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The Simulacrum - Volume 6 Extra 5: The Rumour Mill Keeps Grinding Away
🕑 Added 2023-09-22 21:40:02 +0000 UTC(This chapter takes place after Ch.123. Major spoilers for the $1 patrons. Proceed with caution.)
The life of a Praetorian Guard wasn't glamorous. As the honour guards of a certain Second True Archon, they received plenty of respect from your average Celestial, yet at the end of the day, they were still soldiers. It was a post with great responsibility and prestige, yet as members of a brand new branch of the Celestial military, their position in the hierarchy was shaky at best, and between their duties and their daily training regimen, they had little to no time to bask in the admiration of the common folk, nor the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of their labour.
They didn't seem to mind though. The eight members (nine, counting a certain dour agent) seemed to be more than satisfied with their lot in life, to the point they appeared almost pure and naïve in the ruthless world of the Celestial Directorate, where bureaucratic undermining, inter-disciplinary rivalry, and high-school tier shit-flinging between social cliques was one and the same.
Blissfully (or maybe willfully) ignorant of all the petty and underhanded scheming around them, they dutifully train their minds and bodies in service of…
"Polemos and Deus looked pretty good together, didn't they?"
… Oh, who am I kidding? They were just as much into gossip as every other Celestial in this godforsaken pocket dimension.
"I don't know…" armour-guy responded ambivalently before putting his dumbbells down and facing tunic-man, the latter of which was currently doing pull-ups on the equipment next to him.
The training room in the Praetorian Guard's barracks was… if not exactly cutting edge, and certainly not half as well equipped as the gym of our Knights in the underground base, was still remarkably modern, with proper benches, barbells, and even a treadmill in the back. Though again, with the stupidly anachronistic track record of the Elysium, I would've been half impressed even if they just weren't using big rocks for weightlifting.
There were four of them in the room at the moment, with midriff woman using the aforementioned treadmill, while facemask-fella was doing… something on a parallel bar. It was like a hand-stand with his legs in the lotus position, and he wasn't moving a millimeter since he started. Needless to say, they were all wearing their eclectic uniforms, including armour-guy, who was training with his full gear and helmet on.
Putting the abject silliness of that aside for a moment, let's return to the previous conversation.
"They seem to be close, but isn't that to be expected?" armour-guy mused with a hand tapping against his helmet, where his chin would've been. "They are the two True Archons, aren't they? It's not strange they are acting so familiar."
"From what I've heard," facemask-fella chimed in with a dry voice, even while remaining upside-down on the parallel bars. "Polemos and Deus knew each other even before their awakening."
"You mean, back on the ancestral land?" Midriff woman joined the conversation, walking over on trembling legs and with a towel around her sweaty neck. "Wow. It's almost like the whole universe was working on reuniting them!"
"That's what I'm saying," tunic-man doubled down. "Deus is a girl now, and only a little younger than Polemos. They know each other from both their current incarnations and the previous one, and they look great together." He let go of the bar after one last pull-up and rubbed the back of his neck before adding, "It's too much for a coincidence. It must be divine providence."
"Providence for what?" armour-guy levelled a skeptical gaze at him, but it was midriff-woman who responded instead.
"Isn't it obvious? They are perfect for each other, and once they get married, for the first time in history, we could have an heir!"
"The post of the Archons is non-hereditary," facemask-fella noted, causing midriff-woman to grunt angrily.
"Stop nitpicking! You know what I meant!"
"But then what about Her Excellency the Arbiter?" armour-guy interjected. "Isn't she rumored to be Lord Polemos's lover?"
"Those are just rumors," midriff-woman dismissed him with a scoff. "Have you ever seen them being intimate with each other? I don't think so. Meanwhile, Polemos held hands with Deus in public!"
"When?" the man in the tunic blurted out with audible curiosity.
"Right after Polemos interrupted the sparring match with the Justicar."
"I think it was only Deus holding onto Polemos's sleeve," armour-guy said in a contemplative voice, but he got overruled by the other two.
"Is there a difference?"
"That's right!" midriff-woman doubled down with a determined glint in her eyes. "Just the fact that Polemos would allow her to be so close and intimate is proof enough."
"E-excuse me?" Suddenly, there was a new voice in the room, and the heated discussion quieted down as everyone focused their attention on the doorway. "I didn't mean to interrupt, but I couldn't help but overhear your discussion. May I come in?"
"Are you with the volunteer guards?"
"Yes ma'am," the newcomer nodded, and after a long beat, midriff woman gestured for her to come over.
She was a short woman with a white uniform and bronze greaves and bracers. Her face was mostly unremarkable, and her auburn hair was tied up in a simple ponytail. Once she reached the quartet, she gave them a salute and quickly explained herself.
"Please forgive my interruption, but I've heard that you were discussing the relationship with Lord Polemos and Lady Deus?"
"The possible relationship, yes," armour-guy emphasized, but then the newcomer only smiled modestly at him.
"Yes, that. There have been lots of rumors about such things amongst the volunteers, but everybody's just guessing, but… since you are always around the Second True Archon, I thought I would ask your opinion." She paused, and then after a bait she raised her hands and hastily added, "It's not just curiosity! I think the Lord Archon would be inconvenienced by false rumors, so I just… you know?"
"Want to know the truth?" facemask-fella asked stoically while remaining upside down.
"Yes, that's a good way to put it."
"The truth is that we aren't sure either," armour-guy cut in before anyone else could get a word in.
"But we still have better insight than others," tunic-man shot back with a mischievous smile. "For example, we were just discussing whether Polemos was close to his Arbiter or not."
"And we concluded that we had no way to know for sure," armour-guy tried to settle the discussion, but it didn't go anyway, especially when another new voice entered the fray.
"I don't think we can conclude that," uniform-bloke stated as he walked into the training room and swept his hair back like he was a pretty boy in a romance anime entering the scene. All he needed was the bishi-sparkles. "The relationship between our Lord and his closest subordinate is a profound one. Why, I have it on good authority that Prefect Arpachshad once found the Arbiter sleeping in the Lord Archon's bed!"
"Really?" the nameless Celestial woman responded with wide-eyed surprise, which lasted exactly until tunic-man let out a loud scoff.
"That means nothing! Our Lord works day and night for the benefit of Elysium! Some say he never even sleeps! Was he lying with the Arbiter, huh? Well? I thought not!"
"Oh? And pray tell, for just what other reason would he let her sleep in his bed?" uniform-bloke responded in a vitriolic tone, and I could practically see the sparks flying between them. "Face it. The Arbiter is a beautiful woman. There is no way the Lord Archon would completely ignore her charms while they are always together."
"Is she?" the Celestial woman asked, and everyone immediately turned disapproving glances at her. "I mean, has any of you ever seen her face?"
"I can't say I have," midriff woman responded with a shrug.
"Same here," armour-guy admitted a touch flatly.
"While I have yet to see her face, I can assure you that she's beautiful," uniform-bloke insisted with the utmost sincerity. "She's a fit young woman with a perfectly proportioned body. There is no way her face would be any less perfect."
"Here we go again with your baseless speculation." Midriff woman scoffed and turned to the newcomer. "Don't listen to this guy. He has a screw loose, and ever since the Arbiter beat him up, he's been spouting nonsense like that."
"It's not nonsense," the subject of the accusation scoffed back and crossed his arms. "I pride myself on my observation skills, and I tell you, she's special. From her power and flawless technique to her body proportions and movements. No wonder the Lord Archon would trust his life to her!"
"But that still doesn't mean that they are lovers," armour-guy insisted, and midriff woman nodded.
"Of course not. It's evident that Lord Polemos and Lady Deus are meant for each other, and there's no space for her between them."
"Haven't we been over this already?"
"Excuse me?" the nameless Celestial raised her hand and waited for everyone to look at her. "What about the Justicar?"
"What about him?" armour-guy responded with a frown.
"Wasn't he also really close with Lord Polemos?"
"Nah, no way!" Uniform-bloke let out a throaty guffaw and waved his hand in front of his face like he was chasing a fly. "There's no way the Lord Archon would be interested in him!"
"That's not what I meant," the Celestial woman backpedalled, but it was too late.
"They did seem pretty close, didn't they?" Midriff woman squinted and crossed her arms. "The Lord Archon was patting him on the back and everything."
"Oh, it must be that!" Uniform bloke first dropped his right fist into his left palm, and then immediately turned that into a flamboyant finger-snap. "You know how the Arbiter is reincarnated along with Lord Polemos?"
"It's rumored that she is reincarnated, yes," armour-guy corrected him, but it didn't take.
"If that's the case, then it would make sense that the Justicar also reincarnated with Lady Deus! Then that would mean they all knew each other from the distant past, wouldn't it?"
"It is logical," facemask fellow noted while moving his legs around like a reverse ballet dancer.
"Oh, but if that's the case, then it would also explain why Lady Deus and her Justicar are so close," the nameless guard interjected, causing a bit of turmoil with her words.
"Now that you mention it, they seemed even more intimate than Deus and Polemos," tunic man noted with a frown that said he couldn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth. "But that could be just a misunderstanding? Just like that thing with the Arbiter in the Lord Archon's bed, right?"
"Oh, now you're looking at me for support," armour-guy griped, but before he could say anything else, the man in the fancy uniform clapped.
"A misunderstanding? I think not! Don't you remember how Deus cheered for her Justicar on the training field? Such pure and innocent affection, just as you would expect from our Venerated Great Father." He paused, and then muttered, "By the way, should we change that to 'Mother'?"
"Let the Cult of Deus sort that out," midriff-woman scoffed with a disinterested gesture. "It's their job. I'm more interested in that Justicar myself."
"Are you now?" Facemask fellow raised a single brow while the rest of his face remained perfectly still, an odd feat considering by this point he was balancing on a single hand and was doing a weird yoga pose mid-air.
"Not that way!" she denied vehemently and then faced armour-guy. "You think he's weird too, right?"
"It is not my place to question the somatophylakes of our Archons, but I do agree that the Justicar gave a very different impression compared to the Arbiter."
"How so?" the outsider woman chimed in, seemingly enthralled by the discussion. "Was it something about his identity? Or his abilities?"
"We know nothing of his identity, so it wasn't that," armour-guy scoffed, only to then fall silent and tap at the chin of his helmet again. "As for his abilities…"
"He wasn't nearly as skilled as Her Excellency the Arbiter," uniform-bloke noted with overacted disinterest. "Her grace, her effortless form, and her efficient style lacking any unnecessary flourish were nowhere to be found in his fights."
For a moment, I had a hard time believing we were talking about the same person, but before I could write that up to this guy just being Mountain Girl's fanboy, he received a unanimous agreement.
"Indeed," tunic-man crossed his arms and nodded knowingly. "The Arbiter could face us without ever revealing her wings or calling upon the Harmonics of the Heart. In that sense, she was following the teachings of Polemos perfectly."
"Compared to her, the Justicar was much more…" Midriff woman struggled to find the right word, and ultimately settled on, "… unrefined. It was as if he wasn't used to his powers yet, and he was unstable the whole time. He was always trying to grapple with me, too. Facing him was almost like fighting one of the dragonbloods."
"He did seem to get stronger with time though," armour-guy pointed out with a thoughtful frown partially hidden by his helmet. "And that locus blade he summoned at the end was dangerous. At the time, I didn't understand why the Lord Archon interrupted our match, but the more I recall the moment, the more I think it was for the better."
"You think you couldn't have stopped it?"
Tunic-man's question made the big guy ponder for a moment, and then he lightly shook his head.
"I'm not sure. At the time, I felt like I could, but there had to be a reason why the Lord Archon personally intervened. There must have been more to it than meets the eye."
"Maybe, but we still aren't any closer to the man's identity," midriff-woman said as he picked up a dumbbell and started casually pumping it.
"I don't think it's something we can reason out," facemask-fella pointed out, and the rest nodded in agreement.
"The only thing we know for sure is that he's at least a Seraphim," tunic-man noted, and that turned all eyes to him. "What? Didn't you see his wings?"
"I only saw four wings," armour-guy stated, and his uniformed colleague shook his head.
"No-no. It was definitely six. The last pair was a little hard to see, but they were there. Didn't anyone else see it?"
"I don't know. Maybe." Uniform-bloke continued to ponder, but then his eyes lit up. "Wait a moment! Maybe that's what this is all about!"
"What's what what is all about?" midriff-woman blurted out, obviously without much thought, and he faced her with a cocky grin.
"I just figured out what happened. Do you remember how the Arbiter reincarnated with Polemos?"
"No matter how much you insist, it's still just a baseless rumor."
Armour-guy was summarily ignored as uniform-bloke let out a chuckle and continued unabated.
"I've heard that Lord Polemos had awakened a long time ago, but he didn't know who he truly was until he returned to Elysium and claimed his Spear of Destiny. That means that Her Excellency the Arbiter must have also awakened earlier and so she was able to master her powers. Deus just awakened the other day, so if the Justicar is just like the Arbiter, then it means that he awakened alongside her, and so he must not have full control over his power yet! It all makes perfect sense."
"It's a whole lot of baseless conjecture, that's what it is," armour-guy grumbled.
"Is that so? And do you have a better alternative?"
"I do not need one, for the business of the Archons is theirs and theirs alone."
"What nonsense!" midriff-woman exclaimed and switched the dumbbell to her other hand. "Lord Polemos and Lady Deus uniting and wedlock and producing an heir is in the best interest of all Celestialkind!"
"The position of the Archons is still not hereditary."
"And I told you that you know what I mean, so stop nitpicking!"
Like that, the argument continued for quite a while, going in circles before occasionally gaining another weirdly speculative layer, and then starting the whole merry-go-round routine from the beginning. These people weren't any better than the rest of the Elysium, but on the bright side, they weren't worse either, so I couldn't exactly single them out for their meaningless gossip.
What I could've questioned, however, was how a room filled with professional guards, whose duty was to be ever-vigilant, could completely miss the moment the nameless Celestial guard left their company. Not that I would, of course, as I didn't want them to know I was keeping an eye on them, but seeing her slip away gave me a sense of foreboding I wouldn't fully grasp until a few days later…
Comments
carebear90
Hmm... is she part of Savir's new 'plan'? Or perhaps an independent actor? She seems to have some kind of agenda, though. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the main origin point for most of the rumours.
Crombell
I like armour guy, he seems generally reasonable
