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The Simulacrum - Chapter 111 - Part 1
🕑 Added 2023-04-21 14:45:20 +0000 UTCAll right. Now that we finally had a stretch of straight and level rails in front of this runaway train of a situation, it was time to spend a moment gathering my wits and summarizing what I knew.
So, Sir Percival was working for some Celestials. Those Celestials were then taken out by another group of Celestials, and then I was taken to Elysium. I thought they wanted to give me back my lost memories in order to learn something I'd forgotten, but then it turned out that their actual goal was to implant a completely different set of memories into me, by using this transforming knife-spear-doodad in my hand, and they now thought I was an Archon.
That was definitely not part of my plan, but there was no point crying over spilled milk. If anything, this was the time to finally take reign of the situation and stop getting caught up in the flow.
"O Arch—"
"Shut up. Give me a minute," I told them, and closed my eyes.
First, I used Far Sight to check the situation 'outside'. The girls… were in some kind of meeting, with Roland and dad-in-law. By the looks of it, they were inside the Dracis mansion, which meant they were safe. Good.
Next, I Far Glanced at my sisters, and they were back home, huddled in front of Snowy's PC. They looked tired, but otherwise fine. So far, so good.
Over the next couple of seconds, I repeatedly cycled through all the marks on my friends and allies, and while most of them were either in meetings, heading to meetings, or running around on rooftops (that last one was mostly Mountain Girl), I finally settled on Percival. The old man was lying on a bed, with his head and arms covered in bandages, and he just gave his thanks to the Dracis maid for bringing him an early dinner, and… Wait, was it really that late?
"You. Tsephanyah, was it?"
"Y-Yes, O Archon!" the blonde man stood up at once, delighted by the fact I recognized him.
"How long has it been since I came here?"
"If you meant to say since the last time you walked this earth, I believe the answer in solar years should be—"
"Not that, you dimwit," I scoffed and massaged my temple. "For how long was I in that infernal cocoon?"
"Ah. It has been a little over…" He glanced to the other Celestials behind his back, followed by some back-and-forth whispering. "It was a little over thirty hours."
"No wonder I'm thirsty…" I whispered under my breath, and while I was certain the Celestial director couldn't hear me over the incessant buzzing of the Mana Well just a couple steps away from us, it still earned a response from someone.
"{Advice: Archon Polemos's body is weakened. I recommend an intake of sustenance and prolonged rest.}"
"Nobody asked for your opinion," I hissed and knocked the butt of the spear against the floor again. It took way more effort than I expected, but on closer examination, it was obvious why that was the case. While I donned my faux Knight Gear, meaning my body strength was boosted, I'd still held out my right arm at a ninety-degree angle for over thirty hours. That obviously wasn't good for circulation, so the fact that it felt weak and tingly was entirely understandable.
Focusing on the Celestial representative again, I collected my thoughts and let out a long breath.
"I need some time to readjust. Get me a room, water, something to eat, and Jaakobah Arpachshad."
I expected some confusion, or asking some whys and wherefores, or even just someone wondering about how I knew Jaakobah's name when, as far as they knew, I should've been replaced by some thousand-years-dead leader figure or what have you, yet all the Celestials in the room took my request in stride and practically stumbled over each other in their hurry to bring me something to drink.
The only one who remained stationary was the toga-wearing bigwig, and after a long beat, he tentatively asked, "Do you, perchance, still possess the memories of Leonard Dunning, O Archon?"
"Of course I do," I scoffed as I started moving, using the spear as a makeshift walking pole to help with my stability before shaking it in front of his face. "Are you telling me you didn't even know how this thing worked?"
"I… This was the first time your Spear of Destiny has chosen someone, so we had no precedent, and the original texts from your time were… fragmentary."
"Spear of Destiny?" I echoed the man, and as he nodded, the pointy stick in my hand also chimed in.
"{Elaboration: That is this weapon's official designation.}"
"Yeah, no. From now on, you're Teeny," I blurted out in frustration, and yet the mechanical voice of the spear took it in stride.
"{Confirmation: New designation registered.}"
In the meantime, one of the Celestials that departed just a minute or so ago returned. She was a solidly built middle-aged woman with shoulder-length black hair, currently looking rather matted and disheveled. The moment she arrived, she fell to one knee and held out a bottle of cheap mineral water in her hands to me like it was the Holy Grail.
"I, Adva Tira, Vice-Director of Housing and Rural Development, present my gift to you, O Polemos, Second True Archon of the—"
"Thank you." Running out of patience, I snatched the bottle out of her grasp with my free hand and downed its contents with one single go. It turned out I was thirstier than I thought, as while it definitely hit the spot, I felt like I could drink three or four more of these without feeling full. In any case, I returned the empty bottle to the still-kneeling woman and told her, "Your name is Adva, right? Please remind me to return the favor one day."
"A-Ah! Just the grace of Archon Polemos remembering my name is more than I could ever ask for!" she exclaimed with a frankly disturbing glint of zeal in her eyes. Was this how pop singers felt in front of their most rabid fans, I wondered?
In the meantime, the rest of the Celestials also came back one by one, carrying bottles, crystal glasses, and all kinds of other containers, and upon seeing the Celestial Woman's smug grin as she brandished the empty bottle, I could practically hear the sound of their teeth grinding from over here. My evaluation of this entire society was falling dangerously close to ground level.
"Open the way!" the six-winged director waved his hands and… on second thought, I was probably going to have to interact with him a bunch, so figured it was time I started using his name. Let's amend that: Director Tsephanyah waved his hands and shooed the gaggle of Celestial bureaucrats plugging the only entrance to the Mana Well shrine away. "The Archon just returned to us and requires rest!"
"But what about the parade?" a voice from the back of the group cried out, but before he could respond, I beat him to the punch by raising my voice.
"We have more important things than that. So, where's that room I already asked for, and where's Jaakobah?"
"I'm here, Archon," another voice called out from even further back, and when I took a step in that direction, the gaggle of idiots parted in front of me. "Please forgive my appearance. I was requested to appear at once."
Despite what he said, the man looked perfectly fine. Well, by his own standards, as his cheeks were still sunken and he still had bags under his eyes, but since he was now wearing a dark business casual suit without a tie and matching pants, he looked more than presentable. At least, he probably looked better than I did in my makeshift disguise, but that was neither here nor there.
We locked eyes for a moment, then after I raised a questioning brow, he gave me a deep nod and asked, "What do you request from me?"
"Lead me to a decent room, for a start," I grumbled as I walked between the two rows of people sticking to the walls of the corridor, and I was closely followed by Director Tsephanyah.
"We've already prepared a room for your use, O Archon. It should more than fulfill your expectations."
"That shouldn't be hard, considering my expectations are rather low," I answered absently, and somehow ended up leading the procession back to the elevator, with Jaakobah and Tsephanyah following right behind me. Once we arrived, I waited for them to call the lift, but they remained completely motionless, so I had to use one of my phantom limbs to do it myself. "Which floor is it?"
The elevator arrived just as I asked, seemingly to everyone's surprise.
"It's… the fifty-second floor, O Archon," the man in the toga answered as he eyed me with an odd look, but I was still thirsty, hungry, and way too tired to play any mind-games with him.
As such, I stepped into the cabin, gestured for Jaakobah to follow after me, and the moment he was inside, I used the same phantom limb to close the doors and get the elevator moving before anyone else could even move a finger.
"I think there was a mistake," Jaakobah spoke up and tried to hum something, no doubt to make the cabin stop and return to the basement, but I quickly overrode the command he sent to the magical interface.
"Shut up, Jaakobah," I hissed at the man, and his eyes opened wide as saucers, which meant my expression was probably direr than intended. I didn't case. "Just so you know, you're already on my shit-list for roping me into this. How high you're going to end up on that list is entirely dependent on your words and actions in the next couple of minutes, so I recommend you shut up, stay put, and think long and well about your options. Are we clear?"
"Yes. Crystal."
His response was instantaneous. I had no choice but to give it to him; he was remarkably cool under pressure. For the next couple of minutes, we remained silent as the elevator slowly climbed its way up to our destination, which was…
"Why the fifty-second floor in particular, anyway?" I grumbled out loud, and I got two different answers.
"{Explanation: Fifty-two is the holy number of Deus.}"
"It's at the center of the Migdál, making it the best protected against outside intrusion."
I had a lot of questions about each of those answers, but I couldn't be bothered to ask them at the moment, especially since we just reached our destination. The elevator doors opened with a pinging noise, and contrary to my expectations, my eyes were met by the sight of a completely normal, plain corridor. Exactly the same as all the others I'd seen in the tower so far. It even had a little flying Roomba in it that scampered over to our side and dusted off the Celestial Agent's shoes.
Speaking of which, I gestured for Jaakobah to lead the way, and after what felt like circling half the floor, he stopped in front of a large double door.
"This is the room the Elders and the Director of Internal Affairs had prepared for the arrival of the—"
"I don't care."
Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, I forcefully opened the door by bisecting the locking enchantment with my phantom limb and walked in. The room itself was rather plain, but still more ornamental than the ones I'd encountered during my scouting trips. For a start, while the walls were still pure white, it had some décor in the form of a couple of familiar banners, as well as a large, white stone meeting table set in the middle, surrounded by stools and one sizable throne on one end, also carved from stone.
All of that looked rather uncomfortable, so I skipped this room and headed into the bedroom, which was also fairly plain, with only a few pieces of plain white furniture, a blue carpet with the familiar crest, and a bunch of windows overlooking the sunset skies of the Elysium. More importantly than any of that though, it also had a rather soft king sized bed, upon which I could finally rest my aching legs. Sure, my right arm had it the worst, but I had also been standing around for thirty hours straight, so of course my legs were tired.
Jaakobah followed after me and looked rather stumped by the relieved sigh escaping my mouth as I could finally stretch my limbs, but before he could speak up, I pointed at a nearby chair.
"Bring that over and sit down. Don't talk until I ask."
The stoic agent nodded and followed my instructions. In the meantime, I glanced at the spear still in my hand. I laid it across the bed, and now that I could take a closer look, I had to admit that it was a nice piece of equipment. The whole shaft looked and felt like it was made of matte green jade, yet it was very light and felt quite sturdy to the touch. The spearhead had an elongated leaf shape, reaching over thirty centimeters in length, and had a completely spotless mirror-shined surface, save for the intricate interweaved patterns carved into the flat of the blade. More curiously, it had no socket, but it seemed as if it organically grew out of the green material of the pole instead.
Overall, it was a surprisingly well-balanced weapon, but was also rather cumbersome to carry around indoors.
"Hey, spear?" I attempted to call out to it, but got no response, so I tried again. "Teeny?"
"{Response: Yes, Archon Polemos?}"
"Can you get small again?"
"{Response: Negative. Returning to standby mode is not possible at this time.}"
Honestly, I was getting a little annoyed by how much it was responding like an AI from a sci-fi movie, using terms like 'standby mode' like it was natural, and while I considered how to call it out on it, I was startled by my right palm getting hot all of a sudden. Before I could even react, the spear shaft in my hand began to shrink, while the blade at the end of it elongated and grew a guard, morphing into a short sword in front of my eyes.
"{Inquiry: Light Armament mode initialized. Is this satisfactory?}"
"… Yes. Much better," I muttered as I raised the weapon to eye level. Strangely enough, its weight didn't change much, but it was still easier to use.
The first thing I did was to switch it over to my left hand, and after limbering up my fingers a little, I reached down to where my belt buckle used to be on my original outfit.
"{—in that enchanted space again!?}" Cal exclaimed, probably following up on the last words we shared before I stored them away, and their outburst was followed by a long beat of awkward silence. "{Young knight? Where exactly are we?}"
"In the Elysium," I told him matter-of-factly.
"{What? Why are we here? How did we get here? And… did you put me in that enchantment of yours without my consent again?!}"
Before I could say anything in response, the sword in my other hand let out a low buzz.
"{Observation: Another Interface Entity is detected. Attempting to make contact. Please, identify yourself.}"
"{What? Who was that? Young knight! Did you get another sword after you stashed me away?! Without even asking me first?! How could you?!}"
"… Why are you sounding like a jilted lover?" I mumbled under my breath, but Cal wasn't paying attention to me, as they were too busy arguing with the other sword.
"{Reminder: Please, identify yourself.}"
"{If anyone has to identify herself, it's you, knave! Who are you, and what have you done to my young knight?!}"
"{Observation: The Interface uses archaic syntax and is deemed uncooperative. Recommendation: Discard this defective Interface at once.}"
"{Who are you calling defective, you lout?! And who do you think you are to order my young knight around like that! Young knight, dispose of her, right now!}"
"Cut it out, you two," I groaned and lightly tapped the guards of the two swords against one another.
"{Report: Superficial damage detected. Initiating repair protocols.}"
"All right, I officially ran out of patience," I cut in and raised the short sword up. "Why are you talking like that?"
"{Answer: This Interface's communication module relies on the user's vocabulary for simulating verbal communication.}"
"{Hah! You see, young knight! She can't even talk on her own! She's useless!}"
Since my curiosity was quenched for the moment, I let the short sword down and raised Cal instead, though since it was heavier, I didn't quite manage to get it to eye level.
"Listen up, Cal. I need you to focus on something else, so ignore… erm… 'her' for now." Even as I said that, it felt weird to assign gender to a transforming sword-spear-knife-whatever-thing like that, but in the grand scheme of things, it was such a minor issue that I only spent a second or two pondering it before exiling the concern from my mind and focusing on Cal again. "Please check my arm for any internal damage, and do your thing."
"{Statement: I would like to inform the Archon that Artifact: Tiny also possesses bio-diagnostic and regenerative functions.}"
"{Silence you… you temptress! My knight asked for my help, so remain quiet, or face the consequences!}"
"{Response: I urge the Archon to reconsider discarding this newfound Interface on grounds of irreconcilable differences.}"
"{I'm no 'newfound'! You're the laggard here, and…} Before he could reach the end of his sentence, Cal's words trailed off into silence. "{Hm? You are indeed suffering from some internal injuries, young knight.}"
"How bad is it?"
"{It is but a minor injury, far from maiming, yet because it is the same hand that had already suffered a crippling wound in the past, recovery might take as much as a handful of days.}"
"Was that a pun?" Cal didn't answer, so I let it go. "Whatever. That's not too bad. Please look after it."
"{Naturally. After all, you are my destined wielder, and as your one true sword, it is my duty to take good care of you!}"
"{Observation: The interface designated as 'Cal' employs unconventional inflections, which is a sign of instability. I recommend discarding him before further systematic errors could lead to…}"
"Things are going to get noisy in my head for a while, aren't they?" I whispered under my breath, but since the room was so quiet, it still caught the attention of the motionlessly sitting agent in front of me.
"Was that a rhetorical question?" he asked with a completely straight face.
"No, unfortunately not," I told him with a sigh and laid the two swords onto my thighs as I straightened my back and took a deep breath. "I guess we might as well get started. Please explain everything."
The indifferent man's expression didn't change much, yet the way his eyes moved told me didn't understand the question.
"Let's try this again, with a narrower question: Why me?"
"It's because you're the Second True Archon," he answered me without even the barest hint of a pretense.
"We'll get back to that, but first, can you explain why me in particular? What was the criteria? Is it another prophecy, or…?"
"It was the characteristics of your Astral Body. I noticed the signs while I treated your injury, but I admit I only became certain when you disarmed me yesterday."
"Okay, I get the first part, but what does the—"
"For he is the Sovereign of the Spear, the master of war, and all that is made of magic and metal are beholden to his every word," he interrupted me, his words carrying a strange cadence. "Second Book of Hymnos, verse thirty-seven."
"… All right, apparently we're still not on the same page," I spoke with an underlying groan and readjusted my posture on the bed. "Third time's the charm, so let's try it again, from the very beginning: Tell me all about this Second True Archon, why it's me all of a sudden, and why everyone was so desperate to get their hands on me and worm their way into my good graces."
Jaakobah's eyes shook again, and after another long beat, he tentatively asked, "You wield the Spear of Destiny. I do not want to offend you, but shouldn't you already be aware of that much already?"
For the first time, I could see a hint of skepticism, and even caution, in his gaze, so I exhaled a dramatic sigh and pointed at my forehead.
"Listen, Jaakobah. As of this moment, my mind is a mess. Imagine… Yes, imagine the entire LotMFL trilogy, and not even the theatrical release, but the director's cut that's like twelve hours long. You got that?"
Despite my oddball request, the gaunt agent nodded at once.
"Okay, now imagine that instead of having the full movies, you have about ten thousand still frames from across the entire trilogy, completely out of order, and you had to reconstruct the original story from that. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"Yes, I understand perfectly."
I… was honestly taken aback by his forthcoming attitude, but I'd be lying if it didn't feel like a breath of fresh air.
"Good. Now, with that in mind, let's return to the first question again: I want you to explain everything to me, from top to bottom, beginning to end. Are we clear on that?"
"Absolutely," he responded with military decorum and then took a deep breath. "All things considered, I judge we must start by reminding you of who Polemos, the Second True Archon was, and is, in you."
The way he put that was slightly ominous, but it was information I desperately craved, so I wasn't going to let him out of this room even if the explanation lasted until the morning, and considering we were about to cover millennia of history, I had a feeling we'd be eating both dinner and breakfast in here…
Comments
Steven
Okay, I already love the interactions between Cal and Tiny.
Enrico Snipes
He isn't really in the state to do much at the moment so better to rest and heal a bit while listening to the background setting, during that time he can farsight roll call and handle his girlfriends and make plans to beat Percival to kingdom come
carebear90
30 hours.... yeah. I was afraid of that. 'Uncle Percy' had more than enough unsupervised time to make trouble. I don't want to sound alarmist, but... Leo should probably at least make a farsight roll call before he listens to the whole silly Archon lore.
