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The Simulacrum - Chapter 138 - Part 1
🕑 Added 2024-02-27 18:22:22 +0000 UTCMy day at school was… rather stressful. Not because of the lessons, or anything similarly mundane reasons, but due to the gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach. It was more psychological than physical in nature (or so I hoped, as an ulcer was the last thing I needed right now); a result of my worries over whether I made the right calls over the weekend.
Was it fine to leave the directors in place? Should I have been more forceful? Would my actions cause them to be more or less active in the future? Would it have been better if I just publicly denounced them, instead of trying to deal with them behind closed doors?
Similarly, did I make the right call with Percival? Maybe I shouldn't have even talked to him, and just let Roland deal with him. But was it right to remove him from the capital-P Plot, especially at a critical juncture like this?
And speaking of the Plot, what was the Narrative's ploy here? Was it to spark a conflict between me and the Directorate? If so, what did that mean in the grand scheme of things? Did I delay the Plot by not flying off the handle completely and kicking the three head directors (or at the very least, Savir) out of office, or was I being held back because I wasn't supposed to do that yet? I wished I could ask other-me, but I had a strong feeling that the trick I pulled last time would've had diminishing returns, and if other-me wanted to tell me about it, he could've done so the last time.
With all of these things (and many, many more) weighing on my mind, it was a small miracle I could pay any attention to the classes. Luckily though, there were lots of distractions to keep me from falling into a navel-gazing black hole. Some were welcome, such as the antics of my girlfriends. Others though…
"So, I was thinking," Ammy whispered as we were lining up in the cafeteria. She was so quiet that I had to read half the words off her lips to make sense of what she was saying, which was both annoying and slightly odd, considering she normally would've scolded others to even whisper about such topics in public. What topics? Well… "Listen, you said you have to power to retroactively change things, right?"
"Yeah," I confirmed a touch trepidatiously.
"And you can really do that, right? You didn't just say it to freak me out?"
"I can, but it's—"
"So," she cut me off, just as we were about to reach the counter. "You could change things about people too, right?"
"Theoretically," I granted her and then gestured for a pause while we placed our orders. The moment the cafeteria lady turned away though, she continued unabated.
"So, can you make me into a human?"
"You are a human already."
My delivery was flat enough to put pancakes to shame, but she remained adamant.
"You know what I meant," she hissed, and I shook my head again.
"And you know how I feel about the whole homunculus thing," I told her and picked up my lunch.
She did so as well and quickly followed after me.
"But it's theoretically possible, right? Right?"
"Yes, but I'm not doing it." I stopped for a moment to let some other students pass us by, and then pulled her aside to a less crowded spot. "Listen, retconning stuff is ridiculously dangerous. You are you, because of your history and memories. If I changed something fundamental like that, you would no longer be yourself, but a different person. I thought I made this clear when we talked about this in the base."
"I know, and I'm not telling you to do it, I just want to know if it's something that couldbe done," she argued back, and if she didn't have both of her hands occupied with her food tray, I was sure she would've done that thing where she menacingly tweaked her glasses at me.
"Potentially, yes, but there would need to be a literally life-or-death situation for me to even consider something like that."
In truth, I probably wouldn't have done so even then, because it could've had literal world- (or at the very least, Simulacrum-) shattering results, and getting the attention of the four star people and their bony guest-and/or-superior was just yet another reason to treat the prospect as just a thought experiment. It was best it stayed that way.
"I was just asking," Ammy complained, but I ignored her and headed to our table.
She grudgingly followed after me, to the usual table in the corner of the cafeteria. The weather was promising to be rainy for the next couple of days, so rooftop lunch breaks were off the menu for the time being. Everyone was sitting at their usual spots, and as soon as I joined them, a certain Celestial girl theatrically rubbed her cheek and tweaked an imaginary monocle. Or was it a magnifying glass?
Either way, she let out a huff and declared, "Suspicious!"
"What?" the class rep asked as she took a seat between Josh and my sisters, and Angie let out a strangely French noise. No, seriously, that's the best way I could describe it.
"You, mein Fraulein!" Angie exclaimed and… wait, was that supposed to be a German noise? Whatever the case might've been, she pointed at me next, stopping my train of thought dead in its tracks. "And you! What's going on between you two lately?"
"Excuse me?"
"You two have been whispering between each other all day today." She mimed smoking a pipe, using her fork as a prop, and… wait. Was she trying to act like a detective? "All evidence points at the two of you being up to no good!"
"It's not like that," Ammy spoke up in our defence, drawing Angie's attention.
"Then you should have no problem explaining what exactly you were doing, right?"
"Actually… I can't."
It was only natural, considering she had been pestering me about the Narrative, the Plot, and other meta-related topics every chance she got since the morning, none of which could be freely shared with the childhood friend duo, or the rest of the non-meta-aware crowd. That said, she could've probably deflected it by saying it was about 'destiny' or something, but she didn't think that far ahead.
"You see! I told you they were up to something! Whispering in secret and stuff! All very suspicious, eh?" Angie exclaimed with an ear-to-ear grin, and poked his boyfriend, nearly knocking the food off his fork.
"Hey, careful! This thing has truffles, you know? It's not cheap."
Oddly enough, such things never seemed to bother him when I was the one who bought his food here. What a huge difference that makes, huh?
In any case, Angie didn't relent and pointed her fork at me.
"Leo? You aren't trying to cheat on Judy and Elly with Ammy, right?"
That accusation made the class rep nearly drop her own fork. As for me, I glanced at my girlfriends, who were locked in a heated discussion about the minigolf course with my sisters, so they weren't paying much attention to our side of the table. Probably for the better.
"Josh? Would you kindly flick your girlfriend on the forehead for me? I'd do it myself, but I just sat down, and I don't want to get back up."
"My pleasure," he said, and to my surprise, he immediately did good on it.
"Owie! Hey!"
Of course, I would've hit her harder, and wouldn't have rubbed the spot afterwards like he did, but that was to be expected.
"I'm with Leo on this one," my friend backed me up, though again, the way he was rubbing her forehead made his scolding slightly less effective. "Where did you even get such a dumb idea?"
"It's not dumb. Leo was always surrounded by pretty girls and always secretly whispering about stuff, even back then, so of course I'd think that!"
"Back when?" I asked, and she made a vague gesture.
"You know, back in the…" She paused and tilted her head to the side, Josh's fingers following the movement. "Actually, I can't exactly remember."
By the sound of it, it might've been a stray memory of Deus. I had some problems dealing with Polemos's fragments in a similar way, though it only lasted for a few days. In her case, the process was a bit more protracted, but so long as it didn't affect her personality, I figured it wasn't something for me to worry about. I was agonising about too many things already, anyway.
"It's still a heavy accusation to make." Ammy was glaring at the troublemaker, and she immediately backpedalled.
"It was supposed to be a joke! A joke!" she insisted, but the class rep was already entering into lecture-mode, so I figured she'd get a scolding. Based on his expression, the guy caught between the two of them had the same impression, and he continued to mechanically eat while doing his best to ignore the argument around him.
In the meantime, the four most important girls in my life were still discussing whether or not they should plan another trip to the minigolf site, a conversation I also didn't want to interrupt, so I decided to follow Josh's example and just eat my food… at least until I was interrupted less than a second later.
"Bon appétit, Leonard," Lord Barnabas greeted me as he walked by.
Considering our customary table was out of the way, it meant he had to approach me on purpose, so I put my utensils aside for the moment and turned to him.
"Same to you. Do you have any business with me?"
"Being straight to the point is important in many cases, but acting too straightforward can also turn people off and consider you rude and brash," he lectured me on the spot, and after a beat, he added, "Yet, as a matter of fact, I do indeed have some business with you."
"Do tell."
The dark-skinned arch-mage glanced around the table, but seeing that there were no free seats, he had to continue while standing and holding his food tray.
"There was some troubling news about further unaffiliated surveillance teams being sighted around the School, but after what happened last time, Lord Endymonion is unwilling to let your Praetorian Guards act on their own to verify these rumors."
"Yes, Jaakobah was complaining about that the other day."
Of course, since I was busy with all the other things on my plate at the time, I didn't do anything about it.
"In that case, I have a proposition."
"Oh?"
"I'm willing to act as a liaison and observer to ensure the Praetorian Guards don't overstep their jurisdiction while apprehending these suspicious elements, so to speak. Of course, to do so, I would require your explicit consent."
"Sounds nice, but what do you get out of this deal?" I asked the obvious question, and the man flashed a pearly-white smile.
"Peace of mind."
"Fair enough," I shrugged. "I'll talk to them after school, and we'll work something out."
I thought that was the end of the conversation, but he didn't move.
"On the topic of after-school activities," he started, his expression even more focused than when we talked about potential spies and assassins just now, "Have you given any serious thought to my offer?"
"… Do you mean the diplomacy lessons?"
He nodded, and I was just about to give it proper consideration when we were startled by another voice.
"Barnabas! How dare you!"
Glancing over, I found Lord Ambrose stomping towards us, with an awkwardly smiling Lord Gulliver following closely behind him.
"Why could you possibly mean by that?" Ambrose responded in a neutral voice, causing the bearded arch-mage to fume even harder.
"I told you that I was going to challenge him today! How dare you get in my way!"
"And I told you that I don't believe that your attempts to repeatedly duel Leonard Dunning are conducive to cultivating a favorable relationship with either the Draconic Federation or the Celestial realm."
"Nonsense! What better way is there to foster understanding between different folks than a good old-fashioned scuffle? Aren't I right, Leonard?"
"I…"
"Don't try to pressure him into agreeing with you, Ambrose," Barnabas cut between us. "Furthermore, we were already in the process of making arrangements for the afternoon. I personally believe that both us and our organizations would gain much more from us sitting down and explaining our differences and how to resolve them like reasonable adults, rather than your attempts to use Leonard to test whatever new spell you cooked up as of late."
"Bah! You see, Leonard? The practitioners of the aetheric branches are always like this! Let's focus on the words and the theory and whatnot, and never consider the practicality of something!"
"I might if you could convince me how these duels are in any way practical."
While the two of them continued to argue, the red-headed arch-mage sneakily sidled up to me.
"Psst? Leonard?"
I turned to Lord Gulliver, currently crouching next to my seat in a display that was anything but befitting of his dignified position as an arch-mage, and he gestured for me to lean closer.
"What is it?"
He put a hand next to his mouth, and whispered, "I have a favor to ask. Could you go along with Ambrose?"
"… Why?"
"You see…" He awkwardly scratched his cheek and lowered his voice even more. "You see, Ambrose has a… strong personality, so he doesn't have many friends in the Assembly. Everyone acknowledges his skills and power, but that's about it, and since he had such a good time the last time you sparred, could you play with him again?"
My eyes narrowed into squints on their own, but the man's smile was entirely guileless, no matter how closely I scrutinized him.
"Are you his helicopter mom, or something?"
"Sometimes I kind of feel that way," the lanky arch-mage answered with a smirk and a wink. "So?"
I considered my options and ultimately shrugged.
"I'm a little stressed out nowadays, so I might as well let off some steam with him."
"Great! Ah, and please keep this conversation a secret."
"I'll—"
"Hey, you lummox! What are you whispering about with Leonard!?" Lord Ambrose bellowed, and Gulliver let out a carefree chuckle.
"Nooothing at all!"
He gave me another wink and exited the conversation. In the meantime, Angie was pointing at me, so I tuned into that discussion, and…
"You see! Now he's whispering with men too! It's all too suspicious!"
"There's nothing suspicious about it though," Josh pointed out, but her girlfriend was adamant.
"But I'm telling you, Leo was always really popular with boys as well!"
"When?" Ammy asked, her hand already poised to tweak her glasses.
"Like, back then! You know?"
"We don't know, and that's why we're asking," Josh muttered in an exasperated voice. "This isn't another one of your young-adult-fiction-induced delusions, right?"
"Mou! Stop it! You're supposed to be on my side!" Angie pouted and repeatedly hit her boyfriend's head with her knuckles. It was all for show though, and obviously didn't hurt him.
"Ow! Hey! Cut it out!"
Or so I thought. In any case, I flagged down the arguing arch-mages.
"Yes, Leonard?" Barnabas turned to me with a perfectly calm and composed expression, as if he wasn't in a heated argument just a few seconds ago.
"I'll squeeze both of you into my timetable," I told them, raising a few brows in the process. "We'll have that diplomacy class first, and then I'll find Lord Ambrose and I'll take a look at whatever new spell he wants to try out."
"Fine by me, but don't take too long," Ambrose huffed, and after glancing around, he raised his voice again. "You lout! How dare you leave me behind like that!"
While the bearded Magi rushed after his lanky companion, Lord Barnabas let out a soft sigh and told me, "For our first lesson, I think we should discuss how trying to please everyone will often lead to pleasing no one, and result in more friction and incomplete resolutions in an organization than otherwise."
"I'll promise to at least listen to it?" I said with a cheeky smile.
"Fair enough, for a start."
He gave me a deep nod, and then headed after his colleagues, no doubt to continue the argument. Meanwhile, Josh waved at me to get my attention, and when I turned to him, he pointed a finger at my face.
"You're going to spar with that old guy, right?"
"That's the plan."
I was a bit curious about where he was going with this, and they didn't have to wait long.
"Then can I also request a duel?" he asked, redoubling his pointing efforts.
"… Why?"
"Because I need it." His tone sounded a bit uncertain, but then he doubled down. "I mean, I've been trying my best to get used to these Celestial powers, but I feel like I've hit a wall, and I have no one else to ask for pointers."
"I'm not exactly an expert either, but… eh, since you asked nicely, we can give it a go. This evening, after Fred took your measurements?"
"Sounds fine to me," Josh answered with a wolfish grin, and it was this moment that my girlfriends used to rejoin the conversation.
"What did I miss?" Judy asked while pointing at the guy's expression.
"I'll be having lessons on politics and diplomacy with Lord Barnabas, spar again with Lord Ambrose, and then have a one-on-one with Josh later in—"
"I tell you, I only said that because Leo is really popular!" Angie interrupted my explanation, still locked in an argument with Ammy. "Or was. Used to be? You know what I mean!"
"And then there's that," I shrugged, and after glancing over, Judy gave me a flat look.
"Do I want to know?"
"Probably not."
That was enough to convince her, and she turned to her food instead.
I was about to do that, but then something in what Angie said made me pause. Let's presume she was having these weird impressions (and turning them into bad comedy) because her perception of me was an odd amalgamation of Leonard Dunning and Polemos. However, she claimed that OG-Polemos was popular with both men and women. Conversely, by having a fraction of a fraction of his memories, I knew for a fact that OG-Polemos only had eyes for OG-Deus. Yet Angie, our second coming of Deus, was unaware of this factoid, and instead was convinced that OG-Polemos was a womanizer… manizer? Peopleizer?
Whatever, I'll work out the terminology later. More importantly though… could it be that OG-Deus was yet another super-dense protagonist type? Just why the heck was this archetype so common, anyway?
"Eh, food for thought," I mumbled and shelved the idea for the time being, focusing on the food that wasn't for the thought in front of me instead.
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Egathentale
Hello, dear readers. Sorry for the late update, but my sleep cycle went haywire again. It sucks. Since that's a downer, here's a fun fact for you: The fear/discomfort caused by long words is called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. No, I'm not going to try to spell that word, or I might end up hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobiac myself. Anyhow, have a nice week, and see you soon-ish. Ciao.
