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TPB OMNIBUS #16 - RANDOM CHARACTER ROUND-UP (free)
🕑 Added 2021-05-03 15:46:18 +0000 UTCHey! So quick disclaimer. This is the final chapter of the Omnibus, and most of these are plucked straight from our website(which is why this is a free post!). I hope you've all enjoyed the omnibus! From here on out there will be updates on LOTB every week until that's finished, then something new will be starting (sssssh!)
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PART 4 (GANGS OF PANTY'S LANDING)
PART 5 (RANDOM LOCATION ROUND-UP)
PART 7 (ASSLESS CHAPS/SUPERPOWER PANTIES)
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RANDOM CHARACTER ROUND-UP
OVERVIEW
While we’ve covered many notable characters throughout Panty’s Landing, there are still a few more minor characters who haven’t been addressed. We’ll be running through them here.
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CHARACTERS
GERALD AND JAY:
Gerald and Jay are hardcore, and they really, really want you to know about it. Within their gang, the Greasers, they’re sorta…losers. If there’s a totem pole, they’re lowest on it, and their leader literally refers to them as “Fuel”. But they wanna prove everyone wrong! Gerald wants to earn a Driver patch so he can be on the front-line for the most dangerous missions, and Jay wants to get his Mechanic patch so he can help his friend out as a medic!
These two haven’t gained the respect of anyone around them and they know it but that hasn’t stopped them yet. They’ve spent their whole lives, since they met at an orphanage when they were five years old, trying to prove themselves to someone. They’ve beaten up teachers, elders, police officers, gang members, and even each other in an attempt to be loved—they just want to be part of a family.
To them, getting the bounty for Lucia and Kern isn’t about the money. They don’t give a damn about money. They learned a long time ago, when Jay got addicted to Crotch(a common drug abused by the Greasers. Nobody knows what it actually is), that it creates nothing but problems.
The bounty is a chance to respect.
BERA:
Bera believes he’s a stuffed animal, and who’s gonna tell him otherwise? Years ago he was scrawny and weak, but thirteen-hundred protein shakes later he was on the cover of Beefy Beefcake magazine showing off the, ahem, goods. While he was a celebrity for a while, work eventually slowed down, and he found himself homeless and struggling.
Until he found god—er, panties, which he’s become entirely devout to. In his mind, the afterlife’s a field full of them to endlessly frolic in, and he must reach it at all costs. The panties, they speak to him, calling his name in the dead of night, vibrating Morse code into his groin!
This revelation occurred far outside of Panty’s Landing, in a small western town which actually had law enforcement. He got into a bar fight with a member of the Panty Mafia who’d been sent away on recon, and accidentally killed him. This is where the panties first spoke to him, telling him he’d killed a prophet and that if he wanted to atone, he needed to become a prophet as well.
Wearing the head of the stuffed animal he killed so that he may never forget his crime, he traveled to Panty’s Landing, met with Bon, and begged to be made a “prophet”. He was denied, but given a chance—if he somehow manages to collect 1 million panties, he’ll be allowed to join the Panty Mafia, and his sins will be forgiven!
And thus Bera roams the land, killing anyone wearing panties and taking on the Panty Mafia’s biggest bounties, hoping to appease his stuffed prophets and one day be accepted into their ranks.
LUTHER:
By day, Luther’s just an average cop. He wakes up at 4:30 to the sounds of gunshots he knows he’ll do nothing about, grabs two whole mugs of double caffeinated coffee for the “road”, then walks out of the jail cell he calls home and sits at his desk. It’s a long journey, sometimes two hours for him, but thankfully he has all that coffee, else he’d probably pass out! Phew. After sitting at his desk he’ll read and wait for someone to report a crime. They won’t. One time he tried arresting a criminal himself—he got citizen’s arrested. Staying here is easier.
But by night, Luther becomes BRIEF MAN enemy of the Panty Mafia and anyone not wearing briefs, the ultimate underwear style! He’ll stand atop the station’s rooftop, clad in only a pair of briefs on both his heads, and softly say “I am…Brief Man” before returning to his cell to watch his soaps.
