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The Simulacrum - Chapter 131 - Part 1
🕑 Added 2023-12-08 16:40:12 +0000 UTCThe class rep and Mike arrived at my doorstep exactly at five in the afternoon. Exactly as expected, I would say, and it gave me the perfect opportunity to indulge in an old trick. As such, I waited on the other side of the entrance of the house, kept an eye on them with Far Sight, and just when Ammy was about to reach for the doorbell, I threw the door open with a smile as wide as my face could go.
"Welcome!"
The two of them jolted in unison, but after the first surprise, the class rep let her hand down and gave me a withering look.
"Could you please not dance on my nerves? I'm anxious enough already."
"There's no need to be though," I pointed out and ushered them inside. "Oh, by the way, don't take off your shoes. We'll head out right away."
"O-Okay," Mike muttered and did his best to wipe his feet on the doormat.
Meanwhile, Ammy took off her beanie and scarf, closely followed by her fogged-up glasses. She had makeup on her face, and even though her hairdo was always the same, it somehow still looked primmer and more proper than usual. Despite wearing a winter cap until a few seconds ago. As usual, the Simulacrum's dogged obsession with keeping the important people's hairstyles attractive regardless of the circumstances never ceased to amaze me. Well, except maybe for Josh, but he was the protagonist, so he had a lot of leeway with the whole spiky-bed-hair-thing aesthetic.
Anyhow, I herded the two of them into the living room, where Ammy came to an abrupt halt upon noticing the woman on the couch.
"Oh? Do we have guests?" Tajana spoke up without turning around, her eyes glued to the newest episode of her favourite series. She branched out as of late, moving on from classic, overdramatic soap operas to newfangled, overdramatic Korean historical dramas instead.
"Is she the 'guest' you told me about?"
Ammy's whispered question was aimed at Michael, and he belatedly nodded.
"Ah, yes. She's… a little odd, but mostly harmless," Mike whispered back, and the class rep dramatically put her still partially fogged-up glasses back on before scrunching up her nose.
"There's no such thing as a 'mostly harmless' Abyssal Seducer."
"Pardon?" I cut in with a frown of my own, and it took her a surprisingly long time to realize what I meant.
"Neige is different," she doubled down. "She's a statistical anomaly. The chances of two innocuous Seducers is—"
"Hush! They are just getting to the good part!" Tajana hissed on the couch and added more volume to the TV before stuffing her mouth full of popcorn.
For the record, on the screen, a pair of Asian men dressed in long traditional robes were having a rather mild argument I couldn't understand, because it was a subtitled show. However, after staring at the back of her black-and-pink head for a while, the class rep let out a defeated sigh.
"Fine. Maybe it isn't a statistical impossibility, but you still shouldn't get close to her."
Once again, that was aimed at Mike, and the guy awkwardly scratched his cheek in response. As much as it would've been amusing to see just what kind of couple-antics these two were up to, my timetable was full for the rest of the day, so I had no intention of wasting it by standing around like this.
"Come on, let's not keep your family waiting."
Upon hearing that, Mike audibly gulped.
"W-Wait. Hold on for a moment! I have to prepare myself!"
"Don't be a baby," I chided him and pushed the couple towards the teleport closet, then turned to the spymaster lounging on the couch. "Once the girls get home, tell them I'll be late, and that they can have dinner without me."
"Sure, sure. Have fun."
She waved a lazy hand over her head without looking away from the television, and that was it. She was feeling at home as of late, wasn't she? That aside, I pushed Mike and Ammy into the teleport closet and closed the door behind us.
"Is this the teleport circle I've heard so much about?" Mike wondered as he looked at the softly glowing patterns under his feet.
"It's a fake," Ammy stated matter-of-factly, and this time, I didn't try to deny her, and simply wrapped a pair of phantom limbs around them.
"We're going to head directly to the Elysium. I recommend you close your eyes to avoid nausea and other side effects." I waited for them to follow my instructions, and then cheekily added, "Estimated time of arrival is… right now."
Just like that, we were standing inside an unfamiliar room. It was part of one of the suites on the higher floors of the usual tower. Since I no longer had Mountain Girl, Jaakobah, or the Praetorian Guards to serve as my anchors, I had to specifically instruct Kane to prepare a room and then stay nearby.
It was an unfamiliar chamber, though once again, the layout was noticeably similar to the bedroom of the suite I used while I was staying here, including the huge windows covering much of the outer wall overlooking the late afternoon vista of the Elysium. While it hadn't changed much since the last time I saw it, Angie's influence could already be felt by the drastically increased air traffic above the landscape.
"Are we really…?" Mike whispered, but when he tentatively opened one of his eyes, his words turned into an amazed "Whoooa!"
"Hm?" The class rep followed his example and sucked in an astonished breath when she looked through the window as well.
For now, I let them drink in the scenery and stepped away from them, if only so that my Leoformer's activation wouldn't bother them. After successfully switching over to my Polemos outfit, I readjusted the headpiece and rolled my shoulders. It's only been a couple of days, but the toga/armour/whatever combination was already starting to feel alien again.
While I wondered whether that was a good thing or not, Mike noticed my transformation, and he looked at me with a mixture of fright and curiosity. I didn't pay him any attention, and instead, I headed towards the nearby door. As usual, it was activated by Celestial harmonic magic, but it was nothing my phantom limbs couldn't solve, and soon it slid into the wall, revealing a living room with a bunch of nervous people sitting in a circle around a single coffee table.
"Lord Archon." Kane reacted first, as expected, and hastily jumped to his feet to salute me. He was dressed in his finest red uniform, with all the various filigrees and medals strapped on his chest. I last saw him wearing it during the ill-fated parade ending with the Colossus encounter, and it told me that he definitely wanted to look good (and/or imposing) in front of his estranged kid and his girlfriend.
Speaking of which, the two of them also approached the door, but dared not to step through until I gave them the green light. Either that, or they were intimidated by the unfamiliar faces on the other side.
"At ease, Primus," I spoke softly and lazily waved a hand in his direction. "This is a family reunion. There is no need for formalities."
"As you command," Kane responded stiffly and tried his best to relax his posture. He failed.
In the meantime, a middle-aged woman, with the same sandy-blonde hair as her husband and son, also rose from her seat. She was wearing one of the more modern outfits, a dress with only mild stylistic hints towards the folds of a toga, and she gave me a deferential bow. As if time only just resumed for them, the rest of the extended family (or so I judged from the similar features) also did their best to hastily greet me, but I only humoured them as far as a shallow nod before gesturing for the pair behind me to come forth.
"Come, you two. This occasion is all about you; for how long are you going to let me have all the limelight."
Mike let out a sheepish chuckle, while the class rep nervously clutched his elbow, and they finally entered the living room.
"H-Hello? Um… Father? Mother?"
There was a moment of a tense-ish silence in the air for a moment, but then Kane's wife suddenly leapt forward and, before the hapless guy could even reach, caught him in a hug, much to his and the class rep's surprise. That was an unexpectedly wholesome beginning for the occasion, so I involuntarily smiled. Then I realized that it wasn't appropriate for my Polemos persona, so I hastily cleared my throat.
"I shall leave you to your reunion then."
Saying so, I was about to return to the bedroom to Phase away, but Ammy called after me.
"W-Wait! Where are you going?"
"Home," I answered blandly. "I'm a busy man, you know, and I don't want to be a…" I paused to count the heads in the room. "… twelfth wheel."
Needless to say, she wasn't very satisfied with my response, so I subtly rolled my eyes and added.
"There's no need for you to worry. I brought you here, so you are state guests. Nothing will happen to you, so just mingle with the family."
Still unsatisfied, she wanted to argue but was silenced when Kane abruptly stepped up to me and gestured to get my attention.
"Lord Archon. Before you leave, I have something to report."
Hesitantly, I gestured for him to follow, and then sent a reassuring smile to Ammy, who was getting lost in the tumult of the curious family members gathering around them. At last, Kane and I returned to the bedroom, and I closed the door behind us with another swipe of my phantom limb.
"Since you are postponing your reunion with your son over this, I presume your report is of great importance."
"Certainly," he answered with a solemn expression and exhaled a long breath. "As Lord Polemos commanded, I have entrusted my men with the task to look into the circumstances of Her Grace Deus's birth and parentage."
"Oh. Did you find a solid lead already?"
"That is precisely the issue I have to report on. We didn't. Contrary, we have discovered multiple, contradictory records."
"… Is that common?"
"No, it's not," he stated sounding sourer than lemon juice. "I suspect someone had manipulated the record to hide Her Grace's relations from prying eyes, and they have done so recently."
"Savir?" I guessed.
"I'm almost certain it's as you deduced."
Humming, I tapped on my chin and considered why she would do something like that. Then, I remembered that I was busy, and I had people I could command to think for me, so I levelled a serious gaze upon the man in front of me.
"Keep looking, but also try to figure out why Savir would go through the trouble."
"With all due respect, Lord Archon," Kane responded less than enthusiastically. "I am the Primus of the Seraphic Safeguard, not a member of the Celestial Intelligence Network. My resources are limited."
"Then reach out to Moose… I mean, our new clandestine intelligence officer." I paused, internally debating whether I should reveal his identity, but ultimately decided otherwise. "I'm sure Michael already told you about him. I recently gave him a list of all the trustworthy directors, vice-directors, and other personnel I found within the Directorate. Combined with the CIN's operatives outside the Elysium, I'm sure you'll find a lead sooner or later."
"And what if we're discovered?"
"Just use my name," I told him flatly. "Unless it's Savir herself who confronts you, it should be enough to get away with anything short of murder." Pausing, I hastily added, "But if possible, don't let it come to that. Especially not to murder."
"As you command," Kane responded dutifully, followed by a salute.
"Is there anything else?" He shook his head, so I gestured towards the door. "Then shoo. Your son is waiting for you. I'll come and pick them up in the evening, so use your time wisely."
He gave me an appreciative nod and left the room, if a little reluctantly. Chances are, he was feeling just as uncertain about how to approach his son in the flesh as Mike was about the other way around, but I was sure they would work something out. In the meantime, I closed the door with another swipe of my Phantom Limb, undid my Polemos disguise, and then immediately Phased into the underground base's teleport closet.
I entered the main hall by exhaling a heavy breath and headed to the workshop. On the way, I said hello to the Knights in the training ground, observed Pip holding something akin to a presentation about interception tactics in the briefing area, and even caught a glance of Brang in the armoury, accompanied by Ichiko and Odango Girl of all people. Since the tiny dragon was here, I had a hunch that either of the Feilong brothers also had to be around, but I couldn't see them in the main hall, and I wasn't curious enough to Far Glance at them.
Like that, I soon reached the main workshop. After the repeated expansions, we had about six of them at this point, but this particular workshop was the one Fred and Galatea used the most, and in this particular case, I was looking for the latter.
"Grandmaster?" the androidess greeted me at once when I arrived, and to my surprise, I found her in the company of another familiar face.
"Hi, Leonard!" Sahi greeted me with an upbeat grin, and I couldn't help but tilt my head to the side as I took a better look at her.
Unlike her usual appearance, she was wearing a long leather smock I had previously seen on the Fauns, and therefore about five sizes too big for her, and she had an upturned welder's mask on her head and an angle-grinder in one of her floating magical hand constructs. The look was completed by a pair of work gloves and an inexplicable stain of grease or soot smeared across her left cheek. I was pretty sure all of that was characteristic of a specific archetype, but I had a hard time remembering the exact term.
"Maybe 'wrench wench'?" I muttered, but not quietly enough, and the brown girl gave me a disapproving scowl.
"Like, is that an insult or a compliment?"
"Neither, just an observation," I told her with a shrug. "What are you doing?"
"Just some, like, mechanical engineering and stuff?" she answered with a cheeky smirk.
"Team Member Sahi is customizing a load-bearing component of the nutrition tank," Galatea explained in her stead and handed me a box full of nicely designed metal plaques. "My prediction algorithms indicate that Grandmaster is here to complete the configuration of these items."
"And you would be right," I confirmed and took the box from her before setting it down onto a nearby workbench. "Thanks."
"According to my system log, this constitutes twenty-seven-point-two favors done for Grandmaster."
"Point two?" Sahi butted in, and I shook my head.
"Don't encourage her. Anyhow, I'm sure you didn't tell me that for no reason."
The purple-haired android nodded and showed me her hands.
"After cross-referencing my internal database, as well as multiple inquiries towards the staff members, there is a ninety-seven-point-seven percent consensus saying that I have been, using informal terminology, a 'good girl'."
"And?"
"Good girls deserve rewards," she declared without a hint of shame, and I rolled my eyes.
"Fine. What do you want this time? A new fish tank? Or a terrarium for turtles?"
To my surprise, she shook her head, and pushed her hands forward, practically into my face.
"I request the reinstallation of my plasma disintegrator system."
"… No."
"Ninety-seven-point-seven percent consensus," she emphasized and shook her hands in front of my nose.
"The answer is still no. You don't need them."
"Grandmaster cannot know that for sure. My internal databanks indicate that there are at least seventy-two different scenarios in which plasma disintegrators could prove useful in daily life."
"Such as?"
"… Getting rid of spiderwebs?"
I gave her the flattest look that ever flatted in the history of flatness, and uttered a simple, "No."
"But Grandmaster, if only you listened to the remaining seventy-one scenarios, you would understand that, statistically speaking—"
"I'm busy right now, send them over in an e-mail, and I'll give them a read."
"Understood."
With that, Galatea left the workshop, and I let out a relieved breath.
"Like, why are you so against her having those plasma whatsits?" the brown girl asked, apparently settling down by my side and using the other end of the same workbench.
"I have some traumatic memories about them, and even without that, she seriously doesn't need them. They are just too much of a liability."
"But, like, doesn't everyone else have all kinds of totally wicked destructive powers too?" As if to demonstrate, she used two magical floaty hands to lift the whole workbench. "Like, if I wanted to, I could totally wreck this place, you know?"
"Yes, I know," I told her, and then dispelled her hands, making the workbench drop back down onto the ground with a loud clamour. "But I trust you that you know better than to do something silly like that."
"Hey! Don't just, like, disrupt someone else's spell! It's totally rude!" Sahi fumed, but her expression took a one-eighty-degree turn the moment I took out one of the metal plaques from the cardboard box. "Like, what are those, anyway?"
"There's going to be another Draconian auction soon, and I want to drum up some emergency funds with these."
"Ah? Like, are you going to fleecy the old dweebs of the Assembly?"
"Maybe," I told her ambivalently as I laid out the plaques one by one. "But are you sure you want to call them that? Weren't you one of them until recently?"
"Hey! I totally wasn't a dweeb, like, ever! I let you know, I was, always a choice gal!"
"Sure, sure…" I muttered and began to check the enchantments on the plaques. I had already finished installing them a couple of nights ago, but then Galatea put on some finishing touches and polished them a bit, so I was just giving them one last check before putting my signature on their back and sending them over to Naoren.
However, before I could get started, I was surprised by a question coming from the rejuvenated girl from my right.
"Hey, Leonard? Like, Valentine's is just around the corner, right?"
"… Yes," I answered, just a touch apprehensively.
"And you have, like, two gals, right? And you are doing pretty well with them, so, like, you're totally gnarly when it comes to dating and romance, right?"
"… Where is all of this coming from?"
"Oh, you know? Like, I'm just trying to ask for advice?" She flashed a smile that I was sure she thought was innocent. "About, like, good dating spots and the like?"
"You want to go on a date," I stated in a deadpan voice, and she nodded without any apprehension… and then shook her head the same way.
"It's, like, complicated! You know, I want to invite Paz, and like, have a cow, but without telling him it was a date, and then only reveal to him that it was a Valentine's Day's date at, like, the very end, and it's going to be totally wicked funny!"
"You mean Pascal, right?" I asked back, and she gave me a look that said I was stating the obvious. "Isn't he a bit too young for you?"
"Like, when did something like that ever bother you?" She let out a huff, and pointed at me, with her floaty magic hand holding the angle-grinder mimicking the motion. "I'm totally young both in body and heart, you know? And, like, Paz is very mature for his age, and totally cool to be around. Like, you wouldn't think so, but when it's only the two of us, he's so chill, and it's not like he's my boy toy or anything, and…"
"Fine, fine, whatever," I cut her short with an exasperated groan. "Just go on a movie date, or something. There's a decent romantic comedy in the cinemas at the moment, and you can reserve your seats ahead of time either online, or on the phone. Then after that, you can have dinner in the evening near the pier. Pascal strikes me as the no-nonsense type, so I recommend the family diner at the south end of Fisherman's Avenue. It's a nice place, and the shore is just a couple of minutes away on foot, so you can have a scenic walk there to work off the calories." Pausing, I wrote my name onto the first plaque and finished with, "There. Are you happy?"
"… Wow, Leonard. Wow! You really are totally good at this dating thing, aren't you?"
"No, I just already did my research, and—"
"Ue-sama!"
Just as I was about to explain myself, I was interrupted by a pair of tiny feet scurrying over to our side. Looking up, I found the tiny miko and the tiny dragon, each holding a familiar sword in their hands and presenting them to me.
"We have cleaned Brother Leonard's weapons!" Odango Girl exclaimed with a sunny smile. "Ichi taught me how to do it! It was fun!"
"Xiao-chan is a quick learner!" Ichiko proclaimed with a proud hum and passed Cal over to me.
"{Ah. Welcome back, young knight,}" they greeted me in a soft voice. They evidently enjoyed being pampered.
"{Report: Interface:Teeny's maintenance is complete. Interface:Teeny is ready for duty,}" my other weapon spoke in their usual, mechanical tone once I accepted them from Xiao, and I gave the tiny duo my heartfelt thanks.
"Thank you. You really helped me out with this one."
"Don't even mention it, ue-sama, but…" The two little girls suddenly shared a suspiciously meaningful glance. "Can we ask ue-sama for a favor in return?"
"… So long as it's not too troublesome."
"It's not!" Odango Girl insisted at once. "It's just an advice!"
"We're looking for advice!" the mini-miko doubled down and held up a finger. "Let's say that, theoretically speaking…"
"This is all theoretical," Xiao chimed in.
"Yes, very theoretical!" came the tripling down from the other girl. "Let's say that two people, a boy and a girl, would go out to patrol on a Saturday."
"Next Saturday."
"Yes, on a next Saturday, and then they would be informed that their patrol would be taken over by someone else at the last minute."
"The very last minute, so they are already out there, and there's no reason to just come straight home!"
"In that case, where does ue-sama think these two people should spend their evening together?"
"Brother Leonard should think of nice, romantic places!"
The two of them were looking at me like the fate of the entire world depended on my answer, so I let out a long sigh and told them, "First head to the central park, and have a nice walk under the trees. Not far from the southern exit, there's a nice, friendly Chinese restaurant. We ate there once, and their menu was fine."
"We?" Sahi blurted out, but I gestured for her to stay silent.
"After that, they should head to the shopping mall; the bookstores have a special Valentine Day's exhibition there, and it's open until late in the evening."
"Oooh! I like that!" Ichiko exclaimed, and dramatically put a hand on her chin. "The keikaku is coming together!"
Mirroring her pose, Odango Girl did the same, and exclaimed, "Keikaku means plan!"
The two little girls let out a giggle in unison, and waved us goodbye before dashing out of the workshop, leaving me alone with Sahi once more.
"Wow. You're, like, totally wicked at this."
"No, I'm telling you, I just did my homework," I grumbled and returned to the plaques. "Anyhow, what were we even talking about?"
"Oh, I think we're, like, done with that," the brown girl told me with an impish grin. "I totally liked your ideas. I can't wait to see the look on Paz's face at the end of the day! We're going to have such a cow!"
"Yes, yes. Good luck with that…" I grumbled as I finished inspecting the second plaque and put my name on it. "Seriously, why does everyone come to me for advice about—?"
Before I could finish, I noticed a new face entering the workshop. For a moment, I was worried I was getting hit by one of those 'rule of three' situations, but thankfully, it was only Sir Arnwald. Dressed in his full armour instead of his Uniformer, and visibly perspiring, he must have just finished training with the rest of the Knights, and based on his serious expression, I was sure he wasn't going to bother me with any superfluous dating advice.
"My Liege," he greeted me with a salute as he walked over, and then gave a simple greeting to the girl by my side. "Lady Sahi. I didn't know you were in New Camelot."
"Oh, I was, like, working as usual," she answered with a modest smile.
By the way, Arnwald was one of the staunchest supporters of calling the underground base New Camelot, and he had been using the term to refer to the place at any chance he got. Go figure.
"Can I help you?"
"I'm only here to pay my respects," he solemnly told me. "Ever since your return, the morale of the subjects of New Camelot has risen considerably."
"I'm glad to hear that. Anything else to report?"
"Not as such, no," he said, still sounding stoic, but I couldn't help but notice that he wasn't meeting my eyes. At last, he took a deep breath, as if to resolve himself to something, and uttered, "However, since you have offered help, may I ask you about something that has been on my mind for the longest time?"
"… Go on."
"You see, My Liege, I have noticed that Sister Morgana has been often out of New Camelot. I presume it's due to the secret mission you have entrusted to her, as well as Brother Agrawain?"
"… That is correct."
"I see." He nodded, and then, after a long beat, he blurted out, "I've been worried about her overstretching herself as of late, so I wish to invite her out to relax this Saturday, but I have no experience in such matters, and… My Liege? Why are you holding your head?"
"Don't mind me," I grumbled, trying to ignore the chuckling rejuvenated arch-mage by my side. "I should have known that I wouldn't be able to avoid the rule of three… Please, proceed."
Comments
thaughton2
Leo's experiencing the consequences of assisting/usurping the narrative so often.
carebear90
let's hope Leo has any places to go on Valentine's left for himself after his people are done with 'asking for advice'.
