it was his idea. Maybe Ammy was the one who came up with the idea; it would at least explain why she wasn't around until now, probably working on a Purple Zone anchor or whatnot. Or was it Judy, using his operation control privileges? Whoever it was, they were getting a shoulder-pat anyway.
In short, they did the same thing we did in the beginning, just in reverse. By taking all the non-essential combatants into the Purple Zone, they successfully separated them from us, allowing our Knights and co. to focus all their attention on me and my two eeevil minions of evil. Credit where credit's due, that was some quick thinking.
However, as the ground shook under my feet, I was once again reminded that we had a bit of a situation going on, so I looked back at Xiao… yet she was nowhere to be found. Instead, over the spot where she stood a few seconds ago, there was a large, coiling shape. It was about ten meters long, its serpentine body was covered in shiny golden scales, it had four short, clawed limbs, a bright red mane around its head, and a wide face with a long snout, complete with large deer-like antlers and thin whiskers like a catfish.
"Yep. That's a dragon," I muttered, half dazed and half exasperated.
I knew things were going to sooner or later take a turn for the worse, the crazier, or both, but pessimism or no pessimism, how exactly was I supposed to expect that…
Comments
carebear90
Hmm... Now Sebastian/Fafnir has a little girl to adopt? :D
Rac
"Yep. That's a dragon," And he didn't even have to gather the 7 dragon balls.
