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The Simulacrum - Chapter 103 - Part 2
🕑 Added 2023-02-01 16:50:57 +0000 UTC"We need to find that creep!" Josh declared with his arms crossed, actively destroying the peace and quiet of the lounge.
"We must!" Ichiko agreed by mirroring his stance. "We can't let him ruin ue-sama's vacation!"
I wanted to point out that making a mountain out of a molehill like this was more likely to do that than any random peeping tom, but I sucked the words back. I repeated 'Don't get involved, Leo. Don't get involved.' in my head a couple of times and continued to openly laze around on one of the divans. This was obviously some kind of onsen-episode-flavored plot for local protagonist types, so I proceeded to recline back, doggedly ignore the overly passionate group on my left, and keep reading my book. I got it from the library, and it was about a peach farmer who got transported to a fantasy world by a magical truck, and he fought his enemies with magic fruits and vegetables. It was very educational.
I would've absolutely, obviously, and very genuinely loved to immerse myself in his avocado-slinging, banana-splitting, pineapple-pulverizing adventures, but I, unfortunately, couldn't, as Josh was soon joined by even more eager partners.
"Rinne whale-heartedly agrees with Joshua-san!"
Our resident highly visible ninja, currently wearing a fluffy purple bathrobe over her swimsuit, tried to appear solemn and reliable. She failed.
"Rinne-san meant 'wholeheartedly', and I think so too!" the tiny miko poured more enthusiasm onto the fire by raising a fist high into the air. "We must clear this stain of failure on our honor as retainers by catching this villain!"
"Now that you mention it, securing the area was your job, wasn't it?" Josh commented on the side, and it immediately put Mountain Girl on the defensive.
"Rinne was sure the onmyodo barriers around the boundary were enough to deter any evildoers! That's why Rinne wasn't expecting it! Next time, Rinne will definitely evis… evisce… slay the intruder!"
I really, really wanted to interject and tell her not to do that, but it would've violated my 'don't get involved' mantra, so I swallowed my objection down and focused on the book.
"Since we're all in agreement, I propose that we form an anti-creeper task force!"
"Rinne requests to join this fellowship!"
"Good. What about you?"
"I'm Judy-ue's guard!" the tiny miko answered while excitedly shadow-boxing. "This time, I will protect her dignity and have ue-sama praise me!"
"Rinne too!"
Mountain girl was getting more fired up by the second, to the point she was slowly breaking out into one of her trademark slasher grins. Of course, I only noticed that in passing, since I was obviously too absorbed in my book. About a guy fighting pig-headed orks with exploding eggplants and eviscerating elderberries.
…
Oh, fine. I wasn't actually reading the book. It was just my cover, so that I could observe the plot development from the sidelines while pretending that I didn't notice the expectant glances Josh was routinely sending my way. He was probably waiting for me to join his impromptu task force, but I knew better. As I said, this was almost certainly an 'event' designed specifically for him, though it didn't completely explain his eagerness.
Maybe if the girls were naked, or even just sufficiently scared by the experience, I might've potentially joined up with him, but considering the circumstances, the perpetrator was probably more terrified by a stone the size of my head getting flung at them than any of the 'victims'.
That said, I was a little curious about the identity of the peeper. These kinds of events usually had the idiot friend archetype, or maybe some troublemaker delinquent types, act as the perpetrator. Most of the time it was either just horsing around, or some silly thing with the perversion ramped up for comedic effect, but in either case, the culprits were almost always people the main characters already knew. However, as the resident ex-idiot-friend, I obviously wasn't going to do it, and while we had the Goldfish Poop Gang around, they were still weirdly wary of me, so I seriously doubted they would dare to pull a stunt like that. That only left us with our in-group, and nobody here, not even Duncan, was stupid enough to peep, even for a joke.
Maybe it was a setup for another event? I imagined we'd soon find out, considering how keen Josh was about tracking the guy down. Actually, that brought up another question: was he narratively influenced to be so indignant about the situation, or did he have his own Watsonian reasons? I wondered what Judy would've said about it, and as if on cue, she entered the lounge in the company of the princess, closely followed by my sisters.
We already had our lunch in the restaurant, browsed the resort's small library, and then while I set up camp here to observe the situation, the girls got changed in preparation for the fighting game tournament. I had no idea why that needed a change of clothes, and what they were wearing didn't seem too different from their usual outfits, but maybe it was a girl thing my terminally male brain just couldn't hope to comprehend. In any case, they made their way over to us and the princess automatically sat down next to me.
"We aren't late, are we?"
"Nah. They're still discussing the whole peeper thing," I told her with a shrug. "They're apparently trying to catch the guy by forming some kind of security squad."
"Really?" Penny perked up and glanced over to Josh's group. "Do you think I can join them?"
"Don't ask me, ask them."
My knightly sister let out a huff and turned on her heel, leaving Snowy behind. After a moment of confusion, my Abyssal sister decided to stay, and sat down on my divan, leaving enough space so that Judy could still sit next to me if she wanted. She was such a considerate girl.
"So… what are you reading?" the princess inquired while unsubtly peeking at my book.
"It's a weird story of a farmer squashing monsters with magical squashes.
"The vegetable?" Snowy muttered on my other side, and I nodded. "Is it any good?"
"Nah, it's downright terrible, but I got a couple of chuckles out of it," I admitted, and before I knew it Elly smoothly pulled the book over to give it a closer look.
"Is it bad enough for a live reading session?" my dear assistant asked, and I only just noticed that she had a huge bag of popcorn in her hands.
When she noticed my gaze, she offered it to me, but I shook my head. We had a full-course meal for lunch, and I was still full. If anything, I was curious how she still had space in her frame for snacks after wolfing down a whole stake. I've heard that girls had a separate stomach for sweets, but I seriously doubted that buttered popcorn qualified for that.
More importantly, I considered her question and shook my head again.
"It's not nearly nanar enough for that. It's just a generic power fantasy, just with magical vegetables."
"Nanar?" Snowy echoed me with an inquisitive look in her eyes. "Is that one of those trope things you sometimes talk about?"
"In a manner of speaking," Judy answered in my stead between two bites. "Nanar is when an author or director is trying to make something serious to the best of their ability, but the end product ends up unintentionally hilarious due to incompetence."
"Oh. Do you mean… something like that movie we watched a while back? With the giant robots in space?"
"More or less," I muttered, suddenly recalling that I totally forgot to look into buying the IP rights for that movie as her Christmas present. Oh well. Maybe for her birthday.
"Hey, guys? What's up?" Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Angie approaching us, her sideways ponytail bouncing around with each springy step. However, before any of us could answer, she momentarily froze in her track and stared at Elly with wide-open eyes. "Hold on! Is that the second volume of Potato Knight?"
"Um… Let me see…" she turned the book around to take a look at the cover. "Apparently, it is."
"Awesome! It's one of my favorites!"
Saying so, Angie sat down next to the princess, and even though we still had a space open for Judy, the divan was starting to feel a little crowded. More importantly, once seated, she began drilling my girlfriend.
"Is this the first time you're reading it? How far have you got? The Tomato Fairy was really cute, right? And what do you think about the romance subplot? It only really picks up steam in the fourth volume, but there are already a couple of super-adorable scenes with the protagonist and the duchess in the second volume! Did you get to the part where they go to the ball and dance in the air above the castle?"
"Um… Errr… Leo? Help?"
Sighing, I gently pulled the book out of Elly's hand and turned to face the energetic Celestial.
"Actually, I was the one who borrowed this from the library just now, and I can't comment on any of those things, as I just started reading it."
"Oh, so it's your first time. In that case… Wait." All of a sudden, Angie's eyes narrowed in disapproval. "You started with the second volume?"
"This was the only one I could find," I explained, but it only made her even more incredulous.
"Are you crazy!? You can't start a seminal classic from the second volume! You're missing all the plot developments and character descriptions and the food discussions!" One of those was distinctly more important than the other, but I didn't really care either way, so I simply shrugged. "Heresy! You're a heretic! You must repent by reading the series from the beginning!"
For some reason (possibly an inside joke I didn't get), she was making a cross with her fingers while pestering me, and after a while, I told her, "Well, I can't, because the library doesn't have the first volume."
"That's not an excuse! Once we're back home, I'm lending you all seventeen volumes, and you better read them all from cover to cover, mister! It's going to be on the test!"
"What test?"
"The test I'll put together to see if you've read Potato Knight properly!" Angie declared just a tad smugly, and I was just about to tell her to cut it out when my dear assistant raised her voice.
"If you don't want to read them, can I take a look?"
"… Are you serious, Dormouse?"
"It's for research," Judy stated flatly, and it somehow got my other girlfriend fired up, taking the book out of my hands again.
"Hey, that's a good idea! It should be great practice for finding tropes!"
"Stop!" came the next exclamation from Angie, and she tried to take the book for herself. "You can't start with the second volume! It's going to spoil the finale of the first book!"
It was around this time that my self-preservation instincts kicked in, and shifted my 'Don't get involved' mantra's target over to Angie. Which, in turn, meant that I was now paying attention to Josh's group instead.
"Why should you be the leader?" my redhead sister asked in a provocative tone, followed by an indignant huff.
"Because it's my anti-creeper task force," Josh explained in the same manner, all the while staring daggers at her. Of course, my sister wasn't exactly cowed by this and returned the gesture twofold by pointing a finger at the guy's forehead.
"You have no experience! If you want to see results, you should let your senior lead the group!"
"Since when were you my senior?"
"I, am an Entitled Knight," Penny declared while gesturing at herself. "Uncle Roland told me you want to join us, so you might as well start getting used to it!"
"Oh really? Last I've heard, you're being reorganized, and that entitlement thing doesn't mean anything anymore," Josh jabbed back defiantly, and even though he was reaching (the reorganizing of the ranks wasn't that drastic), it still caused Penny to reel back.
"M-Maybe, but I'm still brother's sister! That means I'm his second-in-command!"
"Wasn't that Roland?" Josh mused in faux innocence, causing my sister to steadily turn redder by the second.
"Then the third!"
"I'm pretty sure that's Arnwald," he pointed out, and this time my knightlier sister's fuse was really about to blow.
Glancing around, we locked gazes for a moment, yet to my surprise, she didn't address me, but instead the girl sitting next to me.
"S-Sister! Support! I need support!"
Taken aback, Snowy remained in a surprised stupor for a couple of seconds, so to help her out, I leaned over a whispered into her ear. Her eyes lit up at once, and she conveyed my idea with the words, "You… are both going to compete, right? I-I mean, playing that game." After a long beat, Josh and Penny both nodded more-or-less in unison. "If so, then… Why don't you use it to decide? Whoever wins gets to be the leader… or something like that."
"That's a great idea!" my knightly sister declared on the spot and flashed a provocative grin at Josh. He, on the other hand, was considerably less fired up.
"Why do I have to do that? I'm already the leader, so I won't gain anything even if I win!"
"What? Are you afraid of losing? Are you a chicken?"
"Excuse me?" Instead of answering, Penny started doing weird clucking noises, so Josh turned to me with a befuddled look in his eyes. "Hey, Leo? Can you do something about your sister? She's embarrassing herself in front of everyone."
"Oh, shut up!" Apparently out of patience, Penny grabbed hold of Josh's collar and pulled him towards the arcade corner. "I'll show you!"
"Are we seriously doing this?" Since nobody answered, my friend soon gave up and brushed the hand holding onto his clothes off. "Fine, whatever. Just don't cry after I beat you."
"That's what you said before the tournament too, and look who was laughing at the end?"
Penny flashed a smug grin that, once again, reminded me of the princess.
"I told you, I was still recuperating at the time."
"Excuses."
"Oh, really? I wonder if you'll have any after I beat you."
"Bring it on, tough guy!"
I couldn't help but feel that the whole conversation went way off the rails somewhere, and considering that Ichiko and Rinne left the group halfway through and headed towards the sauna while discussing their own plans, I wasn't the only one. Anyhow, that hubbub was under wraps for the time being, so I was about to turn to my dear assistant, who had already chewed through half of her popcorn bag, when Snowy tugged on my sleeve.
"Thanks, Leo," she whispered with a bashful smile. "My mind went completely blank back there."
"No problem, sis." I thought that was the end of it, but seeing how she was still looking at me while subtly fidgeting, I figured she might've had something else on her mind as well. "Is there something bothering you?"
"W-What? No? W-What makes you think there's a problem? " That would've sounded suspicious even under the best circumstances, but when she averted her eyes too, I was sure something was going on.
"Are you sure? We can go to a more private spot if it isn't something you want to discuss in public," I proposed, but she shook her head so hard her twin tails were all over the place.
"N-No, it's not like that! It's just… um… Do… Do you think Penny seemed… different from usual?"
I glanced at my other sister, who was by the Street Kombat cabinet and picking her fighter, and even after replaying the previous conversation in my head, I couldn't help but shrug.
"Not really. Why? Did something happen?"
Snowy was still reluctant, but ultimately gestured for me to lean closer, and when I did, she whispered directly into my ear.
"Last night… we did something sisters aren't supposed to do."
It took an inhuman effort to still my facial muscles, and after taking and exhaling a painfully deep breath, I whispered back, "Sis, please be more specific."
"So… um… Last night, after turning off the lights, we couldn't sleep, so we started talking about all kinds of things, and then we… had a fight," she blurted out, and I patiently waited for her to continue. She didn't.
"A fight about what?"
"About… which one of us is your… um… 'first sister'," she told me, and it once again took a lot of effort to remain expressionless. "I-I mean… she'd known you for longer, but you forgot about her, and then I was the one who got officially registered as your sister first, and… and it's silly, isn't it?"
"A little," I admitted while rubbing her noggin. "You know that I don't play favorites."
"I-I know, it's just… once we started arguing about it, I just kind of… you know?"
I didn't, but that didn't mean I wouldn't give her even more of my trademarked Big Brotherly Headpats to calm her down.
"Sure, sure. So? Do you need me to mediate between you two?"
"Hm? Oh, no. We already made up." When I raised a confused brow at that, she hastily explained, "After we argued, Penny said that she was sorry, and then we hugged it out."
"So then, where's the problem?"
"I'm just… not sure that she's really not angry with me."
"It doesn't seem so from where I'm sitting," I told her, but she didn't look convinced. "If you're still bothered by it, just talk with her in private again. You already made it up once, so what's the worst that could happen? It's not like you would suddenly stop being my sisters over something so trivial."
"You're right, I guess…"
My dear Abyssal sister was still conflicted, so on a whim, I tapped her shoulder and pointed at Penny and Josh, already in the process of duking it out in the game.
"Why don't you go and cheer on her, then? I'm pretty sure Penny would appreciate it."
"I don't know… wouldn't that make Joshua feel bad?"
"Then cheer on him too. She won't mind…" I paused here, then quickly added, "But in the off-chance she does, you have my permission to shift the blame onto me."
"That doesn't seem fair either…"
Chuckling, I rubbed her head again, this time just a tad harder, and told her, "Stop overthinking things and just have fun. That's why we're here."
She was still a little reluctant, but after some further prodding, Snowy finally stood up and made her way over to the site of the epic ultimate duel of ultimate destinies. Teenagers and their overthinking, amirite?
So, with her out of the picture, I was just about to turn over to the princess's side, who was still busy discussing the deep and nuanced characters arcs, in a book about slaying spooky skeletons with deadly dates and killer kiwifruits… which she didn't actually read yet. That apparently didn't stop her, nor did it give Angie any second thoughts about spoilers. However, before I could properly listen in on their discussion, I was surprised by Judy casually taking a seat in the hitherto vacant spot next to me.
I was expecting that she would say something, but instead, she just set her head against my shoulder and continued to eat her popcorn.
"Hey, Dormouse?" Glancing up at me, she gave me an odd look. "You're being awfully quiet."
"I'm simply observing our surroundings," she told me like it was obvious. "It's rare to have a quiet moment like this, so I'm enjoying it to the fullest."
"I'm not sure I would call this day 'quiet', but… I guess you're not wrong."
"Of course I'm not. I'm always right, except when the world is wrong. Anyhow, popcorn?"
I turned a skeptical eye, first at her, then at the nearly empty bag in her hand.
"You're unusually mellow today. What gives?"
"What a silly question, Chief? You ask as if you weren't the one who helped me reach nirvana last night."
"… Was that an innuendo?"
"Maybe. So, do you want any popcorn, or not?"
We locked eyes for a moment, and then I unceremoniously reached into the bag and took a handful, much to my girlfriend's satisfaction, after which she nuzzled even closer to me.
Putting the whole 'nirvana' thing aside, maybe Judy was right. While things were a little hectic on the surface, all the hubbub was about fairly tame and inconsequential things. Maybe unwinding for a while and just passively looking at things unfold with popcorn in hand wasn't such a bad idea after all…
Comments
Steven
Cute! Take care of yourself man.
Danielle Warvel
Of course your health comes first. Take care of yourself!
