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The Simulacrum - Chapter 104 - Part 2
🕑 Added 2023-02-14 19:00:43 +0000 UTCOn this day, I learned something new once again. Before I had the opportunity to try one, I thought hot springs were nothing special, but then I was pleasantly surprised by them. Conversely, after being repeatedly encouraged by the men of our little group to give it a go, I finally gave in and entered the sauna, and it turned out to be a disappointing experience. I mean, it was just hot, and it made me sweaty, and while I knew it was more or less the point, I still found it mildly aggravating.
But then again, the others seemed to enjoy it, so maybe it was just me? Or could it be an acquired taste? I didn't really know and didn't really care either, and I just waited until the others had their fill and we could all leave instead. Not that I couldn't have left any time I wanted, but I just didn't want to be the odd man out.
The sauna itself was relatively small. Its wood-paneled walls were simple, and so were the wooden benches along the longer sides of the room. It had enough space for about eight people to sit comfortably, so we more or less completely filled out the place. I was sitting in the far corner, furthest from the entrance, and Fred was sitting across me. Then we had the three Knights, with Josh and, curiously enough, Zihao sitting face to face at the other end of the bench.
This was Roland and Duncan's second time in the sauna, and they were obviously acclimated, enjoying themselves while chatting about various things. Arnwald was slightly more reserved, still accustomed to the head, while Fred was outright silent, and I figured he was also pestered into coming here like I was. He didn't look too uncomfortable though, so I ignored him for the time being and did my best to relax, as much as possible.
"Is the heat getting to you after all?"
I was just about to rest my eyes, but they popped right open upon hearing Josh's sudden question, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize it wasn't aimed at me.
"Huh? What are you talking about? This sauna is barely lukewarm!" Zihao bit back in a growly voice and continued to stare daggers at the guy in front of him. "What about you? Are you thinking about giving up yet?"
"In your dream, flamehead," Josh scoffed back, and while his insult wasn't exactly original, I could certainly see where he got the inspiration, as Zihao's hair was softly flickering with orange light. I asked Naoren about it, and it had something to do with their cultivation and the circulation of inner energies manifesting through some acupoints aaand that was the point where I tuned out of the conversation and just concluded that the younger Feilong brother had glowy hair because metaphysics sometimes just had to obey the rule of cool.
Anyhow, those two were apparently doing some kind of bet, or maybe a dare of sorts, and for a while, I was torn on whether I should warn them about doing things in moderation, but in the end, I decided against it. They were on the other side of the sauna, and with the Knights between us, and considering how loudly they were talking, I would've had to raise my voice to get my point across, and it just wasn't worth the hassle.
Speaking of the knightly trio on my left, I really wished I could join in on their conversation, if only to make time pass a little faster, but I simply couldn't. Ever since we had entered the sauna, they had been reminiscing about their own little misadventures. First, it was something about Arnwald and Duncan getting caught between a Draconian family and some crime boss fighting over territory in Albania, then Roland followed it up with an anecdote about Penny getting lost in Istambul and him having to find him, which was then followed up by Duncan talking about how he once accompanied Morgana and Arnwald on a mission to Sydney, Australia, and was bed-ridden for a week after getting bitten by a snake.
I couldn't really add anything to any of that, considering they were shared memories that had nothing to do with me, and I wasn't learning anything useful either, beyond the fact that they either had no such common stories with me, or that they were still trying to avoid talking about my past. Whether that was because they were still worried that doing so would bring back my memories, or simply because they found it awkward to discuss them in front of me, I had no idea, and I didn't care enough to dwell on the question either. After all, by this point I was half-convinced I didn't just lose my memories, but I never had them to begin with, and by breaking out of my programming I accidentally prevented the Simulacrum to back-fill my backstory as it did with, say, Judy's. In other words, the whole thing was moot, and kind of meaningless beyond academic curiosity.
But enough about me, let's focus on someone else. Like the mad scientist in front of me.
Unsurprisingly enough, Fred was sweating buckets, and it caused his hair to stick to his forehead, and even so, he was still looking halfway decent. It was probably thanks to a decent diet and having a better work/life balance, but he looked considerably healthier than the first time I saw him. In fact…
Why was he so toned?
No, I'm serious. While Fred was definitely looking healthier, I knew from experience that at least half of his diet consisted of junk food, and I had never seen him exercise, ever. Sure, he wasn't anywhere close to, say, Duncan (not that many people were), but just the fact that he had defined muscles made me confused all the same. Was it some kind of magitech, or… Wait. Hold on.
Maybe I overlooked something.
Pausing my thoughts, I glanced around the room, starting from the far left. Zihao was a martial artist type, so he was naturally well-built. Josh, despite never really working out, also had well-defined muscles. The Knights were also given, and the less said about our Mr. Muscletaur, the better. This was a small sample size, but… could it be that this was the 'default' body type of the Simulacrum?
I mean, there was a similar thing going on with the girls, with all of them having good proportions, narrow waists, and attractive faces, traits that applied not only to our little circle of friends and family, but also to the generic placeholders as well. Similarly, all the guys were slim with wide shoulders, and the only two overweight people I've met so far were the school nurse and that otaku stereotype guy from the class the next door over to ours.
Q.E.D: The majority of men in the Simulacrum had athletic builds by default, and that applied even to Fred, who probably never lifted a single dumbbell in his entire life. This, in turn, also meant that I wasn't especially fit or muscular either, but just following the same template.
"Well, that sucks…" I grumbled under my nose, yet somehow I was still overheard.
"Hm? Did you say something, boss?"
"Nah, just talking to myself," I responded with a wave, and Fred gave me an odd look in return.
"Are you having a heat-stroke?"
"Still nah. Just thinking about all kinds of annoying things. Business as usual."
"If you say so." For a second or two it seemed like that was the end of the conversation, but then Fred clicked his tongue and waved at me. "Hey, boss? Speaking of business, can we talk for a moment?"
"I don't think we can do anything else," I answered in the company of a shrug, eliciting a cackle from the man.
"Kihihi! Right, stupid question."
"So? Do you want to re-negotiate the workshop's budget again?"
"Oh, no-no-no! It's perfectly fine." After backpedaling like that, Fred cleared his throat and tentatively asked, "So, here's the thing: I was wondering if you could maybe hire my uncle."
"Peabody?" I asked back in surprise, and he nodded in confirmation. "Why? Did he have a fallout with Lord Grandpa?"
"Ah, no, nothing of the like. It's just that I thought it would be nice to have his expertise. It's always good to have more experts, and uncle was a respected member of the Non-Causative Science Research Society in his youth, so you definitely wouldn't regret hiring him!"
"You're talking like we're short on hands in base."
"Ah, well, not right now, but with the Assembly embargo going on, it's going to be harder to find able research personnel in the future."
"Wait, go back," I cut in with a hand raised. "What was that? An embargo?"
"Huh? Didn't I tell you about that?" He looked genuinely confused, but in the end, he shook his head with a helpless expression. "Maybe I didn't. Oh well. You know that the Research Society and the Assembly aren't on great terms, right? It's mostly because of some old regulations and laws and things like that, but even so, when there's a big project going on in a School, it's not uncommon for the Magi to hire some Research Society members. I mean, we're a loose group and mostly work alone, but some of us are more like freelancers."
"Okay, I get that. Your point is?"
"Kihihi! Guess what, boss! We pretty much nabbed all the non-affiliated members in one fell swoop! The only members who aren't working for us are either small-timers, or already working on some project under the supervision of one of the Schools, but even if we're a loose group, news still travel through the grapevine."
"The point, Fred. Please get to the point," I urged him, the heat making me less tolerant of his rambling than usual.
"The point is that now everyone knows that we have the sweetest gig, and if given the opportunity, every semi-competent researcher and semi-incompetent hedge-artificer would run to this island to join us! Of course, the Assembly didn't like that, so we literally can't hire anyone, either from the Artificers' Lodge or the Research Society, without those old fogeys raising a fuss." He paused here, and then tried his best to flash a winning smile. "And that's why you should hire my uncle instead."
"So in short, the people in the research division are hyped to work under me, they went bragging about it to others, and now the Assembly is unofficially sanctioning us."
"It's not hype! We made more breakthroughs in one month than all the Schools combined do in a whole year! We have all the resources and security we could ask for, and whenever there's some kind of problem we can't solve, you just saunter in, poke it with your fingers, and suddenly it works! It's absolutely maddening!"
"…And that's a good thing?"
"Kihihi! Of course! The whole reason why the Non-Causative Science Research Society formed was to explore and explain the unexplainable and to push the limits of what's considered possible! You aren't just our boss, you're our muse!"
"First off, take a couple of deep breaths and calm down." Fred looked at me funny, but automatically did that I told him anyway. "So in conclusion, the Assembly has control over all affiliated Research Society folks, they are not allowed to join us, and so you want me to hire Peabody. Was that the gist of it?"
"Ah, right! We were talking about uncle!" Fred exclaimed like he actually forgot the original topic, and pointed a finger at me. "Here's the deal, boss: I told uncle about what kind of work we're doing the last time I visited him, and it looked like he might be interested in picking up his old research again."
"I imagined he didn't want to join as a nurse," I whispered under my breath. "What kind of research are we talking about?"
"Kihihi… Believe it or not, when he was young, uncle was one of the most respected experts in the field of artificial life forms! Sadly, he hit a roadblock a couple of decades ago, and he gave up on his research, but after I told him about the things you could do and the new breakthroughs we made, he looked genuinely interested!"
"Did he want to be hired?"
"Well… he didn't exactly say that no. But…" When he finally noticed the brow I raised at him, Fred hastily showed his palms. "Please hear me out, boss. Uncle was completely devastated when his work didn't bear fruit, and after he retired to this island, he cut himself off from the Research Society. I was the only one who reached out to him, and I even tried to continue his research, but I ran into the same bottleneck he did. I did my best anyway, but even after that, I couldn't fulfill his dream."
So the portly nurse was researching artificial life forms, abandoned the projects, then Fred came in and tried to complete it, and his expertise is in robotics, so…
"Galatea?"
"Ah, yes." Fred looked awkward for a moment, but then he explained, "I used uncle's methodology, and filled in the blanks with my own know-how, and… it kind of worked, but it wasn't what uncle was looking for. He never said it outright, but I think I might've done more harm than good to his dream, but I can't exactly stuff that cat back into the bag, if you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I got it. In other words, you feel sorry for the man, and want to me get him a position in the research division, so that he could have another go at his dream project. Did I get that right?"
"That's the gist of it!" Fred flashed a toothy grin, but after a long second, he tentatively added, "As long as it's okay with you, of course."
To be honest, I wasn't against the idea on principle, but trying to keep the weirdoes in the research division on track already felt like herding cats, so I wasn't sure adding Peabody to the mix was a great idea, especially considering he still had that bloody wooden mallet on his desk to this day. On the other hand, though, Fred was right about the fact that having an extra pair of hands in the workshops wasn't a bad thing, and I imagined recruiting the portly nurse from under Lord Grandpa's nose would probably annoying him, which was another argument for going through with it.
"For the record, what exactly does Peabody bring to the table again? Since it's related to Galatea, I guess it was related to robotics? Artificial intelligence?"
"Hm? Oh, not that. Uncle is an expert in the study of homunculi," Fred told me like it was obvious, and it suddenly reminded me of another thing that kept slipping my mind.
"Right. Homunculi. Artificial humans that live and behave completely like humans."
"Erm… Yes."
"Just for the record, how are they different from regular humans?"
"You mean, in appearance, or…?"
"In general."
Fred pondered for a while, almost as if he considered this a trick question. It, of course, wasn't, but to this day I never got a straight answer about why the class rep being a homunculus was such a big deal, and I hoped that he would shed some light on the issue.
"I guess the biggest difference is that they don't have souls?"
I very nearly asked why he sounded so uncertain, but I forced myself to stay on topic.
"And that's important?"
"Of course it's important!" Realizing that it wasn't the answer I was looking for, he crossed his arms and explained, "Having a soul is the thing that differentiates between 'people' and 'not people'."
"Could you elaborate?"
Fred looked at me like he couldn't believe he had to explain something so basic to someone, but it only lasted for a second.
"Okay, let's start with some common ground. You know that in biology, a species is defined by its members being able to reproduce with each other, right?" I kind of wanted to point out that some species could technically crossbreed, but I was sure it wasn't his point, so I just nodded. "Good. Now, look at what we consider 'people'. We have humans, Magi, Draconians, Celestials, Abyssals, and a whole lot of phantasmal creatures that can assume human forms, like the dragons or those foxes in Ichiko's ancestry. It should've been impossible to interbreed between them, yet they still do, and the thing that explains this is that all of them have souls. It doesn't matter how different they may seem, so long as they have souls, they can have offspring with each other. Therefore, the Assembly legally acknowledged everyone who fit those criteria as 'people', and in turn, anyone who doesn't fit it is, by definition, 'not people'."
"That sounds all kinds of arbitrary," I noted with a frown. "And who are the Assembly to declare whether someone's a person or not?"
"Well, boss, you have to admit that the criteria is self-explanatory."
"Really? Then do you think a Chimera is a person? They have souls."
"Erm…"
"And what about Cal? They have a soul. Sorta. Doesn't that throw a monkey-wrench into the whole 'can reproduce with each other' thing?"
"To be fair, until very recently, souls were only theoretical and used to explain why humans, old-blooded people, and phantasmal species could have children together, and I don't think there's anyone else other than you in the entire world who can directly interact with them and confirm their existence, so…"
"Bah, humbug. Nobody is unpersoning anyone under my watch, and if the Assembly keeps insisting that homunculi aren't people, I'll just use the opportunity to beat some sense into them."
"Ki… hihi… Sure, boss. Whatever you say, boss." After that, he fell silent for a while, but after glancing aside, Fred soon gestured for my attention. "Errr… Speaking of beating people up, don't you want to do something about those two?"
Blinking, I followed the way his finger was pointing and found Josh and Zihao, still staring daggers at each other… while one of them had their hair glowing like it was actually on fire, and their whole body was surrounded by surging streams of red light, while the other was transformed into a draconic form, with beads of sweat glistening on his white scales. The first thing that came to mind was to wonder just why did Josh have a blood capsule on him, or where he even kept it until now, but I shook the idea out of my head and stood up.
"Are you ready to give up yet?" Josh hissed between clenched teeth, and the younger Feilong brother responded with a cocky grin.
"What? Is the heat getting to—"
Before he could finish whatever taunt he had in mind, I reached their side, and slapped the back of both of their heads at the same time.
"You two apparently need to cool your heads a little. Three laps around the men's pool."
"What? Why?" Zihao whined while holding his head, so directed my most severe glare at him and lowered my voice by an octave.
"Now."
The two nuisances shared an uncertain glance, but when I dramatically cracked my knuckle, Josh's self-preservation instincts finally kicked in, and before long, Zihao followed after him in a hurry. Satisfied, I turned back to the four men still inside the sauna and said, "I'll go and make sure they behave themselves. Continue as you were."
With that, I also stepped outside and closed the door behind me, successfully escaping the heat.
"Hi, Chief." Glancing over, I found my dear assistant in a polka-dot bikini, with a pair of bottles in her hands, and she unceremoniously handed one over the moment our eyes met. "You've been in there for a while, so I was about to check on you."
"Thanks, Dormouse."
"Don't mention it." She paused, then glanced to the corridor leading to the outdoor baths. "Why are Josh and Zihao racing each other around the pool?"
"Just the usual rivalry stuff," I told her between two gulps from the room-temperature ice tea. "More importantly, once we're home please remind me to write a sternly worded official letter to the Assembly about interbreeding, people, and souls."
"… Are you going to explain that?"
"Later. I'll go take a shower first."
"Good idea," she noted and handed me the other bottle as well. "I'll go get some towels and be with you in a minute."
And just like that, she practically stormed off and left me alone in the hallway. I couldn't help but wonder what she meant by that, but not for long, and I soon turned on my heels and walked past the door leading to the outdoor bath where the two troublemakers were still running in circles. Also, it took me until Judy barged in on me in the shower to realize that our non-lewding period ended last midnight. I blame the heat exhaustion.
Comments
Orion Dye
Youre doing pretty well man. Try to get some rest, and hopefully whatever is causing you stress resolved itself soon.
Egathentale
Hello, dear readers. I really want to complain about life, but I promised I won't. As such, please insert generic grumbles here. I'll try to churn out the next part a bit quicker, and until then, please stay safe, and have a nice day.
