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The Simulacrum - Chapter 115 - Part 2
🕑 Added 2023-06-02 13:27:18 +0000 UTC"So… are we going to sit down, or…?"
Josh sounded unusually awkward, and his expression told me that he had a lot on his mind, but at the end of the day, I simply shrugged.
"Whatever suits your fancy. I've been sitting for a while now, so I'll refrain."
"Then I'll stand too," he declared, and then fell silent, waiting.
Using the lull of the moment, I took a deep breath and centered myself. This recent deduction gave me a potential idea about what the nebulous Narrative was planning, but since I already thwarted it by foiling the memory transfer, I figured I shouldn't get too worked up over the possibility. Of course, it didn't mean that I should completely ignore it either; the last thing I needed right now was some kind of enforced drama like that, so I had to be on the lookout for any development in that direction.
Anyhow, Josh was starting to fidget, so I shelved the prospective Polemos/Josh slash-fic ideas and focused on the guy.
"I guess you wanted to discuss something in private?"
"Not really," he responded by reflex, but then a second later he hastily added, "I mean, there's that too, I guess. It's been a while since we both sat down and had a discussion about stuff. Or stood around, in this case."
"It hasn't been that long," I objected, mostly on principle. "Didn't we have a heart-to-heart at the hot spring just the other day?"
"More like 'just the other week'," Josh scoffed and shook his head. "Lots of stuff happened in the meantime, and I don't just mean your kidnapping or whatever." All of a sudden, Josh blinked in realization, and then narrowed his eyes. "By the way, was that whole thing just another one of your overcomplicated secret plans?"
"I don't make 'overcomplicated plans', but putting that grievous accusation aside, nah. This whole situation completely blindsided me. I'm just trying to make the best of it, now that I'm caught up in this whole Celestial mess."
"Ah, that's good." Realizing that what he said sounded weird, he showed his palms and hurriedly amended, "I mean, getting caught up in stuff obviously isn't good, but… it's still better than if you scared the living daylights out of everyone on purpose, I suppose."
"Don't be overdramatic," I scoffed, but my friend remained entirely stone-faced
"I'm not kidding. Everyone was freaking out after you disappeared!"
"Including you?"
"Of course!" he exclaimed with audible indignation and crossed his arms. "Come on man, put yourself in my shoes for a second, would you? Do you think my best friend getting kidnapped was fun for me? I mean, jeez! Do you have any idea how scary it was to think that there were people out there who could even do that? If you can be kidnapped, nobody's safe!"
"Hey, hey! I'm also human, you know? By the colloquial meaning of the word, I mean. I can make mistakes too, and I've already been chewed out by Roland for not thinking this through well enough. I don't need a second round of that, thank you very much."
"Well, it apparently wasn't effective enough."
"Give me a break, will you? Between Fred, the girls, everyone giving their reports, and Rinne doing a terrible Celestial cosplay, I didn't exactly have a lot of time to self-reflect yet."
Josh's face told me he still was miffed by my attitude, but when I mentioned Mountain Girl, his frown finally eased up and he uttered, "What was that about, anyway?"
"I'm going to take her with me this time, granted she can properly disguise herself."
"Good idea. If Miss Yamako is with you, then everyone can rest a little easier. If you have a bodyguard, you might as well use her to guard you."
"It all depends on whether the second disguise will be any better than the first," I pointed out, and the guy's face immediately settled back into a disapproving grimace.
"Does it really matter? Keeping yourself alive should be way more important than whether or not her outfit is up to your standards!"
"It's not like I'm planning to get into any dangerous—"
"Don't even finish that sentence!" Josh cut me off and made a wild but mostly aimless gesture with his right hand. "Ever since this whole supernatural stuff appeared out of the blue, our lives had been one dangerous situation after the other! You're the one who kept everyone alive so far, so the last thing we need right now is for something to actually happen to you! Think of your own safety, for fuck's sake!"
"… Strategic f-bomb notwithstanding, you're starting to sound like my girlfriends. Please stop." Josh let out a miffed 'Bah!' in return, and when he didn't continue, I decided it was time to take the rudder of this conversation and take a sharp left turn. "Anyhow, you said you wanted to discuss something between the two of us, didn't you? I presume that means you have a topic in mind."
"Several," my friend huffed and let his arms down. "But I guess there are only two things we really need to talk about right now."
"I'm listening."
Inhaling deeply, he levelled a pair of serious eyes at me, then exhaled sharply.
"First, I want to be clear on something. Remember that talk we had way back? About those prophecies and being a 'chosen one', and all that crap?"
"Yep. Hard to forget."
"Then can you explain to me what's going on right now?" When I raised a brow in response, he elaborated. "I mean, you said I was in the center of all of these prophecies and whatnot, including the one about this Deus guy, but then you were the one who got not-kidnapped and turned into a Celestial head honcho. What's that all about?"
"Just the usual convoluted bullcrap," I replied with a shrug and tilted my head to the side. "On the bright side, while they are focusing on me, the Celestials are even less likely to realize that you're the second coming of their Dear Leader. After all, what are the chances of both Polemos and Deus showing up at the same time, on the same city of the same island?"
"Since it apparently happened, I guess it's one of those one-in-a-million things," our resident protagonist grumbled, but then there was a spark of recognition in his eyes and he locked gazes with me. "That reminds me of another question I had. You told us that they think you're this Polemos guy because some artifact gave you the memories, right? So… was something like that supposed to happen to me too?"
"I haven't the foggiest idea at the moment," I admitted, which obviously displeased him. "Don't look at me like that. Half the reason I'm going back to the Elysium is to find out. Well, more like a third. I have a lot of stuff do to there."
"I get it, but… I thought being recognized as this 'Deus' would be kind of like when in those fantasy stories, the farmboy turns out to be a lost prince and gets to go on an adventure. You know? Hero's journey stuff?"
"I'm surprised you're familiar with that."
Josh sent me a sideways look and flatly stated, "I needed to learn some basic literary theory just so that I could properly explain to Angie how much her taste in young adult novels sucked."
"Did it work?"
"No. She didn't talk to me for a whole spring break back in middle school." After muttering that, he visibly realized that we were going off-topic and he shook his head. "That's not important! The point I was trying to get across is that there's a big difference between suddenly getting recognized as an important person, and getting that person's memories shoved into my head. I'd like to avoid the latter if possible."
"Easy there, buddy. Even if something like that was the case, now that I have first-hand experience with this heap of crap, I'm confident I could help you out."
Unless it was a plot device, of course, in which case it would be an enormous pain in the ass and would probably require lots of creative interpretation of the rules of magic to do something about it, but he didn't need to know that, and I figured that worrying about bridges I might not even need to cross was pointless at the moment.
"That's reassuring." After that curt response, Josh looked me straight in the eye again, and emphasized, "Which is all the more reason for you not to die or disappear or whatever on me."
"I got it! Geez! Give me a break, will you?"
Apparently, that was all that he wanted to say on the issue, as he switched gears right away.
"The other thing I wanted to talk about kind of ties into this whole Deus topic too. Or, I think it might? Maybe not, but… You see, lately, I have a harder time transforming."
"… As in?"
"For example, we had to wait for a while for you to show up today, right?" I didn't know where he was going with that, but for the time being, I nodded along. "So, to pass the time, and because he was being a prick again, I sparred with Zihao for a few rounds."
"Did you win?"
"Three to two, but that's not important." Despite saying that, the grin he flashed when he revealed the 'score' told me he was rather pleased with himself. "Listen. The problem is that I needed to pop two blood capsules to get the Draconian transformation going, and it's lasting shorter than usual. The same goes for the Abyssal one too."
"Hm. That is odd," I noted as I absently touched my chin. "Did you ask Fred about it?"
"No. At first, I just thought I was out of it, and after that, a lot of stuff happened, but since it came up again today, I thought I'd ask you first. I mean, you're the one who knows everything."
"I don't, but that really is peculiar." While I fell silent to think, the guy in front of me was looking at me attentively, his previous aggravation already gone with the wind. "You mentioned the Draconic and Abyssal pills. What about the Celestial one?"
"That's the weird part: it's actually easier. Normally it takes a second or two after I bite down on the capsule for the Magiformer to trigger, but with Angie's blood, it's instantaneous. I think it also lasts a little longer, but I didn't really test it. I use the Celestial transformation much less than the others."
"Yeah, you are more of a solo brawler type, while Celestials are more about finesse and teamwork," I mused, earning me an odd look from my friend. Ignoring it, I shook my head and focused on the core topic again. "Anyhow, I guess that's why you thought this has something to do with the whole Deus issue."
"Yeah. I was wondering if the two things are related."
"Maybe."
Normally, I would've told the guy to go to Fred and get a full check-up, but since he came to me for advice, I figured I would do 'my thing' first. Not any supernatural shenanigans either, but some good old-fashioned meta-thinking.
Let's say that this is a change that's happening because Josh is on the hypothesized Angie-route. Since it would focus on her, it would consequently mean that it would focus on Celestial matters, and so Josh's transformation abilities shifting towards that end made sense. It would serve as a primer for him becoming Deus's second advent, and by consolidating his power-set, it could even serve as a route-specific power-up. Some stories really liked to do that, giving the main character some last-minute power-ups that corresponded with the girl he picked. Of course, that only applied to interactive stories; most battle harem narratives had an obvious winner from the very beginning, and the protagonist's power progression was planned out from the beginning, but that didn't seem to be the case here. Also, let's ignore how I may or may not have muddied the waters by introducing the Magiformers, the blood capsules, and giving our protagonist a unique training environment.
Anyhow, back to the main topic: when the main character had a variable power-set, depending on the route they picked and/or choices they made along the way, instead of training, it usually boiled down to three possibilities. The first option was the power of love awakening some last-minute powers. Since Josh and Angie were now officially dating, the 'love' part fit, but they got together without any major dramatic event that would've given Josh an incentive to awaken his powers. The second option was copying the powers of others, which Josh was already doing through the capsules, without requiring any epiphanies or sudden revelations. As for the last option, it was a classic eroge staple, where the protagonist gained new powers by…
…
Wait. That might be it.
"Hey, Josh?" My friend twitched when I suddenly called out to him, and a second later, he let out an attentive hum. "For the record, when did this all start?"
"I guess… After we came back from the hot springs, I think."
"Ah, that actually adds up."
My whispers, followed by a knowing nod, made the guy in front of me unnecessarily tense.
"Did you figure it out?"
"Probably."
"See, I told you? I tell you about a thorn in my side, and then after a minute of thinking about it, you just figure it out on the spot! It's what makes your denial of being an all-knowing crackerjack sound so legitimate. No all-knowingness here, no sir!"
"I can't decide if you're praising me or making fun of me…"
"Praising. Definitely praising."
Ignoring the guy's weird insistence, as well as his usage of the term 'crackerjack', I uncrossed my arms and raised a finger.
"Let's not beat around the bush. You had sex with Angie, right?"
The smirk pretty much fell off my friend's face the moment I uttered the word 'sex', and he immediately became guarded.
"We… experimented a bit, yes, but what does that have to do with—?"
"Did you go all the way?"
He eyed me for a second, and then he answered with a subdued, "… Yes."
"How many times?"
"Just that one time, and then we did some other stuff later, but nothing like that, and what does this have to do with anything?"
"Literally everything?" He looked eminently skeptical, so I exhaled a shallow sigh and launched into my explanation. "Listen up, Josh. Your power works by taking in the bodily fluids of supernatural folks, right?"
"… I think so?"
"We use the blood for the capsules because they're easy to carry around and ingest in a hurry, but it works with all bodily fluids. Like saliva and such."
"I… yeah, I noticed that."
"Okay, now consider this: when do you exchange the most bodily fluids with a girl?"
"… While doing it?" A long beat after he said that, he hastily backpedalled. "Wait! Slow down for a sec! We used protection!"
"The act itself might be more important than whether or not you have a thin latex film between the mucous membranes."
"You are making that sound weird, you know?"
"I get that sometimes from the girls," I noted with a shrug. "The point is, your ability is all about absorbing and mimicking the abilities of the transforming supernatural folk. Chances are, by engaging in recreational reproductive activities with Angie and absorbing a large volume of her various secreted fluids during the act, you're now permanently predisposed towards being a Celestial."
"I know that you're doing that on purpose! Stop it!" After those initial complaints, Josh fell silent for a while to digest my supposition. "So you're saying that because we did that, I'm now, like, a half-Celestial, and that's why it's harder to use the other forms?"
"Most likely."
"… Would it get worse if we did it again?"
"If by 'it', you mean hot, passionate sex with your girlfriend, then yes."
"Seriously, dude. I'm going to punch you."
"Why? It's natural. You should stop being embarrassed by the mere mention of doing the horizontal gene transfer. Or doing the two-person push-ups. Taking the old one-eyed snake to the optometrist. Putting the—"
Before I could get any further, the guy actually punched me. Right in the cheek. It was more of an over-telegraphed love tap, just for show, to the point my danger sense didn't even give me a pip, but it was still uncalled for.
"I told you to cut it out! Where do you even come up with these stupid euphemisms, anyway!?"
"Judy likes them," I told him while theatrically rubbing my face. "In any case, we can't know until you two do the funny business again, but there's a non-zero chance that with enough exposure, you're going to end up as a bonafide Celestial."
It might've even been the trigger to awaken his Deus-ness and telegraph his Chosen One status, but I didn't mention that just yet, seeing that the guy was already pretty distraught over the prospect. We'll have Fred look into this with his dumb B-movie mad scientist equipment anyway, and it won't be too late to share the idea with him then.
"Aw, man… That's a problem," Josh griped and put his hand on his head. "That means I'll only have access to Celestial abilities? I'm not really good with those…"
Now, while normally I would've continued to tease the guy about how he didn't even consider the idea of just not bumping uglies for a while, I didn't want to actually upset him, so after a long beat, I directed the conversation in a completely different direction.
"Do you want me to give you some pointers?"
"You?" Noticing that the question slipped out of his mouth, Josh froze up for a moment, and then he shook his head and hurriedly amended, "On second thought, that might not be a bad idea. Should we go to the sparring ring?"
"Nah, we're fine." Waving my hand, I walked into the middle of the reception room, and after an uncertain pause, he followed me. "I'm not feeling up to a proper match, and I only want to test some theoretical stuff anyway. You learn new things, and I can confirm or debunk some of my conjectures. It's a win for everyone."
"If you say so…" Without any need for prompting, Josh tossed a pill into his mouth, and a split-second later, his casual street clothes got replaced by the Magiformer school uniform. "What are you going to teach me?"
"We might need Angie for this too, but for now, let's try something between the two of us first." Pausing, I put a hand on Cal's pommel, to make sure I had a proper mana circulation going, while simultaneously unsheathing Teeny and transforming it into its spear form, just in case that was also a requirement. A long beat later, I exhaled hard, and asked, "For the record, you know the lyrics of 'Never Gonna Give You Up', right?"
Comments
Vega
Let’s put everything else to the side first. Never going to give you up wouldn’t have been anywhere as near as popular as it was if it didn’t happen to at least be a pretty good song.
Crombell
I feel like Angie, of all people, would be super into that
carebear90
That's gold! I can't wait to see Angie witnessing that particular travesty. The sacred Celestial powers... howned over eons... outplayed by trolling. What would happen, btw, if Angie and Josh were ending up sleeping with Neige after all? Or one of those foreign Draconian girls who reportedly are interested inJosh now? Would the balance of his powers be restored? Would each form become stronger? Would he eventually turn into a super powerful Abyssal, because they're the fusion of Celestials and Dragons? So many possibilities...
