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The Simulacrum - Chapter 126 - Part 1
🕑 Added 2023-10-13 15:36:52 +0000 UTC"No, Leo. No. Arson is bad."
Suppressing the urge to roll my eyes, I forced a smile onto my face.
"It's just a joke, princess. A joke."
For emphasis, I tried to hug her, but she held me back and continued to frown at me.
"I'm serious! I know she got you this time, but that doesn't mean you're justified to burn down anything in response."
"She didn't get me!" I protested, maybe a bit too vehemently. "She just threatened to annoy me. It doesn't take a psychology degree to recognize that I hate annoying things! Everyone does!"
"That's not it," my other girlfriend sitting on the bed cut in, looking up from her notes for the first time since I came to the princess's room in the morning to vent a little. "I'm more worried by how she accurately deduced your limits and pushed you just enough without overstepping the line." She paused, and her brows moved imperceptibly into something vaguely resembling a frown. "I don't like that she knows you so well."
"Savir apparently knew me from before my amnesia, so I guess that gives her a leg up, but I don't think she knows me that well," I argued back. In the meantime, the princess finally gave up and let me hug her, and it made me feel a little better. "Remember the second half of the conversation I told you about? She completely misread that."
"It's still annoying," my dear assistant began to sulk. "Maybe I should dust off my old Chief Observation Diary again."
"Please don't do that."/"What's that?"
Elly and I spoke at the same time, so I quickly moved the conversation along before Judy had the chance to reveal some of my shameful past from those first few confused weeks in the Simulacrum.
"A-ny-way. The point is that I'm not going to burn down any archives unless I absolutely have to. Can we move on to the main topic?"
Judy looked reluctant, but when Elly nodded, she soon followed suit.
"You're officially coming home tomorrow, right?"
"That's the plan," I answered curtly, because the princess suddenly detached herself from me and skipped over to Judy's side.
"That means you're going home too?" she cooed and trapped my other girlfriend in a hug. "I'll miss you!"
"We are still going to meet every single day," my dear assistant stated in a deadpan voice made a bit strained by the way the princess was robbing her cheek against hers.
"But it's just not the same! My bed is going to feel so empty!"
Smiling, I couldn't help but note, "While this whole ordeal was pretty annoying, I'm glad it had some positive effects too. You two are getting along even better than before, aren't you?"
"It's just your imagination, Chief," Judy grumbled, and the girl by her side let out a tinkling giggle in response.
"Look, Leo! Look! Judy is being tsundere!"
"No, I'm not," my dear assistant continued to grumble as she used her free hand to push her away. "And it's precisely because you are acting like this that we still have those rumors about us."
"Hehe. Sorry about that," the princess apologized with a goofy smile, though she didn't sound apologetic in the slightest.
Sighing, Judy turned to me again and asked, "What's the plan?"
"For our return?" She nodded, so I rubbed the bridge of my nose to collect my thoughts. "Tomorrow's going to be a bit hectic, but before anything else, I'll bring the Praetorian Guards over in the morning and have them get familiar with the neighbourhood."
"Where are they going to stay?" Elly inquired, and then immediately raised a palm. "Just so you know, with all the delegates from the other families and the new trainees of the Ordo Draconis, we are running out of guest rooms here."
"Duly noted. The underground base is off-limits too, so I guess I'll buy them a house to stay at or something."
"Actually," Judy cut in, picking up her phone again. After some furious poking, she turned the screen to me.
"What is that graph about?"
"Your finances," she told me flatly and pulled the device back for some more tapping. "I looked into it last night. Chief, you are dangerously close to going into the red."
"Right!" Elly backed her up and shook her finger at me. "We already have a lot of expenses. The maintenance cost of the bases, food bills, wages, and now this new project of yours is also burning money like crazy!"
"It's necessary though," I pointed out, and the girls shared a look with each other.
"Listen, Chief. While the dividends you get from your investment into Ouroboros Music are covering most of the expenses, if you don't do something, your account is going to bottom out in three months."
"At best," Elly added.
Have I been taking money for granted for too long, I wondered as I rubbed my chin. While dealing with all the supernatural malarkey of the last couple of weeks, I admittedly didn't pay any attention to my finances.
"Any advice?"
"Demand money from the Celestials."/"Fleece the Magi!"
I hastily raised my palms.
"One at a time, girls. One at a time."
My girlfriends looked each other in the eye, and through some strange and esoteric means of communication I couldn't possibly understand, they decided to let Judy speak first.
"You are still Polemos. With your authority, you should demand some funding from the Celestial Directorate."
With my hands automatically returning to the patented 'elbow in one hand, the other thoughtfully pinching the chin' position, I exhaled a shallow hum.
"Right. I could claim expenses to ensure Angie's happy school life, and—"
"Chief, don't overthink it. You're literally their boss. Just tell them you need money, and let them sort it out."
That prompted another hum from me, and seeing that neither of us was saying anything more, Elly raised her hand.
"My turn! You should make a bunch of those enchanted plaques again, and sell them! We could even put together another auction!"
"Isn't that too soon?"
"Not at all! The Eastern Clans love their auctions! They would jump to the opportunity, and you not only have a whole lot of arch-mages on the island, but all their assistant and support staff too! That's a lot of customers! Just put out a dozen of those plaques or so, and watch the money streaming in!"
"Wouldn't that devalue them though?"
"It will, but by then, you'll be rich, so it doesn't matter."
"That's very vulture capitalistic of you," Judy noted in her usual deadpan tone, and the princess let out an embarrassed giggle.
"Thanks."
"I'm not entirely sure that was a compliment, but let's run with that," I noted and redoubled my chin-pinching efforts. "Once things normalize a little, I'll tell Galatea to prepare a couple dozen base plates. She likes to gratify her artistic urges through those things anyway, so she probably wouldn't mind."
"One thing I would like to add," Judy raised her voice and showed the previous graph off to me again, "is that we only need the extra funds in the short term. Von Fraenir assured me that by the end of spring at the latest, the Draconic Federation will take over the overheads of the Ordo Draconis, including the expenses associated with the underground base. At that point, you'll only have to pay the salaries of the research division and the Fauns. The ninjas are already paid by the Kage clan, while the Knights and the Squires will be taken care of by the Ordo Draconis."
"You'll get paid too, because you're the leader!" Elly chimed in, but then frowned and added, "At least, unless being this Celestial Archon constitutes a conflict of interest, but I'm sure we'll find some loophole by the time the budget gets finalized! Dad hasn't figured out the taxation situation yet though, but it'll work out! For sure! We have lots of accountants for things like this!"
Sighing, I let my arms down and lamented, "And now we even have to consider taxes. Damn. Being the designated head of so many organizations involves way too much accounting for my liking."
"You don't have to worry about that!" the princess exclaimed and extended her arms, presenting my other girlfriend to me like an old-timey show host. "Judy's a born accountant! Grandpa Sebastian said so himself, and he even let her help with the family finance reports! He never let anyone else touch those, not even Dad!"
"He only asked me to double-check the numbers once," my dear assistant grumbled, not entirely enthused by the attention.
"And that's amazing! Right, Leo?"
While Judy still looked a bit peeved, it was a rare opportunity for positive reinforcement, so I gave her a thumbs up.
"Attagirl, Dormouse."
"Please, stop," Judy continued to grumble, but the ever-so-slight flushing of her cheeks didn't escape my notice. The same was true for Elly, and she hugged her again, much to her outward annoyance. Ignoring the princess clinging to her, she maintained a deadpan expression as she looked me in the eye and added, in a bit of a non-sequitur. "I forgot to mention, but there's a petition to give a name to the underground base."
"Erm…"
Unable to form a response right away, I only blinked in confusion, so she continued with, "As of now, the name 'Haven' is in the lead, closely followed by 'Avalon', 'New Camelot', and 'Home Base One', but everyone is waiting for you to cast your vote before the final tally."
"Well, I admit that calling it 'the underground base' all the time is getting a bit annoying, but I'm not sure about either of those options. I'll have to think about it."
"You do that," Judy nodded and put the phone down. "I believe we were talking about what to do with the Celestial guards."
That was about as blatant an attempt to move on from the whole accounting topic as I've ever seen her make, and while I was tempted to tease her a bit, this was not the right time for that.
"Yeah, about that. Since just buying a house might be a bit too much, we might have to improvise. I'm planning to personally introduce them to Lord Grandpa, just to avoid any misunderstandings, so while I'm at it, I'll ask him if he could provide housing for them. That way, the guards get a roof over their heads, and the School will have them where they can see them, and that should help their peace of mind. Win-win."
"I'm not sure they'll see it that way, but it's a plan."
"I'll also ask Dad," Elly suddenly proposed, drawing our attention to her. "We don't have space in the mansion, but some of the other families also have properties in Timaeus. Maybe we could ask them to rent out a few rooms? As a back-up plan?"
"Good idea, princess."
She smiled modestly at me, but her eyes remained expectant. At last, I noticed that she was sneaking glances at my right hand, so I gave her a thumbs up too, at which point her mood brightened even more. Who said rich girls were high-maintenance, anyway?
"In conclusion," Judy spoke up again, sounding rather serious. "Everyone is returning to their own homes, including you."
"That's the plan, yes."
"So you're going to live under the same roof with Tajana Sukkal."
She pointedly used her full name, but her expression remained neutral, so it was hard to tell what her opinion was on the matter. That said, considering her track record, she probably wasn't too happy about it.
"Snowy wants to keep her around. She wants to bring her over to her side, and I already gave her my blessing." I waited for her to respond, but she only stared at me. "Isn't this the part where you tell me not to seduce her and then say something about the anti-harem countermeasures?"
"I'm not worried about that," she stated, though she didn't sound convincing at all. "Granted, you already have a track record of accidentally seducing people. Including her, as Bel."
"But she doesn't know that," I pointed out in a hurry, and she nodded along.
"And that's why I'm telling you to keep it that way. I sincerely doubt the Angie route is going to conclude with them just returning home. We have a climax to prepare for, and the last thing we need is for you to get entangled in a multi-identity love-dodecahedron scenario on top of that."
"Oh, please, Dormouse! Like that would happen."
I tried to laugh her off, but she remained steadfast. Not only that, Elly was in agreement with her too.
"We didn't think you would get taken to the Elysium to become the leader of the Celestials either, and look how things ended up!"
"To be fair, it wasn't exactly something we could prepare for," I noted with just a hint of trepidation. "The whole thing kind of caught me off-guard."
"And then you willingly played along, because you were looking for an opportunity to gather information," Judy piled on, and I threw my hands into the air.
"Okay. Fine. I admit the situation ending up the way it did was, at least partially, on me. What can I do about it at this point?"
"Don't fall into the same hole again," Judy emphasized, her expression deadly serious.
"Exactly!" Elly backed her up and pointed a finger at me, "You are just about to shed the Polemos identity and finally come home, so no matter what happens, you are not allowed to do something like that again!"
"Such as deciding to play around with Tajana Sukkal as Bel to gather intel, take her to the Abyss, and then get stuck there for weeks on end because of the multi-gambit pileup. Again."
"That's… very specific," I muttered in a bit of a daze. "You two thought about this a lot, didn't you?"
"Well… it issomething you would do," Elly pointed out.
"Face it, Chief. We know how you think and justify things to yourself. All we are asking is for you not to jump into anything like that again, and just stay within arm's reach."
The way they earnestly stared at me made me feel like the bad guy, so I forcefully cleared my throat.
"Oh, fine. I promise I won't get into any shenanigans that would take me out of town anymore. Not that I was planning to, anyway, but now I'll make extra sure it won't happen."
"Good!" Elly beamed at me, and this time I was the one on the receiving end of a thumbs-up.
"Anything else in urgent need of discussing?" I asked and glanced at the fancy grandfather clock on the far wall, wedged between a dresser holding about a third of the princess's stuffed animal collection and a huge autographed and framed group photo of her favourite metal band with her in the middle. Her room was eclectic as always, but at this point, it would've weirded me out if it was changed in any way.
"Nothing urgent," Judy said, putting extra emphasis on the last words, and the princess' face lit up.
"You know what that means!" she exclaimed and put one arm around Judy's shoulder while holding the other out to invite me in. "Cuddle time!"
This time, I unsubtly pointed at the same clock and said, "Aren't you guys going to be late for school?"
"Don't sweat the small details, Chief," my dear assistant told me, contrary to my expectations, and she put her phone away and held out a hand for me too. "Cuddling is a free action."
"In tabletop games? Maybe, but I'm not even sure about that," I wondered, but despite my best efforts to sound reasonable, the princess kept waving her arm at me. "You know that after tomorrow, we can do this any time we want, right?"
"That's what makes this special!" she proclaimed and pulled Judy even closer. "This is going to be our last secret cuddle! That's the best kind of cuddle!"
By the looks of it, she wasn't going to take no for an answer, and Judy was also unusually into the idea, so I had no choice but to give up and walk over to them. When I did, they grabbed my hands, and pulled me onto the bed. All three of us fell over, and I landed on top of them. They didn't seem to mind though. If anything, it only made Elly laugh even more.
Getting caught up in their hug, with all three of us pressed together like that, I couldn't help but say, "Remember girls: secret cuddle. We don't have time for anything more."
"Don't worry, Chief. We aren't unreasonable," Judy told me even as she was giving me a peck on my cheek. "We'll have the whole weekend for that."
"The whooole weekend!" the princess echoed her between giggles, and as much as I was starting to miss the more, so to say, intimate parts of our relationship as of late…
"Erm… Should I be worried?"
They didn't answer, but the fact that even Judy was visibly smiling meant I would be most likely forced to spend my first few days back in Timaeus joined at the hips with my neglected girlfriends, and probably in a very literal sense of the word too. Oh, the crosses I had to bear, am I right?
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Jacob Gondringer
Tftc
Egathentale
Hello, Dear Readers. This was a tiresome week, and tomorrow is promising to be pretty bad too, but after that, our heating for winter will be more or less sorted out. So, yay. As far as the story is concerned, we're returning to the usual schedule. Also, as I mentioned in a comment under the last chapter, the next couple of chappies are going to be a bit of a break from Elysium and the Celestials, and more easygoing slice-of-lifey stuff. In any case, I hope you stay safe and healthy in these troubled times, and till Monday, I wish you a very nice weekend. Ciao!
